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Stephanie
Hi, I'm Stephanie.

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Seth
I'm Seth, and this is the Forever Young show. The most powerful force in this world is a woman who knows who she is, why? She is here, and what she wants to accomplish.

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Stephanie
And that's where self-care comes in. As a woman, it is my opportunity and my responsibility to take care of me.

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Seth
Self-care for your mind.

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Stephanie
Self-care for your body.

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Seth
Self-care for your money.

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Stephanie
Our mission is to serve women as they fulfill their irreplaceable roles and families. Society. Business. The fabric of humanity.

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Seth
So let's get this show on the road.

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Stephanie
Avelino Maria Campos is an integrative health and wellness coach, partnering with health care practitioners to elevate positive patient outcomes.

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Seth
She works directly with women to help them master lifestyle modifications. Her message to women no more solo struggles.

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Stephanie
Maria is a survivor of trafficking. Raising two babies as a single mother in New York City.

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Seth
And welcome to the Forever Young Show. Avaline.

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Avellene
Thank you. It's great being here with you guys.

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Seth
Now that we've already been here jammin for 30 minutes, I'm throwing out some swearing.

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Avellene
Where?

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Stephanie
All right, so you are a survivor of trafficking. What do people need to know about that dark world?

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Avellene
Yeah, so that is that dark world. It is not always where people think it is. So when you think about trafficking, you think about what they show in the media where, you know, people are kidnaping little girls or little boys and they're like, you know, trafficking them out to multiple different men and or women or whatever.

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Avellene
Right? And that's, that's not exactly all that it is, is more than that. Right?

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Seth
So that happens. But there's, there's there's another there's another part of it.

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Avellene
And they're part of it. Yes. Interested in I just discovered, this for me. I was going to a meeting. It's called she shield and c and I went, there's a representative for my church just to learn more about, you know, what it was about. I knew it was about trafficking members. And I sat there and I was like.

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Avellene
That sounds like me. I didn't even know. This is like, wow. Maybe four years ago, I can't remember. I think it was about four years ago or. Yeah, I was like, that's so me. And I started to like go into like this, say, had PTSD and and I, I spoke to one man laser like, I think this is me.

00:02:47:01 - 00:03:23:06
Avellene
And I started crying. You know, I want to think in my right now because I when like almost 20, 25 years trying to figure out and put a term to what I experienced, I didn't know what it was called. Right. So, yeah, I was like, is this is this what it is, is this, you know, what I experienced, it was, you know, just that feeling finally knowing what it was named because I couldn't tell me, but it was in any way some shame.

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Avellene
Teen. I was, you know, there's a lot of shame. Anyway, I'm healing from it now. I'm still in the healing process, but, it's more than what the media is, is, is is telling you portraying. Yeah, there's there's other criterias. Let me pull it up for you. I can tell you. I can tell you right now, one of them is you have there would need to be certain things to, to exist for it to be considered human trafficking.

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Avellene
And yes, there's different types of human trafficking is work like slaves, people who work with a sex. These are just sex trafficking with these other trafficking to but one of them is there's a vulnerability. You have to be vulnerable. Right? For me, I was homeless at the time. I was pretty much home. They had both of my parents were remarried, and I didn't really get along well with either of my step parents.

00:04:22:19 - 00:04:43:18
Avellene
Right. And so I, you know, in high school, I was partially homeless. Sometimes. Sometimes, like, I will, like, pay for, like, a room for me to to sleep in or rent a room in the, in New York City so I can finish high school. And I wasn't homeless like I was in the streets sleeping on, you know, in the park, so on.

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Avellene
You know, I was like, from couch to couch, like somebody for I was in somebody's sofa or, you know, and a mattress and for whatever. Sometimes I didn't go to sleep. I was up all night or whatever, you know? But that was my situation. So, I it was that vulnerability, right? The other thing is there was really no family support there, and I didn't have that.

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Avellene
And another criteria is it has to be in exchange for something, you know, so it's not always just money. For me, the exchange was, I was I had a place to stay, like, he, you know, I was staying somewhere and I was getting fed. So that was the exchange, you know, for me. Right. And there was some other ones.

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Avellene
I have to, pull it up so I can share, but those are some of the main things is a vulnerability. You know, there's really no support there. I was lowered, I was, you know, that's another one is being lured. I was lured, into his his place. Promise I was going to be given something, you know, and it was something completely different.

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Avellene
Right. And, and and fear for your life. And I had I had fear of thought. I was he said I was going to be. I was going to die if I try to leave. So, yeah, there was so there's a lot of different things there. And I can give you some information you can share. There's a lot of information on the different, websites, like Shield and the, you know, human trafficking, websites, they have it there nationally.

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Avellene
But yeah, we'll put.

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Seth
Those, heavily we'll put those in the show notes. So if you're listening and watching the show, just drop down into our show notes and whatever platform you are watching or listening, and we will have these resource materials, and the links there that, that you can go to, for further reading, but continue on. Thank you.

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Avellene
For sure. So yeah. And so you have to when you form my criteria to answer, it's different is that you could be a male, you could be female. It could be it could be like someone who's, you know, they were trafficked for work. They're not getting paid anything, but they're making it work. Or it can be.

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Avellene
It could be is different things.

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Seth
And at different ages. Two right.

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Avellene
Ages. It can be, a baby to an older woman. Ideas there is familiar trafficking where it is like like a mother or father who is like, selling their, their daughter, they own children. There's a lot of that I've met a woman like that. She's whole story is incredible for her. That pretty much pimped out, you know, to all the different doctors and gynecologists and and he was able to, like, got her pregnant and be able to take care of it because he was a ObGyn, you know, things like that.

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Avellene
There's some horrible stories, right? So that's my story. I kind of, a lot of the women who first, experience it, they may experience, Stockholm Syndrome, which I have. That was that was my situation in the beginning. I had really, and I didn't even know how to share that. And that just came to me in a YouTube.

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Avellene
Oh, that's what that was. It's it's how come syndrome. Yeah. How do you.

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Stephanie
Know that with our listeners what Stockholm syndrome is.

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Avellene
So Stockholm syndrome is kind of like, you know, when you're in a situation, it's so, like, threatening, you know, you so your fear for your life so much and you go into this mode where you start, feeling sorry for the predator, you know, or you start to, like, align with them. But it's more like a protective mechanism, you know, for you, you try to protect yourself.

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Avellene
And so you kind of convincing yourself, oh, he's had a bad person. He's just trying to help me. He's just trying to feed me. He's trying to do this. And so you kind of convince yourself and I remember feeling like that. But I remember also feeling repulsed. So there was like both of those pieces of me living in my body like I hated him.

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Avellene
I like, literally loathe, and he was repulsive. But at the same time, I'm over here defending him, you know, with, you know, friends and, and and hiding what was happening to me because there was some shame there too. Like, I'm a street smart kid. How could I get, you know, caught up in this crap, you know? Yeah. So, yeah.

00:09:02:23 - 00:09:22:20
Avellene
So that that's kind of Stockholm syndrome. It's just a mix and and a lot of women can snap. They snap out of it sometimes, and sometimes they don't. But hopefully they do. And I think that's exactly what like a little bit smart experience to remember that. Let's be smart like that. Why didn't you run away? You know, why didn't you just leave?

00:09:22:20 - 00:09:34:04
Avellene
You had time. And that was my situation. Same thing. They're really connected with her story, you know? But yeah. Yeah, I don't know if that makes sense.

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Stephanie
Right? Oh, yeah, it definitely does. I'm so sorry that you've had to experience that.

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Avellene
Yeah, I, I.

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Stephanie
Am grateful that you are an advocate for other women and girls and people that go through it and that you have resources. I think that's absolutely incredible, of you to make that happen. Rooms.

00:09:53:10 - 00:10:17:13
Avellene
Well, you know, I think for me, I think this is where why I'm such a spiritual person because I'm supposed to be. That really the stuff that I've experienced going through? I shouldn't be sitting here. Wow. I should I probably should be. I should be on drugs. I should be, you know, just messed up. Right? But it was God and I.

00:10:17:13 - 00:10:44:04
Avellene
And sometimes when we experience adversity, it's that is that experience that we're supposed to experience is that we have to gain so we can help others. Like I think that God knew that I can survive that, that that, you know, I, I can overcome that and heal. And, and I will take that that experience in that situation and, and turn it and and and help others with, you know what I mean.

00:10:44:09 - 00:11:05:19
Avellene
And so that's, that is, that is my divine purpose is to like to show people that through adversity, right? This opportunity for growth and healing and, and just like spiritual maturity and, and all these beautiful things, you know, like we can sit there and be like, you know, woe is me, why me? Why me? Or like, you know, what is my purpose in this?

00:11:05:19 - 00:11:23:19
Avellene
What lesson I might learn, what I need to learn and take from this. And, and you know, it's something that we carry with us, right? Like, I would never I would never want to experience that again. But I'm grateful because out of that, we, you know, out of that situation and brought me to the covenant, my covenant path.

00:11:23:21 - 00:11:39:17
Avellene
They brought me to my children who gave me purpose. Right. I didn't be prior to that. I had no purpose. I was a I was a knucklehead. I was a club kid. I was a pothead, you know, I was in the streets in New York City like that cool cat hang out in the village and got into all the clubs for free.

00:11:39:19 - 00:11:51:00
Avellene
You know, that's that was my purpose in life. Was getting to jump the tourist aisles and get into the club for free. You know, New Yorkers now, you know, you're right. Back in my day, you know, we.

00:11:51:00 - 00:11:52:20
Seth
Know a little about pot in New York.

00:11:52:22 - 00:12:17:06
Avellene
Oh my goodness. Right. So I had no direction, but God had a direction for me. And so sometimes he has to nudge you and he has to put things in detours. And that was my detour. Like, I have friends now that, that was and that's the scene that I was in and they have already passed away from something like cancer or they're, you know, they're not doing really well.

00:12:17:06 - 00:12:41:18
Avellene
And you know what I'm saying? And I feel like I'm starting to live my best life, like my best years, you know what I'm saying? And yes, it's so much because I'm able to take that matter, unorganized matter, right. And create something beautiful. Right. And that's what it is, is taking matter. Taking all that you've been collecting all your life, all these experiences and, and and creating something beautiful.

00:12:41:18 - 00:13:01:04
Avellene
That's what we are. We are. We were made to be creators and co-creators to come with, with Heavenly Father, to co-create this beautiful masterpiece. Right. He just wants us to be. There's the painter. He's giving us all the paint. He's given us the canvas brushes. You know, the palette, everything we need. And we just have to, like, create.

00:13:01:04 - 00:13:24:05
Avellene
And so we get lost in that. We get lost in the mundane. We get lost in the autopilot, and we forget who we are. We are creators, you know, and, and he gives you your material, your matter. That is what you get to work with. So. Yeah. So I, I don't like what I went it was horrible.

00:13:24:07 - 00:13:46:02
Avellene
I would not recommend it for anybody, you know, but because of that path, I, I was able to own that forgive myself. Okay. Was nothing to forgive. I had to learn it. You know, you were the victim. You were a victim. I came to like because I, I, I was ashamed of myself for a very long time. I even, like, blocked it out.

00:13:46:04 - 00:14:15:20
Avellene
I blocked it out for a long time. I thought I was good because I'm the queen of. Suck it up, buttercup. Right behind I no one sucks. Sucks it up more than I do. I suck up everything and and and just push through. I hate victim mentality and I hated to think that I was a victim, right? And I think I was confusing victim mentality with actually being a victim for all those years, you know.

00:14:15:20 - 00:14:37:22
Avellene
And so, you know what I allow myself to, to recognize that, yeah, I was a victim. I was I was preyed on because of my vulnerabilities. It's okay. And I don't have to feel that shame. Right? Yes. And so, yeah, it's just it's just all part of that growth and spiritual maturity and just, learning from your your, adversity.

00:14:38:00 - 00:14:42:21
Avellene
Yes. There's no there's no growth in the comfort zone.

00:14:42:23 - 00:15:08:12
Stephanie
No, no, we call that a is it a high growth zone? Yes. We're in a high growth zone learning and continuing to grow. It's so it's so hard for me at least. You know, being in this high growth zone, I feel like God is continually allowing me to be in it. But then seeing others that choose not to be in it and it's like, oh, but do you know what's on the other side of this?

00:15:08:17 - 00:15:12:12
Stephanie
It is so good. It is so good.

00:15:12:14 - 00:15:16:11
Avellene
Yeah. For sure. Who?

00:15:16:13 - 00:15:18:12
Seth
We could talk for like three more hours.

00:15:18:13 - 00:15:21:02
Stephanie
But only three.

00:15:21:04 - 00:15:24:02
Seth
Lifetime. I think we're going to be long term friends. Have a long.

00:15:24:02 - 00:15:28:18
Avellene
Yeah story. Yeah, yeah. There are so many.

00:15:28:20 - 00:15:35:23
Stephanie
So many quotes that are going through my mind and I'm like, okay, I just need a phone number so I can send them to her. They're so good. So good.

00:15:36:01 - 00:15:57:22
Avellene
Yeah. I'm actually, wanting to, write a book when I could settle down because I'm still, I quit my job like a few weeks ago, and now I'm focused on, starting my own practice and helping my son with his business. And, you know, and, one of the things I want to write is the book is called, Organizing Matter.

00:15:58:00 - 00:16:13:16
Avellene
Right? Oh, all about, you know, like, when I was explaining about those experiences and, you know, yonder is unorganized matter, right? So taking it in, creating something and that's, that's, one of the things that's in the works.

00:16:13:18 - 00:16:20:20
Stephanie
I love it, I'll read it. It gave me chills when you said the title. I think it's going to be absolutely incredible.

00:16:21:01 - 00:16:51:05
Seth
And the thought that comes to my mind, listening to you to talk about that is the importance, of creativity and imagination. More than knowledge. And the reason I say that is because we in our world, in the scholastic world, right? The world of higher education, people often value knowledge.

00:16:51:07 - 00:16:52:06
Avellene

00:16:52:08 - 00:17:17:22
Seth
And that is I mean, that's awesome. That's great. But what creates knowledge, it's experience. It's creativity, it's imagination. It's faith. Right. Faith leads to knowledge. But sometimes we we focus too much on oh I know this or I don't know this. And really the whole key is just don't worry about what you know, what you don't know. But you talk about organized matter, right?

00:17:17:22 - 00:17:43:02
Seth
Or organizing matter, unorganized matter. Whatever it was, I was lost in my own thought there. But how do you get there? How do you get from unorganized matter to something that's creative or something that's been created? And it comes through the creative process, which is dark. It's it can be scary, it's unknown. And we don't approach that as much with our knowledge, but with imagination.

00:17:43:04 - 00:17:53:19
Seth
Right? Imagination is the most powerful, powerful creative force known, known to to men and women, right to to civilization.

00:17:54:00 - 00:18:16:02
Avellene
So imagination and inspiration, you know. Yes, you're fired by God. God puts those vision, he puts the vision in your mind and you get to be creative with that matter. Right? And energies and matter. You get to be he's okay here. And then we get to like, formulate something and create something with it. And that's the beauty of that creativity, you know.

00:18:16:02 - 00:18:39:18
Avellene
But the matter comes from somewhere. It doesn't come from nowhere and is matter always existed. It's just reorganizing it so that it can be, you know, like what would Christ did with the water, right. Turn it into wine. He it was already there. He just commanded the water to be itself into wine. Yeah. Yeah. And we get to do the same thing.

00:18:39:22 - 00:19:05:05
Avellene
We get to do the same thing taking, being trafficked. Right. And, and create something beautiful. Creating a community that heals and helping helps women to, to find their divine femininity and be strong in that. And I don't know if you heard about this thing about meekness. I always thought meekness felt was like being quiet and submissive. But it's not.

00:19:05:07 - 00:19:16:07
Avellene
Did you have you heard about that? The the Hebrew meaning of meekness? It's kind of like a strong reverence. It's not like like being quiet.

00:19:16:09 - 00:19:19:10
Seth
It's not. There's no relation to weakness in meekness.

00:19:19:10 - 00:19:22:20
Avellene
No relation to weakness in meekness. Yes.

00:19:23:01 - 00:19:24:19
Seth
It's not just being timid.

00:19:24:21 - 00:19:25:19
Avellene
It's not being. It's not.

00:19:25:19 - 00:19:26:14
Seth
Being timid.

00:19:26:16 - 00:19:47:09
Avellene
It's not at all. But it's kind of like being strong and controlled, you know, same like having that complete control over your time, you know, over your is kind of almost stoic in a way. But I, you know, in reverence I just I love it, I love that so and I'm like, yes, that's what that's what I want to be.

00:19:47:11 - 00:19:51:19
Avellene
And working on doesn't quite I'm not all the way there yet.

00:19:51:21 - 00:19:53:12
Stephanie
We're all a work in progress, right?

00:19:53:18 - 00:19:54:18
Avellene
Yeah. Well, and.

00:19:54:18 - 00:20:24:08
Seth
You're you're New York swank. I just had to use that, that word one more time in the show today. You're New York. Swank is part of your meekness formula. Having the strength, right? Jesus was meek and gently rebuked his disciples when they tried to shoo the kids away. Shoo shoo shoo shoo shoo. And we can associate that with meekness because he loved the kids.

00:20:24:10 - 00:20:46:17
Seth
But he also was very firm with his most trusted disciples, the people he was going to entrust the future of his church to, at least on earth, with a little mild rebuke. At the same time, the other side of that meekness coin, let's go to the temple. Let's go to the well, let's go to the let's go to Holy Week and the cleansing of the temple.

00:20:46:19 - 00:20:51:20
Seth
That was meekness as well. And that's that requires some New York swank right there.

00:20:51:22 - 00:21:23:03
Avellene
And then when, when the soldiers came to take him. He's a great Jesus. He's a you know, I am he. And they all fall back, you know, like his power. But he didn't pull out like a sword or anything like that. He just said I am he and they all fell, fell back. And that is what that meekness is, is that controlled strength and irreverence and having complete autonomy over here, you know, you can you can have that Thanos snap right like that.

00:21:23:04 - 00:21:33:00
Avellene
And I was going to say, you know, but is not snapping is controlling yourself from snapping. You could is he could have snapped all of us out of existence. We had that power.

00:21:33:02 - 00:21:36:02
Seth
I see myself unraveling right now, like on.

00:21:36:04 - 00:21:39:00
Stephanie
Oh my goodness.

00:21:39:02 - 00:21:40:15
Avellene

00:21:40:17 - 00:21:46:10
Stephanie
So what are you most passionate about right now and what are you doing about it?

00:21:46:12 - 00:22:12:10
Avellene
Well, I think I had. Well, okay, let me start from here about five years ago, I was, thinking to myself, to boyish. I was always a tomboy. I was wondering, like, be like the boys. Even when I was in the elementary school, I was known as that one girl that they don't mess with. You know? I'll beat it.

00:22:12:11 - 00:22:14:22
Avellene
I beat them all up.

00:22:15:00 - 00:22:15:21
Seth
You are that girl.

00:22:16:03 - 00:22:41:11
Avellene
That's the only time that we can do that is in elementary school. That's when the thing even right. But I was super tomboyish, and I just, you know, I wanted to feel more feminine. I felt like I spent my whole life being and trying to be like a boy. And, I mean, you know, like to be as strong as or as whatever as and not dress, you know, feminine or whatever.

00:22:41:11 - 00:22:52:22
Avellene
I hate pink, I still kind of do, but, I won't wear I won't wear pink, but I may introduce a little bit now, little by little, you know, little by little. But, you.

00:22:52:22 - 00:22:54:12
Seth
Know, you're talking to the pink queen here.

00:22:54:13 - 00:23:16:08
Stephanie
Pink. I actually learned recently because after I went through my divorce, I like before that I hated pink. But ever since then I have loved it. Loved it. Absolutely. It's like one of my favorite colors in the brighter the better. And I learned recently that it is actually a sign of healing, as I'm using the color pink or being, you know, gravitating more towards pink.

00:23:16:08 - 00:23:18:07
Stephanie
I'm like, oh, I'm just healing.

00:23:18:07 - 00:23:28:01
Avellene
Okay, well, I'm I'm getting there because I had a pink pen. And I actually have a, a letter, my phone, and I turned it pink, so. Yeah.

00:23:28:03 - 00:23:35:17
Seth
We should we should send we should send Evelyn a pink shirt.

00:23:35:19 - 00:23:42:11
Seth
We we actually do. We we have some pink CEO shirts. Yeah.

00:23:42:12 - 00:23:49:06
Avellene
I might, I might wear it. I might wear it really chilly if it, if it's, if it's hidden right I might, we.

00:23:49:07 - 00:23:54:03
Seth
Might hit okay. If it's got an if it's cool and if it's got enough swank for this cool cat.

00:23:54:05 - 00:24:14:10
Avellene
Got enough swank for the clothes. Okay. Yeah. But anyways, I was finding that I was I felt too masculine, and I think, you know, and, you know, when you go to church and you have that one, girl, you see, and she's super feminine and soft, and I was like, I, I want to be like that, you know, I'm, I'm from New York.

00:24:14:10 - 00:24:20:01
Avellene
I'm loud. I'm from the block. I'm from, you know, Brooklyn in the Bronx survivor.

00:24:20:01 - 00:24:22:11
Seth
Now you got to be that way. You can't be soft.

00:24:22:12 - 00:24:45:01
Avellene
It is really hard to hardcore. And in Paris, being from the Caribbean, we just loud. We just loud people. And I just wanted I just had this vision for myself to be so off and and me and just stay nurturing. And I was like, okay, with that just means what it is to be a woman like, you know, all these characteristics of what it is to be a woman, you hear me?

00:24:45:03 - 00:25:14:06
Avellene
And and the other day, I was kind of like searching in the scriptures. Guy was noticing there was like a ton of Mary's and like, why are they so many Mary's? And then I looked it up and as a niece like nine Mary's that I mentioned in either the canonized or un canonized scriptures, and, and, and I looked up each of those Marys and they all had a different characteristic of of what a woman, I think what Heavenly Father wanted us to be as women like all these, they all were championed for this one virtue.

00:25:14:06 - 00:25:42:11
Avellene
And I just and so I think for the past few years, what I've been passionate about is, rediscovering what it is to be a divine feminine, you know. And what and what all that means. You know what? What the stewardship that comes with it and exactly what Heavenly Father has and is in the scriptures, the he had what we had in mind when he created us and what we what we were, you know, destined when I destined.

00:25:42:11 - 00:26:01:08
Avellene
But you know, what was that divine purpose for each of us as that. And I think it's powerful. I think it's a powerful thing. But, you know, I think the opposition is constantly, you know, either trying to redefine what it is to be a woman or, or or you raise us all together. Right? And there's a reason for that, you know.

00:26:01:08 - 00:26:24:03
Avellene
And so that's that's what I'm passionate about. I'm passionate for women to rediscover, not to be just living on autopilot and just being numb, but just to celebrate femininity and and the power behind it, you know, like, we can go into a lot of things. I, I, I'm, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, Latter-Day Saints and and I have to always remember.

00:26:24:05 - 00:26:50:07
Avellene
So it's not even certain terms. But yeah, there's there is a power behind behind that divine feminine, that we, that we have yet to, I think, really discover, you know, I mean, I think we had it in the Old Testament, in the Old Testament, you see a lot of women who were strong leaders. They were priestess and prophetess and, you know, and I and I can identify exactly where that ended.

00:26:50:09 - 00:27:08:05
Avellene
And it was around the time of Esther and Vashti, when she was when she was, banished because her husband and all his boys, all his friends, his dudes were all drunk and went to her to come and just show off. And he did just want to show off his, his trophy wife. And she wasn't having it because it was girls night, right?

00:27:08:07 - 00:27:23:14
Avellene
She wasn't having it. And then so they were all they were all drunk and they were like, okay, now all women, because of any adventure and all women, they can't. You have to listen to what we say. We're going to do, what we tell them to do, blah, blah, blah. And that's when we learned we lost our autonomy at that point.

00:27:23:14 - 00:27:36:00
Avellene
And we started to really from that point, and the funny thing is, when the king woke up that that day, he, he regretted that banishing. Oh, yeah.

00:27:36:02 - 00:27:40:04
Stephanie
He he probably felt that eternal consequence that he just created.

00:27:40:05 - 00:28:03:03
Avellene
Yeah. Yeah. I think that that is that has been my journey. And, you know, whenever you go on a journey, you kind of like want to bring everybody along with you. Yeah. That's kind of like my focus. Like my focus is, you know, kind of taking back what that is the definition, the definition that that God gave us and what what we are, our role and our stewardship.

00:28:03:04 - 00:28:09:19
Avellene
And just owning that, owning it, understanding it, you know, and, and and acting on it. Right?

00:28:09:19 - 00:28:26:14
Stephanie
Absolutely. Yeah. I feel like there's been a big awakening for women, realizing like, what am I trying to say here? Just that, that we are so much more than just a mom or just a wife, you know, those are.

00:28:26:16 - 00:28:28:23
Avellene
Just a beautiful motherhood.

00:28:28:23 - 00:28:29:14
Stephanie
Yes.

00:28:29:14 - 00:29:00:17
Avellene
That's there's no, it's just, motherhood is one of the most important titles on this planet. Probably the universe. You know, it's we get to co-create and we are portals to, like, you know, celestial beings to come through like this. You cannot just that title. It's just that that bothers me, you know? Yeah. But again, like, trying to erase and and to, make it seem like we're not.

00:29:00:20 - 00:29:03:06
Avellene
That's not important. It's the most important.

00:29:03:08 - 00:29:24:14
Stephanie
Yes. Well, it's so important that I believe that Satan is trying to get men to want to do that. Yeah. Because because it is so important, you know, that it is a beautiful gift that Heavenly Father has given to women. And that's, you know. Yeah. Men want it.

00:29:24:16 - 00:29:40:07
Avellene
It can't go. Good luck with that. I want to save it, I don't care. Yeah, they want it good. And they should come with everything else. It should come with the money. Can we come with the labor? All of it. Like they. I really feel a little bit of it. They see how much they want it though. Yeah.

00:29:40:08 - 00:30:02:18
Stephanie
It's so true. Well, in something else that I've discovered in the last few years is that women, their hormones cycle. It's a 28 day or a monthly cycle, whereas men, it's 24 hours and it's like, well, no wonder we're so different that alone, you know, the way our hormones work and fluctuate and and all of that, it even affects the way we eat, affects the way we sleep.

00:30:02:18 - 00:30:18:08
Stephanie
It affects the way we should be working out. You know, depending on where you're at in that monthly cycle. So be different. Whereas a man can just like, you know, go on work out hard every day. But again, that his his role is to be a provider and protector. Yeah.

00:30:18:08 - 00:30:41:02
Avellene
So he's not from the men's perspective. I always wonder how they feel about being married to to or just partnering with a woman who's like, roller coaster ride all of the all of the things like, you know, you go through so much, you know, is that scary for some, I wonder, you know, I'm.

00:30:41:02 - 00:30:43:00
Stephanie
I'm sure terrifies some.

00:30:43:02 - 00:30:45:09
Avellene
Yeah. Yeah.

00:30:45:11 - 00:31:15:19
Seth
Well, I think that we as men don't understand because again, we're not you know, we're not wearing the same shoes and we're not drinking the same hormones. Yeah. You know. Yeah. But I think one of the things that I've learned and, and my approach is I'm here to be the champion for my wife to be, you know, even though I don't understand or listen like, I think, you know, I don't understand it, like, fully.

00:31:15:19 - 00:31:29:11
Seth
Right. Like there are there are many parts that I do understand and that we're totally connected on and others that like, like she's a universe that is beyond my telescopic viewpoint. Right?

00:31:29:11 - 00:31:36:08
Stephanie
I will say one beautiful thing about you, though, honey, is that you're really good at wanting to understand and doing your best understand.

00:31:36:08 - 00:32:01:22
Seth
And not just discounting. But but I mean, I, I feel like, you know, I feel like I'm Galileo looking in, in, in the heavens at something that I don't fully comprehend. And yet it's beautiful and I'm a part of it, and I just, I, I want it is my role to be the champion for this incredible, powerful being who is trying to figure out itself.

00:32:02:00 - 00:32:02:09
Avellene
Yeah.

00:32:02:10 - 00:32:24:14
Seth
This is and, and, and I think but I think it's a beautiful thing like, I, I'm happy to be that shield and, you know, that that wall. Right where in the courtyard near this incredibly flowering tree. Right. The woman is doing her thing. Right.

00:32:24:15 - 00:32:28:13
Stephanie
So he is very good at doing that too.

00:32:28:15 - 00:32:33:23
Avellene
So you either something high empathy. Are you high? Do you have.

00:32:34:01 - 00:32:35:13
Seth
About three minutes a day?

00:32:35:15 - 00:32:36:07
Avellene

00:32:36:09 - 00:32:42:22
Seth
I think I think, Stephanie is super high empathy. She's an empath.

00:32:43:00 - 00:32:47:07
Stephanie
And I will say for a man, though, I think that, You do.

00:32:47:10 - 00:32:52:13
Seth
That's why I'm on the show, baby. That's why I'm on this show. Is because why.

00:32:52:13 - 00:32:55:01
Stephanie
You got the show, like, started.

00:32:55:03 - 00:32:56:11
Avellene
That is true.

00:32:56:13 - 00:33:07:11
Seth
So interesting thing, Eileen, is, is one. So. And I was born my mom was a single mom. I, I made my mom a single mom, actually. Thank you very much.

00:33:07:13 - 00:33:08:12
Avellene

00:33:08:14 - 00:33:14:15
Seth
So. Well, actually, I just was kind of a product of the whole situation, like. Okay, but but I was the first.

00:33:14:15 - 00:33:19:00
Avellene
Born, so. Good, man. Dang.

00:33:19:02 - 00:33:37:16
Seth
So, so my mom, you know, I have a single mom. And we move back to the family ranch with my grandparents, and, and, you know, I had my aunt who's living there because she was only what, you know, 15 years older than I was or maybe 14 years older than I was. Had a great relationship with my grandmother.

00:33:37:18 - 00:34:01:16
Seth
My grandfather was my hero. Truly. And I can't wait to cross that veil and and to greet him and my grandmother. But I, I don't know, I just feel like from the beginning, I was connected to women. And then, I tended to be. I was a late bloomer. So, you know, my shot of testosterone, like, from the great they.

00:34:01:16 - 00:34:40:06
Seth
It came late, right? Like it came late. I was disguising my voice at 17 years old, and, trying to speak lower than I really, actually could because I was, you know, I was embarrassed that, like, I'm, I'm I'm mostly like, I was mostly right from from from the Jungle Book and and I'm working in an estrogen office with a bunch of women, like, 90% of the people I worked with from the time I was, like, 15 until, you know, you know, early adulthood, let's say, you know, 19, like 90% of them are women.

00:34:40:08 - 00:34:52:11
Stephanie
Now that we're speaking about this, it's making me realize, like, hasn't that been, like, your whole life? Yeah. Like all the businesses you've done or that.

00:34:52:12 - 00:35:14:08
Seth
Yeah. Then I get into wedding, then I become an entrepreneur, I well, yeah. And then and then in my middle adulthood again, I'm working with women in a professional environment. And then as an entrepreneur, start a business in the wedding dress field, not because of me, but because of my partners, a husband and wife. And they were wedding dress experts.

00:35:14:08 - 00:35:28:09
Seth
And we, you know, here we are doing that. And then in the health field, you know, for the last 20 some odd years, many of my mentors, many of my mentors have been women. And many of the people that we mentor and.

00:35:28:09 - 00:35:29:15
Avellene
Coach.

00:35:29:17 - 00:35:38:11
Seth
Are, are women. So yeah, I, I honestly, I would say that that although I really, you know, I do have testosterone now.

00:35:38:12 - 00:35:40:03
Stephanie
Oh he totally does.

00:35:40:05 - 00:35:46:11
Seth
I we just had my blood work done, you know, with, with our naturopathy doctor. And tea is good.

00:35:46:13 - 00:36:12:04
Avellene
There is like a certain man I'm married to one of them. Team. Right. Like he is so, like, tune with my needs. He has a high empathy. Like he actually took the the, Gallup string finders tests. And I think empathy was like his number two, either 1 or 2 and like. And mine's is I like 11 even higher than me.

00:36:12:04 - 00:36:40:10
Avellene
Right. But he but he's like so full of testosterone at the same time. But he can be so like kind and gentle and in tune and like high empathy and really tuned in. And he's like, how do you do that? How do you how is like the unicorn, you know, is either men really know for or in those two categories, together in a homogenous way like that.

00:36:40:12 - 00:37:03:12
Avellene
Often. Right. And I just feel like I'm so blessed, you know, that I'm able to, to be married to someone like that, you know, that, that softens me. He I think is because of him. When you find your equal, when you find that person who is like your person, they balance everything out for you. You know, I felt like, so heavily, like, masculine because.

00:37:03:13 - 00:37:30:09
Avellene
But because he's so full of testosterone. He he brings out that estrogen right there a little bit. The little bit that I have right now. And so how from the menopause, I see. No way. Man. Right. Yeah. He he definitely, did that for me. You know, he when that person comes in and inspires you to be the best you, that's when you know you with the right person, right?

00:37:30:09 - 00:37:33:00
Avellene
That's your person for sure.

00:37:33:02 - 00:37:56:22
Stephanie
Definitely. I've been diving into some of the feminine masculine energy and how it can be very healing to find somebody who is comfortable and safe in their masculine and allowing you that allows you to be in your feminine, it's such a beautiful process.

00:37:57:00 - 00:37:58:00
Avellene
It's funny. Sure.

00:37:58:01 - 00:38:26:09
Stephanie
Well, so since we were talking about it, that actually made me think of like this is your, one of your purposes in life is to champion women and God set you up for that. Like all of your experiences throughout your life has helped, you know, set you up for that and create who you are so that you can do that in such a powerful way to help support and champion women, not just your wife.

00:38:26:11 - 00:38:51:09
Seth
But I'm getting a little emotional right now. Yeah. Thank you, thank you. The thought that came to my mind, although I've worked with women pretty much my whole career, I mean, like literally almost all my life. And I said, obviously we all work with. No, but I like that's what I've done. I've been around them and I think it gives me some appreciation, maybe some empathy.

00:38:51:11 - 00:38:55:00
Seth
And at the same time, it hasn't made me a woman.

00:38:55:02 - 00:38:55:16
Avellene

00:38:55:18 - 00:39:18:22
Seth
Right. Which with which I, which is important. Like my role. I'm a man. And one of the reasons I can champion a woman different than I can be a champion for women, is because I'm not a woman. Right. Because I'm an advocate on the other side of the. I'm going to, you know, give an image, the yin yang symbol.

00:39:19:00 - 00:39:39:05
Seth
Right. Two separate parts, two separate halves that are actually encroaching, beautifully encroaching. I don't say that. A bad term on the other half. Right. If you know the teardrop shape of each side and then which are also have two dots on opposite sides within there, like it's complete integration.

00:39:39:06 - 00:39:39:13
Avellene
Yeah.

00:39:39:16 - 00:39:58:23
Seth
Like I'm that other half. But that has spent a lot of time associating and being taught like let me just schooled. And so I'm happy. Yeah. That is that is one of my roles. That's one of my missions here in life. And that's why we're here together, the three of us, today and forever.

00:39:58:23 - 00:40:43:14
Avellene
You and is definitely important to have, you know, men who are champion and women. Right. But I think. Just as equally as important or more important is having a woman champion other women. Because a lot of times we're waiting for men to teach us the things we willing for them to teach us about the women. A lot of women don't know that there's at least 500 times, or either women or groups of women who were mentioned in in the scriptures, because, you know, we always learning only in the New Testament, around 500 women or groups of women, as mentioned in the scriptures, and we don't recognize it because we're waiting for Scripture or taureans and,

00:40:43:15 - 00:41:04:14
Avellene
and, you know, all these people to teach us. They usually are men, you know, and, and women are not stepping up, you know, every now stepping up to the plate. And I think that we have to champion each other. Do we have to be and we have to be the example and learn about us. I don't want to learn about how to be a woman from a man.

00:41:04:16 - 00:41:06:05
Avellene
You know what that experience is?

00:41:06:07 - 00:41:09:02
Seth
That's a recipe for disaster right there. I'll tell you that.

00:41:09:04 - 00:41:44:13
Avellene
We've seen it. We've seen it on social media happening right now. And, you know, it's it's not who we are. You know, and we can go down the rabbit hole. But I'm just going to say this, I think the perfect examples of who we are and what we were designed to be are taught in the scriptures by the woman who who paved the way for us through the, you know, through the Bible, even in, you know, canonized scriptures that we have in the Torah and in the Koran and the Book of Mormon, you're going to find, you know, women there who have hope paved the way, you know, for us.

00:41:44:13 - 00:42:04:00
Avellene
And we have to learn how to focus on those things. You know, we need to start studying what these women did, you know what I mean? And yeah, and their story. And I just love that the line of Jesus Christ and, women who were coming from some scandalous situations. And I love that this, you know, love that.

00:42:04:00 - 00:42:05:02
Seth
Story, Tamar.

00:42:05:02 - 00:42:27:20
Avellene
And yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. The on the unloved wife for her. She wasn't the one he chose. He chose you got the other chick, you know he wanted he wanted. Rebecca was Rebecca. Rachel. I always get those two, infused, but he. He didn't want Leah. He wanted the other. The other day, the younger sister, you know, but she was the only loved wife, right?

00:42:27:22 - 00:42:53:18
Avellene
Even. Even, from lot's daughters. That's a scandal. You know, the Moabites came from that, you know? Yeah. I mean, there's so many. But we need to learn how to to to read those stories and liking it onto ourselves and pull strength from it. I record I in my story, Mary. I resonate with her a lot, which Mary.

00:42:53:20 - 00:43:18:12
Avellene
Mary. The mother of Jesus. Okay. Because I, when I hear the story about have been ostracized for being pregnant outside of a marriage. Right. And, you know, I just couldn't imagine how people were, like, ridiculing her. She could have been stoned to death. You know, Joseph could have, like, he could have stolen her. He could have had a stone, and it would have been in the law to do it right.

00:43:18:14 - 00:43:44:15
Avellene
And and just feeling that, that kind of shame. And I remember when I was, you know, just got pregnant and the shame that I felt, it was hard because I was in my mid to early 20s, but I look like I was 30 or 14. So imagine, like me pushing a double stroller with these two young babies just struggling.

00:43:44:15 - 00:44:05:21
Avellene
I mean, you know, trying to keep it together, looking like I'm 13 years old, 13, 14, you know, it really young. And just imagine how I was treated. Even the nurses, when I was having my first daughter, like they were ridiculing me in my face while I'm in labor, you know, in Brooklyn, it's just as New York. Right.

00:44:05:23 - 00:44:45:03
Avellene
And so that's why I feel like that, that shame, that society like especially a women is women that are doing that, shaming me. Right. We break each other down is so horrible. We should be lifting each other up. But, you know, even nurses here, you know, and so I in that situation, there's so much shame. And so I just kind of really resonated so much with the story of Mary, you know, because I'm just imagining, you know, just back then, having been pregnant and you're not married yet and, you know, and she to even wait after a year after they get, they got betrothed, you know, before they, you know, they he

00:44:45:03 - 00:45:13:09
Avellene
knew her as his wife, but then she was pregnant, you know, and so I, I just that story really, really, I mean, there's so many more even like Mary Magdalene. I mean, there's so many. But, yeah, you you definitely look into the Mary's, look up the Mary's and and read about each of them and their stories and, and and, you you will find so many values and things that you can pull off.

00:45:13:10 - 00:45:22:23
Avellene
And yes, it's what it means to be a woman. It is what it is. You know, even those experiences we all have, we all went through it. We all went those experiences. We all yeah. You know.

00:45:23:01 - 00:45:26:11
Seth
Time for your, your your review on the book.

00:45:26:13 - 00:45:34:04
Stephanie
Well, I mean, there's a handful of really, really great books. Have you read God Comes to Women? Now.

00:45:34:06 - 00:45:35:04
Avellene
You know.

00:45:35:06 - 00:45:44:18
Stephanie
It is so powerful. It I it's on Amazon. Cedar for publishing. Those are the two places I've purchased that, giving them away.

00:45:44:20 - 00:45:45:21
Avellene
Comes to women.

00:45:45:23 - 00:45:51:16
Stephanie
Yes, it's absolutely beautiful. And then Eve and the choice made in Eden.

00:45:51:18 - 00:45:52:14
Avellene

00:45:52:16 - 00:46:05:23
Stephanie
Is so empower both are empowering and champion of women's. Yeah. And how God loves and cherishes women. Yeah. It was life changing to read those books for me.

00:46:06:01 - 00:46:06:20
Avellene
Yeah.

00:46:06:22 - 00:46:23:10
Stephanie
They were absolutely incredible. But something that kept coming to mind is a quote, and I don't remember it word for word, but essentially, going along the lines of how women shouldn't be tearing down other women, they should be helping each other and supporting each other and encouraging them. Oh, shoot, what is.

00:46:23:10 - 00:46:28:18
Avellene
That shaming, especially this shaming? Yeah. Comparing is just.

00:46:28:20 - 00:46:46:20
Stephanie
Exactly the comparing or thinking that, you know, there's not enough to go around. So you have to put somebody else down so that you can, you know, have that or whatever it is. No, there's an abundance of everything for all of us, and we can help each other and have more by doing that, helping each other and championing each other.

00:46:47:01 - 00:47:02:16
Stephanie
But it's so I'm trying to remember the beginning of it. Something about, not telling the world that, you know, another woman's crown is crooked. Just fixing it, you know, fixing her crown instead of telling the world that's crime. That's what it is.

00:47:02:16 - 00:47:03:21
Avellene

00:47:03:23 - 00:47:07:11
Stephanie
And I'm just like, Yes.

00:47:07:13 - 00:47:29:15
Avellene
Yeah, it just that is the autopilot that we are on. We just we we have been, program to judge, you know, not discern. Because judgment and discernment are two different things. We often confuse it. Yeah, right. What we do a lot is judge. We look at other people, we look at their clothing, we look at how they're taught.

00:47:29:16 - 00:47:52:18
Avellene
They talk the way they're they carry themselves and we don't know their story. We don't know their story. We don't know, you know, where they came from, what their experiences are and where they're headed to what are they in and process of building and creating. You know what I mean. They you know, you know who you are messing with.

00:47:52:20 - 00:48:16:18
Avellene
You know. So be careful. Like I was we were doing, we do like a free Zumba class, for the community in a, in a church building. And so we have like, the majority of people who come are not members of our faith. But they are all sisters, and we love each other. And, one lady came for the first time with her shoes untied, and I immediately just went down and tied her issue.

00:48:16:20 - 00:48:42:15
Avellene
But her at what? I asked her because she's my sister, she's my sister and I. And it was my small gesture showing how much I sure appreciate her being there with us. You know, little things like that. Finding opportunities of service, small acts of service to show how much we love and appreciate each other. It's contagious. It spreads when we do it, you know, and anxious.

00:48:42:16 - 00:49:00:08
Avellene
And so we need to do more of that loving, intentionally loving like going out your door and specifically looking for ways to to lift someone. You mean when you're standing in line in Walmart, get the longest line and make some friends?

00:49:00:10 - 00:49:02:16
Stephanie
Oh, I've never thought of that.

00:49:02:18 - 00:49:07:12
Avellene
That's great. You can find some great friendships on that line at Walmart I did.

00:49:07:13 - 00:49:15:12
Stephanie
I usually make friends with the cashiers, you know, asking them how their day is or yeah, make sure I use their name if I can see their name tag.

00:49:15:12 - 00:49:17:02
Avellene
And I usually say.

00:49:17:04 - 00:49:29:01
Stephanie
It's almost sad to me because so many times it's like, oh, you know, like she addressed me by my name or she she's actually genuinely, you know, like wants to have this conversation and is curious about my name.

00:49:29:06 - 00:49:29:22
Avellene
Yeah.

00:49:30:00 - 00:49:33:05
Stephanie
I like that. I love it, but it's sad, you know, because it.

00:49:33:07 - 00:50:02:00
Avellene
Doesn't happen as much. I mean, that's it is super important to, to to brighten their day because, you know, most of my day job, I know they all right. But you spending most your time standing in that long line. There are people you're missing out an opportunity to really get to know somebody. And you have the time and Walmart is that place because there's always is always on Saturday where there's only two cashiers open the file is going down.

00:50:02:00 - 00:50:24:23
Avellene
So they, you know going to the back where the media stuff is. And so yeah you have time. Yeah. Let's make some, some best friends. Definitely definitely you I, I that's awesome. And I've been ever since I spoke to you know how you when you like for a long time I wanted a Prius. I just love this presented like little crickets.

00:50:24:23 - 00:50:35:15
Avellene
I just wanted one. And then every time I drive somewhere, I see it. I see like a thousand of them everywhere. All right, so the last time we spoke about that, was it LP one.

00:50:35:17 - 00:50:36:17
Seth
GLP one.

00:50:36:19 - 00:50:58:04
Avellene
GLP one, GOP one I am reading and seeing it popping up everywhere. Like, the thing is really, because I always kind of like, associated it with like, you know, the similar group, the tides, the, the, the drugs, the way go with, you know, the example.

00:50:58:04 - 00:51:00:01
Seth
Tours empathized.

00:51:00:03 - 00:51:01:01
Avellene
Like all those that, you know, because.

00:51:01:01 - 00:51:02:05
Seth
I know.

00:51:02:08 - 00:51:24:21
Avellene
I've had clients, I had a client, I was using it, you know, while she was coaching and, I don't think she was really ready to, make those, those shifts. And so she was, like, focusing and hoping that those shots will work for her any. And she really didn't actually make any and she was on it.

00:51:24:21 - 00:51:46:01
Avellene
She was understandable that she was taking the shots every Tuesday. And I think she lost like a few pounds and then she just stagnate and didn't go anywhere. Sometimes she. So they're they're not super effective for everybody. But when I when I was this heard about it, I was always associating it with that. And I'm I am not a fan of the word goby.

00:51:46:01 - 00:52:07:11
Avellene
And, you know, my doc would try to give it to me, almost two years ago when I was first diagnosed with high blood pressure and I was very overweight, and I was like, no, I'm not, I'm not doing it. And I was like, okay. I mean, I was desperate, so I went to I went to the drugstore just to see how much it was.

00:52:07:11 - 00:52:29:01
Avellene
$1,200. I was like, heck no. Oh my God, yeah, people are in line for one month. I was like, And so I'm just going to do it on my own and I did, I lost 70 pounds. You know just changing lifestyle, balancing my hormones. You know I have like 20 more pounds to go. People don't stop.

00:52:29:01 - 00:52:44:23
Avellene
You don't need to. I hate when you see that. You hate that when when you're on a weight loss journey and you have a specific goal and people are trying to tell you how much to lose and how much not to lose, and it just. Yeah.

00:52:45:01 - 00:52:50:06
Seth
Don't rain on my parade. Like like. Yes. Like I'm not letting up off on the get on the accelerator here.

00:52:50:10 - 00:53:12:15
Avellene
And you don't know what the plans are, you know. Exactly. Yeah. To have like that last 20 pounds losing is kicking my behind right now. So the the the leap one. Yeah. Anyway now the GLP one is sounding a little sexy to me right now because I'm like, oh, I need to jump hit.

00:53:12:15 - 00:53:14:15
Seth
The accelerator there Steph.

00:53:14:17 - 00:53:38:08
Avellene
That you know, because you know what? You can do all the things and change. And I was, you know, I'm from the Caribbean. I'm Trinidadian, you know, Trinidad and Tobago. And we have a lot of carb heavy foods. And when you get to a certain age, your body doesn't metabolize them right. You know what I mean? But I want my body too much.

00:53:38:08 - 00:54:09:05
Avellene
I miss my carbs. You know, there's. And, you know, I could totally live on a kilo, you know, quote unquote paleo. But, you know, if I eat, like, back for two days, gaining 5 pounds like that doesn't make any sense, you know what I mean? So I think it's all about healing. Healing from the inside completely. Not temporarily, not doing, like, quick, quick things, but just trying to, like, we write that that you know, your, your DNA so that it's doing what it's supposed to do.

00:54:09:05 - 00:54:20:09
Avellene
What you got was designing it to do. You know what I mean? So I was just, thinking about a lot of that this, this past couple week weeks. I was laying in bed sick.

00:54:20:11 - 00:54:34:20
Avellene
You know, especially when you get older, when you get older, you want, you know, I, I like you like, oh, you look so young for, for 50 something. But I can see my age, you know what I mean? I know what I look like. When I was in my 20s, I looked like I was 12. And, you know, I was mad at that.

00:54:34:20 - 00:54:51:23
Avellene
You know what I mean? I mean, I was mad at that when I was younger, but, you know, you know, older, you can see the changes in your face and everything and, you know, you you it stuff doesn't snap back like I used to. You know what I mean? You're here wanting to thin and all these things, and I'm like, I'm all about healing the body.

00:54:51:23 - 00:55:14:07
Avellene
Like, what? What can we do to heal from the inside out? Especially for women, I think, you know, for us, our there's not enough emphasis on women and all of the different hormonal changes we go through throughout our life. You know, when I went to my LBJ and I was like, yeah, well, I haven't had a cycle for oh, yeah, well, you're in it.

00:55:14:07 - 00:55:31:02
Avellene
And that was it. That was it. You're in it through menopause. No. Like, no like instructions. No. Like nothing like the. Okay, well take these vitamins now or do this. You just have to wing it and figure it out yourself. And I hate that. You know, I hate that, you know.

00:55:31:04 - 00:55:37:23
Stephanie
Yeah. Doctors don't seem to, especially those that are naturally minded. They don't seem to want to get to the root cause.

00:55:38:01 - 00:55:38:14
Avellene
They don't.

00:55:38:14 - 00:55:41:07
Stephanie
It's more of. Do we have something to Band-Aid it? You know.

00:55:41:07 - 00:56:00:17
Avellene
With no effort, though, is it? Yeah, that's what I mean. When you went to school, they went to school because they wanted to be doctors. They wanted to to heal. But, you know, what they're teaching in the universities are not healing. They are teaching about diagnosis. They teaching about how to how to prescribe and how to get even their even diagnose properly these days.

00:56:00:17 - 00:56:17:15
Avellene
Either it's it's it's so much like new stuff now that, you know, they're even know what to call it, you know, just making up names and stuff. But I think it's not their fault. They they came they went into it thinking they were going to save lives and heal. And they come out, came out of it just putting Band-Aids on symptoms.

00:56:17:15 - 00:56:18:23
Avellene
And it's not their fault.

00:56:19:03 - 00:56:21:00
Seth
Well, they're a product of the system.

00:56:21:02 - 00:56:21:19
Avellene
Yeah.

00:56:21:21 - 00:56:45:09
Seth
Doctors health care practitioners are product of the system which is really they're inducted to from the time they're in medical school. Right. Yeah. At the same time we, you know, we're part of that movement. You're part of that movement, as an integrative health coach and. Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Did you see this yesterday, Steph? I'm sure you did.

00:56:45:11 - 00:56:51:12
Seth
Doctor Casey Means has been nominated officially as U.S. Surgeon General.

00:56:51:16 - 00:56:53:19
Avellene
Oh, I do, oh.

00:56:53:21 - 00:57:01:05
Seth
Doctor Casey means as us surgeon general. Hello. Like we just made leaps and bounds.

00:57:01:11 - 00:57:02:19
Avellene
Wow.

00:57:02:21 - 00:57:27:15
Seth
You know, a movement with RFK Jr, obviously doing what he's doing, but but Doctor Casey means, like like she is an outlier in the medical field. Well-trained, well-spoken, well-researched. But she is a contrarian to the entire, frankly, medical field. And I and I, she's a disruptor. And I could not be more excited.

00:57:27:17 - 00:57:37:22
Avellene
Yeah. Me too. I feel it's not happening fast enough for me. And say, okay, we getting the reds out of our food. Okay. What's next? What's next?

00:57:38:00 - 00:57:41:08
Stephanie
Exactly. It's like, that's that's a good start.

00:57:41:10 - 00:58:01:12
Avellene
Yeah, that's a slow start. That's saying I want to see some big things. Like we need to start changing up. Like when you go to the grocery store 90% and they want you to as well processed foods and other stuff and mean there's a little corner of like some organics and some other natural and processed.

00:58:01:14 - 00:58:11:07
Seth
Highly processed, ultra processed. Those are your almost those are your three choices when you go to the grocery store. And I think I read in.

00:58:11:09 - 00:58:14:03
Avellene
Pardon me, do you feel targeted?

00:58:14:04 - 00:58:15:05
Seth
Do we feel targeted?

00:58:15:08 - 00:58:36:08
Avellene
I feel targeted when I go to the grocery store. I like, you know, this big bang Walmart like you, it's like a mile to walk through the whole thing and you can't find a fresh food. You have to, like, take a detour over here and, and then you have to go through all the things. And I spend hours down the aisle reading ingredients.

00:58:36:09 - 00:58:45:17
Avellene
Yeah. And I have to read it on my phone because I need glasses, or I have to get my phone microphone out and just magnifying things. Right. We meetings, you know what I mean?

00:58:45:21 - 00:58:58:10
Stephanie
Yes, I know there's an app. I can't remember what it's called, but, it tells you it if it has like even bad seed oils or anything like that, it, it.

00:58:58:12 - 00:59:01:09
Avellene
No, I don't remember. What is it? I think I had the app on my.

00:59:01:14 - 00:59:08:19
Seth
Whoever's listening to this right now, send us an email, DM us right now. Let us know what we're missing. This is a community. The forever young show.

00:59:08:21 - 00:59:13:00
Stephanie
It was Cami and Jessica, so we'll have to reach out to them and ask them again so I can download.

00:59:13:02 - 00:59:23:08
Avellene
An app that I like that you can like. It will tell you what's clean and what's not clean. I just my other phone have it. This one does not. So. Yeah. Yeah.

00:59:23:10 - 00:59:33:06
Seth
One of the most important things you can do. Well number the one, one of the most important things you can do is eat as many foods as you possibly can that don't have an ingredient list.

00:59:33:08 - 00:59:34:02
Avellene
Yes.

00:59:34:04 - 00:59:59:11
Seth
Right. Hey, where's the ingredient list? It's just cauliflower. All right. Hey, where's the ingredient list? It's just grass fed beef that doesn't that. Right. But that is so critical. They are our food system is poisoned, and people like doctor case in meat case, it means soon to be US Surgeon general. You know, we're going to make some changes.

00:59:59:11 - 01:00:28:23
Seth
And I know it seems like it can't go fast enough, but these are big wheels turning. These are these are big, big big big multi multi multi tens of billions of dollars of businesses. I mean speaking alone about the GLP one drugs. And again we want to and I think you brought you bring this up I believe is we want to differentiate the what people associate with with the GLP one drugs and the actual GLP one hormone.

01:00:28:23 - 01:00:41:19
Seth
They are not the same thing. When we say GLP one, we're talking about the hormone OG. Adam and Eve had it in the Garden of Eden. Well yeah, versus the GLP one mimicking drugs.

01:00:41:21 - 01:01:06:12
Avellene
So what the difference of that is, is that when you have the drugs it's they have a lot of fillers, they have a lot of like synthetics and things like that. And they try to make it, you know, I version of it. Right. So and so when you take those things, depending on how your body reacts to it, we all have different chemistry if you go to that, whereas the other one is natural, you know, our body could do anticipates it.

01:01:06:17 - 01:01:09:13
Seth
The body wants it, says it's expecting it.

01:01:09:15 - 01:01:17:02
Avellene
It understands the code, you know. So it's a it's two different things. Yeah I, I get that I get it now.

01:01:17:02 - 01:01:35:21
Seth
Well I think, I think the way I was, I like to explain it to people is, hey listen drug drugs aren't there to heal. Like if we just compared drugs aren't there to heal. They're here to, address Symptomology. The body is designed to heal, right? The body's natural systems.

01:01:35:23 - 01:01:37:14
Avellene
That's the job.

01:01:37:16 - 01:02:01:15
Seth
Exactly. It's in the code. Drugs are synthetic, right? And ideally temporary. Right. Whereas our body's processes are natural. Yeah. Drugs almost always, almost invariably have unwanted, unintended, and sometimes very, very serious side effects.

01:02:01:20 - 01:02:02:16
Avellene
That.

01:02:02:18 - 01:02:15:14
Seth
The body system isn't designed. It's the loops and the systems are all integrated. It's not they're not side effects. It's called integration for whole health.

01:02:15:16 - 01:02:35:02
Avellene
And then give the creator the, you know, the props here though, they haven't gotten all his wisdom created created our our bodies. And it's and we spend too much time just focusing on one part of the body like the physical. But we're multi-dimensional beings. We are physical, we're spiritual. We emotion.

01:02:35:03 - 01:02:36:08
Seth
National,

01:02:36:10 - 01:02:55:20
Avellene
You know, all these things. And so you have to like when you're healing, you have to heal all the parts together. And that's what's broken in the system, is we focus on one part one, part two, part there, one part there. Everything has to it's integrated. It has to be integrated. That's why we just do integrative coaching. That's that's it.

01:02:55:20 - 01:03:00:00
Avellene
Right there. It's all is the whole holistic community that needs to be healed.

01:03:00:02 - 01:03:21:21
Stephanie
I since been on this health journey and really getting to the root of things. I found that it's been amazing to find a Biodun us who is the same way. She's like, I want to hear everything you know at the beginning. I want to know about trauma. I want to like anything. And then also a hormone specialist that I see, she's the same way.

01:03:21:21 - 01:03:40:16
Stephanie
She's like, okay, I can tell you're getting sick. What happens, you know, the other day or something like that. You know, she's she's very much into, having those all connected and addressing them all together instead of just, oh, well, you're sick. Mom, why don't you go take some vitamin C? You know, it's like, okay, but there's a pattern.

01:03:40:16 - 01:03:44:15
Stephanie
Stephanie, I think for you, it's emotionally. So what happened?

01:03:44:17 - 01:04:01:00
Avellene
Yeah, I, I actually went to this functional medicine doctor for my having a pressure because I was doing all the things, you know, I lost a lot of weight, you know, eating, right, all this stuff. And she's like, I can't help you. So you need to see a psychotherapist, you know what I mean? And that's what I started doing.

01:04:01:02 - 01:04:33:02
Avellene
And it's been helping. And then, like, she could have just took my money, says, okay, you know, let's take this medicine, do this, do that. But she was super honest. And that's what I love about these these integrative, these functional medicine doctors, you know, that, you know, they're recognizing now that a lot of times, I would say a lot of the times like some type of ailment in the body is coming from an unprocessed trauma or emotion that's trapped in the body that we we just continue to push down and we don't heal.

01:04:33:02 - 01:04:40:23
Avellene
We don't heal. And so our bodies okay, you want to heal, you want to focus in this and you will have to deal with it physically. High blood pressure.

01:04:41:01 - 01:04:43:04
Stephanie
It's so true. So true.

01:04:43:04 - 01:04:46:03
Avellene
Cancer. You know, all these.

01:04:46:03 - 01:04:47:10
Stephanie
Things I mean disease.

01:04:47:10 - 01:05:00:18
Avellene
Autoimmune disease, IBS, you know, it just it just throws it at you, you know, constipation, all this stuff because you haven't healed emotionally. And that's how powerful that is.

01:05:00:20 - 01:05:06:09
Seth
Definitely. It is matter. Emotion is energy and energy is matter. Right.

01:05:06:11 - 01:05:28:07
Stephanie
Well, I can tell you from my experience with our GLP one products that naturally turns the the GLP one on in the body. It has completely changed my life. Like I could go on forever, but like even just alone, my gut like I feel like number one, my gut is talking to my brain and telling me what it needs.

01:05:28:09 - 01:05:40:03
Stephanie
And so I don't eat sweets near as much as I used to. And I'm the type of person where, like, I don't have one sweet tooth. They're all sweet, like, sugar has been my food group since I was little.

01:05:40:08 - 01:05:42:01
Avellene
Like.

01:05:42:03 - 01:05:55:04
Stephanie
Oh, so so that's been huge. I still enjoy chocolate, I still enjoy cheesecake and things like that. I just don't eat as much. Yeah, or as often. So that's been really nice. You know, I can eat, you know, 1 or 2 pieces of chocolate instead of a whole chocolate bar or.

01:05:55:10 - 01:05:56:15
Seth
And be satisfied.

01:05:56:17 - 01:06:15:17
Stephanie
Oh, be very satisfied. So I feel like there's a lot of my gut and my brain, you know, communicating with each other, which has been fabulous. And because of that, you know, I've up to my protein because that's typically is like, it's like protein. Veggies are what I typically need all the time. And I still have carbs.

01:06:15:19 - 01:06:16:18
Stephanie

01:06:16:20 - 01:06:18:07
Avellene
But I don't. Yes.

01:06:18:09 - 01:06:24:14
Stephanie
Yes, yes, definitely. I mean, we use a lot of coconut oil and avocados and all kinds of stuff.

01:06:24:16 - 01:06:25:04
Seth
Eggs?

01:06:25:10 - 01:06:26:14
Stephanie
Yes, a lot of eggs.

01:06:26:16 - 01:06:35:12
Avellene
You know what's really good, though, is animal fats. Use your tallow and use your. Oh, absolutely. You know, bacon, bacon fat. Yes.

01:06:35:14 - 01:06:39:16
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we make bacon, we don't throw that bacon grease out.

01:06:39:18 - 01:06:40:17
Avellene
So.

01:06:40:18 - 01:07:01:05
Seth
Well and we just we just, you know, sent one of our, our, our bulls to the butcher recently. You know, we pasture raised our own beef and, and so then we make that custom order. This is how thick we want the steaks. And this is exactly. These are the cuts that we want. This is where we want you to put the burger in.

01:07:01:05 - 01:07:13:12
Seth
And, and the butcher is, you know, a good friend of mine and, and incredibly detail and cleanliness oriented. And he says it's the cleanest butcher shop you'll ever be in.

01:07:13:15 - 01:07:23:09
Stephanie
In fact, he said it's annoying how clean he is because it's almost like an OCD thing. But he's like, but all my clients love it. I'm like, oh yeah, for sure.

01:07:23:11 - 01:07:35:18
Seth
But we say, and we want you to save all of the trimmings and all of that visceral fat so that we can we can render our own tallow. Right? That that's that's the way that we're we're doing it so.

01:07:35:21 - 01:07:38:01
Stephanie
And the heart and the tongue and.

01:07:38:01 - 01:07:39:00
Avellene
Oh yeah, you know.

01:07:39:02 - 01:07:39:20
Seth
Absolutely.

01:07:39:22 - 01:07:40:15
Stephanie
Lots of the capital.

01:07:40:15 - 01:08:04:06
Avellene
Of the heart is a, a dish in Peru that's called antique Antica. It's kind of like it's the heart. And they put it in this, marinade is made with ahi panko, which is a special pepper. Yeah. They, grow in the Andes, but it's so good. You just, you know, barbecue it. You know, it's so, so good.

01:08:04:06 - 01:08:08:02
Avellene
And the, the, the meat is very tender from the heart.

01:08:08:02 - 01:08:31:11
Seth
So we love heart. We typically make heart tacos. We'll need to try this Peruvian dish. But we'll we'll cut up the heart like it. Like tiny like carne asada tacos. Like. And when you go, when you go to a street tacos and season it marinated a little. Honestly, honestly, not very much. Salt, pepper, maybe a little chop rub.

01:08:31:13 - 01:08:42:23
Seth
Cook it in, in tallow, you know, or coconut oil in a cast iron. And then put that in, in corn tortillas with some pico de gallo. And that's that is.

01:08:43:01 - 01:08:44:04
Avellene
That sounds good.

01:08:44:06 - 01:08:46:14
Seth
Amazing.

01:08:46:15 - 01:08:51:03
Avellene
Yeah. I think actually there's probably, like some Peruvian restaurants out there and, and, you know.

01:08:51:05 - 01:08:53:13
Seth
There are there are actually.

01:08:53:15 - 01:08:58:06
Avellene
Cultures on a skewer that you put in skewers. Yes. It's kind of like a it's just about.

01:08:58:06 - 01:09:02:10
Seth
Kind of like shish kebab. Oh, you said that's very nostalgic for me.

01:09:02:10 - 01:09:03:23
Stephanie
You sure you don't want to go to dinner tonight?

01:09:04:01 - 01:09:05:04
Avellene

01:09:05:06 - 01:09:08:03
Seth
Find a Peruvian joint? It's date night tonight.

01:09:08:07 - 01:09:09:19
Avellene
So.

01:09:09:21 - 01:09:31:05
Stephanie
Oh, well, you know, just talk about GLP one. Because I've been healing the gut and everything. Like, I'm not bloated. Like, I didn't even realize how badly I was bloated every day until I got on this, and I'm like, oh, my goodness. My gut. Like, it feels so good. Anyways, there's a lot, a lot of great benefits.

01:09:31:06 - 01:10:05:11
Avellene
I think most of the time when people see the mistake, inflammation and bloating to fat, they, oh, I gain weight. You don't gain 10 pounds in 5 in 2 days. It's it's water retention is nutrition. So all that from, you know, when you're eating a lot of like high sodium foods over restaurants and you're not getting enough or even not getting enough sleep like me right now, will blow you up and not have anything to do with food is just your body is not in being able to reset, restore and repair negative results in.

01:10:05:13 - 01:10:07:15
Avellene
So yeah.

01:10:07:17 - 01:10:26:15
Stephanie
Yeah. Trying to think of what else like a lot of energy. I don't know why, but my brain is just like, what was that like? I have a whole list of things, you know, I've lost inches, I've lost pounds. You know, I, I think the greatest thing is when I'm like, you know what? I feel a little better.

01:10:26:15 - 01:10:32:00
Stephanie
Maybe I should try on, you know, this clothing or this dress or whatever. And. And I go in and try to I'm like.

01:10:32:00 - 01:10:34:08
Avellene
Oh my goodness, you know.

01:10:34:10 - 01:10:45:17
Stephanie
Fit better than I thought it would or anything. It's the greatest feeling. Yeah, yeah. And and because of all of this, I've been able to to work out more than I have in a very long time.

01:10:45:21 - 01:11:07:05
Avellene
So yeah. Yeah. When you could drop that weight and you feeling better, you can do amazing things. Like I started jogging for the first time this week. My son, I always wanted to jog and I never could. I always felt like, you know, dang. I'm also so, Oh, I have to take that. Have to stop. But I was able to jog my whole neighborhood 30 minutes straight jogging.

01:11:07:07 - 01:11:24:19
Avellene
You know, I usually work. I've been working, like, weighted vest or, like, I have a rucksack and a weighted vest, and I just, you know, we would get up to six miles working in the heat, you know, wear it. I love it, I love it, it's awesome.

01:11:24:21 - 01:11:38:07
Stephanie
I so I've heard that when you because I've, I've seen a lot of weighted vests and I'm like, I really need to get one. That's like my next item that I want to get. And I've heard that you should take your weights and do. What is it like.

01:11:38:11 - 01:11:40:06
Avellene
Having 11% of your weight?

01:11:40:07 - 01:11:41:13
Stephanie
11 okay.

01:11:41:15 - 01:12:04:15
Avellene
Starting at 11% of your weight? Yes, yes. Okay, I, I do above mine, I, I take the challenge so I do 20 pounds, so I do, I do 15 to 20 pounds of weights. So I get some weighted plates, to put in my rucksack. And I have if you're going to get a, weighted average, you should get one that is adjustable.

01:12:04:17 - 01:12:21:15
Avellene
Because there are some that you can take out some weight or puts, add some weights in there. Yeah. And there's a, there's a ton of them I haven't found. I looked at an Amazon, I saw a bunch of them and they didn't fit the bill for me. But we went I went to Dick's the other day and they had like the perfect works.

01:12:21:15 - 01:12:40:08
Avellene
And it was good for women because especially because, you know, we kind of have like this chestnut and a friend, you know, you want to know the uncomfortable. Yeah. Let's do they have one that was really comfortable. It didn't look weird. It was like the X-Men thing going on and, you know, boobs going different. It was just it was so it was.

01:12:40:08 - 01:12:50:14
Avellene
Yeah. So I like I endorsed the Dick's the Dick's version of their, their weighted vest and they have different weights, you know, for men and women or whatever. Great.

01:12:50:14 - 01:13:00:00
Stephanie
I have to go check that out them, because I've been wondering all those things too. I'm like, I hear, you know, for women, it's better to have the ex one. But I'm like, I wonder how comfortable that is.

01:13:00:02 - 01:13:09:09
Avellene
I was seeing some ladies. It was not meant for them and they shouldn't wear it. Yeah.

01:13:09:11 - 01:13:19:12
Avellene
That's good to know. Yeah, this one is just right. If it's just right, you know. But yeah, I don't do the ex. Okay. I don't know who came up with that, but yeah.

01:13:19:14 - 01:13:23:07
Stephanie
I think it was actually women probably.

01:13:23:09 - 01:13:26:14
Avellene
You probably did.

01:13:26:16 - 01:13:34:07
Seth
Liveline. Thank you so much. It's great to make a new friend. This has been a friend building show recording today.

01:13:34:07 - 01:13:40:07
Stephanie
I sure appreciate you coming on and and sharing your experiences and your journey with us and our listeners.

01:13:40:09 - 01:13:45:16
Avellene
Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure meeting both of you. I know Seth already. We spoke a couple of times, but.

01:13:45:18 - 01:13:47:23
Seth
But he is real. She is real.

01:13:48:01 - 01:13:50:22
Avellene
Stephanie.

01:13:51:00 - 01:14:20:18
Seth
Yeah, I always say like, I know she doesn't like it when I do this either. I think you should like it. I like the talking about music right? We actually do love music. And and music's definitely part of our home and singing and whatnot, but I would say, you know, and I like to say this actually, like, I'm, I'm the pre-show, like I'm the singer that comes out to warm up the stage, but but there's a, there's the you see the did you see that face?

01:14:20:20 - 01:14:23:22
Seth
But but she's the headliner, right?

01:14:24:00 - 01:14:30:18
Stephanie
I don't like attention. And that that puts attention and pressure on me when you say that.

01:14:30:20 - 01:14:33:00
Avellene
That's why.

01:14:33:02 - 01:14:34:13
Seth
And then on time.

01:14:34:16 - 01:14:38:20
Avellene
There she is. Right. So what kind of music you guys listen to?

01:14:38:22 - 01:14:41:15
Stephanie
Mostly country and Christian.

01:14:41:17 - 01:14:42:16
Avellene
Okay. Yeah, yeah.

01:14:42:16 - 01:14:53:09
Seth
We play, you know, I play a little guitar and the girls and I, when, whenever we travel anywhere. Stephanie likes to play champion.

01:14:53:11 - 01:14:54:02
Stephanie
Thank you.

01:14:54:04 - 01:15:17:07
Seth
I was gonna parade. So, you know, there's a great a great country song by Cody Johnson. And in music, they they they do that together called Long Live, Long Live Cowgirls and one of my favorite songs. So I play it on the guitar and the girls sing it. In fact, I say the girls. Stephanie does sing it as well.

01:15:17:09 - 01:15:18:10
Stephanie
He wrote me into it. What?

01:15:18:10 - 01:15:38:13
Seth
Last summer I did right. We had a little. We had a little gig, for the community. And it was last summer and then. But, you know, we'll be in Nashville staying at some man at some Bel Air, the Bel Air, Latin breakfast bnb. Right. And we're, you know, we're we're just friendly people, like, we we love we love making friends, brothers and sisters, reconnecting.

01:15:38:13 - 01:15:40:05
Stephanie
Getting people stories.

01:15:40:08 - 01:15:40:21
Seth
Talk with.

01:15:40:21 - 01:15:41:13
Avellene
Owners.

01:15:41:14 - 01:15:43:09
Stephanie
Give them value. Right. And so.

01:15:43:09 - 01:16:02:08
Seth
She's like, here's here's the owner of the BNB and the managers, you know, and there's they're like, hey, hey. You know like it's like we're we're we're the Stephanie the Stephanie Mulder traveling show, right. I like just to call it the South American country band, The Shack Band. But she's like, hey, come in there, sing for these guys a cappella.

01:16:02:08 - 01:16:04:18
Seth
We're like, all right, here we go. You know.

01:16:04:20 - 01:16:05:13
Avellene
Well, a lot.

01:16:05:13 - 01:16:23:05
Stephanie
Of times he also travels with his guitar. I think the guy might have said something I don't remember. It wasn't like I just brought it up like it was on topic. So I'm like, oh, you've got to listen to them. It's so cute, you know, to hear our little girls singing with their daddy about how girls like, it's so cute.

01:16:23:07 - 01:16:24:15
Avellene
And know what?

01:16:24:17 - 01:16:32:16
Stephanie
Proud mom wouldn't want to share that with anybody who would seem interested in something like that, right? Champing my girls.

01:16:32:18 - 01:16:50:18
Seth
So recently, we we got the chance to, to sing on stage with a band, and, me and the young girls were singing shallow. Right. So, you know, Garth Brooks has done that, obviously, Lady Gaga and, who did he who she sing that with anyway?

01:16:50:18 - 01:16:52:03
Stephanie
It's not a movie, wasn't it?

01:16:52:03 - 01:17:12:06
Seth
Yeah. What's his name? He just left me. Parker McCollum and Danielle Bradbery have actually my favorite version of that. Anyway, you know, we sing that at home and whatnot, and so we threw in a recording tape and, sent it off and then got asked to to to sing in a how fun. How fun for all of us.

01:17:12:06 - 01:17:39:10
Seth
Yeah. Stephanie was recording it. We we do it. We do a trio on that song. And so I open it up and then, with first verse and then second verse. Hanna, our nine year old. Right. Just brings that mic right up, you know, and just nails it. And everybody starts screaming, right. Yeah. And so and then we go to the chorus and if you know like the chorus is what like makes that song.

01:17:39:12 - 01:18:00:09
Seth
And our seven year old Ruthie that's like her solo part. So we both look at her and she just nails it and everybody goes crazy. And then, you know, then I'm able to work the mic and I'm down there, you know, just, you know, singing face to face with with these girls. And I about started crying actually it was super, super almost too.

01:18:00:09 - 01:18:08:21
Stephanie
Excited to cry. Everyone's like, if I was the mom I'd be bawling in tears. I'm like, I couldn't. I was so proud and so excited about like, yeah.

01:18:08:23 - 01:18:31:02
Avellene
So I we've been bawling. Yeah. I guess another thing we had was when you start getting older is that I could never cry. Ever. You couldn't get me to cry for nothing. I was so hard, you know, when you when you cast a long holding in and just blocking and pushing things down and covering pain. You don't know how to cry.

01:18:31:07 - 01:18:31:20
Avellene

01:18:32:00 - 01:18:33:21
Stephanie
It doesn't feel safe to cry.

01:18:33:22 - 01:18:56:19
Avellene
Yeah. And now. So that's what's going to feel like a few years ago, maybe five years ago I think I don't know I'm at the age where I don't even know how far back things go anymore. But I cry at the stupidest things now, like at stupid commercials. Like about a dog or a dog or like, I don't know.

01:18:56:21 - 01:19:16:14
Avellene
Sandwiches and drugs, I don't know, I guess it's history. Like dumb things. Like you can talk like you were talking to me. Now about your daughters, and I want to cry for you. I had to hold back. I dissect those tears by acting like I literally wanted to cry. Because just imagining, you know? So, yeah. Every episode. Yeah.

01:19:16:14 - 01:19:18:13
Avellene
I'm crying all the time.

01:19:18:15 - 01:19:22:02
Seth
There's purpose in that, though. Like, there's purpose in that, you.

01:19:22:02 - 01:19:46:21
Avellene
Know, that I couldn't before. And then when I started, it was hard because, you know, you feel like you said unsafe. And then everybody in the family were like, oh, she's doing it again. And she's crying, you know, and and then I'll be like wiping it away because feeling kind of like, you know, a shame. Now I'm like, is that it all go face all wet, snotty, just a mess.

01:19:46:23 - 01:19:48:03
Avellene
You know.

01:19:48:05 - 01:20:41:09
Seth
There's a lot of experiences in there. Abilene. And just a lot of, a lot of character, carved out in your life in depth. And and because of that depth, there's a greater capacity now to, for the reservoir to be filled. And the thought that came to my mind, if we think it's a little inconsequential to small to cry at small stupid things, or should we say at, at even just the smallest and most delicate of feelings or or moments reminds me of of God and reminds me of the Savior of Jesus Christ, the creator of the universe and universes, worlds without and Alpha and Omega.

01:20:41:11 - 01:21:08:05
Seth
And yet, as grand as that is, he brings it down to the fact that everything that I have is numbered or named, and even a small sparrow is, is, is not without my attention. And that that's what I think of when I, when you when you talk about being really in tune with those emotions is listen God God's got that like he set the example for you.

01:21:08:05 - 01:21:11:14
Seth
So you know what? Let it flow.

01:21:11:16 - 01:21:36:03
Avellene
I just had an epiphany while you were just talking. And as I was telling you guys, I and I have to go write it down right now, but I realize why I wasn't able to cried. Why was really hard for me to cry. I had no field. I actually broke up with a boyfriend when I was in my early 20s because he had a kid, and he bought the kid and gave it to me to hold, and I was like, I don't do kids just now.

01:21:36:05 - 01:21:59:17
Avellene
And then we. I broke up with him. And now I love children, you know, but I remember I'm just I had a flashback to, you know, I'm from the Caribbean and we're hardcore where capital punishment is not even like this. Even in Spain. That my mom. Well, you know, back in my day there, you know, you get a spanking.

01:21:59:17 - 01:22:22:05
Avellene
You was in the movie cry. It wasn't a cry for. It wasn't a cry for, you know, crying. Stop crying, stop crying. I remember, I had another boyfriend and I found him, that he cheated on me. And I went home. I was super young, just out of high school, and I was crying really hard. And I never go to my mom and give her a hug because she's not very, you know, touchy feely person.

01:22:22:05 - 01:22:45:11
Avellene
My mom was incredibly affectionate, and I. And I needed that comfort. And I ran to her to get a hug, and she she let me hug her, but she said, don't be stupid. Kind of a boy. You know, like, that was her. How she reacted there. And I felt shame. So all my life I've been, you know, shamed for crying because I was being stupid, always being weak or whatever.

01:22:45:13 - 01:23:10:23
Avellene
And and oh my gosh, crying is so healing. It's so healing and releasing and it's so powerful and and allow you to feel like, you know, the emotion. And, you know, I just thank you for helping me to, to to get that as you're talking. It just came to me like, oh, that's what that's what happened. That's why like, I remember I to go to church and people, everybody's crying and the feeling that like, I don't feel this, bro like that.

01:23:10:23 - 01:23:12:08
Avellene
Why why did I cry?

01:23:12:10 - 01:23:16:08
Seth
Now you bring the.

01:23:16:08 - 01:23:17:11
Stephanie
Kleenex making up.

01:23:17:12 - 01:23:20:02
Avellene
Yes. I'm.

01:23:20:04 - 01:23:31:03
Stephanie
Yes. I feel like there's a maturity. And there too, you know, allowing yourself to cry when you feel it. Like God gave us our emotions as a gift.

01:23:31:05 - 01:23:31:14
Avellene
Yes.

01:23:31:14 - 01:23:38:15
Stephanie
And when we allow those to be expressed, even crying, then we're honoring those gifts that he gave us.

01:23:38:20 - 01:23:44:02
Avellene
Absolutely. And woman is shame. Too much for crying. Yes. You know. Yeah. We are too.

01:23:44:02 - 01:23:45:08
Stephanie
Emotional.

01:23:45:10 - 01:24:02:10
Avellene
Yeah. Too emotional. Be in your emotions. Emotions are a gift there. Yeah, yeah. So don't we need to take those terms and reorganize them because they're they're not right. You know, I mean they're not right. We need to start loving each other. Yeah.

01:24:02:12 - 01:24:06:08
Seth
And cut. It's a wrap.

01:24:06:10 - 01:24:21:11
Stephanie
Thank you so much for being here today. And thank you for sharing this episode with that one friend who needs this conversation. Thank you for all the ratings, the reviews, the comments, and especially the support. We so appreciate you.

01:24:21:13 - 01:24:35:14
Seth
Now, if you want to take a peek behind the curtain and be the first to know about special previews, backstage updates here at the show, and especially some private collection content that doesn't come out in the regular show.

01:24:35:16 - 01:24:40:13
Stephanie
Be sure to join our VIP community at the Forever Young Shokan.