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Stephanie
Hi, I'm Stephanie.

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Seth
I'm Seth, and this is the Forever Young show. The most powerful force in this world is a woman who knows who she is, why? She is here, and what she wants to accomplish.

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Stephanie
And that's where self-care comes in. As a woman, it is my opportunity and my responsibility to take care of me.

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Seth
Self-care for your mind.

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Stephanie
Self-care for your body.

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Seth
Self-care for your money.

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Stephanie
Our mission is to serve women as they fulfill their irreplaceable roles and families. Society. Business. The fabric of humanity.

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Seth
So let's get this show on the road. This. We're here in our in the studios here in Utah. For those of you who are tuning in. video or audio. And we're with Monica. Bam, bro. Somebody I've known for goodness. 20 years. More than 20. When did you.

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Monica
Know? You know more than about 18.

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Seth
Okay.

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Monica
But then before that, we had crossed paths and we made a connection from, you know, before that.

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Seth
Right. And dear friends of of of Stephanie, and our families, we have a yearly we have a yearly barbecue.

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Stephanie
We try to.

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Monica
What we try.

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Seth
Did we do it last year?

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Stephanie
No, no, we were going to, but then we ended up having to postpone it and it has never happened to come to fruition.

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Seth
So that happened the year before.

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Stephanie
Oh yes.

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Monica
Okay.

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Seth
Last year and the year. Yeah. I think last year was kind of a you did reach back out to us and say, are we going to reschedule?

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Monica
And oh.

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Seth
And I don't think I don't think Stephanie looked at the calendar.

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Monica
Well, it's usually in September. Once we get past September, it's never going to happen.

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Monica
It's all good.

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Seth
Anyway, Monica, you and your husband Blain have four children, correct? Right from ages. Youngest to oldest.

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Monica
13 to 26.

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Seth
13 to 26. And you entered the realm of grant parenthood?

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Monica
I did.

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Seth
Within the last year, wasn't it?

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Monica
Yes. December.

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Seth
What's. How's that?

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Monica
I think I'm just feeling like I'm a mom.

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Monica
Like you still, you know, babies and love and. Okay, you know.

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Monica
I haven't gotten to the grandma's stage of come to all my events and all that. So I'm ready for all the fun and crazy that comes.

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Seth
Well, you're young, grand, but it's also, I think it's interesting when you're like your first grandchildren, especially if you're if you're on the younger side. Right. Like, I mean, we're still parents. We got six grandkids and it's like, well, how do I how do I draw the line between I'm going to be debt like this, this six year old, dad and this six year old.

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Seth
I'm, I'm I'm grandpa.

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Monica
Right? Yes. Right. Yeah.

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Seth
So.

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Monica
You know, hopefully everyone will be out of the house by the time they're really.

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Seth
Really cranking. Grandma.

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Monica
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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Monica
But so good to have her. She's cute.

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Stephanie
So fun.

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Monica
Yeah.

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Stephanie
Those baby snuggles are everything.

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Monica
Oh, they're the best. Especially when you haven't had them. You know, in 13 years, right? Yeah. Wrap them up and snuggle in.

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Stephanie
Yes. Get them to sleep.

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Monica
Kissing on the face.

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Seth
So what are they going to call you?

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Monica
What are the girls?

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Monica
I don't.

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Monica
Know. I think we're going to that. I don't know if I'm said into the grandma grandpa thing.

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Monica
I'm not set on the weird off the wall things either.

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Monica
I.

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Monica
Kind of live on my and Opa because of my heritage. So. Swiss heritage. Oh, I know, but. Yeah. Okay. I like that. So it just enough different, but still meaning. Yeah.

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Stephanie
When we became grandparents and when the grandkids, started to get older, we started talking, like, because he already knew what he wanted to be called. Papa. And I was like, I don't know, I'm not sure. So I was going through all these names, and, I mean, I became a grandma the day after I turned 34. And so I'm like, I'm too young to be called grandma.

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Stephanie
Like, I gotta come up with a cool name. Yeah. And, anyways, our grandchild, when he first called me grandma, I'm older, and I was like, my heart melted and I was like, I don't care how old I am, I am grandma, I'm.

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Monica
Older than that. Yeah. Was you gotta have fun.

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Monica
Cousins to give you crazy names?

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Monica
so when I told them I was a grandma, they couldn't believe it, right? Yeah.

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Monica
And they're like, oh, I got it.

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Monica
Grandma. Her grandma. Grandma. Monica. Right. Oh my goodness. Cute. Like, I don't know if that will fly, but you're cute. Just. Yeah. Like that. So.

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Stephanie
Yeah.

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Seth
At some point your grandkids will will perhaps give you the pet names, right? I would often write it often because I remember my grandmother, my grandmother on my mom's side, her husband, my grandfather. He was grandma that, like, she was very explicit. He's not grandpa like this. Whatever. You know, growing up, when they did, you know, in the mid 1900s, it was like there no grandpa around here, it's granddad.

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Seth
And everybody was very, very. We all fell in line, you know. So it was always that was easy for me to separate the two sides. Right. My mom's side of my dad's side. I've got granddad here on mom's side and grandpa over here on, on my dad's side.

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Monica
I think that's usually how it works out, though, right?

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Stephanie
That's so funny because, yeah, my dad's dad was the same way. I am granddad. Yeah, I'm the other side of, like, whatever.

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Seth
Tell me what you want.

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Monica
Right.

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Monica
I think I was just going to come around. That's why I'm.

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Monica
Like, I don't know, I'm just not set.

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Monica
On anything. You know, it'll fall into place.

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Seth
And professionally, you, tell us a little about your professional background.

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Monica
Oh, professionally, I did interior design for, Really? My whole life. When I was younger, I always knew what I wanted to be, what I wanted to do. So that was easy for me. And then later in life, friend was starting a company here in Utah, financial education. And he asked me to help him watch it here.

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Monica
So I kind of switched gears and helped him launch that and help people with their finances. And I did that for several years, and now I'm on a different path and had to kind of say, I have.

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Monica
To step out so far.

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Seth
Yeah, I did see something recently that came through our emails. Was I encroaching on? Yes. I didn't know if.

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Stephanie
My told.

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Seth
Me to boot tap like, hey, this is that time. You know, we have a secret message when I get the book tapped and I'm supposed to ask the specific question now. But it was really early. It was really early in the podcast. And like, we really where we really doing that question right now? No, it was just I'm I'm encroaching on your space.

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Seth
So I know we're going to get to social media here in a, in a minute, in a bit perhaps. You talk about cultural norms and how that affects women. But you're on Instagram, right?

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Monica
I am now.

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Seth
Okay.

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Monica
only for the last one, eight months or so.

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Seth
it's called PR, right?

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Monica
And it's called PR.

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Seth
It is where it's where you need to be if you want to, if you want to reach people. Right. This right, this is this is where eyes are.

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Monica
Right.

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Seth
Now. So looking at some of the trending trending reels right. Short form video going on, steps like we need to recreate this video, Seth. And it's the video where the wife does what the husband would do. husband acts like what the wife would do. And so she's like, yeah, so I'm just going to come in and kind of like, sprawl myself out over everything and everybody's space.

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Seth
I'm like, for what? Like, I guess I'm acting like, you know. And then I started realizing.

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Monica
And does she need the remote?

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Stephanie
The remote?

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Monica
Because if he's sprawling out, does he need the remote television?

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Stephanie
You know, that's just how he is. It's like you're.

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Seth
Sitting in church, okay?

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Stephanie
Concert, church everywhere.

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Monica
No spatial awareness.

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Stephanie
Yes. He's like, so I did it back. And he's like, it's how I feel. I was like, yes, yeah. And he's like, that is really uncomfortable.

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Monica
You're like, yes, yes, there it is. Exactly. Let me help you out here.

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Seth
So I've been thinking, okay, you know, you're just making a satire and having some fun laughing at yourself. I know that that's one of your that's one of your secret. That's one of your strengths. Yeah. So how do I. How would I act like you?

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Monica
Me?

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Seth
Yeah.

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Monica
How would Seth act like Stephanie? I don't know that right there.

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Seth
Well, one thing is taking our.

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Monica
Dinner an hour to eat dinner.

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Seth
Oh, that's. This is true. This is true.

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Stephanie
I do take my time. Hey, my doctor did say I chew my food really well.

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Seth
I actually, I cut a little blurb. I need to do some more research on this, but, there apparently is some, some research, in the scientific world dealing with longevity, that shows the longer cultures take to eat, the longer they live. So this whole this whole drive to hurry up, wolf it down, you know, strategy is, is probably not the best if you're interested in the long life.

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Monica
So if you want to step out at 80, right, just jump into that.

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Seth
Not exactly.

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Stephanie
I don't want to at 80.

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Seth
So I've been trying to think about how I could, you know, approach the satire because she, like, she doesn't do the sprawling thing. I'm like, it's going to be really uncomfortable. How do I how am I going to do this, to sit like.

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Monica
This? Yes.

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Seth
So speaking of interior design, you are our go to usually.

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Stephanie
Yes.

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Monica
Monica.

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Stephanie
What is this? Turtle?

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Monica
Well, I need some help. Let's see.

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Seth
Need help? We need help. We're remodeling this part now, so. Yeah, we need a new sink.

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Stephanie
Or how about. Yeah, we don't want the house to look like a man cave.

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Seth
Yeah.

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Monica
Actually, we've done some good stuff.

00:10:09:01 - 00:10:10:08
Monica
You have? Oh.

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Seth
Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Between your love for color and your ability to put things together. We were just looking at some photos the other day on the computer. I think the kids were going through. And, you know, we have that this incredible, great room with, with, you know, we live in a log home for those of you don't know and I don't know, 19ft ceiling, 20ft ceiling, massive windows looking out to the east.

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Seth
And for the longest time we had essentially no furniture.

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Stephanie
Man, unless you include like, a love sack.

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Seth
We had the bean bag.

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Monica
And it was the equivalent.

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Monica
Of folding tables and folding chairs.

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Seth
We actually had a nice leather couch actually, in there.

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Stephanie
That was taped.

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Seth
Was that was right.

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Stephanie
Super small.

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Seth
It's good for three people, right? And I think we had a hard.

00:11:05:05 - 00:11:05:23
Stephanie
Bench.

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Monica
With ten kids.

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Seth
We had a hard bench and a love sack, you know. and I think we lived in the house for how many years? Four years.

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Stephanie
Something like that.

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Seth
Four years, I think. I think it was 4 or 5 years before we're like, we have got to get some official furniture.

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Stephanie
I don't remember it exactly that way. I think it was more of a hey, honey, we need more than just, you know, you're like, oh, I think, I think it's fine for now. And I'm like, you.

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Monica
And then you showed me the stuff for the stores that you're home with.

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Monica
I was just like, oh, please, we are headed to this store together. Let's straighten this out. I remember that, I remember that.

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Seth
That was so.

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Stephanie
Fun. And Monica was the one that said, yeah, it's kind of like a man cave. We need more. And I'm like, that's what it is. You nailed it.

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Monica
Because it's, you know, a lot of home and.

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Monica
Yes, all that.

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Seth
Yeah. Well it's yeah, half the people call it a cabin, you know. Yeah, it's a home. But. Then again, then again we had buffalo robes, buffalo hides, you know, on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. I think I brought.

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Monica
It up a little bit.

00:12:14:22 - 00:12:17:21
Monica
Yeah. Stephanie loves Red. So we had to do a red.

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Seth
Oh yeah I love that we get that red cell phones. Yeah.

00:12:21:16 - 00:12:22:23
Stephanie
It's a statement piece.

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Seth
Absolutely.

00:12:23:16 - 00:12:24:08
Stephanie
Yes, yes.

00:12:24:11 - 00:12:38:12
Seth
So you recently stepped away from your work and we might jump into the financial thing because we always talk about financial self-care. Yeah. you know, we actually work with you. You kind of drag us along or or I say you drag us along because we kind of drug our feet.

00:12:38:14 - 00:12:50:06
Monica
Oh, I know, I say I charge you extra if you don't care. We are in care and get your finances in line.

00:12:50:08 - 00:12:51:20
Seth
But you step. You're stepping away from that?

00:12:52:00 - 00:12:52:11
Monica
Yeah.

00:12:52:11 - 00:12:56:15
Monica
Officially pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, when.

00:12:56:15 - 00:13:01:12
Monica
Am I going to get you back? Eight, ten years.

00:13:01:14 - 00:13:03:05
Seth
And that is because.

00:13:03:07 - 00:13:28:03
Monica
Well, I got a calling with my church and it's seems really like full time. Really? Yeah. Lot of effort, time, different things that you're focused on. And you know ten irons in the fire. At a time just depending on what's going on. And so I, if I can't give 100% to something I'm not going to do it because then I'm letting someone else down when they're counting on me.

00:13:28:05 - 00:13:47:21
Monica
And I'm not going to do that because that leads them home in a bag. Yeah. so out of respect, I just had to say I'm so sorry. I cannot give my best efforts to clients. I cannot help them along their way like I want to. And so it's probably not best for me to start any new clients.

00:13:47:23 - 00:14:11:10
Monica
And, Yeah. And step out. So I just maintain my current clients as they need me and focus on what's now in front of me. And it's fine. It's how good I succeeded in that. And number one, what would you say rep for the company in?

00:14:11:14 - 00:14:12:17
Seth
Yeah, that's pretty good.

00:14:12:19 - 00:14:13:14
Stephanie
yeah. I mean.

00:14:13:18 - 00:14:14:12
Seth
Yeah.

00:14:14:14 - 00:14:17:22
Monica
You just you just say it's time to step out, and I.

00:14:17:22 - 00:14:21:07
Monica
Just tell them I'm sorry. God wins over you, buddy.

00:14:21:09 - 00:14:24:19
Monica
Every time I love you back. Yeah, I got win, so I.

00:14:24:19 - 00:14:25:22
Monica
Have to step out.

00:14:26:00 - 00:14:38:12
Seth
So this new position with your church, your member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, and our podcast. I mean, this show reaches so many different religions, which I do want to probably jump in because the whole interface.

00:14:38:12 - 00:14:39:12
Monica
Oh, yes.

00:14:39:14 - 00:14:52:11
Seth
discussion I think is, is worthwhile. We obviously have so many people from so many different faiths, India into Asia and all around the world. Right. But tell us about this, this new opportunity. And this is not a paid gig.

00:14:52:13 - 00:14:55:07
Monica
No, it's a service.

00:14:55:09 - 00:14:56:11
Seth
Really. It's a service for.

00:14:56:11 - 00:14:57:11
Monica
The next 8 to 10.

00:14:57:11 - 00:14:57:22
Seth
Years, eight.

00:14:57:22 - 00:14:59:06
Monica
To ten years of serving.

00:14:59:06 - 00:15:01:06
Stephanie
Wow, I don't know, it's that long.

00:15:01:08 - 00:15:29:05
Monica
Yeah, because you're building relationships and that takes time. And let's say it took me a year to build a relationship, and then I was out in three. I don't know how much I could get done, but if I've got 8 to 10 years to really jump in and learn how these people love these people serve with these people, you know, hopefully we can do that for 8 to 10 years instead of just a quick by and by.

00:15:29:11 - 00:15:30:19
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

00:15:30:23 - 00:15:40:11
Monica
Yeah. Because I think it's going to be a really hard day with a lot of tears when I have to step out because you just learn to love so many people.

00:15:40:13 - 00:15:46:15
Stephanie
Well, and you're really good at it. We've seen you in action a few times and you're made for this calling.

00:15:46:17 - 00:15:47:14
Monica
Oh that's sweet.

00:15:47:14 - 00:15:54:20
Stephanie
Like you, just how warm and personable you are. And you really connect with other people and help them to feel welcomed.

00:15:54:22 - 00:16:01:08
Seth
So what's the scope of this of this assignment? and when I say, you know, I said, I see a sign, you're.

00:16:01:09 - 00:16:05:08
Monica
Like, you got an hour?

00:16:05:10 - 00:16:25:20
Seth
yeah. Well, yeah. Here we go, here we go. So, so in, in in the church. In this church, you, you are asked to fulfill responsibilities, right? It's called a calling. Right? and or an assignment. And you choose. I mean, it's not compulsory. You get to choose whether you want to accept it, right?

00:16:25:22 - 00:16:47:02
Monica
And you also get to choose how engaged in you are, right? It's not. I have to. Yes. I don't have to do anything in this calling. I think I got a one page sheet explaining my calling and they're just like, you know what? I think you're doing great. Just go and do what you want to do. Well, here we.

00:16:47:02 - 00:16:47:23
Monica
Are.

00:16:48:01 - 00:16:56:01
Monica
Doing all kinds of fun stuff, connecting with a lot of fun people. I think you joined us for Shabbat with Rabbi Charnas.

00:16:56:05 - 00:16:56:17
Stephanie
Yes.

00:16:56:19 - 00:17:00:21
Monica
It was an amazing thing.

00:17:00:23 - 00:17:02:01
Seth
That we.

00:17:02:03 - 00:17:03:23
Monica
Did.

00:17:04:01 - 00:17:05:15
Stephanie
I don't think so.

00:17:05:17 - 00:17:11:05
Seth
He said, Rabbi, Rabbi Joseph, as I call him, Brother Joseph.

00:17:11:07 - 00:17:20:10
Monica
I am I it's just bro. Joe. Bro. Joe, it's bro Joe. And just now we, I do certain things because we just got to get right to it. Yeah.

00:17:20:10 - 00:17:22:00
Monica
That's awesome.

00:17:22:02 - 00:17:32:17
Seth
Well, it's funny that he would get right to it because he, like myself, has a way of of of doing a short 30 minute sermon on a 32nd subject.

00:17:32:20 - 00:17:54:19
Monica
Oh yeah. He, he called me yesterday and, he's like, oh, I just had to be personal. So I called you. So, and an hour later, it's like, okay, we covered all the breadth of topics that we possibly could in an hour. We solved all kinds of problems, and.

00:17:54:21 - 00:17:56:18
Monica
Now we're done.

00:17:56:20 - 00:17:58:05
Monica
One hour.

00:17:58:07 - 00:18:15:02
Seth
So we attended the Shabbat service. Yeah, right. a Jewish Shabbat on a, on a Friday evening. Right? Right. With a meal. And I was singing because he said normally, normally I would sing for you, but I'm not tonight, you know? And I was like.

00:18:15:03 - 00:18:16:06
Monica
That's why I'm here.

00:18:16:07 - 00:18:17:02
Seth
I was.

00:18:17:02 - 00:18:18:03
Stephanie
Disappointed, I.

00:18:18:03 - 00:18:18:22
Monica
Came here to.

00:18:18:22 - 00:18:24:05
Seth
Hear. Have you read? I came here for Fiddler on the roof. Right.

00:18:24:07 - 00:18:25:02
Monica
He always says.

00:18:25:04 - 00:18:33:04
Monica
I don't speak anything. And the you know, the Jewish language. I'm really, really even I know. Shalom. Have m.

00:18:33:08 - 00:18:40:22
Monica
Come on. You're. I think you're pulling my leg. I think he, you know, tries to just.

00:18:41:00 - 00:18:59:18
Monica
in a big setting like that, keep it reverent. And it's hard to keep it reverent. And seeing him serve his, his praise in that setting. That's how I would observe that if it was smaller, more quaint. I think he would bring.

00:18:59:18 - 00:19:00:17
Seth
Up I gotcha.

00:19:00:19 - 00:19:04:21
Monica
But deeper yet details. Yeah.

00:19:04:23 - 00:19:11:12
Seth
So this this assignment then that you're doing with, with your church is a PR, it's public relations.

00:19:11:13 - 00:19:13:16
Monica
That's the simplest way to cover it.

00:19:13:18 - 00:19:17:04
Seth
The like. Okay. What's the not simple way to cover it?

00:19:17:06 - 00:19:23:06
Monica
assistant director, the Mount Nebo Communication Council for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints.

00:19:23:08 - 00:19:25:14
Seth
Okay, PR, I like I know.

00:19:25:14 - 00:19:29:17
Monica
I was like, you know, public relations. Yeah we are.

00:19:29:19 - 00:19:42:11
Seth
And so when you need about PR art, really what does that entail other than what was on the one page? I mean, yeah. So you're working with Jewish rabbis, you do some interfaith.

00:19:42:13 - 00:20:06:11
Monica
I do a lot of interfaith work. I'll attend worship services with anybody, pretty much. And it's lovely. The people are beautiful. you always live there with a connection and understanding some differences, but more than likely all the similarities are so many. Recently we took 330 youth and adults to Salt Lake City and did a day of service in Salt Lake.

00:20:06:13 - 00:20:08:01
Seth
330 youth. From where?

00:20:08:03 - 00:20:09:09
Monica
From our stake.

00:20:09:13 - 00:20:12:07
Seth
Okay, so from your congregation church area.

00:20:12:07 - 00:20:54:14
Monica
Yeah. And we served at several nonprofits and other religions so that they could learn about other people, learn differences, how people worship and understand that it's okay and they're still amazing and they're lovely and giving. And, I mean, I can make a list of things that they are they're just amazing. And I think it's important that youth learn that before they become adults, because when it's a little bit harder to pull an adult into, to learn those kind of things and, I mean, we served at a Buddhist temple, congregation colony, which is a Jewish synagogue.

00:20:54:16 - 00:21:27:20
Monica
We helped in their garden, the Methodists, the Catholics, the Baptists, the road home type shelter. and it's called, Up ministries. And so you learn from that, Reverend, why he serves like he loves to help the community and the beauty in that. And, Saint Vincent de Paul, which is Catholic community services, how they prepare 850 meals a day for the homeless for, wow, lunch and dinner.

00:21:27:22 - 00:21:45:15
Monica
And so, I mean, the list can just go on of all the good that these places do. And we wanted to highlight them so you could do like, wow, this is awesome and hopefully change their lives moving forward.

00:21:45:17 - 00:22:11:05
Seth
Sometimes when we well, historically when many people, feel so passionately about, you know, their faith, or their religion and they, they do it, I think unknowingly sometimes too, but they kind of almost unknowingly narrow their, their perspective.

00:22:11:06 - 00:22:12:21
Monica
Oh for sure.

00:22:12:23 - 00:22:33:22
Seth
And when you narrow your perspective, you close, you know, you close that vision. You maybe you turn off your ears, right? And and start to think, I mean, life's great. Yes. And this faith that you have is wonderful. But sometimes you forget the real purpose of faith, right? Or at least faith as we have it, which is it's not to stay with you.

00:22:34:00 - 00:22:54:19
Seth
It's like to get out, and it doesn't really matter. You know, where somebody goes to church or if they go to church, right? Like, are we are we really involved in living that faith practically as opposed to kind of siloing ourselves off and and becoming almost ignorant about all these other.

00:22:54:21 - 00:22:55:02
Monica
People.

00:22:55:02 - 00:23:18:22
Monica
In our community? You lose so much beauty and, learning experiences when you shut people out because they don't believe or live exactly like you. I think I'm a better person because I have such varied friendships, and it has been like that my whole life. One of my friends, is no longer a member of our faith, but I don't know what I do without her in my life.

00:23:18:22 - 00:23:25:09
Monica
She's just so hilarious. She might say a few words that I would never say, you know, and do things I never do.

00:23:25:11 - 00:23:55:05
Monica
But I absolutely love her. And I'm grateful for her because it helps me understand, her as a person beyond a religion and the just the beauty of her and her family. And, if we could do more of that, I think we, you know, do a lot better in the world as a whole because I as an invite and have open invitations to anyone that wants to join me at another worship service.

00:23:55:07 - 00:24:01:14
Monica
Anyone is welcome to come. I'll call the Reverend to say, hey, I'd love to bring some friends. Are you okay with that? Hey, that's just one more coming.

00:24:01:19 - 00:24:09:20
Monica
So he's not like, oh, wow. My. I just walked in with ten missionary. you know, that's not why we're there.

00:24:09:22 - 00:24:39:05
Monica
So. The biggest thing when you're doing interfaith, I would say, is more of keep your mouth shut and just listen and learn. they'll learn about you along the way without you saying anything. And, but we need to learn first and foremost, because so many good people, like at the Buddhist temple, Reverend Tam is four foot something.

00:24:39:05 - 00:24:40:22
Monica
I she's short.

00:24:41:00 - 00:25:03:04
Monica
And, you know, she does have the shaved head and she does wear the brown robes, but she was so darling and just welcoming and warm. She bore her testimony about her beliefs inside her temple and everyone loved it. She also made everyone that served there. So about 40 people, homemade egg rolls and fried rice. Oh, wow.

00:25:03:06 - 00:25:04:02
Seth
What are you going to think?

00:25:04:02 - 00:25:09:08
Monica
Yeah, I know, I can call her and say, hey, we're coming, you know, again, and I know she would.

00:25:09:10 - 00:25:16:17
Monica
But I mean, for her to just do that as a thank you gift, that was her showing gratitude. I thought that was the sweetest thing.

00:25:16:17 - 00:25:18:08
Monica
She didn't have to do that.

00:25:18:10 - 00:25:41:18
Monica
And I think that's kind of how a lot of hearts are. But I would never know that, if we didn't go there and serve her. and it's a totally different way of believing in things. But, someone had a deeper conversation during the downtime of the youth coming and going to serve. And, and he found a lot of similarities.

00:25:41:20 - 00:25:47:13
Monica
So take the time to find similarities and make a new friend do the best.

00:25:47:15 - 00:26:01:01
Seth
Absolutely. Yeah. I know the time that we spent with with, with, Rabbi Rodger. Yeah. Bro. Gerald, was just phenomenal. We had I mean, after everybody had left the Shabbat service.

00:26:01:01 - 00:26:02:09
Monica
All right, you know.

00:26:02:10 - 00:26:08:15
Seth
A handful of us, we all sat around that table and just talked and talked and talked and laughed.

00:26:08:15 - 00:26:10:09
Monica
And, oh, he's so funny.

00:26:10:09 - 00:26:11:10
Stephanie
He's hilarious.

00:26:11:12 - 00:26:19:14
Monica
So funny. we were laughing during our phone call because he just comes up with all the crazy stuff.

00:26:19:16 - 00:26:20:14
Monica
Oh, I might add to that.

00:26:20:14 - 00:26:22:14
Monica
But, you know, and it's.

00:26:22:15 - 00:26:43:12
Monica
Just fun. He's a real person. I think that's what we have to understand right there. Just people. Yeah. At the end of the day, they want to pick up their child and hold their child just like you do. They walk the same way we do, and I'm sure they have the exact same desires as we do. So they're really just like us.

00:26:43:14 - 00:26:46:01
Monica
And I don't know, I think too often we put labels on.

00:26:46:03 - 00:26:49:18
Seth
I was just going to say yes, we get to the labels. Yeah, discussion.

00:26:49:20 - 00:27:10:23
Monica
Like, oh, I can't talk to them because they're x, y, z, the CEO, the president, the, apostle, whatever you want to put that label on someone, why can't you why can't you talk to everybody? There are person that just happens to be their job. So connect with them as a person.

00:27:11:05 - 00:27:14:17
Seth
Or their faith or their belief or their, you.

00:27:14:17 - 00:27:20:21
Monica
Know, why do you have to connect with them as the president? As the CEO? I'm sure they'd love a break from that.

00:27:20:23 - 00:27:21:05
Stephanie
Mean.

00:27:21:06 - 00:27:23:09
Monica
So true. And just oh, let me be me.

00:27:23:15 - 00:27:25:04
Monica
Okay, let's do it.

00:27:25:06 - 00:27:25:23
Stephanie
Yeah.

00:27:26:01 - 00:27:27:04
Monica
Yeah.

00:27:27:06 - 00:27:30:13
Stephanie
Just like, you know, women want to be looked at more than just mom.

00:27:30:15 - 00:27:31:13
Monica
Oh, for sure.

00:27:31:15 - 00:27:35:09
Stephanie
Beyond that label, even though that is a beautiful label to have.

00:27:35:11 - 00:27:55:10
Monica
Video, you take it and make it awesome and do it your way. And I mean, being a mother, I think is one of the greatest things because you get one chance right? So take that gift and give it all you can. It doesn't always work out the way you envision it. Sometimes I was like, oh my gosh.

00:27:55:12 - 00:28:02:16
Monica
I mean, I teach you that. There's nothing. I had to do it right. So but still.

00:28:02:17 - 00:28:08:22
Monica
You know, you just give your all and at the end you just appreciate where you're at.

00:28:09:00 - 00:28:11:17
Stephanie
Love and support them on their journey. Right.

00:28:11:19 - 00:28:13:04
Monica
Right.

00:28:13:06 - 00:28:32:01
Stephanie
Yeah I think sometimes it can be easy to disconnect yourself from that. Just I've just talked to some friends recently who have we've just gotten into that discussion of, well how do you, how do you disconnect? So that you're not taking it on personally? Oh, and.

00:28:32:03 - 00:28:40:05
Monica
I read a book once that said, as a mother, never take anything personally. And I think this is before I had my first child. I'm like.

00:28:40:05 - 00:28:46:07
Monica
Done, done. I will never take anything they say or do personally.

00:28:46:09 - 00:28:50:14
Monica
Because I'm doing my best. and again, I.

00:28:50:16 - 00:28:56:21
Monica
Would totally laugh at stuff like, okay, great. So I mean.

00:28:56:23 - 00:29:15:07
Seth
That is that is sage advice, though. That is sage advice. Best thing you find as a parent, you reacting, I do this, you know, and and nine times out of ten it's because I'm taking it personally personal. And it's like, dude, don't don't take yourself so seriously bro.

00:29:15:08 - 00:29:15:21
Monica
For sure.

00:29:15:23 - 00:29:26:09
Seth
You know, and like step back. And there are a lot of things going on here. There are a lot of moving parts. You got all their moving parts. You wish some of them were moving more than others.

00:29:26:11 - 00:29:27:03
Monica
Right?

00:29:27:05 - 00:29:40:05
Seth
Some of them are moving maybe too fast. And then you've got all your moving parts. It's like just don't take it personal. Let it kind of just sit on the surface. And yeah, and nine times out of ten, if you do that, then things just move forward a lot more.

00:29:40:05 - 00:29:55:21
Monica
So oh so quickly. You can move through things if you just laugh at it. I mean, everyone's had a four year old that says things that you shouldn't say. I remember my nephew calling my sister in law a stupid, fuzzy idiot.

00:29:55:23 - 00:30:01:12
Monica
I think funny is phrase, but if you took that personally.

00:30:01:14 - 00:30:04:02
Monica
From a four year old every.

00:30:04:04 - 00:30:10:04
Monica
And every other time they said something like that, and as they get older, they say things.

00:30:10:05 - 00:30:11:11
Monica
You can't.

00:30:11:13 - 00:30:13:03
Stephanie
Yeah. You just, you can't.

00:30:13:03 - 00:30:14:04
Monica
You just have to laugh at.

00:30:14:04 - 00:30:18:15
Monica
That, say, oh, okay. You know, it really is just an okay.

00:30:18:15 - 00:30:27:21
Stephanie
It doesn't just come from four year olds. I mean, right, our eight year old a few different times have said, mom, you look really bloated.

00:30:27:23 - 00:30:38:18
Stephanie
And on one of those toes, same day, she said, mom, look for butts getting as thick as yours.

00:30:38:20 - 00:30:40:22
Monica
Oh that's right. How could you not laugh at that?

00:30:40:23 - 00:30:45:08
Seth
Right, well, and stick was totally Alex.

00:30:45:10 - 00:30:52:00
Monica
I'm sure I would come back with something pretty quick. I'm not that totally can't take that person.

00:30:52:00 - 00:30:57:23
Stephanie
No, I laughed, I typically I probably would have come up with something too, but I was a little shocked.

00:30:58:01 - 00:31:01:09
Monica
Like, where did you come up with that?

00:31:01:11 - 00:31:03:16
Stephanie
Yeah. All right. We're we've arrived.

00:31:03:18 - 00:31:06:18
Monica
Oh, and it's like the.

00:31:06:18 - 00:31:07:18
Monica
Phrase kids say the.

00:31:07:18 - 00:31:10:04
Monica
Darndest things. Yes.

00:31:10:05 - 00:31:12:12
Stephanie
Sometimes they say things we want to say.

00:31:12:14 - 00:31:21:15
Monica
Yes. Yeah. Like, go for it. Take the words out of my mouth.

00:31:21:17 - 00:31:23:20
Stephanie
Have you seen the movie Inside Out, too?

00:31:23:22 - 00:31:26:14
Monica
No, I'm not a big moviegoer.

00:31:26:16 - 00:31:31:01
Seth
Okay. Why is that?

00:31:31:03 - 00:31:35:06
Monica
I'd rather be doing something else productive. Doing something. Doing something.

00:31:35:08 - 00:31:36:20
Seth
What about Blaine?

00:31:36:22 - 00:31:38:21
Monica
He loves movies.

00:31:38:23 - 00:31:43:16
Seth
So how does that work out? Like Blaine watches movies and you do something else?

00:31:43:18 - 00:31:59:00
Monica
if he wants to go to a movie and I'm not a fan of it, he usually gets the kids together and they go. and I'll find something else to do. I'm picky on my movies, like, you know, that's just not any interest to me.

00:31:59:02 - 00:32:11:10
Stephanie
I think you might like had you do see inside Out one now. Okay. No it's that stuff. And I laughed so much on Inside Out too because it really depicts the emotions that a teenager goes through.

00:32:11:10 - 00:32:13:02
Monica
Oh goodness.

00:32:13:04 - 00:32:27:00
Stephanie
It really was. I mean, it did make me cheer up and cry a few times too, you know, maybe it took me back to being a teenager. Yeah. Or feeling for my own teenagers. But but man, there were some because they hit it spot on.

00:32:27:02 - 00:32:46:21
Seth
It was great, actually, honestly, to take our kids, our young kids to, to help them quantify, you know, and to qualify their own emotions. Yeah. Right. To work through those and to recognize that they've got these, these, these little emotion, these little emotion buddies. Right. Going on going on in there. Right.

00:32:46:23 - 00:32:49:00
Stephanie
Well and that they're not alone like it's normal.

00:32:49:03 - 00:32:51:09
Monica
Yeah. You know everyone has all these.

00:32:51:11 - 00:32:52:02
Stephanie
Yeah. Yeah.

00:32:52:07 - 00:32:57:15
Monica
The movie has to be pretty amazing for me to like, step into the theater and give them 12 bucks.

00:32:57:17 - 00:32:58:09
Seth
Tuesdays.

00:32:58:14 - 00:33:00:13
Stephanie
$5, $5.02.

00:33:00:15 - 00:33:02:20
Monica
We have done that. We have done that.

00:33:02:22 - 00:33:07:02
Stephanie
Yeah. So usually when, when we go out and say, yeah.

00:33:07:04 - 00:33:14:12
Seth
Here is a movie and we've said it here before, you know, everybody is listening and listening to the episode. They're like, okay, here we go on Cabrini, have you seen Cabrini?

00:33:14:12 - 00:33:17:18
Monica
No, I want to see that I have not at time.

00:33:17:18 - 00:33:18:17
Seth
That movie is.

00:33:18:18 - 00:33:20:16
Monica
That one I would pay for you.

00:33:20:20 - 00:33:21:12
Stephanie
Definitely.

00:33:21:12 - 00:33:24:09
Seth
What best movie we've seen in the last five years.

00:33:24:10 - 00:33:25:04
Monica
Really?

00:33:25:04 - 00:33:27:08
Stephanie
It's way up there. Yeah, like I'll put.

00:33:27:08 - 00:33:30:10
Seth
That on my all time list of inspirational.

00:33:30:13 - 00:33:32:04
Monica
Right?

00:33:32:06 - 00:33:36:04
Seth
change your life. Movies like I like I like sports movies. All right?

00:33:36:07 - 00:33:36:21
Monica
I like those.

00:33:36:22 - 00:33:38:12
Seth
Like, you know, they're real.

00:33:38:12 - 00:33:40:17
Monica
Remember the real story, okay.

00:33:40:21 - 00:33:51:08
Seth
Facing the Giants. And, like, I love all those, you know, McFarland, you know, with Kevin Costner. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. How do you see McFarland? No. Oh, okay.

00:33:51:12 - 00:33:52:10
Monica
In that one.

00:33:52:12 - 00:33:54:10
Stephanie
But it's a good one.

00:33:54:12 - 00:33:56:09
Seth
Kubrick. Those are great.

00:33:56:11 - 00:33:57:06
Monica
Yeah.

00:33:57:08 - 00:34:00:01
Seth
Cabrini is a classic.

00:34:00:04 - 00:34:00:15
Monica
Wow.

00:34:00:17 - 00:34:06:18
Seth
Of storytelling. and especially people of faith. Angel Studios.

00:34:06:18 - 00:34:08:10
Monica
Yeah. Alejandro Mesa Verde, right?

00:34:08:15 - 00:34:09:03
Seth
I don't know.

00:34:09:09 - 00:34:10:06
Monica
I'm not sure, I.

00:34:10:10 - 00:34:10:18
Seth
Don't know.

00:34:10:21 - 00:34:12:01
Monica
I think that's his movie.

00:34:12:03 - 00:34:15:03
Stephanie
But that's amazing. I don't typically go to movies more than once.

00:34:15:05 - 00:34:15:19
Monica
Because, oh.

00:34:15:20 - 00:34:24:08
Stephanie
Yeah, I have a hard time watching them again. Unless I like, absolutely love them. Right. And I went again with our daughter and some friends and it was so good.

00:34:24:10 - 00:34:32:15
Monica
I just need to nail it down and do it. I some I just get busy and don't prioritize a movie.

00:34:32:17 - 00:34:52:15
Seth
I think obviously our, our audience is women. And so speaking to those women, every woman needs to see that movie. Oh to realize a little better who she is by watching this, you know, Mother Cabrini, to realize who she is and what she is capable of.

00:34:52:17 - 00:34:53:16
Monica
Oh, sure.

00:34:53:21 - 00:34:54:11
Stephanie
Yeah.

00:34:54:13 - 00:34:56:03
Monica
This was she had to fight.

00:34:56:03 - 00:34:56:19
Stephanie
Oh, this.

00:34:56:19 - 00:34:58:09
Seth
Woman basically told the Pope.

00:34:58:09 - 00:35:03:16
Monica
Yeah, jump in a like, respectfully, yes, I'm doing my thing.

00:35:03:16 - 00:35:05:18
Seth
Take your towel as you jump in the lake.

00:35:05:20 - 00:35:06:09
Monica
Yes.

00:35:06:10 - 00:35:20:23
Seth
Right. And and he responds to her sister. I don't know where your faith begins and your ambition ends. So badly was she had ambition. Ambition to she. What's wrong.

00:35:20:23 - 00:35:21:10
Monica
With that?

00:35:21:10 - 00:35:23:12
Seth
That. Absolutely. Yeah.

00:35:23:14 - 00:35:26:10
Monica
I probably could slow down a little bit. I don't know.

00:35:26:12 - 00:35:28:08
Stephanie
I could probably use some of your ambition.

00:35:28:14 - 00:35:32:05
Monica
Hey, we just need to hang out. Yeah, it.

00:35:32:05 - 00:35:33:13
Monica
Was.

00:35:33:15 - 00:35:38:18
Seth
This worth it? Yeah, it's worth. It's worth the time. 100% is so super inspiring.

00:35:38:18 - 00:35:40:01
Monica
Yeah.

00:35:40:03 - 00:35:45:20
Stephanie
All right. Monica, what are you most passionate about right now? And what are you doing about it?

00:35:45:21 - 00:35:51:17
Monica
I would say focusing on connection. I don't know. Give me my notes.

00:35:51:22 - 00:35:53:19
Monica
That would make me smart. More.

00:35:53:21 - 00:35:54:18
Seth
Hey.

00:35:54:20 - 00:36:04:11
Monica
Give me my novel. And by doing that, it's it's so much.

00:36:04:11 - 00:36:13:04
Monica
It's listening, it's learning, it's accepting. It's loving. Embracing.

00:36:13:06 - 00:36:21:13
Monica
Connection. It's it's a difficult thing for a lot of people. And so I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to to jump in and do it.

00:36:21:15 - 00:36:40:19
Seth
do you say that from a from, you know, a career standpoint, whether it was interior design or, or financial literacy. Now, you know, PR with the church or are you are you talking about just in general? I'm passionate about connecting in all facets of my life. Like what?

00:36:40:21 - 00:36:52:04
Monica
I would say the general I would say in general. so it just happens to work with the calling I have, I didn't have to really shift. maybe have gotten a little better.

00:36:52:04 - 00:36:53:19
Monica
At it.

00:36:53:21 - 00:37:12:04
Monica
Which hopefully this calling does for me on the latter level. I hope I get better at a lot of things. but I think connection is key. If you want to work with anybody, you have to be kind. You have to be loving. You have to be accepting. You have to be able to kind of bend.

00:37:12:04 - 00:37:17:14
Monica
When you don't want to bend.

00:37:17:16 - 00:37:18:10
Monica
So many things.

00:37:18:12 - 00:37:20:08
Monica
Right.

00:37:20:10 - 00:37:48:16
Monica
and it's a benefit in life. So if you have a hard time with connecting, just take a baby step. Figure out something to do to get you a little further into that process. And then once you master that, take another step. Do it again and again and again. hopefully build a good circle of people, right that love you and support you, and that gives you confidence to do it even more.

00:37:48:18 - 00:37:49:09
Monica

00:37:49:11 - 00:38:14:05
Seth
We ask a lot of women that question. Yeah. And, and I'm always I always love their answers because that's what they're invested in. Right? one thing I thought I found interesting when you said connection was when we typically talk about what are you passionate about? It usually is focused on a project, a business, a competition.

00:38:14:09 - 00:38:15:10
Monica
Yeah.

00:38:15:12 - 00:38:42:04
Seth
and I don't know if this has to do with maybe the transition that you're in right now. out, you know, kind of transitioning out of more secular, you know, working for gain, right? In a good way versus 100% focus on a volunteer service type of, outreach with church. But your answer wasn't even, you know, what I'm passionate about right now is PR for the church.

00:38:42:06 - 00:39:02:15
Seth
it was it was a little different, like a little more basic. when I say basic, foundational. Yeah, I'm focusing on connection. And something you wrote down in, in the the pre show novelette. was you talked about talking less and listening.

00:39:02:15 - 00:39:03:10
Monica
More, right.

00:39:03:15 - 00:39:05:16
Seth
Why why is that?

00:39:05:18 - 00:39:10:18
Monica
I think too often we want to say or prove that I'm right.

00:39:10:20 - 00:39:16:12
Monica
And I'm not going to lie. I like to be right. Who doesn't like to be right?

00:39:16:14 - 00:39:50:20
Monica
But you can't learn as somebody the ins and outs of somebody understand them. Their stories, their pain, their love. So many other things as well. If you're not listening, if you're always just talking and you've met people that just talk, right. And it's not a conversation, I don't want to be in that because I'm not really learning anything about you, because we're not going to be having a back and forth, and you're definitely not learning anything about me, which I.

00:39:50:20 - 00:39:57:02
Monica
Would totally be fine with. Like, that's okay, but it's just not fun.

00:39:57:04 - 00:40:07:12
Monica
it needs to be two sided and, I think that's an interesting point that you brought up that I said connecting instead of.

00:40:07:13 - 00:40:09:15
Seth
Growing a business winning this.

00:40:09:15 - 00:40:30:03
Monica
So I want to win $1 million or earn $1 million, because this one time we were sitting in the dentist's office and, the dentist, who is so wonderful, he's like to my daughter, what are the talents that you're focusing on right now? Are working on?

00:40:30:05 - 00:40:32:07
Monica
And I don't think she knew what to say.

00:40:32:09 - 00:40:41:17
Monica
I'm like, she's working on being a good friend. She's working on loving people. She's working on being happy and all these things. He was just like.

00:40:41:19 - 00:40:49:12
Monica
What, like those aren't things you could work on. Like, oh, instead of, oh, I take piano and voice and dance.

00:40:49:12 - 00:40:50:11
Monica
And then the volleyball team.

00:40:50:11 - 00:41:11:11
Monica
And and and and but you're not developing anything that has to do with character. I mean, she was in volleyball and she was in piano, but to me, those are just pieces of life that pass all of the things that we mentioned that she was working on for talent, was different. He was just like, oh my gosh.

00:41:11:13 - 00:41:14:01
Monica
I love that. He was so shocked.

00:41:14:03 - 00:41:30:09
Monica
By something else. And I think a lot of times when you talk to women, if you were to say that to them, they would be like, I'm not talented, I don't have any talents because they can't play the piano, sing, dance, rodeo.

00:41:30:11 - 00:41:33:14
Seth
Our girls did their first barrel. They did their first barrel race. Are you.

00:41:33:14 - 00:41:34:05
Monica
Serious?

00:41:34:05 - 00:41:54:21
Seth
I have a six year old. An eight year old? the first attempt at a little hometown rodeo. Oh, and, we're, I'm more. I am beyond excited. and they are to like. Oh, they got to want to do it right. But, and there was it was the windiest. It was a hurricane. It was it was bad there.

00:41:54:21 - 00:41:55:13
Seth
It was terrible.

00:41:55:13 - 00:41:57:21
Stephanie
I stayed in the truck with Ruth until they were up.

00:41:57:23 - 00:42:00:05
Monica
Oh, you're like oh. And I come back miserable.

00:42:00:05 - 00:42:10:05
Seth
Yeah. We rodeo and so and horses don't particularly. They're not particularly fond of wind you know hurricanes. And so they it was a learning experience. But anyway you were.

00:42:10:08 - 00:42:40:22
Monica
But you know what I mean though, right. Everyone loves to know all these things that you can see and be lauded for. And people don't look to say, wow, they are loving their kind, they're compassionate, they're considerate, they're friendly. Either this or that, which are things you'll have forever. and I think those are the things that we need to focus on, fostering and building in our children and our youth because it will bless people forever, you know.

00:42:40:23 - 00:42:45:14
Monica
Oh great. You can play the piano, but you are a mean person.

00:42:45:16 - 00:42:58:01
Monica
But I don't want anything to do with it. I'm sorry. Where to go? Oh. Thank you. Rough shout out. I don't know.

00:42:58:03 - 00:43:03:08
Seth
But you are a mean person. Sorry. No.

00:43:03:10 - 00:43:10:04
Monica
But you know what I mean. Yeah. You are. Yeah. You are angry. You are bitter.

00:43:10:06 - 00:43:11:05
Monica
You are.

00:43:11:06 - 00:43:11:12
Stephanie
Mental.

00:43:11:15 - 00:43:20:15
Monica
Sentimental. I don't want to be a part of it. Yeah. Nice to meet you.

00:43:20:17 - 00:43:49:16
Seth
I heard something lately, recently that I thought was some of the most profound advice from, like, a parent to a child. And it was really the advice was to parents. Hey, where we need to be focusing our efforts with our children is on having when we're especially speaking about thoughts about career. Right. And kind of that long term, you know, what do you want to do with with your talents, those things, the skills.

00:43:49:18 - 00:44:02:10
Seth
Right. Yeah. And basically it was saying we need to help them focus on bringing value to their organization.

00:44:02:10 - 00:44:04:22
Monica
You can always learn a skill.

00:44:05:00 - 00:44:05:14
Stephanie
Definitely.

00:44:05:18 - 00:44:06:06
Monica
Always.

00:44:06:07 - 00:44:07:03
Monica
At any age you can.

00:44:07:03 - 00:44:42:10
Monica
Be taught to do anything. Here I am in PR. I've never studied that. I've never been involved in that. but I can learn the skills needed to do my, my job. but you can't teach these things later in life, these basic innate qualities that make you an asset later in life. but I think they're more vital than this person is going to bring me a lot of money.

00:44:42:11 - 00:45:00:10
Seth
Well, you talked about listening. I had a mentor. It was former chairman, the American Heart Association. Right. Done. Sales entrepreneurship all over the world. And and he loved to speak. He was a great speaker. But he taught me this. He said, you know, Seth always listen.

00:45:00:12 - 00:45:01:02
Monica
Right?

00:45:01:04 - 00:45:30:12
Seth
Because if you listen to the other person, you already know what you know, right? Right. But now that you've listened to them, you know what they know, right? And that you called it a character. It's also a skill can can go a long ways, right? When, when if you are in business. Wow. If you know what you know and you know what they know, what can you do with that?

00:45:30:12 - 00:45:30:22
Monica
Right?

00:45:30:23 - 00:45:35:03
Seth
Right. Other than actually have connection. Right? I mean, even just for connections.

00:45:35:03 - 00:45:58:16
Monica
There's a lot of things you get from that, that connection, the friendship, hopefully, you know, you learn to love this person. you learn their skill, which helps you better your skills. You become a better asset. I mean, you could list a lot of things, but if you just sit there and talk someone's ear off that I don't know how that benefits anybody.

00:45:58:18 - 00:46:02:06
Monica
No connection is made. Yeah.

00:46:02:08 - 00:46:06:11
Stephanie
You can also find out maybe you don't want to be the friend right.

00:46:06:11 - 00:46:07:15
Monica
You can be like you have me.

00:46:07:21 - 00:46:09:20
Seth
My wingman there.

00:46:09:22 - 00:46:15:10
Monica
Yeah. That's like that's that comes in I mean you're just I.

00:46:15:12 - 00:46:28:05
Seth
I always I get in conversations like this and, and because I. I have I had the ability to communicate. Right.

00:46:28:07 - 00:46:29:14
Monica
Tell a good story okay.

00:46:29:14 - 00:46:51:14
Seth
Yes. So I'm a storyteller. I can tell a story. But it also always I always kind of try to have the self-awareness that okay, like I had this situation, I don't remember where it was the other day. And I got in this conversation with somebody and I don't think I well, I don't think I know I didn't really listen.

00:46:51:16 - 00:46:52:10
Monica

00:46:52:12 - 00:46:56:15
Seth
I didn't really listen to them. I got my point across.

00:46:56:17 - 00:47:00:11
Monica
Well, sometimes we're in those phases, right? When you need to get your point right. I'm.

00:47:00:12 - 00:47:06:15
Seth
I'm not beating myself up, but I'm just saying understanding again, if I, if I listen and I know where they are.

00:47:06:17 - 00:47:07:01
Monica
Right.

00:47:07:06 - 00:47:37:00
Seth
Then I have twice the knowledge, right? I know what I already knew and then I know what they know. And now I know how. What I know might be a benefit or a blessing or not. You know, it's like no alignment, no deal. And that's okay. Yeah. And I just, but I think of stuff and I think, you know, you don't you don't you would not, label yourself as the person who's going to sit in the center chair and speak most.

00:47:37:04 - 00:47:48:19
Seth
No, but but in our, in our business worldwide if we need connection. Yeah. There's a go to girl. It's elastigirl over.

00:47:48:19 - 00:47:55:00
Monica
Here. Elastigirl. I got to see that spandex. Oh.

00:47:55:02 - 00:48:04:03
Seth
So, no, it's like. Okay. Stuff like, we really need connection. You know, we.

00:48:04:03 - 00:48:04:17
Monica
We start out.

00:48:04:17 - 00:48:14:20
Seth
With some new people, like, can you sit by these people? Right. Because. Yeah, because she does have that, that innate character. Right.

00:48:15:01 - 00:48:16:19
Stephanie
Well, I love connecting with people.

00:48:16:20 - 00:48:18:22
Seth
Yeah. Listening to connect.

00:48:19:00 - 00:48:22:04
Monica
And you never know who that's going to be with. Right.

00:48:22:06 - 00:48:22:18
Stephanie
Yes.

00:48:22:20 - 00:48:37:15
Monica
I mean a few weeks ago I went to a gala for the new Gail Halvorson. It's kind of a museum heritage center. I mean just kinds of things, not just Spanish Fork, Utah and Spanish Fork.

00:48:37:15 - 00:48:39:19
Monica
You just her at the airport?

00:48:39:21 - 00:49:05:16
Monica
it was a beautiful event. I love him. his is probably my favorite modern day story of service and love and compassion and connecting out of a small, moment of service. It's just amazing to me. And I've had the chance to meet him and talk with him, and he's just like the best human and sound like.

00:49:05:16 - 00:49:09:06
Monica
Of course I'm going to go do that. I'm going to support that.

00:49:09:08 - 00:49:16:12
Monica
And it ended up that my dinner, I'm going to say, friend, because he can't be my date. He's not my husband. My dinner friend.

00:49:16:16 - 00:49:16:23
Monica
Is your.

00:49:16:23 - 00:49:19:22
Seth
Dinner date.

00:49:20:00 - 00:49:41:20
Monica
was a general for, you know, US military, and we just hit it off because again, what? He's just a person. And he just happens to be a general. But just great to just understand you know that he's got a couple of.

00:49:41:20 - 00:49:42:19
Monica
Bands and.

00:49:42:19 - 00:49:43:14
Monica
He lives here.

00:49:43:14 - 00:49:45:22
Monica
He's retiring. He's moving where, you know.

00:49:46:00 - 00:50:09:04
Monica
All these just little details that you would never see in an article or you never hear on the news. Right? It's always the big or the bad. so just to say, oh, I love you as a person of, of what we could do in this couple of hours. So got to be ready. Yes.

00:50:09:06 - 00:50:11:10
Monica
Always be ready. Yeah.

00:50:11:12 - 00:50:24:00
Seth
I still want to go grab my phone right now, because I want to look at a text thread from you. Oh, did did you not say something? Maybe I just made this up. Did you not say, I don't know, I have to offer to the show or something? Did you say yes?

00:50:24:00 - 00:50:24:17
Stephanie
She did.

00:50:24:17 - 00:50:25:14
Seth
Did she say something?

00:50:25:14 - 00:50:26:12
Stephanie
She did.

00:50:26:14 - 00:50:31:06
Monica
Well, cause I know your show is specific. I'm like, I don't know what I have to offer to that topic.

00:50:31:08 - 00:50:32:12
Seth
What is our show specific to?

00:50:32:12 - 00:50:35:21
Stephanie
Excuse me. Then how did you write a novel?

00:50:35:23 - 00:50:47:03
Monica
Well, I didn't know what kind of questions you ask me. Like I said, I was talking to a friend. I'm like, it's I'm doing an interview about self-care. Like, let me read this. What is that? I would be meaning on this.

00:50:47:05 - 00:50:50:15
Seth
First of all, here's how are you going to do a pedicure?

00:50:50:17 - 00:50:57:07
Monica
Yeah. So once I got into I'm like, oh, okay, I can, I can you're more than qualified.

00:50:57:09 - 00:51:05:04
Seth
As I'm sitting here listening to this conversation, when we were just sitting here on a beautiful summer, it is hot here. It's getting hot.

00:51:05:06 - 00:51:08:17
Monica
But it's a beautiful, beautiful view of yours sincerely.

00:51:08:17 - 00:51:14:21
Seth
Looking around, at the the mountain of the Lord's house. And the mountains, the Rocky Mountains.

00:51:14:22 - 00:51:16:08
Monica
Oh, it's beautiful skies.

00:51:16:08 - 00:51:17:22
Monica
And there's like ten chapel.

00:51:17:22 - 00:51:22:01
Monica
Steeples that I'm looking at right now. But I'm just saying, honey.

00:51:22:04 - 00:51:48:09
Seth
In this conversation, Monica. And I'm thinking, like, just free and easy. we're on point by the way, if you're wondering if we're rambling. Yeah, we're, we're just having a conversation though, right. And this show is, is made for I was going to say for women by women and me, I'm the resident and the resident rookie on the show.

00:51:48:11 - 00:51:53:19
Seth
But it's it's so that women can have a deep and meaningful conversation with friends.

00:51:53:20 - 00:51:54:20
Monica
Yeah.

00:51:54:22 - 00:52:23:17
Seth
At least once a week. And we hope you get more. We hope you have those connections, but we're going to bring you a show that really is going to enrich your life. The character piece. And I'm just thinking I'm so I'm we're just we barely we're just kind of into this. But I just I'm so glad that that you're here and that we're having this conversation because as you stated, I don't know what I have to contribute to the show, but you've dropped some really important.

00:52:23:19 - 00:52:24:11
Monica

00:52:24:13 - 00:52:40:07
Seth
Truth, right? And hope and a little bit of friendly best friend advice and an example, right. This this you're you're the epitome. I mean, this show's for you, right? So awesome. Here.

00:52:40:09 - 00:52:44:02
Monica
Thanks for I had to squeeze in.

00:52:44:04 - 00:52:51:03
Seth
We're glad that we made that cut because I tell you not we don't make the cut for everybody. That's true. And that's okay.

00:52:51:03 - 00:52:52:12
Monica
Oh that's okay. I just.

00:52:52:12 - 00:52:54:00
Monica
You know, you got fires.

00:52:54:02 - 00:52:55:05
Monica
What?

00:52:55:07 - 00:53:01:05
Monica
All kinds of irons in the fire. And you just have to let them sit there and burn for a little bit and.

00:53:01:07 - 00:53:02:00
Monica
Then go back.

00:53:02:00 - 00:53:04:06
Monica
And and finish all your tasks.

00:53:04:11 - 00:53:05:06
Stephanie
Yeah.

00:53:05:08 - 00:53:06:11
Monica
Yeah.

00:53:06:13 - 00:53:13:14
Stephanie
Okay. So when it comes to self-care for the mind, what is your biggest strength?

00:53:13:15 - 00:53:43:00
Monica
working through things quickly? just processing it, getting it in and out. because I think if you leave too many things sitting that it just weighs you down. if it's a hard thing, I'm not saying have the hard thing and just run from it. That's totally different. I'm saying work through that process that and and then say, okay, I'm over it, I'm through it, I'm around it, whatever I got to do.

00:53:43:00 - 00:54:13:22
Monica
Because some things you have to go around. until it's your time to say okay I've processed that, I'm good. And I hear a lot of stories and I know some of those things can stay for years or a lifetime. Right. which is hard. And so all the little things just like process it, get it done, get it over with.

00:54:14:00 - 00:54:15:15
Monica
not as a checklist thing to say.

00:54:15:16 - 00:54:16:23
Monica
Oh got that done with.

00:54:16:23 - 00:54:40:19
Monica
But just to say that okay. My, my mind is free of it. My heart is free of it. and now I'm ready for everything else that keeps coming because it doesn't stop. And the more you hold onto, you can accept anything more you weigh, whether that's good things or being ready to stand strong for the hard things.

00:54:40:21 - 00:54:52:23
Monica
Right. That will be more of a catastrophic event for you if you have too many other things going on that you haven't dealt with. So yeah, that's I'd say that's my strongest.

00:54:53:01 - 00:54:57:00
Seth
How do you approach that? I mean, when you say like, approach it, take care of it.

00:54:57:00 - 00:55:06:13
Monica
Like take care of it. It's not easy sometimes. Right. But,

00:55:06:15 - 00:55:25:05
Monica
So for, anonymity sake. I'm just going to make this neutral. So let's say you had a person that you really didn't understand their personality. and it showed.

00:55:25:07 - 00:55:35:21
Monica
Different things that you're like, I don't understand that. And I don't get that at all. I would never say that. I would never do that.

00:55:35:23 - 00:56:10:11
Monica
You have to try to work through that like oh is it me. Is it them. What's going on here. Right. But what's the dynamic here. And in this specific situation I just had to say I don't get it. But whatever it is I'm just going to forgive it so I don't have to think about it anymore. I'm going to I'm going to forgive a few years go by and you learn that they have a little bit of a condition, like an A.D.D., ADHD, autism, Asperger's.

00:56:10:17 - 00:56:35:23
Monica
What? It used to be called. Right? You learn, and you're like, oh, everything makes sense. All of it makes sense. And you. And then that moment you can say, I'm so glad I forgave you when I didn't have the reason to forgive. You just had to choose to forgive. because as soon as I did that, I have to worry about it anymore.

00:56:36:01 - 00:56:45:21
Monica
and so once I learned that everything else was when they do something weird, quirky, whatever, I could just.

00:56:45:21 - 00:56:49:08
Monica
Laugh instead of like, being embarrassed or.

00:56:49:10 - 00:56:51:12
Monica
Upset about it. I could just be like, oh, I.

00:56:51:12 - 00:56:52:17
Monica
Totally get it.

00:56:52:19 - 00:57:07:03
Monica
Right. so. That's just one thing, right? Just why you shouldn't worry on this and stew about it when you don't get it. You got to just forgive and.

00:57:07:05 - 00:57:10:05
Monica
Okay, next, because there's going to be something.

00:57:10:05 - 00:57:20:21
Monica
Else that you have to kind of observe and process trying to understand and it's not always a, you know, what can I cherese.

00:57:20:21 - 00:57:27:02
Monica
It's more like for a pet. So I think.

00:57:27:02 - 00:57:49:11
Monica
That, really focus on that. I you just it's not easy to step in and everyone's going to figure that out on their own. How that how that works in their mind. Right. The processes they have to go through personally. Do you need, counseling to work through something to get it off your heart, off your mind and use that?

00:57:49:12 - 00:58:02:06
Monica
if you don't have the built in skills, use what's assets you have in front of you because then you'll just be better. It'll be better for everyone around you, right? Because you're just.

00:58:02:08 - 00:58:04:04
Seth
Free. Free?

00:58:04:06 - 00:58:09:11
Stephanie
So, Monica, what does a healthy mindset mean to you and how has it impacted your life?

00:58:09:13 - 00:58:30:20
Monica
I think it comes down to letting the only positive things stay in your space, in your thought processes surrounding you, the people, everything. Music you listen to, you know, garbage in, garbage out. Right? Totally. What kind of music do you listen to to help you keep that? space.

00:58:30:20 - 00:58:31:11
Stephanie
Or movies.

00:58:31:16 - 00:58:55:05
Monica
The activities you participate in? Right. All of these things contribute to that. And I think that the more positive way you talk to yourself resonates louder than anyone might think. So growing up, my mom was all about positivity. You know, positive words, positive.

00:58:55:07 - 00:58:57:02
Monica
Energy, positive vibes.

00:58:57:04 - 00:59:39:07
Monica
Positive affirmations. and so I grew up with that. And I understand completely that not everyone had that blessing. Parents can be mean sometimes. Parents can be cruel, right? And we know this. We hear stories. So I had that gift. And because of that, it's with me still. All of the things that you you want to accomplish, you know, all of the things that take you, that you need to take you to these places, you can't do any of them if you're just letting all of this harshness sit with you and lead you.

00:59:39:09 - 00:59:46:09
Monica
Yeah, right. Your thoughts lead you. So here's just a funny story.

00:59:46:11 - 00:59:51:20
Monica
And my guys time we we've been talking about I like, you know in the morning when.

00:59:51:20 - 00:59:59:07
Monica
I wake up and you first look in the mirror, you know this is not going to be like, beautiful when I walk out of bed. Let's just be honest.

00:59:59:11 - 01:00:01:22
Monica
It's going to be a total mess. And you look.

01:00:01:22 - 01:00:15:12
Monica
In the mirror. What's the first things that you say to yourself when you wake up? Oh my gosh, that's a mess. You're a mess, you're ugly. You're unpredictable. Whatever the phrase is that comes to you. But mine is always.

01:00:15:12 - 01:00:29:09
Monica
Ooh, you're hot. Total sarcasm. Because that is not it's a total mess and you're just looking in the mirror. You know how Morning face looks, right? Just like, oh, I'm up. I'm not present quite yet.

01:00:29:11 - 01:00:31:16
Monica
And so to start with that.

01:00:31:20 - 01:00:33:18
Monica
Even though it's total sarcasm.

01:00:33:20 - 01:00:34:09
Monica
It's a more.

01:00:34:09 - 01:00:37:19
Monica
Positive way of than saying, oh, you are so ugly this.

01:00:37:19 - 01:00:47:08
Monica
Morning. How would that start off your day if that was your verbiage to yourself every single day? that's harsh. Totally. That's harsh.

01:00:47:08 - 01:00:52:17
Monica
And I totally laugh at myself. I mean, how can you not laugh at yourself.

01:00:52:17 - 01:00:53:19
Monica
At the messy hair and.

01:00:53:19 - 01:01:03:23
Monica
The glasses are on and you're pajamas are skewed and it's just like the perfect picture of the day. And then, I mean, you work it out and you put yourself together.

01:01:04:01 - 01:01:26:02
Monica
But we need to start talking better to ourselves. And if we're talking guitar ourselves, we're talking better to others, right? Looking at people. Others. Because how we view ourselves is usually then projected onto others. How do we view others? And so if we could bring that in a little bit, all of our head spaces.

01:01:26:04 - 01:01:27:00
Monica
Would be so much better.

01:01:27:00 - 01:01:28:13
Monica
Our mindset would be better.

01:01:28:15 - 01:01:30:04
Seth
What a gift from your mother.

01:01:30:09 - 01:01:39:04
Monica
Oh for sure. I mean, she was an original. People didn't understand that. They didn't believe it. They had a hard time.

01:01:39:06 - 01:01:40:21
Seth
I bet she was a she was a unicorn.

01:01:40:23 - 01:01:42:02
Monica
Oh, totally.

01:01:42:04 - 01:01:46:20
Monica
Totally unicorn. Positive words throughout the house, you know, taped.

01:01:46:20 - 01:01:47:19
Monica
Everywhere right behind.

01:01:47:19 - 01:01:48:18
Seth
Her. She was the original.

01:01:48:18 - 01:01:55:07
Monica
Pulling these down like, these are so tacky. It doesn't go with the decor. Mom, I just like the clash.

01:01:55:07 - 01:01:56:17
Seth
Of the interior designer.

01:01:56:18 - 01:01:59:06
Monica
I was. I'm like, this is so tacky.

01:01:59:08 - 01:02:00:20
Stephanie
She should have put them in picture frames.

01:02:00:20 - 01:02:07:10
Monica
She should have, she should have. And over the years she has advanced to framing the positive affirmations.

01:02:07:14 - 01:02:10:04
Seth
But she was pre vinyl lettering.

01:02:10:06 - 01:02:17:12
Monica
Oh yes. The white paper was, oh, she was the original emoji maker.

01:02:17:14 - 01:02:25:02
Monica
Everything was smiley faces and loves and hugs and whatevers. Right. If she wrote you a card it was like at a heart here.

01:02:25:02 - 01:02:30:16
Monica
Smiley face little aunt here. Right. Whatever she could draw.

01:02:30:18 - 01:02:40:02
Monica
I, I totally see that as the blessing when you come in contact with people you know that didn't have that positivity.

01:02:40:04 - 01:02:47:17
Stephanie
Something I, started doing several years ago is writing those types of phrases. I am phrases on my hair.

01:02:47:21 - 01:02:48:12
Monica
Yeah.

01:02:48:13 - 01:02:54:21
Stephanie
And, so any I pass by it or looking at it or those, those one words would be.

01:02:54:21 - 01:02:55:11
Monica
Jumps out at.

01:02:55:11 - 01:02:56:05
Stephanie
You. The line.

01:02:56:06 - 01:02:57:22
Monica
Yeah. Yeah, that.

01:02:57:22 - 01:02:59:03
Stephanie
Was super helpful.

01:02:59:05 - 01:03:08:07
Monica
And I don't think that people understand you could write a list of the things you are, if you just sat down and focused on it, only positive.

01:03:08:07 - 01:03:09:08
Stephanie
Consistently.

01:03:09:10 - 01:03:18:09
Monica
Right? Nothing I am you can't write down I am fat, I am slow, I'm not athletic. I'm right. Yeah. I mean, but that's what comes to people's mind.

01:03:18:09 - 01:03:20:09
Seth
But that's that's what's in the mind.

01:03:20:10 - 01:03:21:11
Monica
That's what's in the mind.

01:03:21:11 - 01:03:23:07
Seth
You have to constantly.

01:03:23:07 - 01:03:23:10
Monica
You.

01:03:23:10 - 01:03:38:18
Monica
Know, totally change that and be like, I am amazing at this. I have a gift of this. I am this, I'm a blessing to so-and-so. I'm a, you know, and if you have you ever seen the show overcomer. Yes.

01:03:38:18 - 01:03:41:13
Monica
The movie. Yeah. Have you seen that movie I actually saw.

01:03:41:15 - 01:03:43:09
Seth
I did, but I fell asleep.

01:03:43:11 - 01:03:46:13
Monica
Oh. Oh that's such a good thing. It was.

01:03:46:13 - 01:03:48:15
Seth
Late at night and all in all.

01:03:48:20 - 01:03:50:09
Monica
Such a good message.

01:03:50:11 - 01:04:05:16
Monica
You know, it's about her jumping into the Bible and reading these specific verses. And I wish I had those at the top of my mind, because I know I have them listed in my phone and it just goes through certain things as, as I am.

01:04:05:20 - 01:04:06:22
Monica
Bam, bam, bam, bam.

01:04:06:22 - 01:04:31:19
Monica
Bam. And it's just powerful. Like, you know, God is speaking to you that you are this amazing being. You're this amazing creation and you're totally bringing yourself down. You're degrading yourself. you're treating your body less than it is. you're beautifully made. Why? Why aren't we jumping in to understanding that?

01:04:31:21 - 01:04:39:17
Stephanie
Well, I I'm such a visual person that. So when you were saying that made me think of, you know, God handing you a gift and you took it and destroyed.

01:04:39:21 - 01:04:49:17
Monica
Oh, yeah, there's so much beauty in people. And then they go and, you know, do all these things that are available today to change themselves.

01:04:49:19 - 01:04:50:10
Stephanie
Yes.

01:04:50:12 - 01:05:08:14
Monica
From what they already were, this beautiful person. Yes. And I can only understand, try and understand, you know, what's going on inside. like.

01:05:08:16 - 01:05:36:23
Seth
Well, you said you said you didn't let those thoughts stay. Yeah. When you answer your initial answer was, I only keep the positivity. So. Right. Are you saying that I mean, you have these you have these these actors coming onto your stage of life. Yeah. Who aren't nice. The meanies as well. But you just like, what do you do about that?

01:05:37:01 - 01:05:40:13
Monica
Are you talking thoughts or actual people?

01:05:40:15 - 01:05:42:05
Seth
No. Yeah.

01:05:42:05 - 01:05:44:11
Stephanie
Wondering the same thing. So.

01:05:44:13 - 01:05:45:09
Monica

01:05:45:11 - 01:06:01:08
Monica
I don't I I'll be honest, I don't get a lot of negative thoughts. because I'm pretty protected in that space because of years of training. Training. Right. and I'm always.

01:06:01:08 - 01:06:12:04
Monica
Just like, oh, you know what, team you are not winning today. I don't even think about it. Right. This is not your space.

01:06:12:06 - 01:06:19:04
Monica
And it's not going to happen. and if something does creep in and just, you know, oh.

01:06:19:06 - 01:06:23:04
Monica
Okay, let's move through that, whatever that was and just be done with it.

01:06:23:06 - 01:06:51:03
Monica
And that space does encompass people, right? People can bring different energies. And if you're like, you know what? I just there's something negative here or whatever you can move on from that. That's your life. You do not have to keep people in your life that can bring you down, weigh you down. You can be kind to people, loving to people, but that does not grant them access to your space.

01:06:51:03 - 01:07:16:03
Monica
And I think people need to be more controlling of that. That is their life, that is their space. and the more you can do that, then you'll surround yourself with the best people, the nicest, the friendliest, the kindest, whatever you need. Right? Sometimes you need that powerful right. Someone that's just like, I got it all in me, right?

01:07:16:07 - 01:07:24:16
Monica
Why can't they be in your space if they. If they work with it? But, you know, when someone doesn't work with what you need.

01:07:24:18 - 01:07:49:13
Seth
How do you balance the call of Christianity, which is to give a life service, to those, to to anyone, regardless of label. And, you know, we look at the Bible, you know, in Scripture, we know that Jesus spent a lot of his time. Yes, he was training a leadership corps.

01:07:49:15 - 01:07:50:17
Monica
Right.

01:07:50:19 - 01:08:22:13
Seth
And he chose to spend his time with at that time, the lower the lower classes or people who are struggling or people who were, carrying demons, right? Right. the evil spirits in the hearts of men, as it says in Scripture, how do you balance that with at the same time, controlling your space? Right. Like I'm like, I think sometimes we hear, sorry for bumping you again.

01:08:22:15 - 01:08:25:05
Monica
it's the man's manspreading spreading.

01:08:25:07 - 01:08:26:09
Monica
Conversely.

01:08:26:11 - 01:08:30:18
Seth
Speaking of space.

01:08:30:20 - 01:08:59:04
Seth
Sometimes, you know, life is truly about balancing, right? Different principles like how do you balance your space and owning that, and at the same time sharing what you have the light, the truth, the love, the passion, the finances with somebody who doesn't. Right. Who might be a big pain in the butt. Right. And with a lot of negativity.

01:08:59:04 - 01:09:09:02
Seth
So how do you, how do you, how do you answer the call of Christianity and create boundaries. Oh okay. Thanks. Thanks for answering.

01:09:09:04 - 01:09:10:00
Monica
Is that what you're saying?

01:09:10:00 - 01:09:10:17
Monica
Yeah, I think so.

01:09:10:17 - 01:09:37:00
Monica
Create boundaries. I mean, I think Christian is the best example of why so many things write everything. I have no problem being with the lowest of the low. I, I have absolutely no problem with that. I've helped build a house in Mexico for a cute old lady, and I don't know that she had two pennies to rub together.

01:09:37:02 - 01:10:05:12
Monica
And there's something in humility and in the humble that you can't get. Maybe in other social classes that can teach you and touch you and bless you. It's just beautiful. I'll give anyone a chance, but if you take that chance to ruin it, then you know I am a big believer is. And if someone shows you who they are, believe them.

01:10:05:14 - 01:10:28:20
Monica
that doesn't mean, oh, they're going to be different next time and next time and next time and next time. Right. And so I do believe people when they show me and tell me who they are. So here's an example. in November and in April, I lived on the streets to be homeless for like seven hours, right?

01:10:28:22 - 01:10:35:16
Monica
Just to experience the basics of it, walking on the street, the weather, freezing cold rain.

01:10:35:18 - 01:10:36:12
Seth
You did that.

01:10:36:14 - 01:10:56:08
Monica
I did that. Where do they go for help? Where do they sleep? How do they shower? How do they go to bathroom? Right. All the things that we don't think about, and in the last opportunity I had to do this, there was a lady there that was homeless on the streets. I would say for at least two decades.

01:10:56:10 - 01:11:26:11
Monica
And she's no longer homeless. But she approached me with some, obviously, anger inside of her hurt, turmoil. Trauma. and she told me her story. I'm like, I can't say I understand because I don't understand what you've been through, but I can have empathy for your situation, and I can listen to you. And she was, you know, abrasive and harsh towards a few things.

01:11:26:11 - 01:11:37:09
Monica
And but I think because I took the time to listen to her story and understand her, she understood that I was being real. I wasn't just like, oh, I'm sorry about.

01:11:37:09 - 01:11:40:17
Monica
That, you know, good luck.

01:11:40:19 - 01:11:42:11
Monica
And by the end of the night, she's like.

01:11:42:14 - 01:11:44:16
Monica
Here's my phone number.

01:11:44:18 - 01:11:45:04
Monica

01:11:45:06 - 01:11:45:19
Monica
You know.

01:11:46:00 - 01:12:08:09
Monica
I really believe that you were sincere in what we were discussing. So if I wouldn't have given her that moment to work through whatever she needed to get off her chest, and we wouldn't have arrived at the end where it's like, I love you. I'm grateful for you. I'm sorry for your struggles because I haven't experienced any of that, and I don't know that I will.

01:12:08:09 - 01:12:13:09
Monica
So I think you still need to give everyone a chance, even when they show their.

01:12:13:11 - 01:12:15:16
Monica
Show their claws and try.

01:12:15:16 - 01:12:43:10
Monica
To work it out. It doesn't always work, but everyone deserves a chance and we learn so much from Christ's example of just being everywhere. But you also need to understand that he drew boundaries. He was loving and considerate and compassionate, and all of these amazing gifts that we're trying to aspire to. But he also had lines of, no, that's not okay.

01:12:43:12 - 01:13:04:22
Monica
No, that's not something that I'm willing to do if it's taking me out of my morals or something like that. Right. why can't we drive boundaries for our own lives? Why? Why do we let people draw boundaries for our lives? So I think when we can figure that out again, different for every situation again frees up space.

01:13:05:00 - 01:13:07:19
Monica
Oh they're not come in here. So I'm going to do x y z.

01:13:07:21 - 01:13:08:07
Stephanie
Yes.

01:13:08:08 - 01:13:09:05
Monica
Right.

01:13:09:07 - 01:13:20:01
Stephanie
They can be really hard to learn and implement. It's one thing to know what a boundary is. It's another to actually put it in practice. For me it some people are a lot easier to do that with.

01:13:20:05 - 01:13:21:06
Monica
Right.

01:13:21:08 - 01:13:32:16
Stephanie
I find that family is a lot harder. But yeah, I mean, a lot of thoughts on batteries. Yeah, they're really good. Yeah, they can bring a lot of peace into your life.

01:13:32:18 - 01:13:33:23
Monica

01:13:34:01 - 01:13:38:07
Stephanie
That I feel like it can also be an invitation to bring people into the peace.

01:13:38:09 - 01:13:39:14
Monica
Oh, for sure.

01:13:39:16 - 01:13:50:10
Monica
You can let anyone into your space that you want, right? Yeah, but you're the decider. Yes, unfortunately. Unfortunately, I mean, I don't want to be mean.

01:13:50:12 - 01:13:51:06
Stephanie
Yes.

01:13:51:08 - 01:14:01:02
Seth
I heard somebody put boundaries this way. I mean, I don't know, maybe ten years ago we started to talk about this word boundary. It seemed like it started to come into play.

01:14:01:02 - 01:14:04:07
Stephanie
That's when I came into your life.

01:14:04:09 - 01:14:19:18
Seth
Actually, I'm going to say it was before them, and I know. And sometime around there in the last decade or whatever. And I'm like, what do you mean by boundaries? Like, what does that means? Like there's a fence and I can't go, you know, I was like, what does that mean? Or somebody might say to you, well, you're crossing my boundaries.

01:14:19:18 - 01:14:24:12
Seth
I'm like, dude, I'm just sitting here like, yeah, you know, some.

01:14:24:12 - 01:14:30:00
Monica
People's boundaries are are really close, right? And some are very wide.

01:14:30:05 - 01:14:33:04
Monica
And so you don't know when you've crossed over to someone's space.

01:14:33:06 - 01:14:34:01
Seth
And one thing I saw.

01:14:34:02 - 01:14:35:04
Monica
Wasn't you said.

01:14:35:06 - 01:14:51:06
Seth
Yeah, well, yeah. So one thing I learned was having a healthy boundary. Yeah. Is, is, you know, a line or limit that you've created, you know, a space that doesn't require anything from anybody else.

01:14:51:08 - 01:14:52:00
Monica
Right?

01:14:52:00 - 01:15:10:05
Seth
And I was like, oh, that just helped me, right? Like me just breathe. Like, if somebody says you're crossing my boundary because I'm sitting here with a hat and boots on, I'm sorry. Yeah. Like I didn't do anything. Right. Well, I have this boundary. I can't be around cowboys. Then guess what?

01:15:10:07 - 01:15:11:02
Stephanie
You're welcome to leave.

01:15:11:04 - 01:15:37:23
Seth
It's like. Like how having a healthy boundary, having boundaries or healthy boundaries isn't telling everybody else what they can't do. Oh, right around right? Right. It's more about how are you going to to act or respond. Like I say, react, right in that environment? Oh of course. So if I'm around somebody wearing hats and boots and I know that I need to remove myself, that's that can be a that's right.

01:15:38:01 - 01:15:41:14
Seth
A little weird, but that, that at least is simplified explained.

01:15:41:14 - 01:15:42:12
Monica
Exactly.

01:15:42:14 - 01:15:51:16
Seth
That's setting a healthy boundary for yourself then. Okay, I'm going to remove myself from the situation. Not that that person, needs to go right?

01:15:51:16 - 01:15:59:06
Monica
Right. Because if you remove yourself that it's to one person. If you start putting all these demands on people, that's.

01:15:59:06 - 01:16:01:14
Monica
Everybody else around you.

01:16:01:17 - 01:16:02:02
Stephanie
Right?

01:16:02:02 - 01:16:03:04
Monica
Yes.

01:16:03:06 - 01:16:04:12
Monica
that's not healthy.

01:16:04:14 - 01:16:06:13
Stephanie
Well, then it's sane within your own control.

01:16:06:14 - 01:16:08:10
Monica
Yeah, yeah. Your control.

01:16:08:10 - 01:16:09:16
Monica
Your thoughts, your emotions.

01:16:09:16 - 01:16:28:06
Stephanie
I'm inviting you into my space. As long as you know these things, like honor those. Yes. And and that's what this is what it looks like, you know, not yelling at me, not degrading, not, you know, certain behaviors. And, you know, it's an invitation. They don't have to accept it.

01:16:28:08 - 01:16:38:17
Seth
It just help me because I know a lot of people throw around these words boundaries. I've got my boundaries and, well, yeah, but your boundary, your bound, your boundaries can never handcuff.

01:16:38:19 - 01:16:42:07
Monica
Some other people exist. Right? I love that that's true.

01:16:42:09 - 01:16:45:07
Seth
I mean, here's you here it here on the for every young show.

01:16:45:08 - 01:17:13:21
Monica
Here's here's an example. I have a friend who is, going through a divorce and so that's something completely new to her life. She has to learn boundaries like that. and that's hard because you've got emotion and love and friendship and kids and family, extended family history, history involved. And there's.

01:17:13:21 - 01:17:14:22
Stephanie
So much investment.

01:17:15:02 - 01:17:20:19
Monica
To to watch her try and navigate that is that's hard. I had to be like.

01:17:20:21 - 01:17:29:16
Monica
That's not okay. That says that that's not okay. That he wants to say that that's not okay, that he wants to still do that when it's severed.

01:17:29:18 - 01:17:41:04
Monica
It's not. I can pick and choose what I want from both sides. Yes, it's severed. And, you know, that's just one situation of trying to navigate all of these things. It's like this now.

01:17:41:05 - 01:17:53:11
Seth
Well, it's a new relationship, right? We're redefining relationship because of that. Yes. We have to set up new parameters. Right. You know, a new constitution. Yeah. Constitution is a boundary, a set of boundaries. Right? Right.

01:17:53:11 - 01:17:57:07
Monica
And helps keep the peace thing. Like if you look at it that way, it helps keep the peace.

01:17:57:07 - 01:18:08:16
Stephanie
Totally. And if you think about it like it just dawned on me, like how many people are going through divorces that have healthy boundaries. Do you know anybody?

01:18:08:18 - 01:18:23:03
Monica
Probably very few. I think it's because they're just thrown into this new wiggly line. Right. There's no straight clear clear cut and every single one is going to be different.

01:18:23:05 - 01:18:23:15
Stephanie
Oh for.

01:18:23:15 - 01:18:24:08
Monica
Sure. Right, right.

01:18:24:08 - 01:18:32:07
Monica
I mean how many people do you have in the middle of this. Yeah. for 1270 right.

01:18:32:07 - 01:18:36:10
Monica
Yeah. Then you have that many more dynamics to work into it. So yeah. Yeah.

01:18:36:12 - 01:18:37:17
Monica
Hard.

01:18:37:19 - 01:18:50:22
Stephanie
So Monica can you share with us, any experiences you've had with overcoming self-doubt or imposter syndrome? you know, and any advice that you'd give to somebody struggling with those issues?

01:18:51:00 - 01:18:57:03
Monica
I don't really struggle with self-doubt, or imposter syndrome.

01:18:57:05 - 01:18:58:19
Seth
You need to write a book on this.

01:18:58:21 - 01:19:00:16
Monica
I don't know how to write a book on that. Okay.

01:19:00:17 - 01:19:02:11
Seth
Well, we can you can learn that skill.

01:19:02:13 - 01:19:07:23
Monica
Oh, gosh. My English teacher might roll over in his grave.

01:19:08:00 - 01:19:09:15
Seth
Just did. That's that's why they get.

01:19:09:15 - 01:19:10:18
Monica
What.

01:19:10:20 - 01:19:12:01
Seth
An editor.

01:19:12:03 - 01:19:12:17
Monica

01:19:12:19 - 01:19:15:07
Seth
You invalidate your English teacher, they'd be like.

01:19:15:07 - 01:19:20:04
Monica
He'd be like, wow, I was a rock star teacher. and part of.

01:19:20:04 - 01:19:30:11
Monica
That, I think, is just because, you have to give yourself leeway and know that your life is ever changing. You're going to be giving these tasks, these.

01:19:30:11 - 01:19:33:08
Monica
Monumental changes in your.

01:19:33:08 - 01:19:40:14
Monica
Life here and there, that you'll need to work through. And you just need to give yourself grace, like, okay, I'm starting.

01:19:40:14 - 01:19:41:13
Monica
This.

01:19:41:15 - 01:19:55:10
Monica
And, so I know I'm going to mess up. That's just a given. Let's start with that so that when you do, you're not like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I did that. Well, you should believe that you did.

01:19:55:10 - 01:19:57:02
Monica
That because you've never.

01:19:57:02 - 01:20:20:20
Monica
Been here before. Exactly. So let's just start it off being real. You're going to mess up. You're going to make mistakes. But guess what you're going to learn from those. I love that phrase. sometimes I win and sometimes I learn. You learn. Right? I don't ever lose. Yes. and I laugh a lot.

01:20:20:22 - 01:20:22:13
Monica
And whatever, I'm like, oh my.

01:20:22:13 - 01:20:24:15
Seth
Gosh, that's in the title of the book, by the way. Something with.

01:20:24:16 - 01:20:25:03
Monica
Laughing.

01:20:25:08 - 01:20:27:19
Monica
I should just because I laugh a lot.

01:20:27:20 - 01:20:30:03
Seth
Yes. The guide to Self-care A.

01:20:30:03 - 01:20:39:02
Monica
Guide to Self-care because you just have to. When you look at it, you're just like, oh my gosh, I was such a fool in that situation. Oh my gosh, that was ridiculous. How could I not have seen that.

01:20:39:02 - 01:20:47:15
Monica
In that moment? looking back, you know, we're a little a little bit wiser. And my family laughs at me. We laugh at me together.

01:20:47:17 - 01:20:53:02
Monica
Oh, yeah. Just like some of the stuff that I have to post or.

01:20:53:04 - 01:20:54:02
Monica
make for social.

01:20:54:02 - 01:21:00:11
Monica
Media. I'm just like, that's just the most ridiculous thing that's so embarrassing. And they validate me, like like, yes.

01:21:00:13 - 01:21:02:12
Seth
Yes, we were embarrassed for you.

01:21:02:14 - 01:21:11:04
Monica
We are embarrassed with you. It's, it's just awful. I like, I know I because I've never been here before, and that's what it is.

01:21:11:07 - 01:21:22:19
Monica
I'm trying to pieces together. I don't know any of this technology. I don't know the ins and outs of Facebook and Instagram and YouTube algorithms and whatever. And I don't like filming myself.

01:21:22:19 - 01:21:36:10
Monica
And so this is what you get and it's just real. And I'm so sorry. Hopefully it'll be more polished in a couple of years. But you got to realize that that's just the path. And why can't you laugh at it.

01:21:36:10 - 01:22:00:06
Monica
Why do you have to beat yourself down. Why do you have to criticize yourself in all these new spaces which can be every day? if you're beating yourself down every day because you did something wrong or you made a mistake, how can you ever grow beyond an inch? Know, You'll never reach your potential. You'll never shine.

01:22:00:11 - 01:22:09:13
Monica
You'll never be able to spread your wings and to do amazing things. and hopefully you'll find people out there that will be like.

01:22:09:13 - 01:22:14:12
Monica
Oh, yes, you're going to do that? Let me help you do that happen. Right.

01:22:14:14 - 01:22:26:01
Stephanie
Like that. He he, just recently for the nonprofit organization that I'm on the board for. Yeah, they asked me to be the fundraising chairwoman. and I was like, Madam.

01:22:26:01 - 01:22:26:15
Seth
Chairwoman.

01:22:26:15 - 01:22:48:19
Stephanie
I'm not. I'm sure I don't know about this. I'm like, this is 100% out of my comfort zone. Never done it before in my life, you know, especially taking on such a big leadership role. Right. It scares me to death. Right. And stuff, as has been my cheerleader all along the way. You know, you can do this. You're learning.

01:22:48:19 - 01:23:05:14
Stephanie
You're made for this. And I'm just like, I seriously would have quit so long ago if I did not have them. Yeah, cheering me on and saying, it's okay. Like you have people here. I mean, the board is very supportive and encouraging to you, but they don't understand.

01:23:05:16 - 01:23:11:03
Monica
I don't think that being in that starstruck moment of like, wait.

01:23:11:03 - 01:23:12:05
Monica
What is.

01:23:12:05 - 01:23:14:11
Monica
Self-doubt.

01:23:14:13 - 01:23:15:08
Stephanie
Minus.

01:23:15:09 - 01:23:17:20
Monica
Oh, right.

01:23:17:22 - 01:23:20:17
Monica
Okay. Let's talk. Do this. We're going to talk to this.

01:23:20:19 - 01:23:36:01
Monica
So to me self doubt is, I'm not worthy of this. I'm not capable of x, y, z. Right. All of those things. But to be like surprise.

01:23:36:03 - 01:23:37:07
Monica

01:23:37:08 - 01:23:45:09
Monica
And kind of in this space of, oh, how that's not soft, how that's just a point of adjustment and shifting.

01:23:45:11 - 01:23:46:18
Stephanie
I'm doing both.

01:23:46:20 - 01:23:55:18
Monica
Okay. And which, you know, and both and so you're going to bring the positive, you're gonna bring all that positive stuff. And,

01:23:55:20 - 01:24:05:17
Monica
So when I got this calling, you cannot look at me and tell me that my eyes are big as dollars. And I didn't ball my eyes out for a month.

01:24:05:19 - 01:24:07:16
Stephanie
That makes me feel better, right?

01:24:07:18 - 01:24:31:11
Monica
And it wasn't because of self-doubt. It was just like, this is a change. Look what I have to leave behind. I had to be released from my state calling to receive this calling. I'm having to step back from another, calling that I have that I've loved. had to step away from work so that you're processing emotions.

01:24:31:11 - 01:24:49:23
Monica
And there's nothing wrong with processing emotions. at all. Right. But when you have a shift, you're going to have a reaction. But just don't let the negative thoughts come in of, oh, yes, I got this calling. But, XYZ is.

01:24:50:01 - 01:24:50:15
Seth
I'm not this.

01:24:50:15 - 01:24:51:19
Monica
Against me.

01:24:51:21 - 01:24:52:17
Seth
That enough?

01:24:52:20 - 01:25:07:02
Monica
Right. You can't let those even enter your space, right? It's like okay, I'm going to learn this. I'm going to try my best at that. And in a year check in with me and I, and I guarantee you it would be a different situation. Be like, I'm a rock star.

01:25:07:04 - 01:25:13:14
Monica
I'm shocked that, oh my gosh, look what we were able to accomplish. I'm stronger at this or I need to work on that.

01:25:13:14 - 01:25:32:16
Monica
And there's nothing wrong with self evaluation and I definitely. And if you have the right friends to even say, what can I do better? There's nothing wrong with saying that. Oh, can you watch this for me and give me an evaluation? Not to knock me, but so I can improve. I can be better. I've got no problem with that.

01:25:32:16 - 01:25:35:07
Monica
If it's going to help me be better.

01:25:35:12 - 01:25:36:23
Monica
Yeah, give me criticism.

01:25:37:01 - 01:25:44:14
Monica
I don't care. Sometimes it might sting if you're not.

01:25:44:14 - 01:25:56:20
Monica
Asking for the evaluation, right. If it just is like, oh, I'm just thinking of, like, situations with all these things I know.

01:25:56:20 - 01:25:58:22
Stephanie
Right? That's like laughing.

01:25:59:00 - 01:26:03:17
Monica
Right? Yes. Lovely.

01:26:03:19 - 01:26:27:10
Monica
But, you know, I had to do a lot of presentations. within the financial career, it takes a lot to become number one, I should say number one in Utah, number one in the mainland. because there's different spaces that it was in. You don't just start there. And again, that was new for me to help my friend want his company here.

01:26:27:10 - 01:26:46:20
Monica
That's that was never my realm, never my dream, never my goals. But I was willing to step in and help him. And that was awesome. And you just process it all. I would record these, these all these things I had to do and I'd send them to a friend. Hey can you watch this for me. Give me some tips.

01:26:46:20 - 01:26:52:07
Monica
What did I miss. What am I doing. So I can fine tune it and be better. That's the process.

01:26:52:09 - 01:26:52:22
Stephanie
Oh, yeah?

01:26:53:02 - 01:26:55:03
Monica
What's wrong with a process?

01:26:55:05 - 01:26:55:16
Stephanie
Nothing.

01:26:55:18 - 01:27:08:09
Monica
Nothing. But yeah, we beat ourselves up because we're in a process. I don't I don't think that's how we're supposed to live life. Love the process. Even when it's like a sideswipe.

01:27:08:11 - 01:27:14:17
Monica
Like out of the blue. Oh, sorry about that. I'll be better.

01:27:14:19 - 01:27:16:23
Stephanie
That's a great description.

01:27:17:01 - 01:27:19:20
Monica
Cause sometimes it is, right. You're like, I think I'm doing great.

01:27:19:20 - 01:27:22:10
Monica
And then it just some can come atcha.

01:27:22:12 - 01:27:23:21
Stephanie
Or a bad truck.

01:27:23:22 - 01:27:26:16
Monica
Yeah, yeah, with a mack truck sometimes.

01:27:26:18 - 01:27:42:13
Monica
But if you got again, like I said, that space is just clear. You've worked through all the little things. You don't have a ton of things still weighing on you. You can process that a lot faster and easier and just be done with it. And be on your way, whatever time frame that is for you. But hopefully faster.

01:27:42:15 - 01:27:47:19
Stephanie
Yeah I'm feeling better but still at the beginning stages of it. So it's.

01:27:47:19 - 01:27:49:05
Monica
Yeah you're going to do a great you're going.

01:27:49:05 - 01:27:50:01
Monica
To be rock rockstar.

01:27:50:03 - 01:27:51:01
Stephanie
I think you.

01:27:51:03 - 01:27:58:05
Monica
Can do it. It's a great organization. You just need to find your way in that passion and you'll just do it.

01:27:58:07 - 01:28:35:01
Stephanie
Yeah I mean that's there. It's totally that. That's why I wear this bracelet every day to. Oh, yeah. Help remind me, you know what I'm doing. In a way, I'm doing a, Because I have a connection. You know, I got this in Tanzania when I went on my humanitarian. Oh, yeah, they gave it to us. Yeah. So it's it's a gentle reminder every day of why and what I'm doing to, you know, but I think that's also one of the big reasons why I'm having such a difficult time seeing myself, you know, as this rock star, like you say in it, because it's such a huge responsibility.

01:28:35:01 - 01:28:43:19
Monica
But it takes time. Huge, right? And when I say, see yourself as a rock star, I don't mean walking around like.

01:28:43:21 - 01:29:00:13
Monica
I am so amazing and sexy. Sexy. You're not going to look in the mirror and be like, I am so hot and mean it. Okay, you still have to have humility, so you just have to just, I don't know.

01:29:00:15 - 01:29:09:04
Monica
Grow into the space. and I think that's a good phrase. you know, step into the space. You grow into this space.

01:29:09:06 - 01:29:10:09
Stephanie
Call it growing pains.

01:29:10:09 - 01:29:19:18
Monica
Yeah, but grow into this space of challenges, heartaches, sadness, laughter. Yes. Happiness. You know? Yes. All the human emotions.

01:29:19:20 - 01:29:34:01
Stephanie
I feel like all along, though. Like being on the board. Not even a year yet, you know, it's been like, oh, I can contribute. I can, you know, like, I have my wife, you know, but then it's maybe I'm taking on too much responsibility.

01:29:34:06 - 01:29:35:08
Monica
Yeah.

01:29:35:10 - 01:29:52:05
Stephanie
You know, of it all, which I probably am, because even when I told them and I accepted, you know, they were like, Stephanie, you don't have to do it all. I'm like, I know, but but I can't not, but I'm the leader. So like at the end of the day, you know, like it's my responsibility.

01:29:52:07 - 01:29:55:00
Monica
And it's hard to say no to good things.

01:29:55:02 - 01:30:04:16
Stephanie
No, I actually almost did say no. I even made the phone call and was going to say no. And then God told me that I was supposed to do it, and I was like, sure he's okay.

01:30:04:16 - 01:30:07:01
Monica
No, no, no, I got bigger.

01:30:07:01 - 01:30:17:10
Monica
Plans for you. I need you to grow into this space. Yep. Exactly. He's got a funny way of working it out.

01:30:17:12 - 01:30:20:11
Monica
let's see what can we do?

01:30:20:13 - 01:30:23:06
Stephanie
I'm just I'm crying because I'm thinking of all the people.

01:30:23:09 - 01:30:24:00
Monica
Yeah.

01:30:24:02 - 01:30:27:11
Stephanie
You know that this will impact and bless.

01:30:27:13 - 01:30:28:01
Monica
Right. Yes.

01:30:28:03 - 01:30:30:00
Stephanie
I just yes for generational.

01:30:30:00 - 01:30:34:10
Monica
Impact but the blessings. Yeah. Yes. Also many amazing things.

01:30:34:10 - 01:30:35:16
Stephanie
Change their lives.

01:30:35:18 - 01:30:36:04
Monica
Yeah.

01:30:36:05 - 01:30:41:01
Stephanie
You know and these are people that I mean they don't have water. I know they don't have.

01:30:41:01 - 01:30:42:00
Monica
Food.

01:30:42:02 - 01:30:44:20
Stephanie
And like they don't have the bare necessities of life.

01:30:44:20 - 01:30:49:22
Monica
Yeah. So and here we are worrying about all of this stuff.

01:30:49:23 - 01:30:53:09
Stephanie
That I wore one earring and took it off because I.

01:30:53:11 - 01:30:55:23
Monica
Forgot the other earring. Such a first world problems.

01:30:55:23 - 01:31:02:13
Seth
Stephanie Klein. Although Stephanie loves earrings, she loves putting her.

01:31:02:14 - 01:31:03:23
Monica
She does like to.

01:31:04:01 - 01:31:14:05
Seth
And she's really good at it. And and and so we're we're driving here and I just see her. She reaches up and she's like.

01:31:14:07 - 01:31:16:16
Stephanie
I you're seriously going there?

01:31:16:18 - 01:31:21:20
Seth
And I only have one earring.

01:31:21:22 - 01:31:25:05
Monica
but who.

01:31:25:07 - 01:31:30:10
Monica
Likes. Isn't it grand? It is so.

01:31:30:10 - 01:31:33:17
Monica
Beautiful and messy. Grand and messy.

01:31:33:19 - 01:31:33:21
Monica
Is.

01:31:34:00 - 01:31:44:23
Stephanie
Yes. So how can women balance physical health, mental health and self-care in their daily lives?

01:31:45:01 - 01:31:49:16
Monica
Each I mean, just that question in a nutshell.

01:31:49:18 - 01:31:50:13
Monica
I think it would be.

01:31:50:13 - 01:32:15:07
Monica
Overwhelming for women. It's just seems like a lot. but I think if you just work through, you know, all the things that we've talked about, it will help place all those in line. Right. You got to work with the mind first and foremost. And then you can do the body, the spirit, the soul.

01:32:15:07 - 01:32:15:22
Monica
All the.

01:32:16:00 - 01:32:50:15
Monica
Right, all this other stuff. Love yourself I think in life's complexities. I think that if you just have a good foundation of, who am I and who's am I? That's something that will help you get through everything. You know, how important you are, whether that's going on in the earthly things that are happening or not. That's a strong foundation, right?

01:32:50:17 - 01:33:28:12
Monica
Okay. I don't have maybe great parents, great family, great work environment, great neighbors, great friends, whatever. Right. You're always going to have these little things. But I know for a fact that I am a son or daughter of Heavenly Parents. That's a fact. I can always turn to that relationship. I can always turn to Christ. I can turn things over to Christ to carry for me when it's maybe too much.

01:33:28:14 - 01:33:49:06
Monica
and from my experience, he always takes it. so several years ago, our mountain was on fire. And of course, my husband's out of town harvesting a bulk.

01:33:49:07 - 01:33:52:18
Seth
like heaven doesn't know.

01:33:52:20 - 01:34:00:22
Monica
And he calls. He's like. I mean, that's a once in a lifetime draw, right? It's a big deal. He calls and says, now, do I need to come home?

01:34:00:22 - 01:34:04:10
Monica
I hear the mountains on fire. But I'm like, well, what are you going to do.

01:34:04:12 - 01:34:28:05
Monica
When you come here? It's happening no matter what. and we've got it all packed up, so that's not going to help. So I'm there on the mountain by myself with my children. And when they first got the call to say we're evacuating, it's the first response is kind of like a race.

01:34:28:07 - 01:34:32:15
Monica
Oh, my gosh, this is really happening. This is going on.

01:34:32:17 - 01:34:50:14
Monica
and I'm starting to gather stuff because I already have a list typed up in my office. When you live in the forest, you need to be prepared. And it was just like a piece of paper that said, get this from this room, get this from this room. So I could just give everyone a piece of paper, take or gather those things.

01:34:50:16 - 01:35:18:06
Monica
In the initial panic, it was just like, Monica, you just need to say a prayer and it will be all okay, right? Just like that panic will go away and I did. I just like calmly, father, I need you to take this for me and make us just okay with this so that we can function and pack up and get out of here and totally immediately calm.

01:35:18:08 - 01:35:32:18
Monica
Everyone's doing their thing or pack it up. My, one of my sons and his buddy are running around helping neighbors pack up their stuff because we've got our stuff under control. You know, we're waiting. They're listening to music like.

01:35:32:18 - 01:35:43:17
Monica
Burn baby, burn. Burn, baby. Burn. Right. Whatever it was, just, you know, trying to live in this weird.

01:35:43:17 - 01:36:06:06
Monica
Crazy moment of unknown. But we had peace through it all, and we packed up with all of our neighbors, drove off the mountain, drove away from my house, and I was okay with that. I'm like, I don't think I'll ever see my house again. It's a thing you can replace that. I had my children. I had their memorabilia.

01:36:06:09 - 01:36:27:23
Monica
I had some of, you know, the mementos, some things I had to leave behind. I had some beautiful China from my grandmother, some silver from my grandmother. and I just had to leave them, and that was fine. I just think, like, took mental pictures and tied the memories in. I'm like, I'm just gonna have to store.

01:36:27:23 - 01:36:30:19
Monica
This because this is all I'm going to have.

01:36:30:21 - 01:36:35:22
Monica
And, we drove away and that's totally fine.

01:36:36:00 - 01:36:37:08
Seth
But the house didn't burn.

01:36:37:10 - 01:36:38:18
Monica
The house didn't burn.

01:36:38:20 - 01:37:00:05
Monica
But if you understand the stories of that whole experience, God's hand was in all of it. The winds were raging on that mountain. the flames were coming up behind the mountain and coming to crest the mountain, and the winds were blowing with it short. So it's pushing it over the mountain. The wind is so strong. It's pushing over the firefighters.

01:37:00:05 - 01:37:49:11
Monica
Right. They can't stand into the wind very well. And. That fire didn't move. You know, it should be crushing down that mountain and that the fire chief actually told our mayor. Just so you know, in the morning, your city will be gone. I mentioned being poor mayor pray in that moment. and then when it didn't happen, they're like, we don't know who you worship, but that's a powerful being, powerful God, because that should not be happening in any way, shape or form.

01:37:49:12 - 01:38:17:22
Monica
And then a few years later, maybe actually just a few months later, the spring time, my son was on a walk, and he came to this point where it was a straight line. I mean, no jagged edges, straight line, burnt, charred, beautiful green spring growth. And he took a picture of it as beautiful to just say, like it stopped here.

01:38:18:02 - 01:38:41:22
Monica
It didn't move from here. There was no chance of moving. I mean, it was like a wall was built there of protection. So, you know, when you understand the beauty of God, the love of God, the all the glory that comes with him and how he loves us so individually, I think that's a perfect way to see it.

01:38:41:22 - 01:38:46:11
Monica
Like he's going to build that wall for you and help you through whatever.

01:38:46:13 - 01:39:11:03
Seth
We are super grateful that you're here. Yes. And wow, I mean, we laid down. It just never ceases to amaze me. You know, we come into, the studio, but then we really just have a conversation, right? Connect, connect. We connect, you know, and. Yeah, you know, I know, I know for a fact that that these stories are connecting with women around the world because they tell us.

01:39:11:09 - 01:39:32:23
Seth
Yeah, you know, they tell us that. Wow, I need I needed that conversation today because I was in morning. Right? Or, Hey. You too. This this show needs to be in thousands of ears right in front of thousands of women were like, yeah, we're to agree. I would agree. We're trying. It's a process.

01:39:33:02 - 01:39:35:00
Monica
Oh, it's a process, you know.

01:39:35:02 - 01:39:52:11
Seth
Yeah. But, thank you. Thank you for pouring your heart and soul and experience. And we're doing. And we'll do you a favor, too. We're doing the preview for your book. I go, I laugh a lot, I laugh a lot. A guide to overcoming imposter syndrome.

01:39:52:17 - 01:39:53:06
Monica
Oh, I.

01:39:53:06 - 01:39:54:08
Seth
Mean, come on, bro. Here you.

01:39:54:08 - 01:39:55:05
Monica
Go.

01:39:55:07 - 01:39:55:19
Seth
How about that?

01:39:55:20 - 01:39:58:05
Stephanie
I'll read it.

01:39:58:07 - 01:40:00:09
Monica
Can I be a novelette?

01:40:00:11 - 01:40:01:14
Seth
Yeah, you get to decide.

01:40:01:19 - 01:40:04:11
Monica
I got a press that just last night and this morning.

01:40:04:11 - 01:40:08:11
Stephanie
So just like chairwoman. Yeah, like I'm no chairman.

01:40:08:12 - 01:40:14:11
Monica
Don't call me a man. I am done, man. I'm a woman.

01:40:14:13 - 01:40:16:00
Stephanie
And hear me roar.

01:40:16:02 - 01:40:19:20
Monica
Yes, that's a good sign. You're going to hear me roar.

01:40:19:22 - 01:40:24:13
Monica
Why not? I am, and cut.

01:40:24:15 - 01:40:26:09
Seth
It's a wrap.

01:40:26:11 - 01:40:41:12
Stephanie
Thank you so much for being here today. And thank you for sharing this episode with that one friend who needs this conversation. Thank you for all the ratings, the reviews, the comments, and especially the support. We so appreciate you.

01:40:41:14 - 01:40:55:15
Seth
Now, if you want to take a peek behind the curtain and be the first to know about special previews, backstage updates here at the show, and especially some private collection content that doesn't come out in the regular show.

01:40:55:17 - 01:41:00:14
Stephanie
Be sure to join our VIP community at the Forever Young Show on.