00:05:20:03 - 00:05:21:21 Stephanie Hi, I'm Stephanie.

00:05:21:23 - 00:05:34:11 Seth I'm Seth, and this is the Forever Young Show. The most powerful force in this world is a woman who knows who she is, why she is here, and what she wants to accomplish.

00:05:34:13 - 00:05:41:15 Stephanie And that's where self-care comes in. As a woman. It is my opportunity and my responsibility to take care of me.

00:05:41:17 - 00:05:43:14 Seth Self-care for your mind.

00:05:43:16 - 00:05:45:05 Stephanie Self-care for your body.

00:05:45:07 - 00:05:47:00 Seth Self-care for your money.

00:05:47:02 - 00:05:55:18 Stephanie Our mission is to serve women as they fulfill their irreplaceable roles in families, society, business, the fabric of humanity.

00:05:55:20 - 00:06:25:22 Seth So let's get this show on the road. We are meeting today here in the studio, thanks to Riverside, our online platform with an absolute dear friend, Patty, born out of Idaho Falls. We'll just call it Idaho Falls. Can we just call it Idaho Falls? I know you guys are Idaho Falls. Okay. No woman is a certified holistic health practitioner, health coach, life coach, herbalist and published author.

00:06:25:22 - 00:06:52:07 Seth We're going to talk about that book. Having experienced childhood trauma that left her paralyzed and broken. Patty, as a as an adult, a wife, a mother of three, the ghosts of her past demanded her to choose the path of healing. Faced with a choice between mediocrity and greatness, her personal healing journey began, and somehow it intersected with ours.

00:06:52:09 - 00:07:17:06 Seth Because this is not simply an interview where we get to meet an amazing person like like we do on the show. But but today we are here because we're here with one of our best friends in the world. And you and you and Curtis truly are coming into my life. You know, when when I was going through my divorce pre and post that you guys you guys were angels like the old Alabama song.

00:07:17:06 - 00:07:28:01 Seth There are angels among us. I count you, too as as winged angels. Are you going to show your wings on this podcast? Are we going to see the wings?

00:07:28:03 - 00:07:34:20 Patty I don't think so. I didn't know.

00:07:34:22 - 00:07:53:06 Stephanie Well, I'm. Patty was there for me a lot during the blending of our family. You know, those phone calls that I would make driving down the road or pulling off on the side of the road, the tears and a lot of hope and a lot of really good insights. It's really helping me become who I am today.

00:07:53:08 - 00:07:56:22 Patty Thank you. It's been an honor. It's been a pleasure.

00:07:57:00 - 00:07:58:13 Seth Have you seen The Chosen?

00:07:58:14 - 00:08:10:13 Patty Yes. Have you seen seven and eight yesterday? Yeah. So do we feel good? Yes. So good.

00:08:10:13 - 00:08:29:23 Seth All right, everybody, if you are listening, watching this and you have not seen the chose in the chosen series, this is the the New Testament, the the Jesus series. Right. You need to go. You need we highly implore you, go watch.

00:08:29:23 - 00:08:33:13 Patty It. It's a must. It's a must.

00:08:33:15 - 00:09:04:06 Seth If you've ever wondered about, you know, if you if you grew up like like we did in the Bible, you know, and in the Scriptures, in the in the revealed word of God, this this show very tastefully and appropriately has deepened and widened my appreciation for how the the how the gospel applies to the individual, to me, like me, like I look at that show, you know, I'm like and I can see myself.

00:09:04:06 - 00:09:29:14 Seth I just I mean, I want to go get like, you know, my my linen, my linen, you know, raiment and and get in, you know, in my sandals and just start walking around because you feel like you're there. But to see to see Jesus, to see the apostles and, and of course it's to show their thematic elements. But I have never honestly in my entire life, having grown up watching Jesus shows.

00:09:29:16 - 00:09:47:16 Seth Right. And many which have actually been very impactful in my life or vignettes this this has been the most powerful experience and personal and helped me to connect to God more than before. That show came so lovely.

00:09:47:18 - 00:10:12:20 Patty I would echo that for myself. It's made it's made him more real to me. Not that he hasn't been real because he's been a part of my life, deeply a part of my life. But to see him interact the way he does with personal city and, you know, in all sorts of situations, it's it's.

00:10:12:22 - 00:10:29:03 Stephanie I personally love the the side of him of humor like I don't think that's really talked about how he I mean why wouldn't he have some humor right Absolutely. It really really draws at home for me. I love to laugh. I love I love.

00:10:29:03 - 00:10:44:16 Patty I think a lot of times, you know, excuse me. I think a lot of times he's portrayed as sterile. And this makes him real and makes him emotional and caring, funny, inclusive, inclusive.

00:10:44:18 - 00:11:20:05 Seth I, I think and I felt this way long before the Chosen, but in the last five and ten years, interestingly enough, having deep heartaches and and trauma in going through divorce and alienation and and separation and really just an incredible amount of loss and grief and having come to know Jesus, you know, and and experienced his word in in real personal ways, I just and they portray this great on the show.

00:11:20:05 - 00:11:46:01 Seth And if you if you dive into the New Testament, you truly see this. But so many of the pious people, you know, in the old in the old site, New Testament times, I guess we could say they missed the mark. Right? They were waiting for a messiah and they had this social construct of based on religious revelation, like, you know, absolute revelation.

00:11:46:01 - 00:12:22:19 Seth I mean, Mt. Sinai happened, folks. Those Ten Commandments, that was real, combined with the weakness of mankind in society, you know, tradition upon tradition upon tradition and time. And they kind of lost sight of it. And I just I just have this feeling. I just have this feeling. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see when he comes again. But I just think that we often miss how personable and tangible he is and his law is.

00:12:22:19 - 00:12:53:21 Seth I mean, I mean, I believe in the law like it is. Boom. Like it is there. There is justice, there is mercy. I just think there might be a whole lot of people who are going to be really surprised at what things look like in the future. Right. I mean, we know where you stand, you know, from an organized, you know, having a being deeply committed to your faith, not simply on not only an internal faith, but but an external organized religion.

00:12:53:23 - 00:13:19:17 Seth Right. At the same time, I just I feel like while Jesus is way above any of those limited beliefs or understandings that we have, and I just think, you know, like the Pharisees and Sadducees in the in the New Testament, man, there can be a whole lot of people who just missed the boat but thought that they were, you know, you know, thought that they were, you know, doing the right thing even if they were empty inside.

00:13:19:17 - 00:13:24:18 Seth I don't know. I don't know if I put that the way, way. I just I just have an appreciation for life.

00:13:24:18 - 00:13:56:16 Patty And, you know, I'll take you back to trauma for just a second. Self. It's it's been through trauma that I have gotten to know him on a very personal basis. And so, you know, sometimes we can look at our rough situations and think, Why me? Why are you doing that to me? But in the end, for me, what's happened is I, I have become very well acquainted with him and with his enabling power.

00:13:56:16 - 00:14:09:21 Patty His healing power. I don't know. I honestly don't know how you do life and trials without knowing him on an on a on a very personal basis.

00:14:09:22 - 00:14:32:12 Stephanie Yeah. I think that we we definitely have gone through that also through our own trials and traumas and still going through that, you know, working through them with a savior and with our brother in heaven. I'm feeling, you know, the enabling power of the atonement and how it gives us hope and power to move forward and a in a better way.

00:14:32:14 - 00:15:05:22 Patty But we haven't we haven't addressed this yet. But, you know, you guys know Curtis passed away two years ago and that has the only way through that really has been leaning in closer to the savior. There's there's no way to describe what kind of a loss that was for me. But it's through him that I'm able to carry on every day.

00:15:06:00 - 00:15:08:09 Patty So beautiful.

00:15:08:11 - 00:15:10:10 Seth Anybody from Mexican today I.

00:15:10:12 - 00:15:11:20 Patty Know this.

00:15:11:22 - 00:15:14:09 Seth Mexican food that's Curtis like.

00:15:14:09 - 00:15:15:15 Patty

00:15:15:17 - 00:15:19:14 Seth We can't talk about Curtis. Curtis, are you watching this episode?

00:15:19:16 - 00:15:25:07 Patty I'm sure he is. I'm sure he's sitting right here. Right. That was my thought.

00:15:25:09 - 00:15:45:18 Seth Just imagining Curtis eating chips and salsa. Okay. Like, Hey, Patty Curtis, where do you guys want to go out? Like, why are we even asking this question? I could probably count on one hand of the many, many, many dinners we've done over the years, how many times they weren't at a mexican restaurant if you guys were involved.

00:15:45:20 - 00:15:57:06 Patty Yeah, he did it three times a day, seven days a week. Maybe the only one You didn't have us when we had a cookout in the backyard.

00:15:57:08 - 00:16:15:16 Seth That might be the case. I think that's going to be one of the central subjects when we're here for a few minutes today. But tell us about your relationship with Curtis, the friendship that you had. Obviously, you know, your marriage for decades. And then and well, let's start there and then and then where does it go from there?

00:16:15:16 - 00:16:25:14 Seth I mean, in a short period of time, you had to I don't want to say goodbye, you know, but you had to say goodbye, at least for the rest of this mortal life.

00:16:25:14 - 00:16:31:18 Stephanie We like to say, See you later. Better. I'll see you later, because it's not a permanent thing.

00:16:31:21 - 00:16:45:08 Patty Where do I start with that? Yeah. Curtis and I were married for 42 years. We worked together. We. We had a family business, and so we were together a lot.

00:16:45:13 - 00:16:46:15 Stephanie And the question for you?

00:16:46:19 - 00:16:47:05 Patty Yes.

00:16:47:09 - 00:16:48:22 Stephanie Yeah. How did you and Curtis meet?

00:16:49:00 - 00:17:10:08 Patty Well, we first met in school. He would have been eighth grade. I'd have been seventh grade. Then we shared some classes his senior year. My junior year. He always had other girlfriends and he always had a girlfriend. I didn't want a boyfriend because, you know, anyway, but.

00:17:10:10 - 00:17:14:15 Seth I was about to start singing Puppy Love. But apparently the love hasn't come.

00:17:14:17 - 00:17:17:17 Patty No, no, no.

00:17:17:18 - 00:17:21:04 Seth And they called it Puppy Love.

00:17:21:06 - 00:17:38:16 Patty He was probably one of the I mean, he teased me relentlessly through classes, but we didn't. We were just really good friends. He went on his mission. We wrote the whole time he was on his mission. Not he had a girl waiting for him. So it wasn't it wasn't a.

00:17:38:18 - 00:17:41:12 Seth You were the friend. You were the friend.

00:17:41:14 - 00:17:51:12 Patty Friend. Yeah. So when he came back from his mission, he served Chicago, Minnesota, Midwest.

00:17:51:12 - 00:17:55:18 Seth Years of lighting in in the Windy City. Okay.

00:17:55:19 - 00:18:24:02 Patty Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And anyway, he called and asked me out, and I turned him down for Thursday night. I turned him down for Friday night. I turned him down for Saturday night. So he said, well, can I come go to church with you on a Sunday? And I said, okay. So we went to church and afterwards we were driving around and he said, I want to see if we can be more than just friends.

00:18:24:04 - 00:18:36:00 Patty And I got a boyfriend. I had a boyfriend of three years. So and I said, Okay, what am I thinking? Anyway? The rest is history. You're like that. This list, when.

00:18:36:06 - 00:18:47:08 Seth I'm given, I'm getting back at you because, you know, I've known, you know, you know, we've known since the eighth grade, pal, you know, And I've been sitting over here. I've been. I've been living my life. And now you just waking up.

00:18:47:08 - 00:19:03:01 Patty Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that was January of 1979, and we were married in November, so that same year. So that's how we met, how we came together. All right. I love it.

00:19:03:03 - 00:19:06:12 Stephanie Learn a little bit more about you and Curtis.

00:19:06:14 - 00:19:40:12 Patty Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was good. He was. He was. He was very. He. He was very, maybe I could say very emotionally unavailable. In the early years of our marriage. And I always thought that was kind of a sore rub for me, if I might say. And he, in the later years, as the kids grew older, you know, it was he had to kind of get emotionally involved with the with the kids and with me.

00:19:40:16 - 00:20:07:15 Patty And I always and through that time, my abuse came up. And so and I always felt it's easy to feel alone when you're healing anyway because the pain is so great. But I kind of felt alone and and years later I said to him, you know, it felt like because he was emotionally unavailable to me, that was a gift.

00:20:07:17 - 00:20:25:06 Patty Because if he had of pampered me or, you know, tried to protect me, I don't think I would have dug down as deep as I did. So I said, you know, he made me he pushed me out of the nest and made me fly when I didn't think I could. And so I had to learn how to fly.

00:20:25:06 - 00:21:03:08 Patty And then, you know, my healing helped him probably be able to be more emotionally involved as well. But, you know, I say that even now, sorry, as long as he's passed, it's like he's pushed me out of the nest again and made me have to learn how to fly again, even at a at a deeper, more powerful way.

00:21:03:10 - 00:21:30:14 Seth I will say that. And the reason I got on The Chosen is because I was going to I was going to talk about about Simon Peter, Right. The Rock, right. Jesus gave Simon a new name and it was it was Peter, Right. Which means rock. And I was going to say that you've been you've been that rock for us in our lives.

00:21:30:16 - 00:21:55:00 Seth After Curtis passed, I felt I guess I saw you. I saw you out of the nest. I saw you in a different light than I've seen Patti before. I saw you Vulnerable and aimless isn't the right word, but. But grieving in a way that I never really. That I never really had.

00:21:55:01 - 00:22:29:21 Patty It wasn't. It wasn't something I ever saw myself being a widow. We'd never had that conversation. Here's what you do for either one of us. And in that situation. And so I was as pretty out of the nest, you know, day by day, week by week. Sometimes minute by minute. I've found the strength to fly again. I don't know.

00:22:29:21 - 00:22:41:04 Patty It it rearranged everything. It I don't think you go through loss like that and remain the same.

00:22:41:06 - 00:23:06:16 Stephanie I feel like I can relate a lot to that going through my divorce. You know, it's a different type of loss, but it's still a loss of a spouse. Absolutely. You know, talking about going through loss or going through the trauma and feeling so alone. I remember going through my divorce and my extended family knew about it. But we had all gotten together and the house was crowded.

00:23:06:18 - 00:23:24:04 Stephanie You know, I come from a very large family. My dad comes from 13. He's one of 13. And and, you know, so many grandparents, you know, uncles and cousins, everybody running around and feeling absolutely alone. You know, it's very vulnerable place to be.

00:23:24:06 - 00:23:25:04 Patty Yeah.

00:23:25:06 - 00:23:53:06 Stephanie And I feel like that's one of the big reasons why I thought a deeper relationship with my savior and my father in heaven was because they're the ones that filled me and helped me to not feel so alone. Yeah, they you know, I care more how the quote goes, but something about, you know, a light in the tunnel and just having the savior as that light shining in through the tunnel to the other side.

00:23:53:08 - 00:24:00:05 Stephanie So very hard, painful experience and beautiful at the same time.

00:24:00:07 - 00:24:24:04 Patty Had I not already known him because through through other hard times I've had in my life, I think the grief would have been even much harder without already having that relationship. It it definitely has deepened, even just in the last two years. So, yeah.

00:24:24:06 - 00:24:33:11 Seth Let's talk about your book, From Trauma to Triumph. Where did that come from? Why did you decide to write a book?

00:24:33:17 - 00:25:11:01 Patty Patti Well, I've I've written a few this particular one is when I was doing The Life or the Health Coach Course, that book was written as part of that. That helped coach course. From Trauma to Triumph pretty much has several chapters in my life. Childhood trauma and and healing that my daughter's divorce and just piecing her back together is a chapter of that.

00:25:11:03 - 00:25:28:23 Patty Losing a spouse is a chapter of that. And trauma. Trauma affects all of us a little bit differently. But it's it can be healed. That's the whole point. It can be healed. It can be changed. It can be transformed.

00:25:29:00 - 00:25:47:17 Stephanie It was a beautiful book that I got to read and I gleaned so much from it. It really helped me through some of my own traumas while I was reading that and to fill that, hoping to see the outcome of your life, maybe like, okay, I want more. Okay, I need to do more. Okay, this is okay. I can do this.

00:25:47:17 - 00:25:54:13 Stephanie You know, that's kind of how I felt reading that. So thank you. Where can people find this book?

00:25:54:15 - 00:26:22:03 Patty It's available on Amazon and and I've published it under my official name, which is Patricia. I go by Patti, but I decided to publish under Patricia so you can find it on Amazon under Patricia J. Bone. Wonderful. Thank you. I'm glad it helped you. Stephanie. That's that was my hope that it would my words would have some impact on others.

00:26:22:05 - 00:26:24:21 Stephanie it it definitely, definitely did.

00:26:24:23 - 00:26:40:13 Seth What do you think the effect of or how common how rampant is from a woman's perspective, from a girl's perspective, how rampant is childhood trauma in a young girl's life? These days, do you think?

00:26:40:15 - 00:26:44:06 Patty I think it's pretty I think it's pretty big. What do you think that we need.

00:26:44:11 - 00:26:46:12 Seth To think about it? What do we need to be doing better?

00:26:46:14 - 00:27:25:01 Patty That's a good question. I think obviously the Internet has a big a big role to play. But as a parent, I think awareness I think awareness is probably the biggest thing for all of us. If we're aware that those things are happening in the world, we better maybe zero in a little closer into home and into our girls, you know, And that might not be a great, huge thing.

00:27:25:01 - 00:27:49:12 Patty But things can happen at school. Things can be said, things can be, you know, implicated that trauma trauma isn't what happens to us. It's how we perceive of what happened to us. That's where the trauma is. And so, you know, we might think something that was said, might you know, we might laugh it off and say, you know, that's no big deal.

00:27:49:12 - 00:28:00:03 Patty But if that child or that young girl felt impacted by that in a negative way, it needs to be addressed and the sooner the better.

00:28:00:05 - 00:28:40:20 Stephanie I completely agree. I think another thing and I feel like I see a lot of it at least women around my age is becoming cycle breakers, you know, figuring out what things have been passed down and changing it, being that pioneer or to I don't know, I feel like even in my own life, going through my own experiences has created this lioness in me to open her mouth more and to not be okay and to say, I don't care if I lose friends, if this is the right thing to do, and if this is going to protect somebody, whether it's my child or my family or somebody else, I'm going to do it because it's

00:28:40:20 - 00:28:54:06 Stephanie going to help someone else. I see a lot more women doing that nowadays, probably because of what they've been through themselves, and they don't want to keep continuing to pass it down generation to generation. Yeah, I think that's a really big thing too.

00:28:54:07 - 00:29:00:01 Patty We either pass it on or we pass it back.

00:29:00:03 - 00:29:01:12 Stephanie I love that.

00:29:01:14 - 00:29:11:17 Patty And by not acting, we pass it on acting, we pass it back. Say, no, I'm not going to do that anymore till I've got.

00:29:11:19 - 00:29:14:10 Stephanie Thanks for sharing that.

00:29:14:12 - 00:29:54:10 Patty That's what that was my motivator early, early on when I started to remember and deal with my own childhood trauma, I was like, I don't want my kids to ever have to do this. And so I fought so hard as I do in doing my own work. I was being an advocate for my children, and that really was a huge motivator for me to do as much work as I could to make myself better so that my children didn't weren't affected by it, even call it a chain breaker.

00:29:54:13 - 00:30:09:21 Patty But when you it's not easy to do that. But if you don't, it will carry on. So I chose to pass it back as you guys have. I know you've to I know you've made those same choices.

00:30:09:23 - 00:30:22:14 Stephanie Definitely still on a healing journey and trying to figure out, you know, continuously what can we do to make ourselves better parents, better spouses, but our friends and that our son and daughter.

00:30:22:14 - 00:30:56:08 Patty And you know how you know what that is? Make you a better person? That's really what it is. The more the more we own about ourselves. And if it needs healed, heal it. If it needs change to change it, that's how we make ourselves a better any anything, whether it's friend, parent, Grandma is just to change the things in us that need to need changed.

00:30:56:10 - 00:31:11:08 Seth If you were to give a, I don't know, three step, you know, three simple steps, maybe it's four, maybe it's two to addressing personal trauma to change yourself. And you're talking about, okay, let's change. How do you do that? Like what? What are the steps?

00:31:11:10 - 00:31:42:23 Patty Always the first step is awareness and acknowledgment. So if you if you know the things that are, you know, just that constant rub, because when when there's that constant rub where we're we're acting from a place of where the trauma happened, not not from the current place that we're in. So the awareness of, ooh, yeah, that happened, now what do I do with it?

00:31:42:23 - 00:32:13:16 Patty So awareness and acknowledgment is the first step. The second step is finding the way to heal that. And that's, that's a probably a bigger answer because everybody's going to do it differently. I can go back to the medical model, and I told you earlier, I got the protocol. Protocol doesn't heal anyone. What might work for me isn't going to work for Stephanie.

00:32:13:18 - 00:32:44:15 Patty When I counsel or coach someone, I give my experiences. But I don't say this is how you do it. I use stories or experiences as a way to help guide them so that their internal self, your soul, knows exactly what you need all the time. All of our answers are inside. As in my book, I walked through all of the different things that I went through.

00:32:44:15 - 00:33:11:02 Patty I started out with talk therapy and that worked for a while and then it didn't work anymore. And I prayed and I said, okay, what do I do? And I was led to a multitude of different things. I haven't stayed with one particular modality or one particular therapy for for very long. I've I've let the spirit guide me to what was needed next.

00:33:11:04 - 00:33:40:08 Patty And, and then what was needed next. I can tell you, even writing has been very cathartic. There's a journal I, I journal probably every single day about my feelings and being able to write them down and put them on a tab on a piece of paper. There's there's something that happens in inside of you when you watch yourself write those things down and how that can change.

00:33:40:08 - 00:34:05:09 Patty So I think that this I guess you could call that the second thing. I think that's very, very varied in across, across the board. Acknowledgment and awareness is the first piece. The second piece, you're your soul's going to lead you there and let it. It might be something you never thought that you would ever do that led it.

00:34:05:14 - 00:34:07:23 Patty Yeah, go ahead. Yeah.

00:34:08:00 - 00:34:36:18 Stephanie Around Black Friday, I was just looking at different things. Excuse me. I was on Instagram looking at different things and having an open mind to know that, you know, they're going to be self going on and different things going on are being pushed around that time and all of a sudden this one girl popped up as a suggestion on Instagram and she's called a somatic or I'm sorry, the workout, which and she does somatic exercises and I'm like, I had no clue what somatic exercises were.

00:34:36:18 - 00:34:57:16 Stephanie I'd never heard of them before, but instantly something inside me was like, You need to do this. And I was like, Whoa. And so I went on her website and started looking, and I've been doing her stuff, and that's helping me work through and pull up some of those really deep seated traumas that I've been through and powerful.

00:34:57:17 - 00:35:22:07 Stephanie And it's very powerful, very powerful. And I was just so amazed at how instantly I knew. I knew that I needed to do this work in particular for right now. And everything that she has posted has helped me also. You know, it's rang true for me and helped me to not feel so crazy or, you know, just yeah, just very validating and and has helped me through that.

00:35:22:09 - 00:35:23:00 Stephanie So yeah, yeah.

00:35:23:06 - 00:35:24:08 Patty It's almost.

00:35:24:08 - 00:35:26:14 Stephanie Even though sometimes that can be frustrating, it's like.

00:35:26:15 - 00:35:27:13 Patty

00:35:27:15 - 00:35:31:12 Stephanie Okay, I know my soul knows, but you know, when is it like, what is it? Where is it.

00:35:31:17 - 00:35:58:20 Patty Going to help me find the answer? Like right now, like I got to know right now because it were uncomfortable. You know, one of the things back to your somatic exercises, one of the things that I did through the grief when it was just so heavy and then adding the Ambien thing on top of it. And I, I just I was so out of control was qigong.

00:35:58:22 - 00:36:25:14 Patty I had to do that literally several times a day. And so I'd pull up a video on YouTube and, you know, it seemed it seemed a little odd that that's what I was going for, for grief, because, you know, I mean, I don't I don't know. I guess I didn't know how you healed grief and you really kind of, don't you?

00:36:25:16 - 00:36:53:20 Patty You learn to live with it. But it was qigong that realigns all of your energy meridians in your in your body, those movements. Same thing with somatic release. And so you're getting your your, your lining up your energy system in your body so that it it can function normally. Sometimes it's just little things, somatic exercise or and you know, 15 minutes of qigong.

00:36:53:22 - 00:37:11:08 Patty Sometimes it's, you know, sometimes it's just letting yourself feel it and crying and, and you know, I think we think we have to be strong. And, you know, crying is a sign of weakness. And actually it's a sign of strength.

00:37:11:10 - 00:37:25:12 Stephanie I was going to say the same thing. You know, frequently people are saying, if you need to go to talk therapy or if you need to do all these different modalities, then you know, you're weak, you need help. And I'm like, No. Do you know how much strength it takes to go through and do and.

00:37:25:12 - 00:37:26:21 Patty Sister and to.

00:37:26:23 - 00:37:35:02 Stephanie Let all that come up and to process through it so it doesn't have the power over you like it used to? That takes real strength. Yeah, real.

00:37:35:02 - 00:38:05:11 Patty Strength. And in the end it's harder to carry it than it is to let it go. It takes more energy to carry that around than it does to let it go and be healed. And and you carry it. You carry it for the rest of your life. If you don't bring it up and let it be healed, I wrote down a quote the other day and I brought this with me, but I wrote down this quote from Maryanne Williams that I thought was really good.

00:38:05:11 - 00:38:27:07 Patty It says it takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last for the rest of our lives. So maybe courage could be the first step in awareness. The second, I don't know.

00:38:27:09 - 00:38:59:20 Seth I just I mean, I'm I'm processing this myself because I think because I tend to live with the dull pain of not knowing how to solve some of these past traumas or lingering, you know, lingering difficulties. And because I'm a high energy guy, you know.

00:38:59:22 - 00:39:15:02 Patty And you're a guy I mean, guys, I. How did you like that scene with Thomas when he's grieving and Peter's trying to figure out, how do I help him?

00:39:15:04 - 00:39:16:18 Seth And we're in the shows and we're back to the chosen.

00:39:16:18 - 00:39:18:13 Patty Folks, back to the Jason.

00:39:18:15 - 00:39:20:14 Seth Season for season.

00:39:20:14 - 00:39:26:12 Patty Four. Was that difficult for you to watch him grieve like that? It was for me.

00:39:26:13 - 00:39:30:19 Stephanie it was so hard for me. So hard.

00:39:30:21 - 00:39:32:12 Seth Inconsolable.

00:39:32:13 - 00:39:47:12 Patty Inconsolable. And and because I know I don't know all of your traumas, but I know some of your traumas and they're big and in I don't know if you've cried like that, but if you haven't, let yourself.

00:39:47:14 - 00:39:48:19 Seth It's been a while.

00:39:48:21 - 00:39:50:18 Patty Think it's been a while.

00:39:50:20 - 00:39:52:23 Seth Yeah.

00:39:53:00 - 00:39:55:05 Patty There's. There's healing in tears.

00:39:55:06 - 00:40:01:23 Seth In the movie. We were not even there to talk about the chosen. Right? Like the Chosen was not on it wasn't on the show notes, honey.

00:40:01:23 - 00:40:03:23 Stephanie It was on the script. But not written.

00:40:04:02 - 00:40:50:06 Seth It was it was there was a spiritual script that apparently I didn't see before the show. Producer Can we get the producer? There's a line of is this is not scriptural again, you know it's a show but going to that vignette where where Thomas is spoiler alert by the way Thomas is going to grief folks in the shows If you've not seen season four and you know they're like well you know what do we do I think John you know John the beloved one wanted to help Thomas Peter Simon Peter wanted to help Thomas and and and Jesus says something like, you know, there's no right way to grieve something like that's not a direct

00:40:50:06 - 00:41:15:07 Seth quote that really hit me, you know, But, but, but you need to grieve like there's no there's no you got to do this, this and this and this. Or you need to do you need to grieve within these confines. So let him let him experience his grief, because I truly believe, you know, and I'm talking about what's on what's in it for me.

00:41:15:07 - 00:41:45:07 Seth If they, you know, at the end of the rainbow, you know, what's the pot of gold for me at the end of the rainbow? Because I'm still going through it. You know, I think there's healing, there is peace, but none of I think sometimes I'd like just to gloss over it and say, yeah, I'm at peace. I can accept it, but maybe have not been willing to really, truly allow the grief to to settle, right?

00:41:45:07 - 00:42:00:21 Seth I mean, like just to settle and to sit. So that's why I was sitting back there speechless because I was like, Wow, yeah, I'm about to get real vulnerable. And we might we might have that crying session right now. So I'm going to I'm going to be.

00:42:00:23 - 00:42:24:03 Patty Playing okay, if you do. But but I do say if you if you need to let it the the chemical compound tears it it changes you. It it changes I mean, even just the chemical compounds of a tear, there's change in that.

00:42:24:05 - 00:42:36:15 Stephanie It makes me think of Japanese culture and how they believe that water is very sacred and can be very healing. And I think that's even from tears. It's a very cleansing, healing process.

00:42:36:17 - 00:42:37:23 Patty

00:42:38:01 - 00:42:40:08 Stephanie To allow those tears to flow.

00:42:40:10 - 00:42:45:10 Patty Yeah. Very cathartic. He's still speechless. I know.

00:42:45:10 - 00:42:51:01 Stephanie I'm kind of basking in this.

00:42:51:03 - 00:42:52:12 Patty Know.

00:42:52:14 - 00:43:02:01 Stephanie I will say, I used to think that, you know, it would make me nervous. Like, he's not talking or he's not. And then I've realized I need to let him.

00:43:02:03 - 00:43:02:23 Patty You know.

00:43:03:01 - 00:43:11:23 Stephanie The very few times this has happened, I need to allow him to experience.

00:43:12:01 - 00:43:22:20 Patty I can see he's processing in it. And I'll just say, you're welcome back.

00:43:22:22 - 00:43:25:12 Seth Thank you. Thank you.

00:43:25:14 - 00:43:38:23 Patty I see that all the time. So that was those. Curtis, by the way.

00:43:39:01 - 00:43:40:04 Seth Point well-taken.

00:43:40:04 - 00:43:42:00 Patty Still here.

00:43:42:02 - 00:43:53:17 Stephanie So can you share with us your experiences with overcoming self-doubt or imposter syndrome and what advice you would have for women that are struggling with those issues?

00:43:53:19 - 00:44:03:21 Patty There's a there's a a man that I have, I should say a professional that I have seen in Salt Lake that sounded great.

00:44:04:02 - 00:44:07:16 Seth Let's talk about your next relationship, Patty So.

00:44:07:18 - 00:44:09:00 Patty So personal.

00:44:09:02 - 00:44:14:20 Seth There's just said nothing was off limits. Permission beforehand. I'm just you know.

00:44:15:00 - 00:44:39:00 Patty I don't have that yet so that'll be another podcast when I when I went to him after after Curtis passed, he sent me on a course of finding out who I am. And I, I was a little as a little miffed about that at first because I was like, I came to you to help me with my grief.

00:44:39:02 - 00:45:01:23 Patty How why are we why are we here? You know, why are you telling me I need to figure out who I am? Because did I not already do that? Have I not spent years of time doing that? Decades. And so for the last two years, it's been a whole different ballgame of figuring out who I am. First of all, I had to own that.

00:45:02:00 - 00:45:30:18 Patty I, I kind of hid behind Curtis. And I know I'm not saying this is bad or wrong. I think it's normal in a marriage relationship. I think it's. But but I realized I would stand behind him and let him be my buffer. I let him tell me if things were safe or not safe, or I let him be my barometer or of, you know, or, you know, I don't want to do that.

00:45:30:18 - 00:45:52:15 Patty So you tell him, I don't want to do that. And, you know, I mean, I can see myself just kind of tucked behind his arm at his side, but tucked behind his arm saying, yeah, you you do that for me? I didn't have that anymore. I was I'm all I got. And I had to learn how to do that.

00:45:52:17 - 00:46:22:15 Patty And then I started to understand why I needed to know who I am alone. I knew who I was. I was. I was Curtis's wife. And I let him not inappropriately, but I let him lead. I let him. I let him be. Because it didn't make me vulnerable. It made me safe. It made me, you know, you know, I that was one of the very first things that I kind of came up against.

00:46:22:17 - 00:46:45:22 Patty And it's it's been a I will say it's been a beautiful process, but just in the last maybe two months, I just really felt I had a blessing. And the blessings, the very first thing was to bless me, to know who I really am. And I was like, Pan, am I still there? Do I still not know who I am, what the deal?

00:46:46:00 - 00:47:08:10 Patty And so I've been praying and I've been asking God, okay, who am I? Just tell me who I am. And then I thought, You know what? He's not going to do that. But he is. That is not who God is. He's not going to tell me who I am. He's going to let me decide who I am, because that's my agency.

00:47:08:12 - 00:47:28:12 Patty So I sat down with the paper and a pen, which I do frequently, and I wrote down this list of who I think I am started with. I am a daughter of God. The second one was I am a woman of faith. I won't tell you my whole list, but I started.

00:47:28:12 - 00:47:29:17 Stephanie Kind of want to it.

00:47:29:19 - 00:47:39:17 Seth I got a bye. Let me guess, you got to buy the new one. Revised the newly revised Trauma to Triumph book. And the in the end, you know.

00:47:39:19 - 00:48:05:03 Patty No, but I do think I'm going to add this to the book because it's been such a powerful, powerful process. But I took each one of those and I spent a week writing, journaling about them, what that meant to me to be a daughter of God and it has been it has been transformational. I didn't want to hurry through it because I do have a tendency to, okay, I did that.

00:48:05:03 - 00:48:28:09 Patty Let's move on, especially with grief, because you don't want to stay in it. And guess what? It's here to stay. Grief is the price we pay for love. I'm I love him. I've loved him for four years. I'm not going to ever stop loving him. I got to figure out some way to live without him here. And so I.

00:48:28:14 - 00:48:54:13 Patty I just spent the time that and I'll go back if I feel so inspired, I'll go back and write about one of the things that I know on my list. I'm I'm down. I'm my third one was I'm a healer, and that's the one I'm working on right now. I think when we get back to your self doubt question, it's easy to doubt ourselves.

00:48:54:15 - 00:49:24:16 Patty It's easy to say, I'm not good enough or I'm not. But I think sometimes we do too much comparing to others in theirs and in who we see, but we don't see. We don't see the pain they have. Usually we all know how to put on that face of everything's great, you know, and, and, and it's good that we can do that.

00:49:24:18 - 00:50:02:03 Patty But when we're really honest with ourselves, we know, we know the pains we carry. We know the things that we that we have that are are bothering us or holding us down or holding us back. But this, this process of of me deciding who I am. And and I wrote that when we decide that God will validate solidify me and add upon but we have to choose who we are actually may be.

00:50:02:03 - 00:50:19:18 Patty Let me say that again. We get to choose who we are. He made us for something, and when we know who we are, that brings us closer to whatever that is that he made us for.

00:50:19:19 - 00:50:38:11 Seth I was feel like this. This saying has really resonated with me the last few years. We've been sharing it with people. Stephanie and I were in we were in Asia, we were in Thailand, in Japan to the six city tour for the business.

00:50:38:11 - 00:50:42:06 Patty Fabulous, by the way.

00:50:42:08 - 00:50:42:16 Seth It was.

00:50:42:16 - 00:50:43:19 Patty Amazing.

00:50:43:21 - 00:50:57:22 Seth We had we had our two youngest with us, eight and well, at the time they were seven. Well, Hannah turned eight on that trip. She turned eight in Japan. She celebrated her birthday in Tokyo, Japan.

00:50:58:03 - 00:50:59:22 Patty You know, good for.

00:51:00:00 - 00:51:32:13 Seth Thailand on a Sunday. Yeah, yeah. She got multiple and she got home and she thought, Hey, can I celebrate my birthday here Now? It's like, okay. Like she's taking that whole time zone thing to to the max. Are these eight year old six year old girls And Stephanie, you know, was kind of it was kind of like we're in these business meetings with, you know, a handful of people, tens of people to hundreds of people, you know, 500 people and it was like the Von Molder family singers, right?

00:51:32:13 - 00:51:57:19 Seth The Von Trapp family singers, because we all had a part. We all had our little part. And everybody presented everybody spoke. But Stephanie talked about about identity thing about about really dialing in to who you are. And she walked them through and affirmation process I am statements and gave them some ideas and and the last one what's the last what is the last I am statement on your list.

00:51:57:19 - 00:52:04:19 Seth We did not we did not sync this up. So we'll see. We'll see if you give the right answer. If I'm going have to give you the price is right and.

00:52:04:21 - 00:52:05:07 Patty I don't.

00:52:05:07 - 00:52:22:06 Stephanie Remember. There was you remember and I remember, you know, after like speaking at one event and then going to another and having experiences in between. And I'm like, yeah, I want to add, you know, this one or these two because I like one was I'm a connector. I've realized I connect people or I connect to my family.

00:52:22:06 - 00:52:26:02 Stephanie And anyway, so I don't remember what the last one was.

00:52:26:04 - 00:52:44:13 Seth So there were roughly ten. There were 7 to 10, you know, and it it did evolve. But at the end, not at the end, but at the end of that list, you know, I am beautiful. I am a daughter of God. But the last one. Thank you. I just had to. I just had to. It's like coming out there on a cold winter morning and warming up the engine.

00:52:44:18 - 00:52:50:19 Seth Right. It's going to it's going to be on it's like a diesel, kind of you've got to turn on the globe. So what was that last one?

00:52:50:21 - 00:52:51:12 Stephanie Thanks for the.

00:52:51:12 - 00:52:52:00 Patty Analogy.

00:52:52:00 - 00:53:05:03 Seth Thanks for comparing my wife to a diesel engine. Yeah, that's a good one. Good one. That's going to go far. Great way to do it. Like a dude.

00:53:05:05 - 00:53:23:19 Stephanie So this last one that I added, I think I did after the first one, I just had this intuitive thought from God that I needed to start saying, And I am me, I am me. There's power in I am me.

00:53:23:21 - 00:53:42:09 Seth And one of those and we did some interviews after with some women and some fantastic Japanese women, because of course, 90% of the people we were meeting with were women. I mean, we do, you know, in our in our professional business, we work with women for health outcomes and for, you know, business outcomes, financial outcomes.

00:53:42:09 - 00:53:58:19 Seth But really what it comes down to is empowerment and identity. But I remember this woman saying my favorite thing that you said, Stephanie, was I am me. It was like a revelation to her.

00:53:58:21 - 00:54:11:03 Stephanie She started crying. I started crying now knowing I'm sure she's not the only one that was impacted. But to know, like God gave me that inspiration not just for myself, but for her.

00:54:11:03 - 00:54:13:22 Patty Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful.

00:54:14:00 - 00:54:47:13 Seth A wonderful wife, a mother growing into her own, realizing that that the role of mother, sacred, wonderful, special is not who she is. It is a role that she fills as well. But it is not the completeness of who she is. So I think saying I am me, Yeah, identity unlocks your destiny.

00:54:47:15 - 00:55:13:11 Patty And if we go back to the question you asked about what can we do better to help young girls, this is it. Teaching. Helping them know who they are is it's it's critical in today's world where, you know, I mean, you go back to me before I lost Curtis, I was his life that was one of my identities.

00:55:13:13 - 00:55:42:11 Patty And when that got taken away, guess what? I had to go deeper inside. And and so I think that's a lifelong process for all of us to figure out who we are and and it's it's not a cookie cutter to to do that. It's a it's an internal process that is beautiful.

00:55:42:13 - 00:56:02:11 Stephanie Yeah, I, I can totally relate to that. You know, when I was going through my divorce, I had an uncle who at the time was the only other member of my father's family who had been through a divorce. It was such a gift that he sat down with me and that was the first thing that we did, was he said, Stephanie, you need to figure out who you are.

00:56:02:13 - 00:56:04:23 Stephanie And I was like, Well, I hurt.

00:56:05:00 - 00:56:06:09 Patty I know who I am.

00:56:06:11 - 00:56:29:04 Stephanie And he's like, Stephanie, I know that that you know who you were when you were married to Andy. But who are you now? Who are you? Yeah, And he he encouraged me to make that list of who I am and that completely changed the way that I looked at myself and the way that I looked at my life and the whole process of going through this rebirth of who I am.

00:56:29:06 - 00:56:49:07 Stephanie And then, you know, just talking about it now, just looking at the different patterns in my life that God has given me the opportunity to look at who I am, you know, going and getting married to a wonderful man. You know, that's a whole nother process. But then you add on top of it that we both have children that we're bringing together and trying to blend a family.

00:56:49:09 - 00:56:54:18 Stephanie Let me tell you, that was a huge Who am I?

00:56:54:20 - 00:57:07:20 Patty Who am I? Yeah. And you talk about force you in inside instead of outside 100%. One. Yeah, yeah.

00:57:07:22 - 00:57:17:10 Stephanie Yeah. But then, you know, experiencing other things along the way, just some things that, you know, like I said, made that lioness and me like, okay, I'm ready to come out now.

00:57:17:12 - 00:57:19:02 Seth she came out.

00:57:19:04 - 00:57:23:13 Patty She's not going back. And I'll tell you that. Don't do that. No, no, no.

00:57:23:15 - 00:57:31:10 Seth Yeah. One day I'm like one day like, like after the raw, like, like after the raw.

00:57:31:12 - 00:57:53:04 Stephanie Hey, hey. At the beginning, I like it took me a while to figure out, like, you know, feeling like I can't talk. And this lioness has been suppressed for decades. And then all of a sudden I'm feeling this and feeling this power and feeling like, Don't you anybody get in my way? Or you're going to find, you know, who I really am.

00:57:53:06 - 00:58:02:23 Stephanie But so at the beginning, that's what I was getting at. At the beginning, it was it was probably a little more than it needed to be. But at the same time, that's how I needed to figure out.

00:58:03:00 - 00:58:04:21 Patty The pendulum swings, how.

00:58:04:21 - 00:58:06:14 Seth Loud you can go.

00:58:06:15 - 00:58:23:03 Stephanie Well, not just how loud I can go, but how loud do I need to be to fill, you know, fill that person that I am inside, you know, to feel strong and to feel safe and to fill, you know, to really see who I am and how I can lessen that roar to channel it.

00:58:23:07 - 00:58:40:17 Seth Sure. You know, it's great. It's awesome. I'm like, yeah, it's it's awesome. Like, great. I, I just I do remember looking at her. I said, So is this how it's going to be from here on out? Like, like I'm just I just need a is this, is this what is this what it really looks like. You know.

00:58:40:18 - 00:58:42:13 Stephanie I said only if it has to be.

00:58:42:15 - 00:58:49:23 Patty Who we are. Yeah. You've had your warning.

00:58:50:00 - 00:58:55:04 Seth Wouldn't have it any other way. Absolutely wouldn't have it any other way.

00:58:55:06 - 00:58:55:21 Patty Absolutely.

00:58:55:22 - 00:59:02:01 Seth Powerful relationships come from powerful individuals.

00:59:02:03 - 00:59:04:06 Patty That's well said.

00:59:04:08 - 00:59:05:00 Stephanie Yeah.

00:59:05:02 - 00:59:26:21 Seth And one thing I want to I do want to I do want to bring this out, Patty, because like, there is no there is no. In your experience, you talking about I you know, I was Curtis's wife and I did hide. I mean, you know, again, that's part of your journey is part of your process. But again, to me, to me as your friend and as somebody who was inside you, like you were the rock, right?

00:59:26:21 - 00:59:54:13 Seth So I, I think it's important that we allow ourselves grace for where we've been, for how we felt, for where we've come up short, and then still realize that, you know what? Like I like to say this. You know I'm perfect. I'm perfect in this very moment. Now we all know that I am not without mistakes, blemish challenges, you know, failures.

00:59:54:15 - 01:00:24:18 Seth When I say I'm perfect, I'm. I'm perfectly aligned with and perfectly present and perfectly willing to accept that tomorrow I'm going to realize that today, you know, I needed to change, right? I was. I was this. But now I am literally evolving into, you know, that new creature. So I guess I just wanted to honor you because as Curtis's wife, one of your roles, you were amazing, right?

01:00:24:20 - 01:00:36:13 Seth But God just said, okay. And Curtis is like, okay, here we go. Right. You ready for that high growth zone? High growth zone time? You know.

01:00:36:15 - 01:00:58:23 Patty I I guess that's what it what they both determined because that's exactly what it feels like. I've been in this high growth zone for the last two years. I miss him terribly. I still wish he were here, but I also know that I would have never grown the way I have over the last two years if he were still here.

01:00:59:00 - 01:01:01:14 Patty That doesn't diminish him at all.

01:01:01:16 - 01:01:02:12 Seth Yeah.

01:01:02:14 - 01:01:20:01 Patty It it I think it accentuates the power of a human soul that through grief I have I have grown into who I am more than ever before.

01:01:20:03 - 01:01:25:02 Seth And when and when that reunification comes, how sweet it will be.

01:01:25:04 - 01:01:33:03 Patty Can't wait. But I will. Or no.

01:01:33:03 - 01:01:34:12 Seth More Ambien pay like.

01:01:34:14 - 01:01:35:04 Patty An.

01:01:35:06 - 01:01:37:09 Seth Ambien.

01:01:37:11 - 01:01:49:23 Stephanie No. I'm really grateful that you share that with us because honestly, I never would have perceived you that way that you were hiding behind Curtis. And that really gives me a lot of hope for myself because I feel like that's something.

01:01:49:23 - 01:01:51:11 Patty That I've done with Tough is.

01:01:51:12 - 01:01:53:20 Stephanie You know, she's always been the big leader in our.

01:01:53:20 - 01:02:01:05 Patty Business. She's been the big leader in our home and in our community. And I've I'm finding.

01:02:01:06 - 01:02:12:00 Stephanie Her that I, I keep receiving opportunities to come out from behind him. And anyways, it gives me a lot of perspective and gratitude.

01:02:12:06 - 01:02:57:06 Patty So you don't think there's anything wrong with doing that? I think it's kind of a natural thing, and that is the role of of a man to be to preside, provide and protect. However, when I didn't have that, I had to come out and I'm grateful. So I will invite you to do that as a step at a time, knowing that he's still going to play that role if he needs to, or my truth is that.

01:02:57:06 - 01:02:58:22 Stephanie Really what I sound like?

01:02:59:00 - 01:02:59:20 Patty Because.

01:02:59:22 - 01:03:25:11 Seth Listen, like, you know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Like the person with the ears is the one who interprets what it sounds like. No, it's no, it's what it sounds like is when when we were with with with our grandma, our grandchildren, with Lincoln, and we were playing we were on vacation. Airbnb and in McCall, Idaho.

01:03:25:13 - 01:03:32:17 Seth Right. And we were playing I think there was a safari show on the TV or something at the Airbnb or something and or a book we.

01:03:32:17 - 01:03:33:14 Stephanie Are hunting things.

01:03:33:14 - 01:03:45:02 Seth Yeah, hunting thing and you know, Safari and, and the Serengeti or whatever, and they're lions. And so we started playing like Grandpa is going, Now I'm a lion, right you know, And that was all fun.

01:03:45:02 - 01:03:47:06 Stephanie And Lincoln's a toddler.

01:03:47:08 - 01:03:54:18 Seth Yeah. yeah. He's like three years old. I mean, he's a strong willed three year old like this. There's no pushover kid, like, Yeah, he knows.

01:03:54:18 - 01:03:57:03 Stephanie He was born with his roar.

01:03:57:05 - 01:04:00:16 Seth Like, okay, we talked about identity that gets dialed in.

01:04:00:18 - 01:04:02:07 Patty Right? Good for him.

01:04:02:11 - 01:04:09:06 Seth Yeah. Anyway, it was just funny. I started acting like a lion. And did I roar at him?

01:04:09:08 - 01:04:10:05 Stephanie Yeah.

01:04:10:06 - 01:04:11:03 Seth What did he do back?

01:04:11:06 - 01:04:12:05 Stephanie He was like.

01:04:12:07 - 01:04:37:02 Seth Yeah, like. Like I like almost. I almost put like. Yeah, it was like. Like, you know, when, when grandparents turn into scary figures, right? That's exactly what happened. And then I, then I pretended I was on a hunt and took down, you know, our 17 year old Isaac, you know, like, like he was a gazelle, you know? And I started car ride this kid is like speaking of childhood trauma.

01:04:37:04 - 01:04:38:20 Patty What you know.

01:04:38:22 - 01:05:09:21 Stephanie Well, I will say that one of the things that Seth has been involved in this helped me to come out of, you know, behind to them and and to find the leadership within myself is doing this podcast to be quite honest, it is not a comfortable thing for me. I am I'm very good with being open and vulnerable in small groups and personally face to face, but to be willing to put this out there for anybody you know, has been a really big deal for me and has helped me to also ask myself, who am I?

01:05:09:23 - 01:05:21:16 Stephanie You know, who am I? And how am I going to let people's reviews or comments or thoughts affect me and am I going to. So this this definitely has been been one of those.

01:05:21:16 - 01:05:31:00 Patty I can I just want you know, I can see the growth in you and and in this today so thank you to go.

01:05:31:01 - 01:05:31:13 Stephanie That means a.

01:05:31:13 - 01:05:33:07 Seth Lot in spite of the trolls, the.

01:05:33:07 - 01:05:35:19 Patty Trolls, the trolls.

01:05:35:21 - 01:05:39:05 Seth Total trolls under the bridge, right?

01:05:39:07 - 01:05:40:20 Patty Yeah.

01:05:40:22 - 01:05:46:02 Stephanie How can women advocate for their own health and navigate the health care system effectively?

01:05:46:04 - 01:06:16:18 Patty I think the more they know who they are and what works for them, the greater they can do that. I mean, I've always known that I didn't do pharmaceuticals well and, you know, they I just have every side effect that can be. And had I been in my right mind, I probably would have never taken that. But I hadn't slept for a while.

01:06:16:18 - 01:06:43:07 Patty And I knew it was, you know, I would sleep. It was fitful, sleeping at best. So, you know, I gave it a shot. And the first thing I'll do ever, if I'm ever faced with that again, is I will look up the side effects. First and foremost, it taught me. but I think again, the more we know who we are and what works for us and the protocol doesn't work because we are individuals.

01:06:43:09 - 01:06:54:08 Patty And for me that's the beauty of alternative modalities is it? It adapts to that, to the fact that we are individuals.

01:06:54:10 - 01:07:13:20 Seth We always like to put it this way. Stephanie wrapped. Stephanie was rapping for this question and this segment is sponsored by CEO because you are the CEO of your health. And back to our program. I mean that you are. I mean, men, women, girls, you need you need to know who you are and you need to know how your body works.

01:07:13:20 - 01:07:15:15 Seth You need to be educated.

01:07:15:17 - 01:07:16:02 Patty Also.

01:07:16:04 - 01:07:28:23 Seth About your body. I mean, that's some some of the awesome work and the I mean, the work that that Stephanie and that that we're doing in in Africa planning another trip. You're coming to Africa with us.

01:07:29:00 - 01:07:32:14 Patty do you? I didn't know you were going, but it sounds intriguing.

01:07:32:16 - 01:07:59:13 Stephanie Yeah. So I went to Africa in June on a humanitarian trip with a family friend, and I'm just hooked for life. Like after a few days being there, Seth and I face time because he stayed here with the kids, and he's like, Stephanie, your glowing like, how can I not be glowing? How can I? I'm here to serve and to love on people like, I've been so richly blessed that it was so humbling.

01:07:59:16 - 01:08:01:23 Stephanie In a nutshell. That's what I'll say.

01:08:02:01 - 01:08:04:14 Patty Awesome. Awesome.

01:08:04:16 - 01:08:15:07 Seth June, June, We will. Yeah. She said yes. All right. Well, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about.

01:08:15:07 - 01:08:16:02 Patty Okay.

01:08:16:04 - 01:08:39:22 Stephanie Going back to, you know, knowing who you are and knowing what works for your body and your health and everything. I also feel like the more that I found out who I was, the more intuitive I've become about how my body feels around people or how it reacts with things that I consume, whether it be food or treats or media.

01:08:39:23 - 01:08:40:06 Stephanie You know.

01:08:40:06 - 01:08:41:05 Seth We find.

01:08:41:07 - 01:08:41:18 Stephanie Out how we.

01:08:41:18 - 01:08:42:17 Seth Find Emma.

01:08:42:18 - 01:08:59:08 Stephanie Absolutely. Yeah. I had one sister who, you know, she's always been ahead of the curve, you know, doing the whole bone broth thing and to heal your gut, you know, and, you know, she did photography at the time and she would sit in front of a computer and she's like, I can't sit there very long because the EMFs like, these are affecting me.

01:08:59:08 - 01:09:15:01 Stephanie And I I've always believed her because I trusted her. But at the same time, it didn't make sense to me because I'm like, I haven't really heard of that and I've never experienced it, you know, and hear what like 15 years later? And I'm like, I can feel it. I can't be, you know, like I'm so highly sensitive to it.

01:09:15:01 - 01:09:24:20 Stephanie And I think a lot of that is because I'm knowing who I am. And so I know how things are affecting, affecting me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

01:09:24:22 - 01:09:46:23 Patty We are multifaceted human beings. That's great. I'm glad to hear that you're that you're that into that, you know, sometimes because then you can you you get it on the front end instead of the back end and then you have a lot of make up to do when you get it on the back end. Yeah. Does that make sense?

01:09:47:00 - 01:09:57:06 Stephanie Absolutely. Because I feel like a lot of it I am experienced on back end, but it's also helping me to prevent anything further down the road or even helping my children.

01:09:57:07 - 01:09:58:08 Seth Pattern interrupt.

01:09:58:10 - 01:09:59:19 Patty Yes. So, yes.

01:09:59:21 - 01:10:26:03 Seth I mean, you've got a life coaching background, so you're touching on the emotional side of things and not just emotional, but intuitive intellectual from a a a natural health coaching herbology, etc.. I mean, I think I know where you're going, but this is near and dear to our hearts as of our mission in our business and in in the show preventative.

01:10:26:05 - 01:10:57:04 Seth So all weigh in on you know, I don't know if you've got a story you want to share or just just a sermon on on preventative mindset and preventative work when it comes to, I'm going to say, physical health as opposed to a fix it when it breaks kind of approach, which, you know, we have both of those, we kind of have these there's a lot of people in both segments right in throughout the world.

01:10:57:04 - 01:11:02:11 Seth We see this throughout the world, you know, And like, what's your take on that, Patti?

01:11:02:17 - 01:11:38:01 Patty I'm I think this is this is this is the gospel of Patti. Are all of our emotions, our experiences all of those things have an impact on our physical health. And 80% of widows have a major health breakdown after the loss of a spouse. No, I'm not going to claim the Ambien thing as one for me, but I didn't have one, and I'm grateful I could have.

01:11:38:03 - 01:12:11:03 Patty But it it it goes to how how much our emotions, our spiritual health, our health, it all it all impacts our physical health. And so you can't you can't fix one without it affecting the other. My belief is if if I'm taking care of my emotional health, that changes my physical body, my mental health, it changes my physical body.

01:12:11:03 - 01:12:43:01 Patty I think our physical body is actually a canvas for all the rest of them. And and whatever those things are, it's it's painted in our physical help taking care of all of those aspects is is it's paramount for for physical help and vice versa. I mean, our physical health as it breaks down and I'm not saying, you know, some people have they're born with diseases or that kind of thing.

01:12:43:01 - 01:13:08:01 Patty So that that excludes those things are excluded from what I just said. That's not a blanket statement. But I think for the majority of us, when we can take care of our mental health, that helps our physical health, it helps our emotional health, it helps our spiritual health. If we take care of our spiritual health, it has it all is a trickle down thing, no matter which one we start on.

01:13:08:01 - 01:13:18:12 Patty You talked about somatic exercises and how that helped. So you can start on the physical level for sure and that goes through and helps all the rest of them as well.

01:13:18:18 - 01:13:37:00 Stephanie I love what you said about, you know, the body being a canvas that really that really hit home for me. Just a good picture. I'm a visual person. And so being able to see that, you know, yeah, really put things into perspective for me, a way that I haven't thought about. Thank you.

01:13:37:01 - 01:13:37:13 Patty You're welcome.

01:13:37:18 - 01:14:05:08 Seth So you can't you can't fix one without influencing positively another, right? Like there's, like, like there is this aura that, you know, if you focus on, on the, on the physical, it will affect some of those spiritual or emotional aspects. At the same time, you you can't fix one and ignore another and expect to get the full result right.

01:14:05:09 - 01:14:27:21 Seth Yes. Even in that one area like yes. Like the apex of health spiritual physically, emotionally, mind, body, spirit only happens when they're all inter connected and working in unison. You can only you can only get so high if you're if you're lifting weights only. Right.

01:14:27:21 - 01:14:29:09 Patty Like, yeah.

01:14:29:11 - 01:14:46:12 Seth I never thought about it that way. Here's my favorite quote from this entire thing. And there have been a lot by the way, this one hit me powerfully. Grief is the price we pay for love. Anybody who's grieving say that ten times today.

01:14:46:14 - 01:15:01:03 Patty It's love with no place to go. And so I had I had to turn that love inside and see to help me discover who I am at a deeper level than I'd ever done before.

01:15:01:05 - 01:15:27:15 Stephanie I think that's one reason why when I went to Africa and I was able to go make such an impact on so many lives, even just by going and smiling or playing with a child or holding a baby or whatnot, that I think that really helped me to take that love that I haven't been able to give to certain individuals and be able to spread it to to others that I knew that it would impact.

01:15:27:15 - 01:15:32:09 Stephanie You know, I could see on them while I was there doing it and how it impacted them for.

01:15:32:13 - 01:15:36:17 Patty For a good, you know. Yeah, that's beautiful.

01:15:36:23 - 01:16:03:06 Stephanie And I think also knowing that the work that we were doing there, so the organization, the nonprofit organization that I went with, Seth and I are now on the board with. And the main thing that we do there is drill water wells. And I got to help start a water well and like do the whole switching of wires and it's a hand crank, how they put the pipes down.

01:16:03:07 - 01:16:30:16 Stephanie And I got to help the first pipe down and knowing just the impact that it was going to have on thousands of people for the one well, that I got to do and how it was going to help, especially women and these girls for generations to come like that changes you. The chance to be a part of something that's way bigger than you and impacting so many other people from such a small sacrifice, you know, that you're able to do.

01:16:30:18 - 01:16:32:17 Patty Yeah, that's beautiful.

01:16:32:18 - 01:16:57:17 Seth Putting a well in a community or in a school in this in this case, minimum 2000 kids, better teachers because teachers want to teach at schools that have clean water. I mean, obviously, the health ramifications, it means that girls get to go to school because girls don't have to stay and help mom hold water for an hour or 2 hours or 3 hours or 4 hours.

01:16:57:19 - 01:17:06:03 Seth Girls can go to school. They can get an education. They can be safe. There's a whole safety aspect. So.

01:17:06:05 - 01:17:09:19 Patty Yeah, yeah, that's something that's powerful.

01:17:09:21 - 01:17:18:05 Stephanie It is. And I think that's why I keep like, okay, we got to go back. Okay? I want you to go with me now. So. Okay, when can we take the kids? Like, who else can we gather to go with us?

01:17:18:07 - 01:17:21:07 Patty You know? Yeah. Yeah. Well.

01:17:21:09 - 01:17:49:10 Seth Maybe one last question. You identify, you, you. As you're writing down who you are. You said I'm a healer. What? What is the next chapter for Patti Bowen when it comes to healing? What are you passionate about and what is what's the next step as you fulfill that identity?

01:17:49:12 - 01:18:24:11 Patty Well, I don't know that I can tell you what the next step is other than me to continue my own personal discovery. And as that happens, I think it opens up for me in a in a different way. I've always you know, Curtis always encouraged me to do this. He he was always I think if he were here, he would probably say, geez, Patti, I've been standing behind you, pushing you for, you know, so I, I love that I have some I have some things that kind of float around.

01:18:24:13 - 01:18:46:08 Patty I am, like I said, revising my book From Trauma to Triumph. I do want to put in some of the things that I've learned over the last two years, especially this. Who am I? I think that that has been a big piece for me. So I don't I'm not I'm not sure where it will where it will all go.

01:18:46:10 - 01:19:15:20 Patty I as I've as I have written about being a healer, I have I was reminded even back as a younger girl, I knew things about other people and how to help them and how to encourage them to reach their potential. I dated a guy who he was the most amazing artist, just he could sit down with a pencil and.

01:19:15:22 - 01:19:47:16 Patty And just sketch out. Like I had him sketch this little old woman from a National Geographic magazine. And it was just amazing how quickly and how perfectly he transferred that photo to a piece of paper. And I was constantly trying to encourage him to to reach for more and be better. And, you know, and then that's what my life has has turned out to be as I've I've had to do those the things I've had to take those steps.

01:19:47:16 - 01:20:19:14 Patty I've had to to know that I know on a real tangible and I hope I hope that that is maybe my legacy is that I've been able to add something to someone else and they're their wellbeing, meeting their potential, letting them know that they're loved. It doesn't matter what we've been through it. It's they matter. Everyone matters. Everyone.

01:20:19:18 - 01:20:29:11 Patty Everyone has a place, everyone has a purpose. And that's what makes the world a better place, a safer place.

01:20:29:13 - 01:20:47:09 Stephanie Absolutely wonderful. I'm excited to see what you do here on out through your continued high growth phone, and I am so excited to read the stuff that you add to your book. I really am. I'm like, Thank you. When you said doing that, I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I'm really looking forward to that.

01:20:47:13 - 01:21:17:18 Patty There's there's some there's some outdated pieces. It has my old website and, and so I'm, I'm going through and revising it. I was already in the process of doing that. So it's interesting how this came about. I appreciate you guys so much thinking of me and and really appreciate our friendship through the years. I really do. But if I'll let you know when the revised edition is available.

01:21:17:18 - 01:21:20:15 Patty But it shouldn't take me too long, but.

01:21:20:17 - 01:21:29:04 Seth Will consider this The pre-sales marketing Genesis right here. We are doing pre-sales right now. Everybody, let's build it. So love.

01:21:29:04 - 01:21:34:18 Stephanie It. So, Patti, what is your website? How can people reach out to you, get more information on what you do or.

01:21:34:18 - 01:21:47:06 Patty Where you are? I don't have a website currently, but I do have an Instagram page that's called Joyful and Genuine. If you're not, there's not a lot of joy to be found.

01:21:47:08 - 01:22:19:08 Patty Love it. That's where I will. I will post when the book is, when the revision is complete, I will post there and I don't I don't know yet about a website. Can I have a whole program that? I wrote prior to Curtis passing? I'm digging out the archives. Yeah, currently. So I'm finally at a point that I feel like I can do that I have a brain enough to do that.

01:22:19:08 - 01:22:45:20 Patty There's a thing called widow brain that's that's real. The trauma is so great that it shuts down the frontal lobe of your your brain so that you can function. And that that sometimes is a barely functional normal. I'm I think I'm I think I'm ready to do the next steps. So we'll see. wonderful.

01:22:45:22 - 01:23:00:00 Seth Well, thank you. That's that's it's encouraging. Like this is this is what a blessing And we didn't get into widow about just just very much as much as maybe we could because that's that's another, that's another episode.

01:23:00:02 - 01:23:02:01 Patty It's a whole nother animal. Right.

01:23:02:03 - 01:23:29:00 Seth But but I think this is encouraging for those who have, who've experienced loss, obviously losing your spouse. But any loss there is a there's a common thread there. But yes, to see to see you as this incredible leader of a woman that we've known for years and yet, you know, experiencing loss, grief, deepening of love, kind of the rebirth like a Phenix.

01:23:29:00 - 01:23:30:07 Seth Right. One thing.

01:23:30:13 - 01:23:32:00 Patty One place from the ashes.

01:23:32:00 - 01:23:56:09 Seth Burns down and then another grows and rises from the ashes. And and thanks for letting us get a sneak peek like this. This is the this is the producer's cut of your life and your work and your ministry that we get to have a kind of a backstage conversation. Like, you don't have to have it all together. We don't have you know, we don't have to have every single piece in order to live meaningful lives.

01:23:56:09 - 01:24:10:22 Seth And that's true. Thanks for giving us thank for giving us that reality of where you are. And and we're excited to continue to follow and to learn and to and to share it with others.

01:24:11:00 - 01:24:14:12 Stephanie Thank you for saying yes.

01:24:14:13 - 01:24:26:22 Seth I'll probably just end with this. And Patti, you're welcome.

01:24:27:00 - 01:24:33:08 Patty that was perfect.

01:24:33:10 - 01:24:43:20 Stephanie Anything else? He likes to tell everybody that, you know, all the sassiness from our children comes from me. I'm like, I'll take a good chunk of it. But you've got plenty of your own, honey.

01:24:44:00 - 01:24:51:08 Patty That's right. That's right. My goodness. That's right.

01:24:51:10 - 01:24:55:07 Seth And cut. It's a wrap.

01:24:55:09 - 01:25:10:10 Stephanie Thank you so much for being here today. And thank you for sharing this episode with that one friend who needs this conversation. Thank you for all the ratings, the reviews, the comments, and especially the support. We so appreciate you.

01:25:10:12 - 01:25:24:12 Seth Now If you want to take a peek behind the curtain and be the first to know about special previews, backstage updates here at the show, and especially some private collection content that doesn't come out in the regular show.

01:25:24:14 - 01:25:29:12 Stephanie Be sure to join our VIP community at the Forever Young Show dot com.