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Stephanie
Hi, I'm Stephanie.

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Seth
I'm Seth, and this is the Forever Young show. The most powerful force in this world is a woman who knows who she is, why? She is here, and what she wants to accomplish.

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Stephanie
And that's where self-care comes in. As a woman, it is my opportunity and my responsibility to take care of me.

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Seth
Self-care for your mind.

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Stephanie
Self-care for your body.

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Seth
Self-care for your money.

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Stephanie
Our mission is to serve women as they fulfill their irreplaceable roles and families. Society. Business. The fabric of humanity.

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Seth
So let's get this show on the road.

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Stephanie
So, Megan, what are you most passionate about right now? And what are you doing about it?

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Megan
I oh, there's a lot of things I'm passionate about. It's hard for me to do things I'm not passionate about. So I love people. People fascinate me. I'm enamored by them, their stories. And I love the body and the mind and what it's capable of. It will never cease to amaze me. I graduated in exercise science and minored in dance and I will always keep playing and stretching and pushing myself to be a big kid and keep discovering new limits.

00;01;23;15 - 00;01;53;11
Megan
Because why not? It's fun. And and when it comes to people kind of understanding what makes them tick, what works, what doesn't, what helps. I love, love helping others to see possibilities. When I thought that there was none, and to help shed light on things that people never saw before, me and to help make their life just a little bit better.

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Megan
And so I've, I am here today teaching all the things that I am because of amazing people that I have met and have extracted amazing qualities from. And I've learned, you know, whether it be physical, mental, it's all because of these amazing people I've met and I am so thankful for every opportunity I can to share these little gold nuggets that I've collected over the years.

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Megan
Very passionate about it. And God love God love him so much. Very passionate. Very, very.

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Seth
As you say, freaking love Jesus.

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Stephanie
Oh yeah.

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Seth
I do. That's a mantra that we have from from one of our past guests, Syrians.

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Megan
And,

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Stephanie
She was from on the Pocket says freakin love Jesus. And she sells them now. And anyways, I love it. Yeah.

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Megan
Yeah, I'm a fan.

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Stephanie
Yeah. So are we. So great big fans? Could it be who we are today without him?

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Megan
Amen. Yeah. Tomorrow and present. Yes. 100%. Yes. So?

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Stephanie
So what do you do? Obviously you do. Podcast. You go around doing motivational speaking or. Yeah. Are you using all of your knowledge and experience today to help others?

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Megan
So I do a lot of youth groups, talking about, you know, mindset and emotional resilience and, in suicide prevention. And I've also just last year, I had the opportunity to go speak to the National Guard at the headquarters. And that experience was amazing because it's very intimidating when you come into a room with all of these, you know, men in uniform, and it seems very serious and stiff and professional mechanical, you know?

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Megan
Yes.

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Seth
Military. Yeah.

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Megan
Yes. Very military ish. And so I remember when I first walked in, I just felt so inadequate. Because not professional. I'm just real. I'm not here to impress anybody. And I remember after I started to speak because I. It makes it. I'm it's easy for me to speak because I'm trying to shed light on hope and on God and on possibilities instead of on me.

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Megan
So it makes it a lot easier to stand up in front of intimidating, you know, audiences like that. And by the end, the vulnerability and the love and the stories and the transparency, see, and support that was in that room was amazing. I am just from start to end was such a gift to see and behold, these men and women who do so much for our country, for us, and sometimes feel like they don't have the support that they need to come out and say, wow, I finally feel like I have some resources, and I finally feel like there's hope and a and a process to go through.

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Megan
And I have never felt so fulfilled and humble and grateful, for moments like that. And same with the youth groups I go and speak to and the women when it comes to talking about, you know, there's so much more for each and every one of us. And to break those limiting beliefs and to rise and not allow ourselves to be buried, but instead to be planted so passionate about it and love it and so grateful for these opportunities.

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Megan
And and more importantly, from my experiences, I really hope to help people see the things that I couldn't. So that they have eyes to see things that I missed, things that I messed up on and also help them to be able to, you know, uplift others and show up when before they maybe wouldn't have understood or recognized beforehand, you know.

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Megan
So yeah, I love that. Really grateful.

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Seth
Well I don't I don't have a you know, we've got all cameras going on here. We've got multiple angles, so I can't I can't pull out and ChatGPT. What is this? What is the suicide? What is the suicide rate or what are the suicide contributing factors for men and women in the military? You know, and we've come on tour, but, yeah, you talk about maybe a population, a demographic that that, by sheer definition of the job.

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Seth
Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like very, very, very masculine. Right. You know, whether you're whether you're a woman or a man in the military, there's a lot of masculinity or masculine focused jobs, right? Yeah. Yeah. And, and I would say, just, just the entire, you know, we have family in the military, just the entire psyche that goes into, military training.

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Seth
Where do you, you know. Yeah. Where do you find that outlet for you know, to and again, this is a show for women. So I don't, I don't know why I'm bringing this up but, but I think women will appreciate this. You, you know I had a conversation with you about this. I saw something recently, and I think it was, you know, some famous, famous actor or something.

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Seth
Man. Very manly man. Right? Western kind of a man is my kind of. This is my kind of joy. Yeah. Exactly.

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Megan
Yes. Mentality. Yes, yes.

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Seth
And it's like man don't need no. They repeat I don't need nobody listening to him. He just need the people that he. And to know. How did he go. How did it go. He just needs the people that he's serving, the burdens he's carrying. They just need to know that he's carrying the burden. And that's enough for him for.

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Seth
And I'm thinking here, like, I got my cowboy hat on. I got my boots. And I totally disagree. Right? Like, like, yeah, that, and maybe that, you know, that works for you. Great. Right? A little, you know, a little cowboy logic like, good, good on you. But I don't think that really cuts it in the real world.

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Seth
And you and I had this conversation.

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Megan
Right. Well and even today especially today I mean the majority of suicide is happening to our middle aged men. And you think about especially if this is a podcast for women, the spouse of, you know, someone who's troubles especially for men because they don't have a safe place at work because that may affect how others may think, like, well, am I going to be able to depend on them?

00;09;18;03 - 00;09;38;22
Megan
They're like having this crisis and they're struggling. And so, you know, and so they feel like, oh, I can't open up at work to, you know, my trusted colleagues. And then I can't really talk about with my spouse because I don't want her to feel scared or worried or like, I, she's already stressed with kids. And so I don't I don't want to put that on her.

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Megan
So I just, I, you know, I need a man up and figure this out and it's going to be fine. So I'll just, you know, tomorrow will be better hopefully. I don't know, we'll just see and and I think that's what makes it hard in today's world is that there's really not a safe place for men to go.

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Megan
And I think teaching, especially us women, how to show up for our spouse and show up for our kids and make sure that we are a safe space and how to have these hard conversations and allow them to happen with curiosity and observation instead of fear and anxiety and, assumption of what will be, I think, are probably some of the biggest things we can do for our society.

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Megan
Because now more than ever, the numbers are so high and that just in the last month, I've had a handful of friends reach out and say, I don't know what to do. Like he is struggling, I, I scared. I'm scared to leave them alone. Like, what's the protocol? And there's just a lot of pressure on men today and how do we create that safe space.

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Megan
And so even though it is for women, I do feel like this is very applicable in ways that we can help create a safe space for men and how we can help ourselves in these hard situations, whether it's our spouse or us. There are so many incredible things that we can do for ourselves and remind ourselves what to do.

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Seth
Let's break down some of the myths regarding suicide. It is such a it feels, I think, for many a taboo subject. Right? Because as soon as there is, there is a myth. And I would, I believe there's a myth. I'd love to to get your opinion. Megan, your experience there is a myth that went because we talk about suicide.

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Seth
Now we're going to increase the the ideation, right? The thinking about it, like like how many of us haven't at one point thought about how easy it would be just not to be here. Right? Or like how many of us have thought in our lives that, at any point, I just wish I could, you know, not be here.

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Seth
I wish I could just end my life. Right?

00;12;14;25 - 00;12;17;19
Megan
Yeah. Yeah. Just putting done.

00;12;17;25 - 00;12;44;10
Seth
Putting it on the table. I know as we've gone to, to, some education, primarily focused on, you know, youth, suicide prevention, but but I think applicable to all of us is lesson number one, not talking about it does not protect you in any way from from experiencing it. In fact, it it's probably quite the opposite.

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Stephanie
And I.

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Megan
Silly. Right. Absolutely. You're 100% correct on that. And I think that's what's I think what's hard about it is it's uncomfortable. It's like sex. Like a lot of people are very like, we don't talk about that because it's uncomfortable. So yeah, because we can't handle it. Because we can't handle the discomfort of that. And the kids like, oh, is it, oh we're uncomfortable this.

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Megan
So this we're supposed to have these feelings around this subject. Oh okay. And so we like, create emotions that we plant into our kids about how they should feel around certain things. And the same thing comes to suicide when it comes to depression. And when we're talking about, okay, what what leads to suicide, have you ever had these thoughts and make them more of, you know, a matter of fact, it is as we talk about it and we can be curious about it and we can have really hard moments in it, but it's not something that we don't talk about.

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Megan
It's something we can say, whew. Yeah. Sometimes this can feel a little uncomfortable. That's okay. That means we keep talking it and working through it. We don't avoid it. But yes, I think so many people believe, oh, we can't talk about it because now we're creating the idea and that's that's what we don't want when it is the opposite.

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Megan
They teach and they even say, like if someone is contemplating suicide, we do ask straight up, do you have a plan? What? Did you have a plan for suicide? What? What does that look like? And very the more we can have these conversations as matter of fact and wow, you know, validating them. This is so hard. Wow. I can't imagine how hard things must be for you to feel that.

00;14;38;09 - 00;15;04;29
Megan
Tell me more what's going on, what's up and creating that safe space for. It's like, thank you for letting me be able to talk and extract and get all of this out and bring it to light so that it can, you know, not be so heavy. And you think about a major religions like we are we, you know, say, and we go and talk about like what we send and it's not for them to judge us.

00;15;05;02 - 00;15;29;01
Megan
It's for us to feel better. It's for us to lighten our load. When we confess there's we bring light to these dark places that are deep and hidden. And when we can dig and bring it up to light, it's, just that relief. It really helps to reduce the weight. And now it becomes bearable. Now it becomes digestible to the point you can break it down.

00;15;29;04 - 00;15;40;26
Megan
So I really like that you brought that up because it is a misconception when it comes to, you know, do we talk about it? Do it not. So yes, we do talk about it.

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Seth
Well, it'll it'll change your life when you have that conversation with someone. No. And and they affirm that. Yeah I, I am contemplating suicide. Yeah. Right. Like like your whole world. Your whole your whole psyche, your whole outlook. It just changes on a dime. And you see the world differently because life is so. Life is strong and beautiful and powerful.

00;16;20;04 - 00;16;59;15
Seth
Life is also really delicate. It is. It is on a moment, right. One moment you could be here and another moment you couldn't. And I know, having been, you know, in that situation, you know, myself, it's like, wow. Glad that we had more than just glad we had this conversation, but wow. What what a godsend that we were able to have this conversation because when you put light on something, right, you take that, that, that, that thought, that, that hidden, buried thought most of the time.

00;16;59;15 - 00;17;13;23
Seth
Right. And you start shedding light on it and we shed light on it. You bring it, into the forefront and you lose fear. You lose ignorance, you lose shame, hopefully. Right. And then we can really start dealing with situation.

00;17;13;25 - 00;17;36;05
Megan
Right? Right. And I think just reminding each other, like, yeah, this happens. We're human. We're gonna work through it. No judgment. This isn't attached to your identity. This isn't who you are. We're this isn't your destination. We're we're passing by in this human experience. And this is where we are, right now. But we don't have to stay here.

00;17;36;07 - 00;18;01;29
Megan
And there are so many things we can do to work through this, to move forward and upward. And I'm here to ride it with you and and we'll do this together. And I, I think more importantly, it's just knowing someone sees you, especially to that degree, like, okay, I feel seen, I feel heard, I feel understood. Okay.

00;18;02;01 - 00;18;24;08
Megan
Now I can move forward. Because when you feel so isolated and so alone, that is where shame starts to thrive. That is where we start to have these overwhelming thoughts of you're not enough. You're not going to make it. It's too exhausting. No one understands. It's hard to express and explain what's even going on. So I'm not even going to start.

00;18;24;10 - 00;18;48;18
Megan
So having just someone there like, I see you, I understand you, I got you is so powerful. And that's where we become a safe space. And I think the more we can practice being a safe space, the more we're going to help alleviate some of this pressure and load that people feel so overwhelmed by that, that all they can see is an end.

00;18;48;23 - 00;18;58;14
Megan
They don't. They see them ending things because it's too much. So we can help lighten the load by doing those things.

00;18;58;16 - 00;19;24;29
Stephanie
I don't really have a whole lot of experience with suicide prevention, but I felt like I really could relate to what you were saying because my first husband, had a huge pornography addiction. It controlled, like every aspect of his life, at work, like everything at home. And I remember, going to some 12 step programs, to get support for myself.

00;19;24;29 - 00;19;38;20
Stephanie
And at first I didn't really felt like I need it. I needed it until I went and I realized how much I needed it, how much I needed that community and that support and that love and not feeling so alone. And.

00;19;38;20 - 00;19;39;07
Megan

00;19;39;09 - 00;19;41;02
Stephanie
In such a big situation.

00;19;41;02 - 00;20;15;18
Megan
And so, yeah, like that's amazing. Yeah, I will and when you were saying that, it's interesting because I've since, my late husband passed away from suicide, I've, we have our oldest daughter from, a she was one and a half when he passed away. And I'm realizing that there are some OCD tendencies and anxiety that we're I are coming to surface that I'm very hyper aware of, since I didn't know what happened and why my late husband, struggled the way he did.

00;20;15;25 - 00;20;41;09
Megan
I mean, there was no I, I had nothing. It was a complete surprise to me. And so with my daughter, I'm very like, okay, what's what do we need? How can I help? And we went to have you ever heard of the OCD and Anxiety Treatment Center. Amazing. It is all exposure therapy and we both went in for intensive care.

00;20;41;09 - 00;21;16;25
Megan
So it's like four hours a night for 11 to 12 weeks. Can't miss a day. Wow. Very intense. And I loved it so much because what it teaches is for you to stop avoiding and to start facing and breaking through whatever it is that is like holding you hostage. So, for instance, there's a 17 year old kid I remember who could not walk through elevator doors, kind of walk through.

00;21;16;25 - 00;21;40;05
Megan
And I remember and this is the most it was so powerful to me because I remember he was sitting there crying like a head was just in his hands, just bawling and sitting three feet in front of an elevator door saying, I can't do it. I can't do it. And he knows. He knows. It's possible he sees people do this.

00;21;40;05 - 00;22;01;10
Megan
He's like, I know this, but I don't I don't know why I can't, I just, I can't and every day his guidance, his counselor would always say, okay, well, what are you willing to do today? And one time it was like a millimeter of a step, and she's like, you did a step. I'm so proud of you.

00;22;01;12 - 00;22;28;22
Megan
You did. You did what you could today. And over it was like six weeks after that. I remember him walking through those doors with his head held so high, and he just walked right through. It was amazing. It was so empowering. And I realized, you know, so many times people think, why does God let bad things happen to us?

00;22;28;25 - 00;22;37;04
Megan
Why does he not come in and take this away? Why? Why doesn't he save me?

00;22;37;07 - 00;23;08;11
Megan
And the reason is we would never have empowerment. We cannot gain empowerment by avoiding, by trying to go around. We only get it by going head first through breaking through. And I think if we were to be saved constantly, I think we would be like, why did you keep saving me? I want that, I want to empowerment. I want to be able to walk like that 17 year old kid.

00;23;08;11 - 00;23;46;21
Megan
Did, but I can't because I was always saved. So if we can remind ourselves that these hard moments we're not being buried were being planted, we are having these amazing opportunities to break through something that was so scary and where we felt like there was it wasn't possible to go through. And actually, when we are able to go through the empowerment and faith we established in ourselves, no one can take that away and you can't gain it any other way.

00;23;46;24 - 00;24;11;10
Megan
And I'm so thankful for that, for I'm not thankful for the things that happened. They don't happen for a reason. Nate didn't die. It wasn't on purpose, like, for a reason. But I have gained empowerment from choosing to move forward. I have gained empowerment from choosing to go through the hard instead of around it or avoid it.

00;24;11;12 - 00;24;35;10
Megan
And I am forever grateful that I chose that. It's amazing. I love I love that program and what it taught me and that 17 year old kid. He has no idea what it has done for me. Watching him in his journey. And I think when we can remember, like our journey is on our own, so many people are watching and can be inspired.

00;24;35;10 - 00;24;48;18
Megan
If you can't do it for you, what about them? Can we do it for them? And sometimes that helps us. That could be just enough to give us the courage to go forward. Absolutely.

00;24;48;20 - 00;25;09;15
Stephanie
That reminded me of when I first started going to 12 subgroups, and there was a woman there who was talking about her experience and, how she had two different journals, and one was for all the hard and the betrayal trauma and all of that. And she was talking about how, how grateful she is to be where she's at, you know, just like you expressed.

00;25;09;17 - 00;25;37;01
Stephanie
And at first I thought, wow, she is crazy. Why is she grateful for going through betrayal trauma? You know, like all these different things? She went through my mind and then I remember a few years later, after going through all of my experiences and realizing that I was now in her position and expressing how grateful I was to be where I'm at, and I wouldn't be where I'm at without going through that.

00;25;37;04 - 00;25;37;21
Megan
Yeah.

00;25;37;23 - 00;25;40;05
Stephanie
Yeah yeah. Life changing.

00;25;40;07 - 00;26;01;14
Megan
Yes. I love that so much. And I think that's something that is hard, that some people are like, I know this happened for a reason. And it's like, no, no, sometimes things don't happen for a reason, but whatever happens, we can make it work out for our good. Yes, that I believe 100%. And that is where I believe and know for myself.

00;26;01;14 - 00;26;27;24
Megan
Like God really does make us better. And he loves broken things. When you think about everything on this planet that grows, it has to break first. Like plants, seeds, right? Like the seasons. It's incredible how symbolic it is of like, there are things like there's purpose in our pain. And remember that. And I think it's hard sometimes when you're in it to remember that because it can be so hard.

00;26;27;26 - 00;26;30;03
Megan
Yes. And overwhelming.

00;26;30;05 - 00;26;51;28
Stephanie
I feel like looking back on my life, I can see patterns of going through really hard things and breaking through and coming out on the other side and knowing that feeling. And, that growth helps me for the next time. That's something is really, really hard that I'm going through. I'm like, okay, I can do this because I know what's on the other side of this.

00;26;51;28 - 00;27;02;18
Stephanie
I know that there are huge blessings and opportunities. So I love, okay, God help me through that so that I can get to that point, you know, on. Yes, I.

00;27;02;20 - 00;27;10;03
Megan
Yes, I love that so much. So many opportunities in our life. Absolutely awesome help prepare us.

00;27;10;06 - 00;27;13;29
Seth
And welcome to Sunday School with Meghan and Stephanie.

00;27;14;02 - 00;27;16;03
Megan
Hallelujah. All right.

00;27;16;08 - 00;27;42;29
Seth
Powerful, powerful. You're talking about breaking. And I'm just imagining. Imagining. Yeah. Because I have a love for the soil and for for my my, my, you know, rancher agricultural roots. And we're big into organic gardening and all that. I always talk about seeds and seedlings, but honestly, Megan, I had never really gone down into the soil.

00;27;42;29 - 00;27;52;18
Seth
Like, in my mind and thought about that seed and the process. Often you think about the process.

00;27;52;21 - 00;27;53;11
Megan
Yeah.

00;27;53;13 - 00;28;15;15
Seth
But we we kind of we fast forward the process in order for that seed to fulfill its divine program and potential, it has to expand internally so much that it breaks.

00;28;15;18 - 00;28;17;29
Megan
Yeah, that's gotta hurt.

00;28;18;02 - 00;28;30;10
Seth
Right? If there were if there were neurons there, if there were pain receptors there, like, yeah, it's just the pressure that it takes to break the shell.

00;28;30;13 - 00;28;36;02
Megan
Right. And those are hard shells. Yeah. Yeah.

00;28;36;05 - 00;28;48;22
Seth
And that's hot. That's it. Sometimes we, we have to have so much internal movement. Right.

00;28;48;25 - 00;28;50;27
Stephanie
Growth friction.

00;28;50;27 - 00;29;09;06
Seth
Friction expansion. That is all super uncomfortable in fact so hard that it breaks the shell. But when it breaks the shell then that's when all the fun really starts to happen, right. That's when.

00;29;09;06 - 00;29;10;20
Megan
And that's an it really begins.

00;29;10;22 - 00;29;36;10
Seth
That's when you start going to the light. That's when the beauty starts. That's when all the things that we associate downstream. But we don't think about, man, this sucks. This is hard. This is this is so hard. This is so painful that I feel like I'm going to break. And I, I just had this epiphany that's exactly where we are when we're talking about suicide.

00;29;36;12 - 00;29;41;01
Seth
Right. Like this is so painful I think I'm going to break.

00;29;41;03 - 00;30;01;06
Megan
Yeah. And I think we, we really believe like okay well this is the end. And yet it can be a new beginning. And that's where you just have to hold on. We just gotta hold on long enough because so many times we think that that's the end. This is the destination. And it's not it's not it is just the beginning.

00;30;01;08 - 00;30;27;05
Megan
And when we think about the purpose of this life, it's for joy. But you can you can only have so much joy depending on how much sorrow you have had. So I've, I the thing I love about. Oh, I can't remember who said it. There was this poet, but he talked about sorrow, cons and sweeps away everything in the house so that there is room for good.

00;30;27;08 - 00;31;03;25
Megan
And when we think about the sorrow in our hearts, it it expands and it creates a void that feels like death. You feel dead inside. It is such a great void. But man, the the room now that I have for joy because of the expansion of that sorrow, is so profound and great. And because of that, I see my little girls dancing and twirling in the living room, and I can't help but get teary eyed.

00;31;03;28 - 00;31;53;05
Megan
It's magical and I am just enveloped with such love and gratitude because of sorrow. I think if I didn't have that, I would overlook those moments. I mean, I would have appreciated them. And when Q but to the depth that I see and really appreciate things and feel, abundance is very profound and great because of sorrow. And that's where I, I, I am grateful to have this human experience, to feel such depths and, and darkness to where there's been so much more light and love because of it.

00;31;53;07 - 00;31;55;25
Megan
So, yeah.

00;31;55;27 - 00;32;11;15
Stephanie
I feel like that's what I went through when I, chose divorce. And, it was so incredibly painful, but I knew it was the right answer. And, being a single mom for six years.

00;32;11;17 - 00;32;13;02
Megan
Yeah, few little kids.

00;32;13;02 - 00;32;16;28
Stephanie
And I was so young, I was only 24 going through my divorce.

00;32;17;01 - 00;32;17;28
Megan
So hard.

00;32;18;00 - 00;32;39;09
Stephanie
Yeah. And, not really feeling like many people around me understood. And I felt very judged. In fact, I even had a a woman who, was in our church and, and I thought was my friend, and she was she made a very judgmental comment of, I hope you know what you're doing.

00;32;39;11 - 00;32;40;21
Megan
Yeah. Yeah.

00;32;40;24 - 00;32;44;11
Stephanie
I'm like, yeah. You know, divorce isn't just doesn't happen on a whim.

00;32;44;13 - 00;32;44;28
Megan
Like, this.

00;32;44;28 - 00;33;06;24
Stephanie
Has been a long process with Jesus trying to make sure that this is the right thing, especially with two children like I. Yeah, you know that. Yeah. I knew what I was stepping into to a degree, but I also knew that God and my Savior, Jesus Christ, were going to carry me and help me through it. It definitely doesn't mean that the pain went away.

00;33;06;26 - 00;33;08;02
Megan
Absolutely.

00;33;08;05 - 00;33;17;08
Stephanie
There were actually moments that I felt the Savior's Atonement take that pain away from me, and I was so grateful. And it's, you know, forever impacted my life.

00;33;17;11 - 00;33;43;15
Megan
You know what I love? I love what you said. Like you, you made this decision. You felt judged and you felt like you weren't. You were misunderstood, that you weren't seen. And I think so many of us still that and with my process of what, you know, after what happened with me, I felt judged. I because I felt like I was the one that's supposed to have answers.

00;33;43;15 - 00;34;05;12
Megan
And everyone's like, wait, wait, what's the wait? What happened? How did this happen? It's like, I don't know, but I should know. Like, I don't know, but I should know. And then I felt like the shame in this responsibility and then and it makes me question like it. It's so crazy how so many people around us can make us questions like question what we're doing.

00;34;05;14 - 00;34;28;21
Megan
And and when it comes to like mindset and the reasons we do what we do, I think what really helps us to live our life is making sure we're always basing off our decisions of our values. Do you guys know Brené Brown? I'm sure you do. Yes. Okay. She's so big on like, what are your three values?

00;34;28;23 - 00;34;46;12
Megan
And I remember when she asked me, I was like, I don't know, because I was very like people pleasing and wanting to do like help people where I could and be that mom and, but also make sure that like the decisions are making for Brooklyn like so and so I was going to approve like literally what am I doing?

00;34;46;12 - 00;35;08;25
Megan
Like and the comments that my friend made, you know, about like me and how I'm handling my kid, it's like, oh, maybe, you know, am I gentle parenting? Like, am I, am I a pushover? It's like, no, I'm not a pushover. Why do I let you convince me that I'm a pushover? I'm not this and and it's so interesting how what our values are can really help us to go through those phases of life.

00;35;08;25 - 00;35;32;03
Megan
Like you said, you felt unseen. You felt judged. And I think when we have those strong values, it makes it so much easier to be like, okay, you can say whatever, but I'm good. I'm like, I'm, I'm doing the right thing and you don't have to agree. And that's okay. But I feel so proud of myself for being an align with my values.

00;35;32;05 - 00;35;55;09
Megan
And my young self. Like, I was 25 when my husband passed away, or 27, I'm sorry, 27. And being that young, you know, it's you really. You're still learning what your values are. And it's so hard to, like, navigate the judgments and, you know, whether people see you or not. And it it just complicates things. It's so hard.

00;35;55;11 - 00;36;18;05
Megan
So I see you, I see what your 24 young self. And it's those little things. It's like love from other people makes all the difference. Just that love and kindness. We're like, why are we here thinking that we know better than these other people? Wait, why do we think that? I don't I don't get that. We don't.

00;36;18;07 - 00;36;20;09
Megan
Why can't we be curious?

00;36;20;11 - 00;36;40;01
Stephanie
Like, yeah, that experience or just experiences going through that? My divorce took over a year, so there was a lot of, alone with God and Jesus. While they, my children were gone at her dad's and, really trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted moving forward and how to navigate all of that.

00;36;40;01 - 00;37;10;23
Stephanie
And, it really grounded me. I know that there there have been, things that I've heard from therapists of don't date for at least a year. And I felt like God really helped me to take that, because my divorce took over a year and really ground myself and figure out who I was, where I was going, which also helped me to navigate being a single mother, not just a mother, but being single out in in the world again and sure.

00;37;10;23 - 00;37;12;28
Stephanie
And oh my heavens, yes.

00;37;13;00 - 00;37;15;06
Megan
Plus plus plus this. Oh, yes.

00;37;15;12 - 00;37;15;27
Stephanie
Right.

00;37;15;27 - 00;37;18;00
Megan
Yeah. Yeah.

00;37;18;02 - 00;37;33;24
Stephanie
And it really helped me to, have those standards to find my husband now, who has been, you know, the greatest blessing ever. We're actually going to celebrate our ten year anniversary on Thursday this week.

00;37;33;26 - 00;37;36;22
Megan
Yeah. The anniversary. That's amazing. Oh.

00;37;36;22 - 00;37;37;10
Stephanie
Thank you.

00;37;37;13 - 00;37;38;17
Megan
That's awesome.

00;37;38;24 - 00;38;14;00
Stephanie
You were talking about, because you went through the deaths and how much joy, you feel now and and the depth of that joy, matches or exceeds the the depth of the sorrow that was felt. And, you know, there were so many times being that single mom and being misunderstood or, just not having the support, emotionally, that I was longing for and, you know, needing to rely on, on my savior and my Heavenly father.

00;38;14;02 - 00;38;44;24
Stephanie
But it it it led me to my spouse and our new blended family and created that room for that joy. And I could tell you that, I and we we've discussed this before so I can say we, the joy that we have felt is bigger and deeper than we've ever felt before. We knew each other. And it's so beautiful, such a beautiful gift to be able to have that.

00;38;44;26 - 00;38;53;28
Megan
Oh, I love that. And so happy that you found that. That's so wonderful. Thank you. Happy. Yeah. Good for you.

00;38;54;00 - 00;39;19;01
Seth
Values, values you're talking about. You needed a year to find out who you were. In other words, what are my values? What are my values. Not our values as a couple. Yeah. What are my values as an individual? Right. Megan. Brené Brown I can imagine you're just looking at you and saying, Megan, so what are your three values?

00;39;19;03 - 00;39;47;11
Megan
Yeah. And I love that question because I, I have to go back to them and sometimes I change them here and there. Right. But my first value is always do what's right over what's easy. And then my second is family. And then my third one is meaningful work. And so what I have, because I struggled with boundaries because I want to help everyone like, and I grew up as a very competitive gymnast.

00;39;47;11 - 00;40;12;01
Megan
And so it's like, if I'm not laying on the ground passed out, then I didn't quite do enough. And so it's just always like, well, I'm available, so that means I can. Yes. I'm good. Let's go. I can help you. Of course I can do that. And, you know, so I never had these boundaries because then I become physically ill from not saying no or finding balance.

00;40;12;01 - 00;40;33;18
Megan
So once I establish these boundaries, it makes it easier. Not boundaries. Sorry. Once I established the values, it helped create boundaries. Because now it's like okay is this what's right? Is this what's easy or is this good for my family or is this bad for my family. Or is this meaningful work or is this not quite important?

00;40;33;18 - 00;40;55;17
Megan
Is there more important things for me to do. And so it really helps me to estab push the boundaries. And it makes it a lot easier for me to say no, because I'm aligning my decisions with my values, and I'm so grateful for that. Brené Brown, thank you so much. Because it was a struggle. It was a big struggle until then.

00;40;55;17 - 00;41;17;03
Megan
And and even with work like the world's, how it works so many times, I think we have so much pressure of, I need to be more and and I should be, you know, monetizing these opportunities and I should be, you know, and it just gets really heavy and loud and fast. And then it's like, you know, like I'm like missing the bigger picture here.

00;41;17;03 - 00;41;24;22
Megan
Like, is this meaningful? Do I feel fulfilled if I feel fulfilled, I can give a heck a lot more than if I don't.

00;41;24;24 - 00;41;25;11
Stephanie
Amen.

00;41;25;12 - 00;41;47;29
Megan
That's why I have to. Yes. So I have to keep pulling the reins back on like, yes, this is fun. And like, cool, but I'm not super passionate about it. So I'm going to, you know, retract a little bit and make sure I'm going in that direction, because that's where I'm passionate and that's where I feel fulfilled. And so yeah, values help us in so many regards in direction.

00;41;48;01 - 00;42;12;01
Megan
And I think based off of your values and and your relationship with God, I think if you really live by those, you can't make a wrong decision. I think you will always be moving in the direction you're meant to go, and you won't be living life passively. It won't be happening to you. You'll be taking the reins of it and finding direction.

00;42;12;03 - 00;42;20;27
Megan
So values are very, very important when it comes to knowing like how do I manage life? What are your values? Absolutely.

00;42;20;29 - 00;42;24;12
Stephanie
Especially when you have such a big heart, you know, and you talk about.

00;42;24;15 - 00;42;25;02
Megan
How.

00;42;25;04 - 00;42;43;22
Stephanie
To say yes to everything and helping everybody. Yes. Oh my goodness, it's so hard, especially when you see so many people struggling. Yes, I know I could help them all at the same time, you know, is that going to take away from you and deplete you and your your family. Right. It's very important.

00;42;43;24 - 00;42;59;22
Megan
Yes, it is. And good. Like, what are they called, like checks, like checkpoints to be like, oh yeah, I'm what am I doing. Go back like, you know, I'll get my direction again. I'm going off of off the path. Definitely. All those things.

00;42;59;22 - 00;43;01;10
Stephanie
Of course. Correct.

00;43;01;12 - 00;43;07;19
Megan
Yes. Thank you. That's the word course correction. Thank you. Erin, is your value.

00;43;07;19 - 00;43;42;20
Seth
I love what you said. Your values help you determine your boundaries. If your focus is on the moment and whatever stimulus is coming at you, request feeling emotion, right? Experience whatever's happening in your environment. You will always be blown around by your own emotions, by somebody else's, you know, requests for emotions and your values define your path. They help you intensify that so that you can focus on your work.

00;43;42;22 - 00;43;57;01
Seth
Right. Like I, I this is so crazy. Like I've thought a lot about values, but when you said that, you know, the Brené Brown's question, I thought she was, do I have that? Look, I know I have values, otherwise I wouldn't be here.

00;43;57;03 - 00;43;57;12
Megan
Of course.

00;43;57;15 - 00;44;23;16
Seth
I started thinking today, right now, like based on my experience, like what is important to me. And as soon as you start thinking about that, you you're able to say no to the things that are outside of your concern and able to say yes to to your mission, right, to the things that are really important.

00;44;23;18 - 00;44;26;17
Megan
Yes, 100%. Yeah.

00;44;26;20 - 00;44;40;29
Seth
The old Greek, it's the old Greek adage no self. But when you don't know yourself, when you don't know what your values are, then, then, then you might just wake up one day and not know who you are, right?

00;44;41;01 - 00;45;08;18
Megan
Right. Well. And you and you think about, you know, it's. We are we live in such an impulsive generation. And when we do have our values established, we will show up for our future self every time. You are going to be basing decisions off of like, this is who I am. This is the direction. This is a person I choose to be, and I'm going to practice showing up as this person.

00;45;08;18 - 00;45;34;02
Megan
I may fall short sometimes, but this is the ultimate goal. And knowing that that's eventually what you want to be, you're going to continue to practice and show up as that person. And I think that is one of the most enlightening things that I've learned is, wow, values are huge, huge. And it's one thing we have values. But when we don't have like real like the top three, when she said name only three, what are your top three?

00;45;34;02 - 00;45;42;19
Megan
I thought. I don't shoot, that's that's the little that's hard. Like five.

00;45;42;21 - 00;45;42;27
Seth
Yeah.

00;45;42;27 - 00;45;43;20
Megan
Give me five.

00;45;43;21 - 00;45;48;25
Seth
Give me 5 or 10. I'll just start listing all of the things that I learned in Sunday school. Right. You know, I.

00;45;48;29 - 00;46;16;29
Megan
Was like, you know, like, just give me five, but like three. Whoa. Because it really, really fine tunes. What is most important, like good, better best, what is best and what is going to help you to fulfill your mission, your purpose, what you're passionate about, and what's going to help you to show up as that person and help you to do those things?

00;46;17;01 - 00;46;37;08
Megan
So I just, I that is something that I absolutely love and wish everyone knew is just know your three values, because when you're out of the alignment of those three values, it's you're going to feel different. Like, okay, tomorrow I'm going to do better because I am going to do what's right, not what's easy. Today I did what was easy.

00;46;37;10 - 00;47;01;11
Megan
Not tomorrow. I'm going to show up as like, I'm going to do what is right no matter how hard it is and, you know, whatever it may be. But I think that helps gives us so much direction and and almost like a little, like a ladder to keep climbing. Because each day with these values, we kind of keep checking, like in my in alignment or am I off?

00;47;01;11 - 00;47;11;11
Megan
No, I'm off, I'm getting back on. So I just think that's so impactful and such a huge help.

00;47;11;14 - 00;47;28;04
Stephanie
There's a quote that I heard years ago, and I think it really helped me to realize more of my value. And it was, not necessarily who am I, but who's am I?

00;47;28;06 - 00;48;06;10
Megan
I love that so much. Yeah. So, so much. And why when you said that. So that reminds me. So again, with losing Nate and even my dad to pancreatic cancer the year before, you know, there's been so much sorrow and and yet so much awakening because we are spiritual beings, and these moments are our moments, and I love I think it's Elder Dorf, but he talks about how there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.

00;48;06;13 - 00;48;34;17
Megan
And that gives me so much hope for me in my natural man, my inner animal. You know that I fail time and time again and fall short. And it's like there are always new beginnings. I get to try again tomorrow, and even at the end of my life, once I've done everything I can. Like this, isn't it that there's there's only everlasting beginnings?

00;48;34;20 - 00;49;00;03
Megan
And what a hopeful concept to cling to in those moments that feel like there's nothing but endings. And I'm. I'm so grateful for that. And I have felt that in my life. Like the really, it's not over there, just they've now graduated to life and they're starting that next phase and it's hard but really neat to think of in that regard.

00;49;00;06 - 00;49;04;05
Stephanie
Yeah, definitely gives me comfort thinking of it in that regard.

00;49;04;07 - 00;49;05;22
Megan
Yeah, yeah, I.

00;49;05;27 - 00;49;11;06
Stephanie
Went through my divorce. My grandmother was dying of ovarian cancer.

00;49;11;09 - 00;49;12;25
Megan
So.

00;49;12;27 - 00;49;38;04
Stephanie
It it really and then, you know, 13, 14 years later, my grandfather passed away and I was really, really close to him because, you know, I lost my spouse at the same time. He lost his house. And now we bonded us. And, he did say, which did give me a little bit of, validation of what I was going through.

00;49;38;06 - 00;49;45;03
Stephanie
He said, you know, I would much rather be in my position than yours, because at least I know where my spouse's.

00;49;45;05 - 00;49;46;16
Megan
Oh, he knew his.

00;49;46;16 - 00;49;54;28
Stephanie
Spouse was in heaven with Jesus and God and and that one day he would be reunited with her. He never dated again, which I was shocked.

00;49;55;01 - 00;49;59;16
Megan
Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. But.

00;49;59;18 - 00;50;19;29
Stephanie
It was, it just very comforting, especially since he passed. Also just knowing, knowing that, you know, they're there on the other side, you know, working on things and helping to support me in my mission in life and my family and, and, knowing that, you know, it wasn't the end that I. Right again, even though I miss them, I will.

00;50;19;29 - 00;50;35;16
Megan
Still see them, of course. Right. It's like, man, they're in a building I can't get access to. Yeah, but I will one day. Yes. One day. Definitely. That is so amazing. I love that strategic pause.

00;50;35;16 - 00;51;12;23
Seth
All right, everybody who's listening. Watching right now. All right. This is your invitation from Megan, Stephanie, Seth and Brené Brown. What are your three top values? Okay. Take today take five minutes. Right. It's not the this is not your final answer. Right. And you're not graded on this. Nobody's grading you. But what are your top. What are your three top values important to you right now that that you want to continue to base your life on and, write them down for yourself.

00;51;12;23 - 00;51;37;16
Seth
And we would love, love, love if you would share them with us. Promise that if you, if your email us, when you email us, we will we will respond with wherever we are with our three right now. I wrote down three that are really important to me right now. And I'm like mulling over my head. I just got I got all this creativity going, but, let's us at the Forever Young show at gmail.com, the Forever Young show at gmail.com.

00;51;37;16 - 00;51;44;06
Seth
Let us know what are your top three values? We would love, love, love to support and validate and champion that with you.

00;51;44;09 - 00;51;46;05
Stephanie
Are you going to share yours now?

00;51;46;07 - 00;51;49;18
Seth
You're going to share yours. I, I know you've been talking I've.

00;51;49;18 - 00;51;51;00
Stephanie
Been talking.

00;51;51;03 - 00;51;51;17
Megan
A little bit.

00;51;51;17 - 00;51;57;06
Stephanie
About it. I loved I think I'm super in alignment with what Megan said.

00;51;57;09 - 00;51;58;18
Megan
Her top three.

00;51;58;20 - 00;52;01;03
Stephanie
But other than that, I haven't, you know.

00;52;01;05 - 00;52;03;10
Seth
You haven't had your own personal time to devour it, right?

00;52;03;10 - 00;52;04;20
Megan
Like, yeah. Yeah.

00;52;04;22 - 00;52;26;28
Seth
So here's what came to my mind right now is I thought a few things. Number one, longevity. Longevity. Okay. You're like, well, how's that of longevity? Longevity is a value that it that that causes me to say what it what am what am I doing today that is going to live on? You talk about everlasting beginnings, right.

00;52;26;28 - 00;52;47;08
Seth
And continuing. And I, as I look back in my life, I'm like, yeah, this this has been important to me. If we look at a business aspect, I don't want to just simply work so that I can feed myself today. How can I create something of value that's going to have longevity, that's going to have legs, a run?

00;52;47;08 - 00;53;08;09
Seth
That's a long term. Right. You know, we we, you know, having, having been divorced and, and essentially, you know, lost real depth and intimacy with, with, you know, multiple of my children. Right. Which just is so hard as a dad.

00;53;08;11 - 00;53;09;09
Megan
Right? Yeah.

00;53;09;12 - 00;53;32;12
Seth
For years I've been saying I'm playing the long game. One day we're going to be playing together again. One day we're going to be. We're going to be talking and and exchanging and laughing. That's longevity, right? Like that. Like I'm in for longevity. So that's number one okay. And then Steph of course we're on ten years. We're really working on our first thousand.

00;53;32;13 - 00;53;33;12
Seth
Like for us to take.

00;53;33;18 - 00;53;33;28
Megan
Love.

00;53;33;28 - 00;53;43;27
Seth
It. Eternity is a long time. Can we just can we just put the first that you know you heard about that seven year itch. No, no. Let's put down the first thousand years and then we can evaluate, okay.

00;53;44;03 - 00;53;45;14
Megan
Love that.

00;53;45;17 - 00;54;09;13
Seth
Number two, creativity. Like just this idea that creativity is means that we are creators. So I want to be in creator phase as opposed to I want to live in creative phase as opposed to being satisfied with consumer face.

00;54;09;15 - 00;54;10;26
Megan
Right of that.

00;54;10;29 - 00;54;29;19
Seth
Right. But creativity also being that concept of that value where like anything is possible, like it's faith if we're, if we're going to put the spiritual word and creativity, it is faith, right. But I love that word creativity so much that.

00;54;29;20 - 00;54;30;29
Megan
Yeah.

00;54;31;01 - 00;54;54;02
Seth
And and then the last word is valor. And because for me, like years ago, I went to, a seminar, very small, intimate seminar. Actually, I took my kids to a youth seminar and stuck around because I'm just a big kid. And,

00;54;54;04 - 00;54;54;18
Stephanie
As we all.

00;54;54;18 - 00;54;56;14
Megan
Should be. And I love it.

00;54;56;16 - 00;55;25;10
Seth
And the speaker, was was talking about what's your mission in life, right? Aligning your values, what's important to you. And basically throughout seven missions, like, are you here to heal the world or heal? Heal the sick, clothe the naked, feed the hungry, right. And then he went on, you know, and I don't remember moth top of my head, but,

00;55;25;12 - 00;55;34;08
Seth
Oh, I teach the truth. Right? You have some people are just like their teachers. And I think it's nonsense. Right? Like that. That dude is a teacher.

00;55;34;08 - 00;55;35;21
Stephanie
He has right of you.

00;55;35;26 - 00;55;40;21
Megan
Really? Yes. Oh, wow. That's. I love that.

00;55;40;23 - 00;56;08;24
Seth
I feel like I should button up my color. No, I'm going to be creative. I'm just going to let it all hang loose. No, but one of those was to liberate the captives. And so he went through all of these, and we had a little end, a little, you know, dialog as I was thinking about those like, what was the number one thing like, like clothing, the naked and feeding for those are all important things to me.

00;56;08;24 - 00;56;13;06
Seth
I and I recognized again tell me all the value. Well, they're all important, right?

00;56;13;06 - 00;56;14;12
Megan
I know.

00;56;14;14 - 00;56;40;28
Seth
Your mission. How can your mission be to be all of them today? Now, probably not the season, right? I mean, we're involved in the health world and and, like, we're healing the sick. Like, I get that. I feel that as part of who I am. But I will tell you that day and what he what he did during this, during this, this, seminar was consider where does your heart draw you?

00;56;41;01 - 00;57;11;29
Seth
And maybe that's what I would suggest for everybody who's listening or watching. When you're thinking about these values, where does your heart draw you? Not just your head. Right. What should I be right? What do you feel drawn to innately in your soul or in your heart? And I would tell you when he said, liberate the captive. And he had you stand up basically, when you know, a right hand like that was me, that like, that's what I want to do.

00;57;11;29 - 00;57;28;25
Seth
I want to liberate the captive. Right? I love that. And so where does valor come in? Valor is the current valor is is I don't want to say that stoic ness, but it's that courage, you know, that, that honor.

00;57;28;28 - 00;57;29;18
Stephanie
The courage.

00;57;29;25 - 00;57;53;14
Seth
But it's it's really the the child of compassion. What? Why would you be out to liberate the captive? Is it simply to put a medal on? Is it a have a purple heart, right? Or the Silver cross? Right? Is it so that, you know, you you can stand over all the other gladiators, right? You know. Wait. Bloody sword.

00;57;53;14 - 00;57;56;01
Seth
Sorry.

00;57;56;03 - 00;57;57;12
Megan
That's right though, right?

00;57;57;15 - 00;58;12;16
Seth
To say that you won. Now it's who you are fighting for, you know. Yeah. Thinking about. So anyway, valor for me is is the combination or it's the child of courage and strength with compassion. Right.

00;58;12;18 - 00;58;37;04
Megan
So I love that. Like what you said just that last part because it's like you really when you pay attention to our intentions, that is where I think you really become, like, reborn in that sense of purpose. And I don't think enough people are paying attention to their intentions. And so I love what you said. It's like Butler.

00;58;37;04 - 00;58;49;00
Megan
It's not just about it's not about a medal. It's not it's not about it's about serving. It's about helping the needy. Right? I just I think that's amazing. That's so cool. Yeah. Wow.

00;58;49;08 - 00;58;52;19
Stephanie
I have a lot to think about.

00;58;52;22 - 00;58;59;00
Megan
Don't we all don't. Oh, yes.

00;58;59;02 - 00;59;07;09
Stephanie
One thing I love about doing these podcasts, you know, it's not just for our community and our audience. It's. It's really changing me to be quite on.

00;59;07;09 - 00;59;18;01
Megan
I love, I love that so much. We all need each other. So what it's about, right? Yeah. We. No one can do this alone. Like I said, I'm here because of all the amazing people I have encountered in my life. Right?

00;59;18;04 - 00;59;22;15
Stephanie
Absolutely. Yep. We're all helping walk each other home.

00;59;22;18 - 00;59;27;28
Megan
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

00;59;28;00 - 00;59;37;08
Seth
We have, like, ten questions. So we sent you a list of 30 questions. Right. And you probably looked at you're like, okay.

00;59;37;08 - 00;59;40;07
Megan
Well I was like, I don't know which ones, but like.

00;59;40;09 - 00;59;52;25
Seth
All right, it's good. Okay. You know, this is this is how it works. It's awesome. It's awesome. Right. So much value here. Question I wanted to ask Megan is and this is not even one of the questions, right?

00;59;52;27 - 00;59;53;07
Megan
I love it.

00;59;53;11 - 01;00;22;18
Seth
Me will jumping back to to this concept this theme today of of understanding where other people are. Right. Suicide prevention. What can we do? Like what are practical tips? I know sitting in those seminars years ago, they they were able to at least number one, quell my concern that if we talk about it, it's going to happen or we're going to make it worse.

01;00;22;18 - 01;00;37;00
Seth
Right? Okay. That's you know, we dispelled that, cut that off the legs. Practically. What can I do? Like, what could I say? What's one thing that I could say? You said one of those today, which was, do you have a plan? Right.

01;00;37;03 - 01;00;38;28
Megan
So important.

01;00;39;00 - 01;00;56;02
Seth
What other what are what are practical? You know, either mindset, but really, what are something practical we can do and implement to, to help us get out of ignorance and fear when, when we just want to help, you know, somebody in our life to understand them better, right?

01;00;56;05 - 01;01;20;17
Megan
Yes. And I love that so much. And sometimes we feel like we have to have the answers when someone approaches us with something so heavy and heart like that, it's like, well, you need to be grateful. You, you know, like give. So much. There's so much good. Like, what do you mean? Like, look at this. Like, you got this going for you, you know, which are us, you know, trying to do the right thing.

01;01;20;19 - 01;01;44;27
Megan
But what really makes a difference is allowing this person, whoever they are, if they're coming to you. I think one of the biggest things we can do is say, thank you so much for talking to me about this, for trusting me with this, and help them understand that it's okay that we feel we can always help what we feel.

01;01;44;29 - 01;02;07;02
Megan
If you feel stuck, there's things we can do to help. And that's where like calling or texting nine, eight, eight are, you know, great options depending on how dire the circumstances. But I think the most important thing we can do is listen without judgment and be careful with how we react. I know some people think again because it's uncomfortable.

01;02;07;02 - 01;02;30;29
Megan
We need to be okay with being uncomfortable. We need to be okay with okay, we're going to sit in this for a minute. Oh man. This is really hard. So tell me more what's up? What's going on. Because think about when you had Stephanie, when you were at church and your friend who you thought was a friend came to you and they said, have you really thought about this?

01;02;31;01 - 01;02;48;27
Megan
What would have happened if she showed up and said, wow, I can tell this is really hard. How are you doing? Tell me more what's up? You know, anyway, that's like, right? It would be like.

01;02;48;27 - 01;02;52;25
Stephanie
Emotional right now just thinking if somebody showed up that way.

01;02;52;28 - 01;03;21;06
Megan
Like, yes. Just to validate and help people know. Thank you for taking the chance to see me and not this thing I'm I'm bringing to the table like you're seeing me. Not this. And I think the more we can keep looking past what people are going through their behavior, and we can push that aside and say, I still see you this this must be really heavy to carry.

01;03;21;09 - 01;03;52;03
Megan
This is really hard. You're and validate them without telling them, like, oh, this is all these are all good things. We don't need to let them know and approve these things that they're doing. But we can accept accept an approval or two very different things. And I think when we can accept someone with where they are and help them to know when you are in a really hard phase of this human life right now, like no one's immune to this.

01;03;52;06 - 01;04;17;03
Megan
And the good news is you don't have to do this alone. I got you. And how many times do we feel like I can do this? Just by someone saying, I'm here for you. I got you. And even if they don't do anything, the fact that, you know, like, okay, there is someone that has my back, I can do this, okay?

01;04;17;06 - 01;04;41;25
Megan
I can do this. That is the most important thing we can do is be that sounding board. Be grateful that they came to you to share something so vulnerable and scary and hard, and know that you will be there for them. Help them to know I got you. Those are the biggest things we can do. We don't have to have the answers.

01;04;41;25 - 01;05;04;02
Megan
We don't have to have all the protocols, the grounding exercises, the you know, we don't we don't have to do that. That's like and we're it's not our job to save them. Right? It's our job to love. It's our job to help comfort those in need of comfort. Mourn with those who are mourning. Like those are the things that we need to do.

01;05;04;05 - 01;05;25;00
Megan
We don't have to fix and and again, like if we are in an A, in A, in a point where it's very it's scaling fast and it's scary, then we can call 988 or text 988 and we can be on the phone while this person's with us and say, okay, my friend is really struggling. I don't know how to help.

01;05;25;00 - 01;05;51;15
Megan
What can I do? But they don't want to be alone, but they don't want to be on the phone. So I'm like the mediator. Totally fine. So just show up, be supportive, be curious, do not be judgmental and make sure that you help them know, like I see you and I got you. I will help you with anything that you need help with that I can do.

01;05;51;17 - 01;05;58;26
Megan
And it's as simple as that. I think everyone can do that.

01;05;58;28 - 01;06;08;00
Seth
When you're not there to to fix the problem. Like you don't have to be the therapist. Like you don't have to, you know? Right. But so.

01;06;08;00 - 01;06;09;16
Megan
Not think. Too many people think that.

01;06;09;23 - 01;06;13;15
Seth
98 is the suicide prevention hotline, correct?

01;06;13;17 - 01;06;33;08
Megan
Yes. Yep. And you can text or call, which is nice because some people who are really struggling can't call. So they'll text and that's great. If that's an option that's best for you, do it. It's really, really good. And they help with like grounding exercises or help, you know where to go or it's they're awesome. Wonderful.

01;06;33;11 - 01;06;37;28
Stephanie
So what are the signs to look for that someone is.

01;06;38;01 - 01;07;01;10
Megan
So dissociation is kind of a big one. Like just out of character. Sometimes they can be struggling and you can tell that they're a little low or they're isolating themselves and not as happy as they used to be. They're starting to say things like, well, won't matter for much longer anyway, or I don't, you know, it just doesn't matter now.

01;07;01;12 - 01;07;33;01
Megan
And they're not fulfilling responsibilities that they typically would, they avoid eye contact and it's almost like they look like they're numb, like they can't feel. And and then sometimes it's like you'll see a spike, like they'll be numb and kind of sad and withdrawn. And then like, one day they'll be like, really great and not something to really look for and just say, look, okay, what's going on?

01;07;33;01 - 01;08;01;04
Megan
And, and and to remember, it's not like, oh good, now everything's fine. You're good. I think that's another really scary sign that's really easily overlooked because it's very out of character. Like, okay, all of a sudden you're like really good, okay. We need to ask, like make eye contact. Ask like, are you okay? And like, really try to see them and take that time to sit with them because sometimes they'll be able to say like, no, I'm not.

01;08;01;04 - 01;08;23;22
Megan
And then totally break down because sometimes they're really happy after that long period of fatigue. That's when they've made a decision. They have their plan and they're ready. So, if we can be mindful of like, oh, it's not that they're okay, it might be because there's a plan, then, you know, that's another really big sign.

01;08;23;25 - 01;08;27;01
Stephanie
Yeah. Because they see that end in sight.

01;08;27;03 - 01;08;54;09
Megan
Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Yep, yep. And of course like anything that's out of the ordinary of like, hey, you meant the world to me. I want you to know I love you. Well, if it's like anything out of the blue, always. That is a big red fox. Big red flag. Yeah. Yeah, those are some of the big ones that, like, really send out that I like.

01;08;54;09 - 01;09;25;19
Megan
And I tend to overlook, like with my husband, it was always, I'm just so tired. And he would be sleeping through the whole night and still be so exhausted. And I think if your loved one or if it's you and you're sleeping through the whole night and you wake up so exhausted like that, you need to treat that and get help because everything after that is going to be much harder and difficult to manage and navigate.

01;09;25;21 - 01;09;48;21
Megan
So with him, I think I was just he couldn't articulate what it is he felt, and I feel like he was scared to tell me because he believed all I deserve was happiness. So he I shouldn't hear anything sad. So yeah, just like remember, healthy relationships are the happy, the sad ones. The ones that include both.

01;09;48;23 - 01;10;10;05
Megan
If it's only happy, then that's not healthy. And my sweet Nate, I mean, he was doing the best that he could and really believe that. And I love him forever. And I just I just wish he understood that being sad is is human. We're supposed to feel all those things and it's okay. So yeah.

01;10;10;07 - 01;10;28;19
Stephanie
I feel like that's one reason why I try to be vulnerable with people and share my experiences. Because I feel like when you do that, it invites other people to be vulnerable in their pain. And voice like in everything. And it helps to create that connection and community and support.

01;10;28;21 - 01;10;33;09
Megan
Absolutely. Yeah. It's really big. Yeah.

01;10;33;11 - 01;10;42;03
Stephanie
So I have another question. Okay. So you're remarried? Yes. How is that going?

01;10;42;06 - 01;10;45;05
Megan
Really good and hard. All the good things.

01;10;45;05 - 01;10;47;03
Seth
I was waiting for that.

01;10;47;06 - 01;10;47;19
Megan
Right.

01;10;47;22 - 01;10;48;29
Stephanie
Yeah. It's married with.

01;10;49;01 - 01;11;20;08
Megan
Life. Yes. Well, and but what's really hard is my super handsome husband, who, bless his heart, he was never he wasn't married before. And so this was like his first, like, real big commitment with, like, me and my baby. Yeah. And and we met when my daughter was four. And so here's this guy who's lived this life, 35 years of doing his thing and then adding us.

01;11;20;10 - 01;11;49;24
Megan
So my sweet husband, bless his heart, was like thrown into, like a typhoon, you know, waters trying to swim. And it's hard. And he's been doing really good. I'm like so proud of him because I know that this has been such a huge transition. And then my trauma on top of it, like there's days where I'm like, I'm sorry, I, I am struggling.

01;11;49;24 - 01;12;20;02
Megan
I need you to just figure life out for us right now. I need to go take care of myself. And he's like, what? Okay. Okay, here we go. You know, so it's just thrown in and and he's doing such a great job and I'm so proud of him. And of course, he has all of these tendencies. You know, that animal, that natural animal inside of all of us that, you know, struggle to do what's right over what's easy.

01;12;20;02 - 01;12;44;16
Megan
And he he's been stepping up every time. And I'm so, so thankful for that, constantly learning and growing together. And he's very open and transparent, sometimes almost too transparent, because that's the thing I really appreciate because he is. And so I'm like, that's great. That was too much like reel it in a little oh, that was great.

01;12;44;19 - 01;12;59;28
Megan
But but I love it and I appreciate it, especially because mostly, you know, Nate who struggle to let me in. I love that cam lets me in and yeah, it's been really good. I'm grateful. He's amazing.

01;13;00;02 - 01;13;04;09
Seth
I love the transparency. But that was a little too much transparency.

01;13;04;10 - 01;13;06;10
Megan
Yeah. Let's,

01;13;06;13 - 01;13;09;24
Seth
Let's can we microdose that can we might say.

01;13;09;26 - 01;13;12;02
Stephanie
I can see you saying that.

01;13;12;04 - 01;13;17;14
Megan
Yeah. Oh my gosh. So funny that. Yeah.

01;13;17;17 - 01;13;18;13
Stephanie
Yeah. Well, I.

01;13;18;13 - 01;13;19;10
Megan
Mean.

01;13;19;12 - 01;13;42;04
Stephanie
Us blending of families that did have prior experience to, adoption, you know, marrying a single mom, that was his first wife. And, and then, you know, having some together and then and then stepping in and taking my two on as his own, and then having two together. So it's it's definitely been, beautiful mass.

01;13;42;06 - 01;13;43;25
Seth
Beautiful. Can I think what you.

01;13;43;25 - 01;13;44;24
Stephanie
Call chaos, that's what.

01;13;44;24 - 01;13;45;26
Megan
I call, you know.

01;13;45;29 - 01;13;47;03
Stephanie
Chaos.

01;13;47;05 - 01;13;59;11
Megan
I love that, and I wish men got more credit. The ones who jump in to the families to take them on as their own. I, I just, I wish there was more credit for that because it's pretty and it's amazing.

01;13;59;13 - 01;14;02;15
Stephanie
Yes, yes. And women, I feel like like.

01;14;02;15 - 01;14;03;16
Megan
I meant yes. Amen.

01;14;03;17 - 01;14;07;04
Stephanie
Amen. Get the, Oh my goodness.

01;14;07;09 - 01;14;08;16
Seth
The wicked stepmother.

01;14;08;16 - 01;14;09;08
Stephanie
Yes.

01;14;09;10 - 01;14;09;26
Megan
Yeah.

01;14;10;02 - 01;14;15;13
Stephanie
We get dubbed as the wicked stepmother. And, you know, I was being like, oh, how is that? You know?

01;14;15;13 - 01;14;17;06
Megan
And yes.

01;14;17;08 - 01;14;27;08
Stephanie
It's it is one of the hardest, in fact, our children's one of their therapist said that the hardest role in a blended family is being the bonus mom.

01;14;27;10 - 01;14;27;27
Megan
Oh, I.

01;14;27;27 - 01;14;30;00
Seth
Believe they agreed. I agree.

01;14;30;01 - 01;14;36;13
Megan
I believe at 100%. Bless all the moms out there that are the bonus. Mom. You're amazing. You really.

01;14;36;20 - 01;14;41;11
Stephanie
It is so so so hard and at the same time so rewarding.

01;14;41;13 - 01;14;45;11
Megan
So incredible. You guys are incredible. So awesome.

01;14;45;18 - 01;14;55;11
Stephanie
We we didn't ask, where can our community find her if they would like to reach out to her for resources or anything?

01;14;55;11 - 01;15;03;15
Megan
Awesome. Yeah, just on my Instagram and, like, hands to stand is my big one. And then just Gmail hands just and that Gmail right.

01;15;03;15 - 01;15;06;29
Seth
Perfect a lot about a person my their their email address.

01;15;07;01 - 01;15;10;26
Megan
Right. Happy toes. Yeah that's right. Right.

01;15;10;26 - 01;15;15;19
Stephanie
And then I broke one right after.

01;15;15;22 - 01;15;18;13
Megan
Yeah. Happy to accept one at gmail.

01;15;18;15 - 01;15;21;12
Seth
Actually I was just happy to have one to.

01;15;21;14 - 01;15;26;00
Megan
Work with during. Oh my gosh, that is so funny.

01;15;26;03 - 01;15;42;04
Seth
Megan, as an aside, you know, one thing that we're also doing is creating a community of amazing women that we work with like that we collaborate with. And thank you for allowing us to collaborate and and produce an episode.

01;15;42;06 - 01;15;44;01
Megan
Absolutely. Vice versa. Thank you.

01;15;44;01 - 01;15;49;27
Seth
Absolutely. And cut. It's a wrap.

01;15;49;29 - 01;16;05;03
Stephanie
Thank you so much for being here today. And thank you for sharing this episode with that one friend who needs this conversation. Thank you for all the ratings, the reviews, the comments, and especially the support. We so appreciate you.

01;16;05;05 - 01;16;19;07
Seth
Now, if you want to take a peek behind the curtain and be the first to know about special previews, backstage updates here at the show, and especially some private collection content that doesn't come out in the regular show.

01;16;19;09 - 01;16;24;06
Stephanie
Be sure to join our VIP community at the Forever Young Show showcasing.