00;02;35;06 - 00;02;36;19 Stephanie Hi, I'm Stephanie.

00;02;36;22 - 00;02;47;11 Seth I'm Seth, and this is the Forever Young show. The most powerful force in this world is a woman who knows who she is, why she is here, and what she wants to accomplish.

00;02;47;12 - 00;02;54;00 Stephanie And that's where self-care comes in. As a woman, it is my opportunity and my responsibility to take care of me.

00;02;54;05 - 00;02;55;25 Seth Self-care for your mind.

00;02;56;01 - 00;02;57;11 Stephanie Self-care for your body.

00;02;57;18 - 00;02;58;28 Seth Self-care for your money.

00;02;59;04 - 00;03;07;17 Stephanie Our mission is to serve women as they fulfill their irreplaceable roles and families. Society, business, the fabric of humanity.

00;03;07;19 - 00;03;40;09 Seth So let's get this show on the road. I love this little self-description that you sent us. Yeah, there's just this very concise. Very. I know who I am, kind of a feeling. And I'm going to read the first sentence, and I'm going to let Steph, because I know she's going to go off on about all those things, because as soon as she read this, by the way, actually, she, she texted me and she said.

00;03;40;11 - 00;03;42;08 Stephanie I could go travel with her. Yeah.

00;03;42;11 - 00;03;47;05 Seth I get out with this girl. Right? I'm like, you guys, you girls would be great.

00;03;47;07 - 00;03;48;27 Ashley You guys, we would have so much fun.

00;03;48;27 - 00;04;03;07 Seth It would have a ton of fun. So this is how Ashley. Ashley Shepherd, describes herself. I am an American woman. Okay. You just had me that. That was like. Whoa.

00;04;03;07 - 00;04;04;19 Stephanie Hello? Hi. Not like.

00;04;04;19 - 00;04;33;03 Seth Boom. Yeah, I don't know. There's just. There's something I don't want to get to. Well, I don't I might wax a little poetic, but there's just a feeling. Just so much depth. Especially considering where we are in world history and in our national history. And so many people running around, not really fully understanding their identity or walking around with a false identity.

00;04;33;06 - 00;04;45;03 Seth Right? But, but groping for something and finally reaching for something inside. I'm an American woman trying to navigate the challenges of being a wife, mother, and business owner.

00;04;45;05 - 00;04;53;16 Stephanie I love to travel, go fishing, and eat delicious food. Am I talking about Ashley or me?

00;04;53;18 - 00;05;03;03 Stephanie When one challenge that we have is, you know, Seth loves fishing and some of his best friends absolutely love fishing too. So, you know, they used to go once a year together.

00;05;03;08 - 00;05;04;13 Seth To a special place, right?

00;05;04;14 - 00;05;10;18 Stephanie Yeah, yeah. And they wouldn't bring the wives. And I'm like, why can't I go? I want to go fishing. I want to know where the special.

00;05;10;18 - 00;05;12;00 Ashley Places.

00;05;12;03 - 00;05;21;01 Stephanie But not otherwise go fishing. I'm like, so I get punished because none of their wives want to go fishing. Explain that one to me.

00;05;21;04 - 00;05;27;28 Ashley Oh, I know, I know. Oh, you got to get new friends. Just kidding. Right.

00;05;27;29 - 00;05;43;17 Seth I got to go. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. We'll just say this. This only becomes a heated issue with lots of emotions flying around whenever we talk about it.

00;05;43;20 - 00;05;47;08 Ashley Oh.

00;05;47;10 - 00;05;48;13 Ashley Yeah.

00;05;48;15 - 00;05;53;17 Stephanie I mean, well, because, number one, I'm his wife. I should know where he's going.

00;05;53;19 - 00;05;53;22 Ashley one.

00;05;53;22 - 00;05;54;24 Seth Hundred percent agree.

00;05;54;25 - 00;06;10;23 Stephanie If I ask, I should be able to know. And number two, it became a huge issue when one year they allowed their sons to come. And I'm like, oh, oh, so now we'll open the door for the sons to come. But the wife still can't know.

00;06;10;26 - 00;06;21;00 Ashley That's right. Like, this is not a killer, right? Right. Oh, I love it. So love it. Anyway, I'm.

00;06;21;00 - 00;06;26;05 Seth Already feeling it. How did you.

00;06;26;07 - 00;06;29;26 Stephanie So, yes, fishing is one of my love languages. I love it.

00;06;29;28 - 00;06;31;03 Ashley Yeah.

00;06;31;06 - 00;06;32;09 Seth Favorite places to fish?

00;06;32;10 - 00;06;33;13 Ashley Yeah, I think.

00;06;33;15 - 00;06;33;29 Seth I'll go ahead.

00;06;34;01 - 00;06;59;23 Ashley Oh, no, I was going to say so. The best trip I ever took was, to Canada. So, long story short, I had booked this, like, exclusive fishing trip. It was my aunt and uncle and me and Brady. We had booked this fishing trip. They take you on a bush plane. They. They drop you off on a private lake for seven days.

00;06;59;24 - 00;07;24;29 Ashley No cell phone service, no bathrooms, nothing. You have a little cabin, and you have two little motor boats that you can travel this lake with. You have to pack in all your own food, all your own supplies, everything. And I was so excited to go on this fishing trip. And about a month before we were going to go, Brady's best friend drew an elk tag, and it was once in a lifetime.

00;07;25;01 - 00;07;46;00 Ashley Oh, and, I could tell that Brady was, like, going back and forth and back and forth, and, this specific friend, like, his dad's passed away, and he doesn't have a brother that he hunts with. And Brady's his best friend. And I knew that it was important for Brady to go on this hunt with this friend. And so I said, you know what?

00;07;46;02 - 00;08;09;07 Ashley You're going to stay home. But I'm not staying home. And so Brady ended up staying home. And I took our oldest son, Remi, who was 12 at the time. It was the greatest memory we've ever made. And it was kind of just one of those times where I was like, this is how it was supposed to be. I needed to, like, make those connections.

00;08;09;07 - 00;08;23;08 Ashley And I needed this time with my oldest son, with nobody else around. No cell phones, no nothing. And he talks about it all the time when I'm like, hey, what do you want to do? What vacation? He's like, I want to go back to Canada. And so it was it.

00;08;23;08 - 00;08;24;16 Stephanie Was the greatest.

00;08;24;18 - 00;08;42;20 Ashley Like fishing. I will have to send you guys pictures, because we were catching these northern pike that were anywhere from 37 to 42in long. And just like we could barely hold him up when we got him in the boat. It was so fun. It was so fun. Oh, that sounds amazing.

00;08;42;22 - 00;08;44;01 Seth that sounds amazing.

00;08;44;04 - 00;08;45;21 Ashley Yes, it does sound meant.

00;08;45;21 - 00;08;46;03 Seth To be.

00;08;46;05 - 00;08;46;16 Ashley Awesome.

00;08;46;17 - 00;08;47;20 Seth And meant to be.

00;08;47;23 - 00;08;49;19 Ashley Oh, totally.

00;08;49;22 - 00;09;03;27 Seth I mean, I can feel for Brady. I mean, I like I know we're all like that, that feeling. But I think the classic part of the story is like, hey, you can stay. I'm going, babe. Like, I'm going, I'm going to Canada.

00;09;03;29 - 00;09;12;06 Ashley Yeah. Oh, I love, oh, I'm gonna lose out on the fishing or the money. Yeah, man. So I was like, I'm going.

00;09;12;13 - 00;09;14;01 Stephanie So true.

00;09;14;04 - 00;09;51;28 Seth you speak about travel. We, we're planning a road trip to Alaska, with our youngest daughters. You know, once these these current two, you know, at 18 and 20 or out of the house, which is so eminent. we want to do a summer in Alaska on a road trip. Utah to Alaska for 60 to 90 days and just drive it, get up there to the Kenai Peninsula and beyond, and shrimp and fish and cam.

00;09;52;02 - 00;09;55;25 Ashley Anyways, we cooked up a dream. Yeah, it really does. I love it.

00;09;55;27 - 00;10;01;08 Stephanie In fact, the girls keep asking, so when are we going to Alaska? When are we going to Alaska?

00;10;01;10 - 00;10;02;12 Ashley So it'll be fun.

00;10;02;12 - 00;10;06;19 Seth And those girls is like their mama. Yes. They love to fish.

00;10;06;25 - 00;10;08;16 Stephanie Oh, I thought you meant sweet and spicy.

00;10;08;18 - 00;10;10;21 Ashley Oh.

00;10;10;23 - 00;10;11;11 Seth I think.

00;10;11;13 - 00;10;12;12 Ashley That too.

00;10;12;14 - 00;10;33;12 Seth Yeah. Tell me, tell me what? We're down, we're down. You're. You know, your family's horse people. You can appreciate that. So tonight we were we were down at, you know, at our in our arena riding. And, the girls have a, have a trainer who comes in as well and teaches they're prepping for barrels and polls and whatnot.

00;10;33;12 - 00;10;54;27 Seth And so, we we got this brand, we brand new, we got a ten year old Mustang, another Mustang from the wild, herds. but he's trained awesome horse. And we were riding tonight, and I was on the ground. And. Ruth. Well, Hannah's over there doing whatever she's doing. She's doing great. And Ruth taking this horse who she's only known, like, three days, but it's now her favorite horse.

00;10;55;03 - 00;11;14;12 Seth Like, she has bonded with this animal only slightly less than I've bonded. And, you know, and I he's like, why does he like to follow you around, dad? Like, well, because he loves me like I'm connected and bondage. Well, if I write him more, will he love me too? And so this sweet moment. This is where the sweet part of the source comes in.

00;11;14;14 - 00;11;28;24 Seth Like this super sweet, tender moment. And then we had a little miscommunication. I'm not exactly sure what happened. I asked her to do this or that or whatever, and then all of a sudden she just turns that horse and walks away from me, you know? Turns out horse walks away from me and I'm like, what is going on?

00;11;28;25 - 00;11;45;27 Seth She's like, I'm upset with you. And I'm like, oh, I'm upset with, like, why I'm upset with you because you said you were going to do this, and then you did this kind of like, like, and you are six years old girl.

00;11;46;00 - 00;11;50;09 Ashley I know, I know. Oh, man.

00;11;50;11 - 00;11;58;11 Seth Heaven help us. It's like sweet and sassy, but rooted in Jesus.

00;11;58;14 - 00;12;04;06 Ashley Yup, yup. So I will take him. That's the way the. That's the best ones.

00;12;04;08 - 00;12;10;06 Stephanie That's true. True, true. So, Ashley, what's your favorite food?

00;12;10;08 - 00;12;36;05 Ashley Oh, you know, I think that's like a really challenging question because. So I'll give you a little backstory of like, why food is so deeply rooted and actually who I am. And, when I so when I was a junior in high school, I tried out for a choir, that I like, actually thought I wouldn't make because I can't sing.

00;12;36;06 - 00;13;01;13 Ashley I have a really raspy voice, obviously. and so I don't sing. Well, but I love music. And so all my friends were trying out for this, like, prestigious women's choir. And, so I tried out, and I think the teacher just liked me, and I made it. And so, because I legit can't sing you guys, like, I try, but, my range is maybe like 3 or 4 notes.

00;13;01;13 - 00;13;07;05 Ashley And if it's out of that, I'm out. doesn't Adele have a recipe? Voice?

00;13;07;08 - 00;13;11;05 Seth Yeah. Hey, listen, like you and Adele, like I don't, you know, don't sell yourself.

00;13;11;05 - 00;13;33;27 Ashley Short, but thank you. Thank you for comparing us. You know what? Great. I'm so part of this, like, choir group thing that I was in was there was this group of girls that, We decided to. We wanted to get together on Sunday nights, and we wanted to make a difference in our school. And so we would pick different kids in our school, and they weren't even, like our friends, per se.

00;13;33;28 - 00;13;56;25 Ashley Some of them were. But like, we would just pick these random kids at school and we would go to their house on Sunday nights. They didn't know, we would knock on the door and we'd be like, oh, hey, Johnny, do you care if we sing a couple songs to you? And they're like, okay. And so I'd be like, oh, like, I brought a plate of cookies or I, I brought a plate of brownies or whatever it was that week.

00;13;56;28 - 00;14;15;11 Ashley So we'd go into these homes and we would give them treats and we would sing 2 or 3. typically there were songs about Jesus, you know, some type of him or some type of church song or whatever it was. And we would sing these and then we would leave, like we're talking ten minutes at like max. And we would do three of those houses every Sunday.

00;14;15;12 - 00;14;43;02 Ashley I did this my whole junior and senior year. Wow. And I realized in that moment that, like, not only can music bond people. That's a whole other like subject. But there was something that brought me so much joy when I made or I always made the treat. No one else. When I made this treat and I showed up at someone's house and then I kind of, like, became known as, like the cookie lady at school.

00;14;43;04 - 00;15;05;01 Ashley Like, people would be like, oh, have you ever had Ashley Erickson's like, cookies? Like she makes the best cookies or she makes the best, and then, like, people would argue like, no, the Oreo ones are best. No, the peanut butter ones are best. No. Like, and that's like who I became to like my peers was like, I brought them treats, and it brought me this level of fulfillment that I had never felt before.

00;15;05;03 - 00;15;30;13 Ashley And granted, like I was a straight-A student, I was I was a 4.0 student. I was the basketball MVP. Like I had all the things that any, you know, high school kid would want going for them. And there was nothing that brought me as much joy as being in someone's home, giving them some type of food item.

00;15;30;16 - 00;15;54;28 Ashley And so I feel like to say like, oh, what's your favorite food? It would be so hard for me to say, because I don't even know. I think every food brings a different kind of like love and joy and experience that. That's what I love about it. I love trying new things, and I also love the comfort of my grandma's recipes.

00;15;55;00 - 00;16;23;01 Ashley So, like the two polar opposites bring me the same amount of like joy and fulfillment and it's like, it really is like what I'm passionate about. I love it, I love it so much. Food is the gate to anyone, so it is like I've never had somebody that has disliked me, or somebody that I've hurt, or somebody that I don't know turned me away from their doorstep.

00;16;23;03 - 00;16;41;28 Ashley If I have something in my arms to give them. And I think that is the most beautiful thing, is it can break down any barrier, any wall, any like anything. It just softens the human heart. It does. It's so beautiful. So that's what I love about it.

00;16;42;04 - 00;16;50;17 Stephanie I should have expected you to give something so deep. But I wasn't expecting that.

00;16;50;19 - 00;16;51;23 Ashley Oh, yeah.

00;16;51;23 - 00;17;03;28 Stephanie I've come to enjoy cooking for others or. Or starting to learn, you know, baking and stuff. I used to be like, this is how good of a baker I was when I was married the first time.

00;17;04;01 - 00;17;06;00 Seth Yeah. You were married before?

00;17;06;03 - 00;17;06;13 Ashley Yeah.

00;17;06;13 - 00;17;12;01 Seth You do an episode with a girl, and you find out that she actually had another husband. Like, we're always finding new things out on the show.

00;17;12;03 - 00;17;20;12 Ashley There's deep rooted secrets that are going to come out in this episode.

00;17;20;14 - 00;17;21;19 Ashley

00;17;21;22 - 00;17;55;11 Stephanie So I would make. What was I making? I think cookies or or maybe one day I made some banana bread or something. Granted, I got married super young. It was like two weeks before my 19th birthday. So, you know, by the time I had these kids, I was in my early 20s. And I just remember are 20 year olds who back then I think she was like three and one day I had made some banana bread and I overheard her eat it and she goes, oh, my mom can bake.

00;17;55;13 - 00;18;00;19 Ashley What? Like, what about all the cookies and other things that I've made? She was like.

00;18;00;22 - 00;18;04;25 Stephanie Well, daddy makes the cookies and you make the bread now.

00;18;04;28 - 00;18;34;16 Ashley I'm like, what? Oh, I love it. I love it. See? And you remembered that. Like that. Like created like a core memory for you. Totally. And not like all the food. That's what I love about it so much. It does. It creates this like deep connection that can bind people forever. I could tell you so many times like, oh, this person brought me this, or that person brought me this like I, because it connects us in the most beautiful way that like you don't forget.

00;18;34;19 - 00;18;39;17 Ashley It creates an emotion that is so long lasting. I don't know. I don't know.

00;18;39;18 - 00;19;05;05 Stephanie I love it. Yes. So speaking of that I know I've brought this up to you before, but I just remember, you know, we go to church together and I remember one week that, the Women's Relief Society group, you know, was talking about friends, and I don't. Do you remember when we did? They did, like, the glove thing where, like, you pull the glove out of the basket and then whoever match that was your friend for the week, and you're supposed to do something for them, or.

00;19;05;08 - 00;19;06;27 Ashley I don't even remember this. That was.

00;19;06;27 - 00;19;07;22 Stephanie It was years ago.

00;19;07;23 - 00;19;13;18 Seth It's because it wasn't a glove made out of food. It was just a cloth garment.

00;19;13;20 - 00;19;18;18 Ashley The cloth didn't bind anybody.

00;19;18;21 - 00;19;39;11 Stephanie so anyways, you and I did not get matched. But one question that they asked us in this class was, I want you to think about something that you need this week, and I want you to write it down on your paper. And so I wrote it down, and then, they said, okay, now find the person that has the matching glove and discuss what you need.

00;19;39;14 - 00;19;58;17 Stephanie And so I was like, oh my goodness, are you kidding me? This was like so private at the time. and honestly, it was just that I needed a friend. I remember thinking, I don't think that, sister. I don't think she reached out to me or whatnot. But you did. You came by that week and brought me one of your amazing chocolate chip cookies.

00;19;58;19 - 00;20;17;28 Stephanie And I. It was just, you know, you randomly showed up on the door, even though I know wasn't necessarily random. You didn't know that I needed that friend, but you were listening to that Holy Spirit tell you that Stephanie needs a cookie and a smile for me today, and that has impacted me ever since.

00;20;18;01 - 00;20;19;10 Ashley You can't see it. I know that.

00;20;19;17 - 00;20;25;02 Stephanie I am getting emotional because it wasn't the answer to my prayers. It was what I needed.

00;20;25;05 - 00;20;57;26 Ashley You know, what's really interesting about that is I think that kind of thinking of of femininity as a whole and what women struggle with a lot is we all lack a sense of purpose at times. And I think there's ebbs and flows of this, but I think feminine energy is so beautiful when we tap into it, because it is all of the good things that God created women to have.

00;20;57;28 - 00;21;25;07 Ashley And part of that is to be able to care and look out for other women. and so I, I so many years, so many years, and this is actually what I'm kind of going through right now, this weird transition is my whole life, and my whole purpose was rooted in, food. I built, you know, a great company, with food.

00;21;25;09 - 00;21;51;18 Ashley And so I felt like that was everything. And anything that I had to offer the world. But I also thought that it was the only thing that I had to offer the world. And so I think something that women really need to think about is the talents that we have are they are talents. I'm not taking that away from any woman.

00;21;51;21 - 00;22;36;23 Ashley but it's not who we are. It's what we do. Those talents are what we do. And so if we were to, like, remove those talents, then who are you? And I think that is like, the deeper question is I eliminated a company that I had owned and run and built for 15 years last November, and I lost my identity, and it was like it was heartbreaking because I felt like everything that I had, like given to the world and anything that I had to give to the world, I just let go.

00;22;36;26 - 00;22;58;19 Ashley And so if I didn't have any of that, like if I didn't have these titles and I didn't have this amazing income and I didn't have, like the, the popularity of of running all of this, then who was I? And for so many months like, and I'm still like trying to figure this out. I definitely have not healed.

00;22;58;19 - 00;23;34;05 Ashley I've learned a lot, but I'm still in this healing process of what do I have to offer? Then? And who am I? And why would anybody want to be my friend now? And it seems like so irrational, like like when I'm a very rational thinker. So when we have this narrative in our mind that we only have one thing to to offer a friend, a community, a family, like whatever that is when we think that like, oh, I don't have this anymore.

00;23;34;07 - 00;23;58;13 Ashley Then we have to change this narrative of like, what is it about me that attracts other people? And through like, just honestly, like I've had to ask Brady. I've had to ask other family members and close friends like, do you actually like me? And if you do, like, I legit don't know why, because I don't know why anyone would like me.

00;23;58;15 - 00;24;20;15 Ashley And to them, like, that's a silly question. But when I get to to be able to speak to women that are really close to me, they're actually like, oh, I have felt this before. I have felt like nobody wants to be my friend. I have felt like there's nothing good about me, or I felt like I have nothing to offer or I have no purpose.

00;24;20;17 - 00;25;01;20 Ashley And so just your story, it can remind all women that we don't have to have all these amazing talents or abilities or professions or titles, whatever you want to call it. We don't have to have any of that to impact the one, like the one person to just need you to show up at their door. That actually requires nothing except like a simple kind gesture that like completely change someone's like day.

00;25;01;23 - 00;25;19;20 Ashley And so I don't know I didn't know that. So I really appreciate you and that that's a great reminder to me that we don't have to do these grand things to make an impact on other women. They can be so simple and so long lasting. we just need to make effort.

00;25;19;22 - 00;25;37;04 Stephanie Definitely. I it makes me think of whenever, you know, you're commenting in these church classes that we have, you know, whether it's Sunday school or Relief Society. And I feel really inspired. Any time you open your mouth, whether it's the words that you're saying or the passion behind what you're saying, you know, to me, you've always been very grounded.

00;25;37;05 - 00;25;44;18 Stephanie It's, you know, sounding very grounded in who you are and what you're advocating. And that's always been really inspiring to me.

00;25;44;26 - 00;26;18;07 Ashley All. Yeah. I love that. You know, what's also interesting is like when we think about what society actually I would say society, but I would also say like our families and ourselves, like what we do to women as a whole. I think that's where my rebelliousness comes from, actually. Like, I feel like I can pinpoint why I'm a rebel a little bit, and it's because society tries to keep women living in fear.

00;26;18;09 - 00;26;48;20 Ashley It's $1 billion business. Fear of being overweight. Fear of any type of aging. Heaven forbid someone to have a wrinkle or a gray hair. Like they keep women living in fear. And they do it with billions and billions of dollars that is spent on all of these campaigns. Right? To to make us feel like you're never going to be skinny enough, you're never going to be pretty enough, and you're never going to be young enough.

00;26;48;23 - 00;27;15;17 Ashley So continue to, like, buy into all these things. And I had the most incredible thing happen to me after I had my second son. So this would have been almost 13 years ago. And I, I went to this big, like women's organization, like meeting a big women's meeting. And the woman that was speaking is world renowned. Like, she's so great.

00;27;15;17 - 00;27;30;14 Ashley Everyone thinks she is wonderful and she is like, I love her. And I had never met her before. And it was two weeks after I had my son. Any woman who has ever had a child knows what they feel like. Two weeks.

00;27;30;14 - 00;27;31;13 Stephanie After.

00;27;31;15 - 00;27;51;15 Ashley Like, let's be for real. We're not on our physical A-game, okay? And so I really didn't want to go, but I was like, oh, she's she's really going to give like an amazing you know, thought presentation whatever. So I ended up going, I'll have to send you the picture because I got a picture with this woman and, she was nice and she was great.

00;27;51;15 - 00;28;17;26 Ashley And I loved her. And she had an amazing, like, aura and energy about her. And when she gets up to speak, she's like, I just met a woman who is just radiating. And she is so beautiful. And she was like, Ashley, will you please stand up? And I was like, don't you dare make me do this. Like I was so mad in that moment, like there's so many beautiful women here.

00;28;17;28 - 00;28;41;24 Ashley And in my head, the narrative I had was I'm 40 pounds overweight. I barely have any makeup on. My face is so round because I had just, you know, had this baby and I was in the most frumpy clothes. Like, anything, anything that a woman can think of is just not ideal. That was me in that moment. And she's she's like, stand up.

00;28;41;24 - 00;29;01;08 Ashley And so I was like, she was looking right at me. She like, found me in the crowd. And I was like, I have to stand up. So I stood up and everyone's just like looking at me. And so I'm like, okay. So I like, sit back down. And then she goes to talk. She goes on to talk about like, inner beauty.

00;29;01;10 - 00;29;25;25 Ashley And she talks about like why people are drawn to us and because and it's because of a confidence that comes within. And it's not actually an external confidence. It's not what you look like. It's not how much you weigh. It's not how many wrinkles you have. And I think about yeah, if if a like hot girl walks by, even a woman notices.

00;29;25;25 - 00;29;56;18 Ashley Like, even I can appreciate a hot girl. Okay. I don't care. She's someone I can I can appreciate someone's like outer beauty for sure. But does that mean necessarily that I want to, like, be around her and hang around her, like, make her be one of my friends? Maybe. I don't know, I've got some hot friends. But I think that, like when you really, genuinely think about the people that you love to associate with, it is something so much deeper.

00;29;56;21 - 00;30;30;00 Ashley It's something about their energy and their spirit that is so full of light that you're like, I have to be around those people. And she taught me that 12 years ago that it's fine to take care of yourself. Like it. It actually we need to take care of our spirits, our bodies, our minds, like it is all encompassing, but it is so detrimental when we as women think that we need to be something that we're not, nor that we ever will be.

00;30;30;02 - 00;31;02;29 Ashley And for so many years I refused to wear shorts. I had a narrative in my head that I have short chubby legs. That's the truth. That's not false. That is true. But I told myself because of that I was not allowed to wear shorts. I wasn't worthy to wear shorts. And so I didn't. And last year, because I was, like, changing all these other weird things my life, I was like, you know what?

00;31;03;01 - 00;31;38;05 Ashley Why can't I wear shorts? Like, I'm going to do it then? So I started wearing shorts and I was like, there is something so freeing about this. When we put off the expectations of society or sometimes it happens even like when we're young, I know a lot of women like they get shamed from a young age, from their own parents, from their own siblings, and it creates a lot of damage that they have to work through for the rest of their lives, you know, or a boyfriend or an ex-husband or whatever it is.

00;31;38;05 - 00;32;09;14 Ashley And it is constant work and constant change, emotionally, to change that way of thinking. And I think that the more that women defend and stick up for inner beauty, the more that we can create communities that build women that say like, no, that actually is false. No one ever said, you have to be this way. My body is never going to be a size zero.

00;32;09;15 - 00;32;35;20 Ashley I'm not going to try to make it be a size zero. That's not realistic. We have so many unreal istic expectations that women constantly feel like failures. And it is not true. It's lies. It is lies that we tell ourselves to keep us from progressing. And so the more that we seek truth and we identify truth, the easier that the lies are apparent.

00;32;35;20 - 00;32;51;15 Ashley And we can identify those and label them for what they are and push them aside. And I think that's been the greatest thing for me is like, wait, I didn't even know these were lies in my head. I just thought those were I thought it was truth. I thought that, like, if you didn't have skinny, long legs, you can't.

00;32;51;15 - 00;32;51;29 Seth Wear shorts.

00;32;51;29 - 00;33;13;12 Ashley To wear shorts. Yeah. Like and and the funny thing is, is like, no one ever told me that I didn't have, like, any friends or family. That was like, oh, you should not wear shorts. It was just something in my head because what I see on TV, what I see in magazines, what I see in Instagram tells me differently.

00;33;13;15 - 00;33;14;07 Stephanie Absolutely.

00;33;14;11 - 00;33;33;17 Ashley And so, yeah, I think identifying those things we can in return like identify what are the things that like actually make me beautiful. And it's so internal. It has actually very little to do with external things. So that was like my rant.

00;33;33;20 - 00;33;56;28 Stephanie I love it. I was here for Amen. I mean I've been down that same road. you know I do have longer legs, but you know, I've had spider rings on my legs since I was at least a teenager or sooner. And, you know, they they haven't gotten better. And so for a long time, you know, that or putting on weight and then not losing it or any of that.

00;33;56;28 - 00;34;17;10 Stephanie I'm like, oh, I really you know, I'm just embarrassed. I can't go out and short. So, you know, I'd bear the heat and pants until finally I was like, yeah, who cares? And some of it, I will say is my husband is very good at validating who I am. And then just telling me that, you know, the external part of me is just the cherry on top of who I am.

00;34;17;13 - 00;34;23;05 Seth You're talking about her husband, right? Yeah. I just wanted to make sure that I was back in the narrative.

00;34;23;07 - 00;34;26;27 Ashley I'm still in this, right? Oh, I'm it.

00;34;27;02 - 00;34;33;11 Seth When we hold the Forever Young Women's Conference. This woman speaking.

00;34;33;15 - 00;34;34;04 Stephanie Heck, yeah.

00;34;34;04 - 00;34;35;03 Seth You just copy?

00;34;35;04 - 00;34;35;25 Ashley I don't know.

00;34;35;26 - 00;34;46;06 Seth You just got the first keynote. The first half of our keynote from Ashley Shepherd. Oh, my goodness. I was sitting on the edge of my seat saying, wow.

00;34;46;09 - 00;34;53;27 Stephanie Well, now you know why. Like, anytime I hear I remember going to girls camp and being like, I need to be her friend.

00;34;54;00 - 00;34;55;06 Ashley That was so long ago.

00;34;55;07 - 00;35;07;09 Stephanie It was. I was just blown away by who you are and what you were sharing. And I'm like, every girl needs to hear this. Every woman needs to hear this and feel, you know, just your love and how genuine you are.

00;35;07;14 - 00;35;51;17 Ashley I think, like another important note on that same thing is like, it's important for women to know that having confidence doesn't eliminate insecurity, because I am a very confident person and I think people are like, oh, well, nothing's wrong with her. She has it all together all the time. And I think it's really important that as we develop confidence that it also doesn't eliminate insecurity, that there is both, you know, because, you know, people that are insecure and they have insecurities, and then you have people that are confident and people look at them and say, well, they don't have any insecurities.

00;35;51;17 - 00;36;06;00 Ashley And it's like, no, they graduated. That's not true. Yeah. That's not it's actually not true. They're just working. You know, they have found an inner peace with like, okay, I'm okay with who I am. But I would still like to change the system. This.

00;36;06;02 - 00;36;07;10 Stephanie Yes. Absolutely.

00;36;07;10 - 00;36;09;29 Ashley Yeah. Confidence doesn't eliminate insecurity.

00;36;10;01 - 00;36;40;19 Stephanie I love that. So recently I was listening I think it was a podcast. And this person was talking about, some statistics on if you were to sit down a group of women and talk to them about loving themselves and ask them who truly loves themselves right now, do you love who you are? And I can't remember the exact percentage, but it was, I want to say between 70 or 80% would say no.

00;36;40;22 - 00;36;51;26 Stephanie And I was like, oh my goodness, I've been on such a healing journey. And and how I, I knew that was because immediately I was like, I love myself. And I was like, whoa.

00;36;51;28 - 00;36;55;20 Ashley This is awesome. Yeah, yeah.

00;36;55;22 - 00;37;04;04 Stephanie But then it also made me really sad, you know, to think about all those women and, made me want to go out and, you know.

00;37;04;06 - 00;37;19;28 Seth Record another podcast and that. And that's where we invited Ashley Shepherd. You know, we're like, hey, we need who's that next guest? And literally Steph's like, I know who we can call. Oh this call Ashley Shepherd.

00;37;20;01 - 00;37;47;24 Ashley Yes. definitely. Yeah, I wish they would. And maybe they did, but I wish they would have asked a deeper question to those women. Like, do you do you like your physical self, emotional self? And do you like your internal self? Those are very different. I think I think it would people. Yeah. If people were say like, oh well I am an I am a nice person.

00;37;47;26 - 00;38;09;26 Ashley I am a kind person, I am a giving person, whatever, you know, whatever those qualities are. If people were able to like, express who they are. I think the rate actually would have been higher. See, but that's not women. Wow. What women are taught, they're taught that if they don't look a certain way they can't be loved.

00;38;09;28 - 00;38;13;21 Ashley That love's conditional. And we've got to change that.

00;38;13;23 - 00;38;15;01 Stephanie Yeah definitely.

00;38;15;08 - 00;38;15;16 Ashley Yeah.

00;38;15;17 - 00;38;42;03 Seth Well and it's the global answer right. The global answers the one answer. Right. And because I'm not meeting all of these other things externally. and again it's this is, this is so rooted in, in in habit in in repeated environment in history. Meaning your own personal history. Right. and, and and I'll say the subconscious. Right.

00;38;42;03 - 00;39;07;21 Seth Which that baseline program that's, that's running based on all of that, that experience and program we we've received. Yeah. If we don't piece those out and identify where we're where we feel we're strong and maybe where we don't, then we give one global answer, which is, no, I don't love myself because so-and-so, because so-and-so that I live with my partner, my husband, or whatever.

00;39;07;23 - 00;39;28;26 Seth Right? My family, my parents. They haven't accepted me. And so how can I accept myself? And yeah, think one of the beautiful things you're bringing to this conversation, Ashley, is, is getting a little vulnerable with us and showing. Listen, I remember when you when you said several months ago and I had forgotten that you actually sold your amazing catering business.

00;39;28;28 - 00;39;36;25 Seth You sold it like, everything. Like the building that that, like, that's one of the coolest buildings. Most beautiful.

00;39;37;01 - 00;39;37;20 Stephanie Gorgeous.

00;39;37;20 - 00;39;42;04 Seth Buildings. Like, not not to mention the create the.

00;39;42;04 - 00;39;49;16 Ashley I still own the building. Okay. I didn't sell that, but I, And now it's stayed that state. It's beautiful.

00;39;49;23 - 00;39;55;28 Seth But you sold. You sold the inner workings. At least temporary. At least currently for for your catering business.

00;39;56;00 - 00;40;25;19 Ashley Yes. Yes. So going back to the global thing. and how how it starts in our home is you think of the ways that our parents were taught and our grandparents were taught, and how it bleeds through these generations. it's that hurt people. Hurt people. And so when you already have a sick person, emotionally or a hurt person emotionally, they tend to hurt others emotionally.

00;40;25;21 - 00;40;49;24 Ashley whether that's lack of education or lack of change, whatever you want to say, it is what it is. And I think the greatest lie that has ever been told to a human is that they don't deserve to be happy. And I think anyone who has ever walked this earth has experienced what that feeling is like. That I.

00;40;49;25 - 00;41;16;06 Ashley I don't deserve happiness. And and so then we start to question all of these things around us. And it makes me think of a time when we had built these companies to a place that, like, I actually didn't even know was possible. And I remember just feeling like I don't deserve any of this. I'm not a good person.

00;41;16;08 - 00;41;51;07 Ashley I don't deserve wealth. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve success. Like this is meant for everybody else. But I'm not supposed to have this. You know, I think the challenging piece of that is then we start to shame everything around us. And I was so good, you guys. I was a pro at shaming the business. I would be like, oh, but like, yeah, the when someone would be like, hey, you know, I was business, I was catering, I'd be like, oh, it's going good.

00;41;51;07 - 00;42;14;29 Ashley But I don't know, like we make a lot of mistakes. So we, we messed up on that last wedding last week. And like it's like I had to downplay the business. I would shame the business because if I was proud of it and I and I expressed how great it was doing, then somehow, you know it. I don't know, like, it's just weird.

00;42;15;02 - 00;42;17;04 Seth You weren't worthy. You didn't feel worthy.

00;42;17;06 - 00;42;48;24 Ashley Wow. I wasn't worthy to have a good business. And so I always would just like point out all the flaws, you know, every business has flaws. And so it's I was like oh but this, oh but that, oh but this. So I did a lot of research actually on imposter syndrome. And what's really interesting about it was it was actually created and became a thing because of women, because of women entrepreneurs, and because they were really fighting to fit in a man's world.

00;42;48;26 - 00;43;07;07 Ashley And so they weren't ever going to be as good as a man. And so they would have these, like, self shaming episodes where they were never going to be good enough. They didn't deserve it. They weren't worthy of success. You know, all these things. And then they find research that, you know, is like, wait, this isn't just actually women.

00;43;07;07 - 00;43;32;22 Ashley This happens in men too. And so now it's not focus just on women, but it happens, you know, in men and women and I it does it goes back to this, like deeply rooted lie that is told to all humans on this earth that we don't deserve to be happy in whatever it is. Some people, you know, I'm in the business world and so that's why it showed up for me in a business sense.

00;43;32;25 - 00;44;02;19 Ashley But I know so many women who thrive and are incredible stay at home mothers who think like, I don't deserve six healthy children. I don't deserve to be able to stay home with my children while my husband goes to work. Like imposter syndrome can show up in so many aspects of our lives. And what they're deeply rooted cause, like I said, is, is this feeling of were unworthy of happiness.

00;44;02;21 - 00;44;35;18 Ashley And that is the biggest freaking lie ever told. But if we can stay trapped in that state, then we can't progress because we just go in this vicious cycle of just shame, doubt, fear, shame, doubt, fear and like we can't ever escape it. And so we can't ever experience you know, like true happiness. And so it's been yeah it's been like a learning experience.

00;44;35;18 - 00;45;00;22 Ashley But I've realized that pain and joy are meant to coexist. They really are. And they don't contradict each other. They complement each other. And they were designed that way. I think they were divinely they were divinely created that way for us to navigate those emotions. So yeah. Have you ever experienced that set.

00;45;00;24 - 00;45;02;04 Seth Imposter syndrome or being.

00;45;02;04 - 00;45;04;01 Ashley Authentic.

00;45;04;04 - 00;45;06;18 Stephanie I mean either either.

00;45;06;20 - 00;45;10;07 Seth Well, we we we said that something was going to be revealed here.

00;45;10;08 - 00;45;11;19 Stephanie I know I'm getting nervous.

00;45;11;19 - 00;45;13;29 Seth Yeah, I think you take that one first.

00;45;14;01 - 00;45;36;12 Ashley Yeah. Like, have you ever felt imposter syndrome where you were like, I'm not worthy or deserving of something so good? Whatever it is, like, it's not always associated with money and success. It's associated with anything that just brings you so much fulfillment and love and joy that you're like, wait, I can't love this too much because something bad's going to happen.

00;45;36;12 - 00;45;38;11 Ashley It's going to get ripped away from me.

00;45;38;13 - 00;46;06;13 Stephanie Oh yeah, I definitely have felt that before. You know, even honestly, even just I shouldn't say just because it's not just but even this beautiful marriage that we have, you know, for a long time and honestly, here and there, sometimes that might slip in, you know, it's like, yeah, looking at you, I like, started to, like, get all choked up, you know, just even when I was working with a therapist, I think like four years ago and, I was like, why do I have such a fear of death?

00;46;06;15 - 00;46;25;15 Stephanie And he brought up a couple things. And one of them was, because your marriage is so good that now you don't want that to end. You don't want to be separated from your spouse. And I was like, oh my goodness, I think that could really be it. You know, I don't know if it's the whole thing, but but a huge part of it.

00;46;25;18 - 00;46;43;24 Stephanie and so, you know, there have been times where I have felt like, wow, he's so good to me. He's so good to me. What have I done to deserve this? You know, and yeah, I've had to come to a place that. Well, I deserve it because of who I am. Because God loves me and he, you know, he brought us together.

00;46;43;24 - 00;46;52;09 Stephanie And this is a beautiful gift from God that I need to cherish and not question. so that's one example.

00;46;52;12 - 00;47;08;29 Ashley Oh, I love that. That's so beautiful. But that's real. So many women can relate to that. And experience that same that some that same like thief, that thief that just comes into the night and wants to steal the joy. Yeah.

00;47;08;29 - 00;47;42;03 Seth So there's the scripture. Men and women are they exist that they might have joy, joy, period. Like that. Yeah. That is is powerful. And I love the way that you put this, Ashley. Like the biggest flipping lie it was ever told, right, is that you know that I don't deserve happiness. And, you know, I remember I remember I've always been pretty ambitious.

00;47;42;05 - 00;48;04;08 Seth but at the same time, playing that that that game and that internal game inside where like, am I really worthy, though, right? Like, do I do I, am I really enough? Am I worthy of this? Am I good enough? I grew up, I was kind of a late bloomer, so I kind of never. I was never the kid walking around campus who everybody's like.

00;48;04;10 - 00;48;13;07 Seth Like that. Look at that stud, right? They were like, he's a nice boy.

00;48;13;09 - 00;48;18;16 Ashley He's nice. He's. We can late date. Yeah, we can relate.

00;48;18;19 - 00;48;26;19 Seth he's. Oh. He's cute. He's a cute, funny boy. but I like, like being confident in my masculinity. Really was.

00;48;26;20 - 00;48;27;29 Ashley Oh my.

00;48;28;01 - 00;48;59;27 Seth Goodness. Like a. Yeah, like like. I think I finally learned that last week. but, I remember building, building our business. I remember years ago going to the bank with the largest deposit I had ever made, and it was multiples of, you know, in a month. You know, I received this check this month of what I used to make in a year.

00;48;59;29 - 00;49;31;01 Seth And it was a great feeling, by the way. I remember going to the bank and depositing that and feeling like, wow, that's amazing. And and it was well earned. It was deserved and earned. and the very it was like the best, like one of the best, like, reward days in my, in my entrepreneurial career. Worst day the next day because.

00;49;31;04 - 00;49;32;06 Ashley Yeah.

00;49;32;09 - 00;49;59;07 Seth Fear crept in. Like, what if I lose this? What if I lose? It's like, okay, what? What if, by the way. Okay, great. Today I can say, damn it, I'm going to go build it again, right? You know, like, I'm like like I know who I am. I am worthy of this. But at that day and boy, that was that was 15 plus years ago.

00;49;59;09 - 00;50;42;19 Seth 17, 15, 17, 16 years ago. Wow. That next day was really tough because I was full of fear. What if I lose this because I'm not worthy? Right. I, you know, I just I just got here, and so, I mean, yeah, that is the heart of why we do this show is this message, in fact, one of our recent shows, we met with an incredible entrepreneur and, and, and we had such an alignment with her because in our business, literally, I mean, we work with entrepreneurial women all over the world, and we even we have a business app and coaching on this app where you dial in to self affirmations, right?

00;50;42;19 - 00;50;54;03 Seth And, and you listen to these statements about yourself and then and then Karen Hamlin sends us this little, this little placard. Sorry, my putting in front of me last time, I.

00;50;54;03 - 00;50;55;01 Ashley Just this time your.

00;50;55;03 - 00;51;24;01 Seth Face. But I'm just going to read these because these are at the heart, Ashley, of of exactly what you're talking about, you know, and she has an entire self-expression, artistic approach to therapy, anxiety, etc. people in hospice care. And she, along with an entire kit, she sends them this placard, and it says, I am enough, I am strong, I can do this.

00;51;24;07 - 00;51;38;02 Seth I am proud of who I am. I am beautiful inside and out. I choose to see the positive. I am grateful for the gifts in my life. I achieve my goals. I don't want to forget. Do you want to?

00;51;38;04 - 00;51;53;20 Stephanie I am compassionate and creative. I deserve peace, I am a gift, I am confident, I am blessed, I follow my heart. I look after myself. Creativity flows through me with ease.

00;51;53;23 - 00;52;25;05 Ashley Oh, I love that. And in one of the I have like affirmations, you know, for myself. And in terms of the imposter syndrome, for like 30 days straight, I would wake up and I would say in the mirror, I am meant to receive good things. And women are such givers. They are. They are nature. That's our nature. And so we give, give, give, give, give to, you know, our partners and to children if we have them.

00;52;25;05 - 00;52;50;20 Ashley If not, we give to our jobs. Sometimes we give to both, you know, to our friends, to our neighbors, to our community, you know, to our parents and our siblings. And give, give, give, give, give and I think one of those I that's what I love about affirmation specifically for women is it gives to women. when you say affirmation, it is giving to yourself, nobody else.

00;52;50;20 - 00;53;24;02 Ashley You're not saying Seth is creative. Seth is loving and kind. And I'm not saying you're not. I'm just saying that when we say these affirmations, they become a gift to ourselves. And it is that moment or that, you know, five minutes of no, I am these things. I am giving light to myself. and that was the biggest one for me, was I am meant to receive good things.

00;53;24;05 - 00;53;53;21 Ashley And all of those things that you read are good things, like I am meant for all of those things. And so I love the I love positive affirmations. Michael Phelps, I don't know if you've seen this. Have you seen his thing on like Instagram? He was interviewed and, he said, if I could tell people only one thing as they're learning to be incredible athletes, he said something that changed the way that I viewed myself was a coach or a trainer.

00;53;53;21 - 00;54;31;25 Ashley I don't know who it was, but they told him that every time you walk through a doorway, say one positive affirmation about yourself. And he said, do you know how many doorways you walk through a day? And so, I mean, he is, you know, undeniable, the greatest swimmer that's ever lived so far. And so to hear, just like a very simple thing that can train our brains and our minds to think in a way that is so positive about ourselves, like I've tried it ever since then, I'm like, okay, I walk through a doorway, I am this, I am that, you know?

00;54;31;27 - 00;54;48;05 Ashley And it is incredible that, like you do, walk through a lot of doorways in a day. And so it's a lot of positive things that are coming through that brain. So yeah, yeah, that's one thing for the listeners. Every time you go through a doorway, Michael Phelps, let's say a positive affirmation.

00;54;48;07 - 00;55;07;23 Seth That's good. Well, and I love I love your affirmation. Well, we do a lot of affirmations. I mean, Steph, Steph trained on this when we were in Asia, last, last year to hundreds of women. and it was emotional. It was powerful to see, you know, after her keynote and her training, the discussions, you know, that's that's where the good stuff is.

00;55;07;23 - 00;55;25;10 Seth It's always the conversations afterward. But. Yeah. I've never heard you heard it put the way that you put it. And I think that's important part of what's so powerful I am meant to receive good things. Wow. That's that's on my that's on my. Maybe I just needed that today.

00;55;25;12 - 00;55;25;23 Ashley

00;55;25;28 - 00;55;29;22 Stephanie That's funny. I was thinking the same thing, like, oh, I'm going to write that down.

00;55;29;24 - 00;56;02;24 Seth What is so powerful about that is, is that you are giving to yourself. It's wonderful. It's absolutely wonderful to, you know, to have affirmations and feedback from other people. But part of the reasons that we have so many of these problems is because as we give up the driver's seat to our mind and our subconscious, to the programs, to the history, to our parents or whoever, right, or the bullies in our life, right?

00;56;02;24 - 00;56;29;16 Seth The mean girls. Right. And just just the act of making that affirmation is taking the driver's seat for accepting your identity, who you are and what you're going to do about it. That's that's probably it's almost I don't want to say it doesn't matter what you say, but that's important. But the act of taking that driver's seat in your mind, I am meant for good things.

00;56;29;22 - 00;56;37;14 Seth Say that women. Women say that if that with that one resonates with you this week, every time you walk through a door, say that.

00;56;37;14 - 00;56;38;07 Ashley One.

00;56;38;10 - 00;56;40;18 Stephanie Well, something else that it made me think of was.

00;56;40;21 - 00;56;41;13 Ashley

00;56;42;08 - 00;56;48;07 Stephanie I feel like it can be, pretty hard for women to receive.

00;56;48;09 - 00;56;49;25 Ashley To accept. Yeah.

00;56;49;28 - 00;56;57;16 Stephanie And so that's such good training on how to receive and accept from others to.

00;56;57;18 - 00;57;02;16 Ashley Yeah. Yep, yep. For sure for sure. So yeah.

00;57;02;18 - 00;57;30;12 Stephanie Yeah. Have you ever thought about doing, I don't know. I'm like my mind is like going everywhere because you have so much, wisdom. And like I've said, you know, so much love and being so genuine and rooted in Jesus that I'm like, man, like women and girls all over the world should hear you. So, you know, I'm grateful that you're on this podcast to do that.

00;57;30;14 - 00;57;37;01 Stephanie But have you ever thought about doing, you know, like a mother daughter retreats and teaching or.

00;57;37;02 - 00;58;18;12 Ashley I know you know anything, I don't know, I, you know, I don't know, I'm not like, opposed to anything. I think my biggest thing is I always want to be real. and I always want people to know that, like, there's so much more to who anybody is than what you see. and so wherever I can advocate for that, that's where I'll be, because I've never met a person who I don't like when I really get to know who they are.

00;58;18;14 - 00;58;28;28 Ashley And I think anyone would say that if they knew people and they knew their story and they knew why they were the way they were.

00;58;29;01 - 00;58;29;16 Stephanie Yes.

00;58;29;16 - 00;58;54;01 Ashley And yeah, that's, that's really the message is everybody is capable of being loved. and either we put on a hard shell which the majority of us do. Right. We, we have all these scars and we cover em up, and we make sure that no one can see any of the damage that's ever been done to this person.

00;58;54;03 - 00;59;22;22 Ashley And we push people away and we say, I will love you from a distance. that's not real connection. Real connection is like showing who we really are. And saying I'm not perfect and I make mistakes and I fail and I'm continuing to learn and I'm continuing to grow and I'm continuing to like try to love my higher power whatever that looks like in someone's life.

00;59;22;25 - 00;59;33;14 Ashley And yeah I will always be an advocate for that. And so wherever that path takes me I'm there I'm there for it. Girl.

00;59;33;17 - 00;59;43;25 Stephanie Well if you ever want to, you know, collaborate and come up with something I would. It's always been a dream of mine to do little retreats or something.

00;59;43;28 - 00;59;45;01 Ashley Yeah, that would be fun.

00;59;45;04 - 01;00;15;10 Stephanie It would be a lot of fun doing that for you. Yeah. You know, I have, a bunch of daughters. I feel like just watching them grow up right now. Like, my heart is really set on these girls. And just trying to find all that I can to help, you know, build our village. And also to build our tools so that they can, you know, have the most support and love and, yeah, just experience to help them be successful in life.

01;00;15;10 - 01;00;16;00 Stephanie So I'm.

01;00;16;02 - 01;00;18;05 Seth Speaking of affirmations like.

01;00;18;12 - 01;00;20;27 Stephanie I can't wait to hear what you're going to say.

01;00;20;29 - 01;00;38;21 Seth I was about to say epic fail, dad. no, but but I was like, okay, I gotta go. Like, we're in a show, girls. You know, I we have a little six year old who can't sleep. I just can't go to sleep. I just can't go to sleep. So of course, we tried the, let's say positive things about ourselves.

01;00;38;21 - 01;00;56;12 Seth I can, but I can't go to that. That's how it ended. And, I said, okay, well, yeah. And then if you say you can, what's going to happen? Yeah. but what if I can't do it? By the time you get up, you come back to tuck me. And I said, well, then I'll be awake when you.

01;00;56;14 - 01;00;58;23 Seth Then you'll be awake when I come in and we'll be happy about it. So.

01;00;58;24 - 01;01;01;04 Ashley Yeah. Oh, okay.

01;01;01;07 - 01;01;05;26 Seth Don't sweat it. Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff, baby.

01;01;05;29 - 01;01;07;02 Ashley

01;01;07;05 - 01;01;11;04 Stephanie Ashley, what are you most passionate about right now? And what are you doing about it?

01;01;11;06 - 01;01;46;16 Ashley You know, I'm most passionate about so I've never been a stay at home mother, and, I've worked full time for 13 years, and, kind of walking away from some larger companies has allowed me to be home. And, what I'm really passionate about right now is building my children's confidence and doing it in ways that teach my children that they don't need to be somebody else to fit in.

01;01;46;16 - 01;02;13;19 Ashley They don't need to be somebody else to be like, they don't need to be somebody else, you know, to have confidence, like whatever that looks like. And I'm realizing that all these things that I've learned through business, through schooling, through whatever I thought would like they left, I thought they left when my business left. And what I'm learning is I've taken all those tools that I've learned, and now I'm implementing them into a family environment.

01;02;13;21 - 01;02;29;08 Ashley And it's been the most beautiful thing. Like, my kids think I'm kind of cool sometimes, like, wait, you know that mom, you know how to do this, this and this? Or like, my oldest son is like, I really want to start this. And I'm like, well, then you need to come up with a business plan. Well, what's a business plan?

01;02;29;08 - 01;02;48;10 Ashley Oh, well, you're going to show me this, this and this. You're going to tell me, you know, how much of an investment, what's going to be my ROI, this and this. And he's like, whoa, you know this? I'm like, well, what do you think? You know, like, so it's really cool to kind of spend this time like teaching them.

01;02;48;10 - 01;03;15;20 Ashley I feel like I'm building, like just beautiful, beautiful people in a way that makes sense to me. and I haven't had that opportunity. And, Yeah, I'm really passionate about it for right now. And and it's going to be a season. Like the selfish version of me loves business, I love it, I love it, and I'm still in it.

01;03;15;20 - 01;03;17;17 Ashley I'm not like all the way out. She owns like.

01;03;17;22 - 01;03;18;16 Seth Stokes.

01;03;18;16 - 01;03;40;06 Ashley She owns the building like, so I'm not like completely out of it, but like to be home day to day. that's hard if you never if you like being a full time worker and you come home. Oh, man. That's hard. but I yeah, I feel like I'm utilizing those skills in a different way, and it's just for a season.

01;03;40;09 - 01;04;03;21 Ashley it's going to be the short season and then it's going to be gone. And I just, I want to cherish these moments, and I want to just build people that when they go out into the world, man, they've got the confidence to beat whatever tries to thrash them, tries to bring them down. And so yeah, that's that's really what I'm most passionate about right now.

01;04;03;28 - 01;04;10;10 Ashley And weddings obviously I own the event center. I am passionate about that. So yeah.

01;04;10;12 - 01;04;17;02 Seth That feistiness I'm not out of business. I own the building, folks.

01;04;17;05 - 01;04;21;09 Ashley who?

01;04;21;11 - 01;04;22;14 Seth I thought you were going to say I.

01;04;22;14 - 01;04;57;10 Stephanie Was going to, but then I saw just just talking about, you know, building up children made me think of, you know, we've talked about, imposter syndrome or body image, those types of things. And I think one of the biggest things that helped me with the body image issue was hearing somebody say, you know, don't don't not be in the picture, you know, just because the way you look like your kids want you in your pictures, they're not going to look at the picture and pick you apart.

01;04;57;10 - 01;05;20;00 Stephanie They're going to be like, where's mom? you know, and I'm like, oh my goodness, do I do that? Okay. Yeah. Sometimes, you know, I feel like I might, especially if I'm in a bathing suit or, you know, shorts or something like that. And yeah, it's really helped me to put myself in their perspective of what they truly want and what they really care about.

01;05;20;00 - 01;05;20;27 Seth What they value.

01;05;20;27 - 01;05;21;28 Ashley Which is.

01;05;22;01 - 01;05;24;18 Stephanie Who am I, you know.

01;05;24;21 - 01;05;27;29 Ashley Mom, your mom, and that's who they love. Yes.

01;05;28;02 - 01;05;37;05 Stephanie Not just mom. you know, hopefully I'm security. Hopefully I'm their friends. You know, like a safe place.

01;05;37;05 - 01;05;40;09 Ashley Yes. Safe place.

01;05;40;12 - 01;06;01;02 Stephanie and that's really helped me to have a different perspective. that body image isn't everything. And also, it made me think of. Am I going to pass this down to my child? And if it's not something that I want to pass down to my child, and I need to be a better role model of not doing it.

01;06;01;04 - 01;06;04;07 Ashley Yeah. Who saying my sister has a role with her kids. Oh go ahead.

01;06;04;08 - 01;06;06;09 Seth No, no. Go ahead. Ashley.

01;06;06;11 - 01;06;29;02 Ashley Oh, they're saying my sister has a rule with her kids that I don't. I can't remember where she learned, but she said, we're not allowed to say something to somebody if they can't change it in 30s. and I think that's so powerful. Yeah. So if you have, like, your zipper down, I could say stuff your your zipper's down.

01;06;29;05 - 01;06;39;07 Ashley Yes. Like you can change that in 30s. but to say something unkind, you know, like, oh, you know, whatever it is, we can think of all the unkind things.

01;06;39;10 - 01;06;40;02 Seth

01;06;40;02 - 01;06;44;21 Ashley You're they're not allowed to say yes. No. Like.

01;06;44;23 - 01;06;45;12 Seth No. I'm thinking.

01;06;45;12 - 01;06;52;22 Ashley About that. Yeah. Wow. It's so true, though. Think of how many times kids I'm thinking of, like, raising kids that are kind of.

01;06;52;23 - 01;06;53;26 Seth That's why I said that.

01;06;53;28 - 01;07;21;28 Ashley And it's like, hey, you don't tell someone like, you're ugly, you're fat. You have gross teased you, you know, whatever ugly hair, whatever it is. Right? Like they can't change that in 30s it should never be said. and I think that's an awesome lesson that I feel like my, my sister has taught me and my children that like, wait, you don't say that.

01;07;22;00 - 01;07;31;05 Ashley It's not okay. They can't change that about themselves. So why would you even point that out? so, that's a good that's a good rule for kids. Yeah.

01;07;31;06 - 01;07;33;01 Seth Do you know how many adults?

01;07;33;04 - 01;07;39;23 Ashley Not just kids that adults, actually. Yeah. Olivia. Amen to that stuff. You're right. Yeah.

01;07;39;25 - 01;07;59;08 Seth So who who are some of the women who are some of the women in in your life that have made a strong impression in your developing into this just incredibly strong woman yourself?

01;07;59;10 - 01;08;05;10 Ashley I do come from a strong line of opinionated women.

01;08;05;12 - 01;08;06;19 Seth That be true.

01;08;06;22 - 01;08;27;02 Ashley To be true all you know, so it is definitely like it is in my DNA. I will tell you that I have an incredible mother. I had incredible grandmothers and great grandmothers. Like it just it runs in my blood. and so obviously I have to I have to give credit where credit is due. It was bred into me.

01;08;27;09 - 01;08;54;15 Ashley It was also taught, you know, but as I, as I've like, grown up and matured, I feel like I've had women who are opposite of me who have actually taught me the most about myself. Because when you're a red personality, you're you love reds and you're around reds and reds understand you. And and for the most part, you don't have emotion.

01;08;54;15 - 01;09;05;08 Ashley And you just say things like they are and you're you're forward and you're like, let's get from A to B, like, tell me what to do. Let's go snap my fingers. We're moving forward, you know?

01;09;05;11 - 01;09;07;09 Seth Come on folks, come on.

01;09;07;12 - 01;09;37;13 Ashley What? Red personalities can be abrasive. They can be self-centered. They can be, you know, prideful like. And I'm like, I'm not even saying a red personality is bad. I'm a red personality. I love red personalities. but I navigate life with blue personalities, which, my, all of my closest friends, my best friends in life, they are all blue personalities, if that's a coincidence, I don't know.

01;09;37;13 - 01;10;15;21 Ashley But that's the type of people that I'm attracted to. And, you know, blue personalities are driven by intimacy. They're driven by connection, closeness. They really value things that are most important. I married a blue personality, and, blue personalities keep me grounded. They keep me centered on the things that are most important. And because I have surrounded myself with those type of people, they help me be the best red version of myself.

01;10;15;23 - 01;10;42;23 Ashley because I'm able to see life in different perspectives. The way that my brain would think of something and the way that somebody else is would it helps me like, yeah, it helps me just be grounded in who I want to be. And yeah, I don't know that one of the biggest influences in my life is, Tiffany beause I don't know if you know her.

01;10;42;25 - 01;11;02;26 Ashley but she she was someone that completely changed my life. And we moved to Lake Shore, and I love it here. And I think it's a great community. it's it is taken time for me to love other things I still absolutely don't like. But don't get me started on that.

01;11;02;26 - 01;11;09;17 Seth But let's actually, I kind of want to go. I want to go down that road. We can edit that out.

01;11;09;19 - 01;11;32;04 Ashley and I just feel like when I got here, it was assumed that we would just fit in and that people would love us and people would visit us. And, you know, we were shepherds and we were just going to be taken care of and we didn't need help or whatever it was. Right. Like, that's just like the communal understanding.

01;11;32;04 - 01;11;53;08 Ashley If you lived, if you moved to Lakeshore and you're a shepherd. And I just remember like those first, like, I don't know, 18 months being like, this is where my husband wanted to like, live and die. And I hadn't lived on a farm. You might want to edit this out. I don't know, actually, I don't care. It's the truth.

01;11;53;08 - 01;11;54;29 Ashley It's how I feel. It's. It's real.

01;11;55;01 - 01;11;58;21 Seth Yeah. This is the rebel in her. She's going to have her be like, this is. Yeah.

01;11;58;21 - 01;11;59;29 Ashley It's like, oh, goodness.

01;11;59;29 - 01;12;05;03 Stephanie It's it's not not just necessarily the rebel. It's just being genuine. It's just.

01;12;05;03 - 01;12;05;19 Ashley My truth.

01;12;05;19 - 01;12;06;02 Stephanie And really.

01;12;06;03 - 01;12;30;11 Ashley Yeah, it's just my opinion. Yeah. And so, And no one did any. Let me let me back up. No one has done anything that's been, like hurtful. Like it was. It was more just like this understanding that, you know, we were supposed to be fine and dandy here. And, the day that we moved into Lake Shore, I lost our fourth baby, and, no one knew.

01;12;30;14 - 01;12;56;01 Ashley And so I was just here and I didn't, like, really know who to call or who to turn to or anything. My in-laws are in, like the greatest in-laws you could ever ask for. So I had them, but not like a friend. And I remember Tiffany Buse randomly came to my house. I didn't even know her like I had seen her at church and was like, oh, what a sweet, nice lady.

01;12;56;01 - 01;13;12;00 Ashley But like, had never met her husband. And at the time I was like, he kind of like scared me. I wasn't quite sure like who he was because he's like this big broad guy, you know? So I was like, I don't really know these people, but I was attracted to her. Like something about.

01;13;12;00 - 01;13;12;19 Stephanie Her.

01;13;12;19 - 01;13;35;09 Ashley I felt safe and felt like just really comforting. And long story short, she showed up at my house one day and was like, hey, I know that, like, you might need help here. Could I just take your. I had three little kids at the time. Can I take your little kids like, so you could just have a minute or whatever and I was like, well, you're a stranger, but you know what?

01;13;35;09 - 01;13;56;13 Ashley Sure. Take my kids like, I think I was so desperate that, like, I just needed somebody. And that would have been, let's see the baby. Let's see. Let's. She would have let her. I'm trying to think it was just the 4th of July. So hold bear nine. So that was nine years ago. So that would have been. Yeah, nine years ago.

01;13;56;15 - 01;14;28;19 Ashley And from that day on, her and her husband Chad have been, I would, I dare say, besides my parents and my in-laws, like, oh, they might be the most influential people in my life. Like they have shaped a big portion of just who I am. And and Tiffany is. She just does all the things that I want to be like.

01;14;28;19 - 01;14;58;15 Ashley She is everything that I want to be. She is so selfless. She thinks of others. She wants to do what's right. She follows like these promptings from the spirit so beautifully, like she's just everything that is so opposite of what I thought. I was, that she's helped me realize that, like, I'm those things to like she she still even to this day, she's like, Ashley, stop saying that you're that you're not that you're this, this and this.

01;14;58;15 - 01;15;12;02 Ashley And so yeah, I think besides my family because of course they influence me and I love them dearly. But I would say it's got to be Tiffany because for me, well, yeah, she's a beautiful soul.

01;15;12;05 - 01;15;21;13 Stephanie Well, I agree with her. I think you are all of those things. So. So I was thinking while you were saying it, I'm like, well, I thought she.

01;15;21;13 - 01;15;26;00 Ashley Was. Oh.

01;15;26;02 - 01;15;40;01 Seth I felt like we just we got a side of of Ashley that I don't say I've never seen, but we got, we got, we got the, we got the full benefit of the, of the package. Right. Like, like we've been at the women's conference and like.

01;15;40;04 - 01;15;44;00 Ashley Wow it's true. So you guys are awesome.

01;15;44;02 - 01;16;05;22 Stephanie So you say you're red and I, I love how positive you are about being red because a lot of times at least, you know, in my life that I've seen people I've been around, it's not necessarily a positive thing. Even Red's thinking, no, I'm not a red, because that's not a good thing. In reality, you know, a healthy red is absolutely amazing.

01;16;05;24 - 01;16;06;17 Stephanie

01;16;06;20 - 01;16;08;10 Ashley The world wouldn't survive without red.

01;16;08;10 - 01;16;10;10 Stephanie Oh. Absolutely not.

01;16;10;12 - 01;16;18;11 Ashley Absolutely wouldn't like. And so it is a it can be a very beautiful thing. Yep. So I, I love it.

01;16;18;15 - 01;16;23;28 Stephanie What do you think your next dominant color personality is.

01;16;24;00 - 01;16;49;16 Ashley So yeah I already know actually the guy that. So Taylor Hartman developed the color code. And Taylor Hartman is actually a really good friend of mine really. And he was my therapist for two years. oh yeah. Yeah. He's an is incredible. Like the man is he is so gifted. He is so gifted. Yeah. So my next dominant color is yellow.

01;16;49;19 - 01;16;51;10 Stephanie I thought so.

01;16;51;13 - 01;16;57;25 Ashley I thought so I want to get things done, and then I need to go have fun. I think that's that's it.

01;16;57;27 - 01;17;06;29 Stephanie I think that's why I've always been attracted to you. And a friendship. Because I am full blown yellow and.

01;17;06;29 - 01;17;08;12 Ashley I'm like, you are, I love.

01;17;08;12 - 01;17;10;24 Stephanie Yellow, I am so just like I need more.

01;17;10;24 - 01;17;11;28 Ashley Yellow in my life.

01;17;11;28 - 01;17;13;02 Stephanie I need more yellow.

01;17;13;02 - 01;17;14;16 Ashley Friends because.

01;17;14;16 - 01;17;19;09 Stephanie I just yeah, I need to up my yellow game. It hasn't been very,

01;17;19;11 - 01;17;20;11 Ashley The last.

01;17;20;13 - 01;17;22;25 Stephanie Three and a half, four years.

01;17;22;27 - 01;17;28;19 Ashley Yes, I go yellow or I mean, I go red, yellow, blue, white. Yeah.

01;17;28;26 - 01;17;32;02 Seth Did you even score anything on white? Did you even score anything?

01;17;32;08 - 01;17;37;14 Ashley Actually, I have 2%.

01;17;37;17 - 01;17;38;09 Seth 2% white.

01;17;38;09 - 01;17;40;23 Ashley Yeah, I know 2%.

01;17;40;26 - 01;17;41;07 Seth What that.

01;17;41;07 - 01;17;49;07 Ashley Means. What that means is 50. I was 56% red. 56% red. Wow. That's awesome. I don't think I've.

01;17;49;07 - 01;17;56;05 Stephanie Done the percentage. I think I've just done, where you get like one marking or something like that, you know what I mean?

01;17;56;08 - 01;18;06;14 Ashley Well, yeah, I think you have to pay. I think you have to pay for, like, the full analysis. Yeah, but the, the one, the one test is free. That just tells you your dominant color. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01;18;06;19 - 01;18;21;23 Seth We realize that if you answered 25 questions and, and only one of them, only one of them, you were white, then that would be 4%. So out of 25 questions, you wouldn't have still answered anything. Right? I just wanted to point that out.

01;18;21;29 - 01;18;24;23 Stephanie There's more than 25. Yeah. And there's a lot.

01;18;24;24 - 01;18;27;05 Ashley Yeah, a lot of questions.

01;18;27;08 - 01;18;28;29 Stephanie yeah. I'm I'm yellow.

01;18;29;02 - 01;18;30;16 Ashley Blue.

01;18;30;18 - 01;18;43;27 Stephanie I think white and then red, but I have some red like really come out when I need it. I think that's part of the feistiness in me. Is that Red saying no no, no no no I'm bigger than you think.

01;18;43;29 - 01;19;03;09 Seth I get it. So true. That is so true. It's like we're just like walking down this, you know, just walking down this, this beautiful little winding path and then bam, she's like, this is who I am. raw.

01;19;03;11 - 01;19;09;27 Ashley Blue. Oh, man, that makes me think of it. You know, when just.

01;19;09;27 - 01;19;29;25 Stephanie Going through, you know, some experiences in life, not great experiences and then really having that lioness come out and me, which is so hilarious because I'm actually a Leo. but we were at a concert, and Joab County and a country concert.

01;19;29;25 - 01;19;32;24 Seth Was that, that was, rod Rodney Atkins, I.

01;19;32;24 - 01;19;33;08 Stephanie Think so.

01;19;33;08 - 01;19;33;25 Ashley Yeah.

01;19;33;27 - 01;19;53;11 Stephanie And I just remember sitting in the stand and I don't even remember what the conversation was that I had with Steph, but we had been married seven years at the time, so almost three years ago. And, Seth said something that I that was one of those moments where it's like, bam, you know, I said something back and he was like.

01;19;53;13 - 01;19;53;17 Ashley

01;19;53;22 - 01;19;56;23 Stephanie So, Stephanie, is this how the next seven years are.

01;19;56;23 - 01;20;09;07 Ashley Going to go? And I'm like, only if it has to. He's like, okay, okay, I know, I know where to go now. And he's like, okay, good to know.

01;20;09;09 - 01;20;12;12 Seth That's what we call a boundary.

01;20;12;15 - 01;20;20;16 Ashley Yes, yes, exactly, exactly. Oh, I love it. I love.

01;20;20;18 - 01;20;25;25 Stephanie Maybe that's partly why I've, I've learned to love myself is allowing the red to speak up when it needs to.

01;20;25;27 - 01;20;47;14 Ashley That's true. That is true. Developing like other colors is actually what makes us character. Definitely. If we were only who we were born like, if we were only those qualities, we would never learn. Like you wouldn't learn because it would be stuck in your own, you know, ways. But when we can learn and pull from those other, colors, that's when we're really character.

01;20;47;17 - 01;20;48;15 Ashley Yes.

01;20;48;17 - 01;20;59;12 Stephanie Well, and and just thinking back on my life, you know, being told, you know, I was super playful and fun and, you know, bubbly, like, all the time.

01;20;59;14 - 01;21;00;23 Ashley And, yeah.

01;21;00;25 - 01;21;23;01 Stephanie I'm having some people tell me to not be that I think. Yeah, I think that part of me and. Yeah. and so sometimes I'm still working through this with a coach of it's okay to be who I am. It's okay to be that fun, bubbly person, even if other people aren't being fun bubbly at the time, aren't accepting of that.

01;21;23;03 - 01;21;34;20 Stephanie Like if that's who I am and that's where I'm at, then I. I should be that. So for the longest time, I would take the color code test and it would come up. White was my dominant.

01;21;34;23 - 01;21;36;13 Ashley Oh, interesting. I don't think I've.

01;21;36;13 - 01;21;37;21 Seth Ever heard this story.

01;21;37;24 - 01;21;38;25 Stephanie Yeah, yeah.

01;21;38;28 - 01;21;40;17 Seth The big reveal right here.

01;21;40;17 - 01;21;44;26 Ashley Oh, there we go. So the deep dark secrets that we need to come out.

01;21;44;28 - 01;21;55;16 Stephanie But yeah, like, I, I, I think it's because of, just trauma going through trauma and then also having people tell me not to be who I am.

01;21;55;19 - 01;21;56;26 Ashley Yeah. Just retracting.

01;21;56;28 - 01;22;12;14 Stephanie Yes. And made me become more of a white personality when truly I, I, I wasn't I'm not that I don't pull white when I need it, but that wasn't my dominant color, even though I kept testing that for the longest time.

01;22;12;17 - 01;22;14;04 Ashley Yeah. No. Yeah.

01;22;14;06 - 01;22;42;13 Seth When I think that they challenge you, you wear your colors like it. For those who've read The Color Code by Tayler Hartman. Right. they can change because it's not necessary. Sometimes you're looking at your response to your environment, as opposed to the real deep inner personality that you have for.

01;22;42;13 - 01;22;43;18 Ashley Who you really are.

01;22;43;20 - 01;23;14;02 Seth Who you really are. And and again, it can change because of circumstances, because of maturity, because of different environment. But I think also in Steph you're talking about this when you live in a safe place, then you have the the you're allowed to get in the flow with who you are because it's accepted.

01;23;14;04 - 01;23;17;03 Stephanie Not just allowed. When you're in a safe environment you're in, you're.

01;23;17;03 - 01;23;17;23 Seth Encouraged.

01;23;17;27 - 01;23;20;22 Stephanie To be who you are and be in that flow.

01;23;20;24 - 01;23;31;23 Seth And what every what every person, what every woman needs to realize is you create your safe place. That's where it starts. Yes. Right.

01;23;32;00 - 01;23;32;13 Ashley Yep.

01;23;32;16 - 01;23;44;09 Seth Yeah. I'm just going to go back to this. I'm an American woman trying to navigate the challenges of being a wife, mother and business owner. Wow. Ashley Shepard, thank you so much.

01;23;44;12 - 01;24;00;09 Ashley Yes. Oh thank you guys for having me. Honestly, I hope that there's just one woman out there that listens and says, like, I needed this, and if that's what we accomplish, then it was totally worth it. So thank you for having me.

01;24;00;11 - 01;24;04;07 Seth And cut. It's a wrap.

01;24;04;09 - 01;24;19;12 Stephanie Thank you so much for being here today. And thank you for sharing this episode with that one friend who needs this conversation. Thank you for all the ratings, the reviews, the comments, and especially the support. We so appreciate you.

01;24;19;14 - 01;24;33;14 Seth Now, if you want to take a peek behind the curtain and be the first to know about special previews, backstage updates here at the show, and especially some private collection content that doesn't come out in the regular show.

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