00:00:05:01 - 00:00:06:19 Stephanie Hi, I'm Stephanie.

00:00:06:21 - 00:00:19:09 Seth I'm Seth, and this is the Forever Young show. The most powerful force in this world is a woman who knows who she is, why she is here, and what she wants to accomplish.

00:00:19:11 - 00:00:26:13 Stephanie And that's where self-care comes in. As a woman, it is my opportunity and my responsibility to take care of me.

00:00:26:15 - 00:00:28:12 Seth Self-care for your mind.

00:00:28:14 - 00:00:30:03 Stephanie Self-care for your body.

00:00:30:05 - 00:00:31:23 Seth Self-care for your money.

00:00:32:01 - 00:00:42:20 Stephanie Our mission is to serve women as they fulfill their irreplaceable roles and families. Society. Business. The fabric of humanity.

00:00:42:22 - 00:01:04:12 Seth So on the show today, we are in the studio live Las Vegas, Nevada. Yes, the show is going on in Las Vegas, Nevada, where a wealthy creator with our good friend Kate Seville. She is an amazing mother, single mother of two. She is a professional. She's been in the real estate industry, she knows business and she's got a new show on the market called.

00:01:04:14 - 00:01:05:09 Stephanie Create with.

00:01:05:09 - 00:01:09:00 Kate Kate. There.

00:01:09:01 - 00:01:11:20 Seth You like it when you guys do it? But you don't like when we.

00:01:11:20 - 00:01:12:14 Stephanie Do it right.

00:01:12:14 - 00:01:17:15 Seth Now? Good to. Let them sound good.

00:01:17:17 - 00:01:18:23 Kate Oh my God.

00:01:19:01 - 00:01:21:07 Stephanie It wasn't cheesy. I think it was because we were kind.

00:01:21:07 - 00:01:23:18

Of like we were having fun and like, well.

00:01:23:18 - 00:01:28:13 Stephanie You know, same tone. Like, oh yeah. Oh my God. Like, it's like opposites attract.

00:01:28:16 - 00:01:29:03 Kate Just like.

00:01:29:03 - 00:01:33:14

Yeah, you just gotta get a higher price.

00:01:33:16 - 00:01:40:00 Seth I seriously want all of the listeners, you know, and the intro and we're like, hi, I'm Seth and I'm Stephanie, and this is.

00:01:40:05 - 00:01:58:17

The forever Young show. Like, oh, that sounds pretty good, actually, when we all just done it. All right. Maybe we just want to do it with us. You should just have your guests do it with you. I do fun. Oh, any time you have a guest. How funny would that be? The forever young show. Like you just have all these.

00:01:58:17 - 00:01:59:06 Seth Okay, let's try it.

00:01:59:11 - 00:02:00:06 Kate Okay.

00:02:00:08 - 00:02:05:11 Seth So? So. Okay, so this how we're going to do it. So hi, I'm Seth.

00:02:05:13 - 00:02:06:12 Stephanie And I'm Stephanie.

00:02:06:15 - 00:02:07:11 Kate And I'm Kate.

00:02:07:16 - 00:02:08:12 Seth And this is.

00:02:08:17 - 00:02:09:06 Kate Their.

00:02:09:10 - 00:02:12:10 Stephanie Young show. That was good.

00:02:12:12 - 00:02:18:05

That was good. Really good. Wow. How did that you just, like, bamboozled us into.

00:02:18:05 - 00:02:21:16 Kate Like, liking it. That was. You're a saint and. All right.

00:02:21:16 - 00:02:27:13 Stephanie Okay, so, Kate, what are you most passionate about right now? And what are you doing about it?

00:02:27:15 - 00:02:52:19 Kate Okay, what I'm most passionate about right now is this podcast and your podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just podcast in general or I social media and building, you know, a brand which is essentially just being yourself, right? Yes. How to embrace who you are. but that is what I'm most passionate about because so many people I know aren't embracing that.

00:02:52:19 - 00:03:20:10 Kate And and they some people don't even honestly know who they are or what makes them special anymore. So I love to help people identify that and find that again. And, and then I, I just love what social media can do for, for you and other people. I mean, it's just the connection and the people you can reach. I think it can be a really beautiful thing.

00:03:20:13 - 00:03:39:03 Kate And I've experienced so many great encounters, like from people that found me online, and then we're on zoom. And like, I know that we were meant to find each other because they needed a message for me and I needed a message from them. And, you know, I just think it's like really beautiful. And so that's what I'm most passionate about.

00:03:39:03 - 00:03:57:08 Kate And what I doing about it is investing in my own podcast. Like by buying all of this equipment that, that we're sitting here in. And it was, you know, it was a decent investment like, yes. So this better take off. Let's see. We better get Oprah in here. Yeah.

00:03:57:10 - 00:04:04:19 Seth So tell us about create with Kate. I mean, why when I saw the network guy, you just I knew. Oh that's.

00:04:04:19 - 00:04:23:07 Kate It. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. When you know. So the way it came to to be is Brian De Villa said, hey, you know, are you serious about building this brand? Like, you start your podcast like, let's go. And I'm like, okay, yeah, I am, I'm, I'm going to I'm going to start it, you know, kind of like I'm just I'm thinking about it kind of vibes.

00:04:23:07 - 00:04:44:12 Kate Right? He's like, no, just do it. Come up with a name the next day or and and then like let's go. No person. Yeah that's how it was. It was just like, let's go. Like you make your own podcast cover art. Like I want to see it tomorrow. I'm like, okay, so I told the girls I work with, I'm like, we got to come up with a name like now and we can think of anything.

00:04:44:16 - 00:05:06:09 Kate You know, we're throwing stuff out there, but it wasn't sticking. And then and then I thought of this. I'm like, okay, that'll be good. I still didn't I wasn't like obsessed, you know? But I came up with the name, made the cover art on Canva real simple, as I was doing it quickly and, and then I, you know, gave it to I'm like, this is what we're going with.

00:05:06:09 - 00:05:33:08 Kate And he's like, okay, cool. Now let's get your stuff like. And he just kept pushing me right. And, I mean, it was effective because here we are and I've. Yeah, I've had a lot of guests already and I haven't even officially launched. But the concept of the podcast and what create with Kate is all about is really just creating the life that you want, essentially is like the main, overarching topic content?

00:05:33:08 - 00:05:42:11 Kate Yes. Personal branding, yes. But it's more I mean, you get to create what you want in this life, especially if you have a relationship with your creator. Yeah.

00:05:42:11 - 00:05:49:08 Stephanie So so speaking of that, as a single mom, how do you do self-care? What does that look like?

00:05:49:10 - 00:06:10:03 Kate It's not great. and I mean, honestly, I go to this great spray tanning, place that my friend owns. And, I mean, I go there because, yeah, I like to be tan, but also it's an experience. So you get, like, a little massage, a little facial. but you're in and out in, like, 30 minutes, 45 minutes.

00:06:10:03 - 00:06:39:02 Kate So that's fun for me. I've been enjoying that. And and then I get my nails done. But as far as, like internally, that type of self-care, I mean, I invest in a lot of coaches and mentors and, and I do listen to a lot of books and go for walks and listen to things that, speak to me and, like, fuel my, I guess, soul.

00:06:39:04 - 00:06:54:23 Kate You know, that's what I do. But I think I could be better by being more intentional about, well, my leadership coach actually yesterday. Love him. Seems, Keith, and what we've been working on is me being still. I struggle with that. Do you struggle with that?

00:06:55:00 - 00:06:57:02 Seth You know, I was just going to say let's try it, everybody.

00:06:57:02 - 00:06:59:09 Kate Yeah.

00:06:59:11 - 00:07:03:16 Seth actually actually I think I'm a I'm, I'm.

00:07:03:18 - 00:07:05:18 Stephanie He's a as soon as he wakes up, he's.

00:07:05:20 - 00:07:08:09 Kate Running I know that's why I'm like, do you, can you relate.

00:07:08:11 - 00:07:21:16 Seth Like I can, I can relate. And I've had a couple of messages. We had, McKenna wooly on one of our previous episodes, and she's an intuitive artist. Oh, and she does sound baths. Next time you're in, you talk.

00:07:21:16 - 00:07:22:15 Kate About a mask.

00:07:22:19 - 00:07:28:04 Seth Yeah, we had a house full of. We had 16, 17 people in our house doing a sound bath.

00:07:28:07 - 00:07:29:06 Kate Okay.

00:07:29:08 - 00:07:30:05 Seth It was awesome.

00:07:30:05 - 00:07:31:09 Kate Yeah.

00:07:31:11 - 00:07:50:18 Seth and and, you know, some of the discussion we had with her and just stuff I gleaned from her, and basically she just calling me out and saying, it sounds like what your body's communicating you is slow it down. Yeah, right. And and I'm like, yeah, I don't know if it's saying that, but I have I'm on day.

00:07:50:19 - 00:07:55:02 Seth What's today Saturday day 76 of yoga.

00:07:55:03 - 00:07:56:20 Kate Right. Hundred days of yoga.

00:07:56:22 - 00:08:05:15 Seth Yeah. Today will be day 76 okay. I have not missed yoga. Yeah. In the last 75 days.

00:08:05:15 - 00:08:06:10 Kate Wow.

00:08:06:12 - 00:08:21:19 Seth That interestingly enough, you talked about being still right for me. It's like I, I talked to God and I get still time every day. But yoga for me has helped me to be still, because yoga is not a.

00:08:21:21 - 00:08:22:21 Kate Let's get it done.

00:08:22:21 - 00:08:23:04 Seth Right.

00:08:23:08 - 00:08:26:14 Kate Now. Breathe right. Breathe.

00:08:26:16 - 00:08:30:16 Seth And I'll tell you like I've been. She's so happy because she's. Yeah she is.

00:08:30:17 - 00:08:32:08 Stephanie I've been a yoga freak for years.

00:08:32:08 - 00:08:36:03 Seth Yeah. And like. And it's so fun to get in my tights.

00:08:36:05 - 00:08:41:13 Kate Yeah. Just have you been and. Yeah, you've like you, you've been enjoying those. I haven't seen her.

00:08:41:15 - 00:08:49:11 Seth But yeah, I think being still is absolutely critical for me. And I don't do it most of the day thank goodness.

00:08:49:13 - 00:08:50:02 Kate Yeah.

00:08:50:04 - 00:09:01:01 Seth Once a day. Right. And I'm I'm thinking about continuing my I don't want to say the streak because it's not about the streak and how long, but like this is a part of my life now.

00:09:01:02 - 00:09:03:15 Kate Yeah. And yeah.

00:09:03:18 - 00:09:10:12 Seth Yeah I it's it's broadened my, my depth honestly.

00:09:10:14 - 00:09:30:10 Kate I'm going to maybe start some yoga then. Have you never read the sign. No I have I used to work for a yoga studio that did heated yoga classes. I mean, they did all kinds of classes, but then I would just, I, I was working so much that I wouldn't get in to the classroom. Yeah, yeah, I think my.

00:09:30:12 - 00:09:33:10 Seth Yeah you URL you were moving busy.

00:09:33:10 - 00:09:35:08 Kate Doing. Busy doing. Yeah.

00:09:35:08 - 00:09:40:02 Seth How ironic that you work at a yoga studio and be so busy.

00:09:40:02 - 00:09:40:17 Kate Yeah.

00:09:40:19 - 00:09:59:18 Seth And not get the benefit. I know of yoga, which is really actually metaphorical for our entire lives. Here's what I'm excited. I'm excited about. Create with Kate because you deepened the meaning for me today. I looked at it solely from a context. oh, create. Create content.

00:09:59:18 - 00:10:00:03 Kate Sure.

00:10:00:04 - 00:10:00:18 Seth What you do, I mean.

00:10:00:18 - 00:10:03:04 Kate You that is. You've helped us. Yeah, right.

00:10:03:04 - 00:10:12:04 Seth Like late for those of us, for those of you who don't know everybody who's listening, that Kate helped us come up with the name for the Forever Young.

00:10:12:05 - 00:10:12:12 Kate Yeah.

00:10:12:12 - 00:10:17:20 Seth Yes. Right. she came back and we're like. We like that.

00:10:17:22 - 00:10:18:04 Kate Yeah.

00:10:18:05 - 00:10:20:03 Seth Run with that. So.

00:10:20:05 - 00:10:38:18 Kate No, we've had a lot of fun. But I feel like even with working with you guys, I mean, we. Yeah, it's like we're talking about this podcast concept and what that's going to be and and your brand and, and who you, you know, who you're speaking to and how we can reach them, you know, more effectively through content.

00:10:38:18 - 00:11:11:22 Kate But it's like so much deeper than that, you know, because it's yeah, it's like the woman that struggling or the man like in this moment in life where their transition from what they thought it was going to be to this new way, or just believing in more possibilities and that they can be abundant and have, like you said, like the happiest life and the best marriage and all this, you know, money, right?

00:11:11:22 - 00:11:16:03 Kate Like, I mean, honestly, we feel bad like saying that, but like, it's good, it's good.

00:11:16:05 - 00:11:16:23 Seth No, let's do it.

00:11:16:23 - 00:11:28:16 Kate You know, so but I mean people that's like their perception is like, but but if the more money you have like the more people you can help. And so yeah. No, I think it's, it's really beautiful.

00:11:28:17 - 00:11:34:07 Seth How about this like put this badge on your sleeve. Like having being poor.

00:11:34:09 - 00:11:35:06 Kate Right. Yeah.

00:11:35:08 - 00:11:41:23 Seth Or having not having an abundance of money. Can you tell me how that's helping you.

00:11:42:01 - 00:11:43:05 Kate Right. It's not like.

00:11:43:05 - 00:11:51:05 Seth Oh like what. Good now is it doing you. It's not, it's not, it's absolutely isn't.

00:11:51:07 - 00:11:57:00 Kate So it's okay to want to create abundance in your life.

00:11:57:02 - 00:11:59:08 Seth No it's not okay.

00:11:59:10 - 00:12:00:04 Kate Right. It's not.

00:12:00:09 - 00:12:03:18 Seth It's not okay. It's desirable.

00:12:03:20 - 00:12:10:22 Kate Oh the okay. Is not that okay I see I see where you're going with this. And. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah.

00:12:10:23 - 00:12:12:04 Seth To create.

00:12:12:06 - 00:12:12:16 Kate

00:12:12:20 - 00:12:18:03 Seth With Kate. Right. To create is a fundamental human need.

00:12:18:03 - 00:12:19:13 Kate And I agree.

00:12:19:15 - 00:12:34:09 Seth Like God is the creator and guest and he is the great I am. And we are all little I am I we're all children. Your daughters you know you are daughters of the Heavenly King. He's the creator. Guess what you should be creating.

00:12:34:11 - 00:12:34:17 Kate Yeah.

00:12:34:17 - 00:12:38:02 Seth And and finances are a resource.

00:12:38:04 - 00:12:38:13 Kate

00:12:38:14 - 00:12:47:07 Seth And it just it just works. Yes. Our finances like I think sometimes people get worried, especially when they don't have it like it's easy to judge something you don't have.

00:12:47:08 - 00:12:47:21 Kate

00:12:47:23 - 00:12:52:04 Seth But once you, once you taste abundance and I won't even say money.

00:12:52:09 - 00:12:52:20 Kate Right.

00:12:52:21 - 00:13:01:01 Seth I'm going to say abundance because I think that's a, that's a money is just a in some ways a man made context.

00:13:01:01 - 00:13:01:20 Kate Sure. Right.

00:13:02:00 - 00:13:13:07 Seth I mean God made gold so right. And gold should be money anyway. Anyway I think abundance if you would buy into the feeling and the concept and the principle of abundance.

00:13:13:07 - 00:13:14:12 Kate Yeah.

00:13:14:14 - 00:13:25:20 Seth Abundant life abundance in your relationships, abundance of gratitude. first to what you have in your own life. Right? Like if you buy into abundance instead of scarcity.

00:13:25:20 - 00:13:27:08 Kate Yes.

00:13:27:10 - 00:13:34:11 Seth I think that's the real that's the real issue. Because if you buy into that, then money is money is a servant.

00:13:34:13 - 00:13:34:23 Kate To.

00:13:34:23 - 00:13:39:08 Seth Abundance mentality or abundance process, right?

00:13:39:10 - 00:13:40:16 Kate No, I love that. Yeah.

00:13:40:18 - 00:13:41:23 Seth So it's not okay.

00:13:42:01 - 00:13:42:09 Kate Yeah.

00:13:42:09 - 00:13:46:17 Seth Like is it okay to be abundant. No, it's not okay. It is the way.

00:13:46:21 - 00:13:47:07 Kate Yeah.

00:13:47:08 - 00:13:49:05 Seth It's how we're supposed to be.

00:13:49:05 - 00:13:58:12 Kate Right. So the story of how you guys met because I like the story and I think that people will appreciate it. Do we have, like, short form footage of this or know.

00:13:58:14 - 00:13:58:21 Seth Of how.

00:13:58:21 - 00:14:00:22 Kate We met? Yeah.

00:14:01:00 - 00:14:03:07 Seth I don't have any short form footage of how we met.

00:14:03:07 - 00:14:05:12 Kate No, you just have that YouTube video. They did this.

00:14:05:18 - 00:14:09:18 Seth Well, this is why we create cliffhangers and videos like the video that you got in.

00:14:09:20 - 00:14:15:13 Kate But that was like even leaving these people on the cliffhanger for about seven years or something. We need to get that on.

00:14:15:13 - 00:14:16:18 Stephanie Like over nine.

00:14:16:20 - 00:14:21:00

Over nine years. Yeah. So I mean, I want to talk about that because.

00:14:21:00 - 00:14:29:14 Kate So, Stephanie, you were a single mom. Yeah. So you were like, paint the picture for us. How old were you? And you had how many kids and what were you going through?

00:14:29:16 - 00:14:37:07 Stephanie So I was a single mom, around like 25, 25. Okay. And then I met Seth when I was 30.

00:14:37:08 - 00:14:40:10 Kate Okay. So you were. You were a single mom for five years.

00:14:40:12 - 00:14:41:11 Stephanie When I met him. Yes.

00:14:41:11 - 00:14:42:09 Kate Okay. Yeah.

00:14:42:09 - 00:14:43:22 Stephanie And five years.

00:14:44:00 - 00:14:45:19 Kate But you. Because you got married really young.

00:14:45:19 - 00:14:48:15 Stephanie The first time I did it was two weeks before I turned 19.

00:14:48:15 - 00:14:49:12 Kate Yeah. Wow.

00:14:49:12 - 00:14:52:16 Stephanie So usually when people say, you know, how old were you? I'm, like, too young.

00:14:52:17 - 00:15:10:00 Kate Yeah, because you didn't even know who you were. Oh, right. Yeah, I, I can relate to that. Just thinking you're making the right decision. But you how do you make the right decision when you don't even fully know who you are? Exactly. So. So I want to talk about. Yeah. That day you guys, man. Okay. So tell me you went dancing, right?

00:15:10:04 - 00:15:13:12 Stephanie Yes, we went dancing. I'm not used to being the one telling it first.

00:15:13:12 - 00:15:17:12

Usually it's oh I'm like, oh you you tell that. Yeah. Because you.

00:15:17:12 - 00:15:53:12 Kate Well, actually let me rephrase it because remember when we talked about how it was scary to date again because we didn't want to make like the wrong choice? Yeah. Just for context. Like, if you don't know, I'm divorced twice and, you know, and we Stephanie and I talk about this is like, you have this fear of not wanting to make a bad decision or make the wrong decision, and you know, so you maybe you're overthinking a lot of things instead of just trusting yourself and leaning into God and prayer.

00:15:53:14 - 00:16:04:01 Kate But but you were going through that. You had been on several dates and you were really trying to figure out, like, I feel like you were trying to do your research and really see what you wanted and what you didn't want. Right?

00:16:04:01 - 00:16:07:16 Stephanie For sure. Yes. As as I was figuring out who I am.

00:16:07:16 - 00:16:08:07 Kate Yeah, I.

00:16:08:07 - 00:16:17:22 Stephanie Was also trying to figure out who I wanted to be with. Yeah. And also gleaning on who I was with before so that I kind of knew what I didn't want from.

00:16:18:02 - 00:16:18:09 Kate From.

00:16:18:10 - 00:16:22:09 Stephanie That relationship, but also what I did want, you know, the things I did get. Right.

00:16:22:13 - 00:16:23:16 Kate Yeah.

00:16:23:18 - 00:16:25:20 Stephanie from that relationship also and who I was.

00:16:25:22 - 00:16:50:08 Kate And you feel like you had to heal a lot of things that maybe I felt like that for me. Like I had to do some healing because I think I was attracting certain kinds of people. Yes, because of how I was showing up. Yes. And that took me all like 35 years to figure that out. You know, but I think a lot of people I don't think I'm alone in that.

00:16:50:08 - 00:16:54:21 Kate I think many people struggle. They're in their 50s and they, they are learning that.

00:16:55:02 - 00:17:13:04 Stephanie I agree so well and I, I heard from the therapist that a lot of people, go through several marriages or relationships or end up alone after being through several. Yeah. Is because they don't figure out what part of them attracted that type of person. Yes. And so there's something within both of you that attracted you to each other.

00:17:13:04 - 00:17:18:06 Stephanie And so if you don't fix that, you might find somebody else who's a little different than the one before.

00:17:18:07 - 00:17:21:07 Kate But the same problem will present. Yes. Yeah.

00:17:21:11 - 00:17:26:00 Seth Well, it's it's rooted in the same, the same core belief that you have.

00:17:26:01 - 00:17:27:01 Kate Okay. Yeah.

00:17:27:03 - 00:17:29:20 Seth And so it's critical you got to go work on yourself.

00:17:30:02 - 00:17:31:07 Kate Yeah. That's where it.

00:17:31:08 - 00:17:39:04 Seth Starts to work on yourself. What where are we at right now in the US? marriage, divorce rate. I know we're worried about 50%.

00:17:39:04 - 00:17:40:11 Stephanie Oh, I think it's high class.

00:17:40:13 - 00:17:41:07 Kate Yeah.

00:17:41:09 - 00:17:43:06 Seth Remarriage divorce rate.

00:17:43:08 - 00:17:44:01 Kate

00:17:44:01 - 00:17:44:18 Seth Even higher.

00:17:44:19 - 00:17:45:07 Kate Sure.

00:17:45:08 - 00:17:57:16 Seth Right. And you know if you don't go and change and work on yourself, learn about yourself I mean it's an opportunity. Divorce sucks. I mean it can it can be really hard I should say.

00:17:57:18 - 00:17:59:22 Kate And yeah.

00:18:00:00 - 00:18:01:10 Seth Like it happened.

00:18:01:12 - 00:18:01:15 Kate Like.

00:18:01:16 - 00:18:11:08 Seth Yeah like you're there. So it can also be the most incredible laboratory for a massive transformation in your own life.

00:18:11:10 - 00:18:13:01 Kate I agree with that idea.

00:18:13:01 - 00:18:16:09 Stephanie So a lot of people tend to blame it on their ex.

00:18:16:09 - 00:18:16:16 Kate Right.

00:18:16:16 - 00:18:23:17 Stephanie Instead of taking responsibility for, well, what part of me attracted. Yeah him and what was I attracted to.

00:18:23:19 - 00:18:29:14 Kate What do you think that was for you? And I'll share with you what I felt like. I'm not I don't know.

00:18:29:16 - 00:18:31:17 Stephanie Like I have to think about that first. Yeah.

00:18:31:19 - 00:19:04:02 Kate I'll tell you mine first, then, because I feel like I was very much like a people pleaser. And I used to think that was like a good thing. Like, oh, I can just be, like, accommodating, you know? And I can go with the flow and and, like. And I can with a lot of situations. But where that becomes a problem is if you're doing that too much because then you're kind of pushing aside your values and you're not even realizing it.

00:19:04:03 - 00:19:32:10 Kate And then and then you're confused when you're out of alignment, you know? But if I if I'm really taking responsibility and I really look back like, okay, how did I show up, who will I? I didn't make it extremely clear what my, you know, non-negotiables were or my values or I started to. But then when they weren't well-received, I think I had a fear of being alone.

00:19:32:10 - 00:19:34:05 Kate So I'm like, okay. Yeah.

00:19:34:06 - 00:19:35:05 Seth So you cave in?

00:19:35:05 - 00:20:04:19 Kate Yes, yes, yes. And I think that I didn't even realize that until, I mean, I really had to, like, do a lot of work. And then after that first marriage that only lasted for five months, you know, after that one ended, I was still really young, too. I was 23 and I, I wasn't alone. I mean, I was like, I, I got out of that and then out of nowhere, you know, meet my second husband.

00:20:04:21 - 00:20:20:01 Kate And I never was able to even do the work. It was you just jump from one to the next. And so I think we were both attracted to each other because we were both not healed. and so then it was almost like a trauma bond.

00:20:20:02 - 00:20:20:19 Stephanie Yes.

00:20:20:19 - 00:20:23:10 Kate You know. Yes. So it was really interesting.

00:20:23:10 - 00:20:43:21 Stephanie Trauma bond is so real. Yeah. I definitely went through that. I think that might have been part of my issue. was the trauma bonds. And then I think not having healthy boundaries was right for me. Yeah. So I was that passive. No not passive. Oh my goodness. What is the word anyways. where they just walked all over me.

00:20:44:01 - 00:20:47:19 Kate Yeah. Yeah that is right. Yeah I was I think so, yeah.

00:20:47:22 - 00:20:49:00 Seth Overly accommodating.

00:20:49:00 - 00:20:50:17 Kate Yeah. Same as me.

00:20:50:19 - 00:21:05:18 Stephanie Yeah, totally. And and outwardly I would be okay with it. But really on the inside, frustrated with how I was getting treated, not realizing that it was my own choices and allowing people to treat me that way. Yeah. And then just not knowing who I was.

00:21:05:18 - 00:21:06:02 Kate Yeah.

00:21:06:02 - 00:21:08:13 Stephanie You know, just being super young and immature.

00:21:08:15 - 00:21:28:15 Kate Yeah. I feel that's how I feel too, is like, I just I really didn't I didn't know who I was. I didn't know boundaries. Like, I just, I didn't know how to say no because I was people pleaser. So it would like hurt my heart if I disappointed someone, you know, because then I would take that on, like, you know.

00:21:28:15 - 00:21:29:23 Seth Like a codependency.

00:21:29:23 - 00:21:53:13 Kate Yeah, I guess. Yeah. That is what it is, right? Yeah. Yes. And if you really like look at it if I, because I did a lot of reflection, I'm like okay. Growing up I was the second child and my brother was kind of difficult. Like he didn't handle the divorce well. Between our parents. And so everything was always like kind of about my brother.

00:21:53:13 - 00:22:00:00 Kate And so I would just observe, you know, and I didn't want to cause any additional problems because everyone was dealing with those.

00:22:00:00 - 00:22:01:02 Seth Problems enough as it is.

00:22:01:02 - 00:22:24:00 Kate Already heard. Enough is it is. Yeah, yeah. So I'm just like, okay, I'm just gonna, you know, like lay off and just not disrupt anything. And then my sister was born and then she was very like, hardheaded, I guess you could say. And so anyway, I was just, I was surrounded by, like, these very strong. Yes. And so I would just, you know, whatever.

00:22:24:00 - 00:22:27:20 Kate Like, I don't want to do, I don't want to deal with it. So. Yeah.

00:22:28:02 - 00:22:29:13 Stephanie Yes. So I just learned.

00:22:29:13 - 00:22:31:01 Kate That I was, you know, the.

00:22:31:01 - 00:22:39:04 Stephanie Peacemaker. Yes. Okay guys. Yeah. Okay. You know that that's where the like the the walking on me. Yes. Oh it's okay. I'll take care of it.

00:22:39:05 - 00:23:04:10 Kate Right. Yeah. Yeah. Because it to me and I don't know if you felt like this, but it was so much easier and like less energy to do that. But then we didn't realize what we were doing to ourselves. Yes. You know, so but that just took me so long to figure it out because I thought, oh, well, I'm just I'm the good girl, you know, and but you can be a good girl and have an opinion.

00:23:04:10 - 00:23:24:06 Kate Absolutely. And that was what took me so long to figure out. You can be you can be a great person and have boundaries. You can say no. And it doesn't mean that your relationship is over with a person. Like, if, hey, I can't go out tonight because I have this or that, or I don't want to participate in whatever this is or just all those things, it took me so long to figure that out.

00:23:24:09 - 00:23:26:03 Stephanie Yeah, I was so.

00:23:26:05 - 00:23:50:00 Kate But now I'm getting very clear on exactly. I'm like, we're not screwing this up again, you know, which is what you did. And that's how you found that. Yeah. And now you're in this, like, beautiful marriage. Yeah. So, you know, what were those things that you had identified after five years of what you did want in a partner before you met him?

00:23:50:02 - 00:23:55:07 Stephanie there were so many thing, but the top one for me was that his heart had to be focused on God.

00:23:55:09 - 00:23:55:18 Kate Yeah.

00:23:55:23 - 00:24:04:15 Stephanie And in fact, there's a quote, and I hope I get it right, but, it says something about her heart. No. I'm sorry.

00:24:04:17 - 00:24:08:08 Kate It's okay if you get it wrong. I get my quotes wrong on every podcast.

00:24:08:10 - 00:24:14:22 Seth Honestly, when you get the quote, it's not wrong. Yeah, you're just you're just making it your. So you can tweet it.

00:24:14:23 - 00:24:17:19 Kate There you go. Name on the back. Yeah. There you go. All right. Yeah.

00:24:17:21 - 00:24:20:00 Stephanie But no I definitely could get this one.

00:24:20:02 - 00:24:21:08 Kate Who was it that said it?

00:24:21:08 - 00:24:23:21 Stephanie I don't even remember. I have thousands of.

00:24:23:21 - 00:24:24:13 Kate Screenshots of.

00:24:24:13 - 00:24:25:00 Stephanie Quotes in.

00:24:25:00 - 00:24:25:20

My phone. I do too.

00:24:26:00 - 00:24:27:18 Seth So I know that's an underestimate, by the.

00:24:27:18 - 00:24:28:17

Way. Yeah, I.

00:24:28:19 - 00:24:38:10 Seth Do. You know how much you can fit in. 256 okay, like there are a lot of quotes and I know this because I've seen it. I've seen the crime scene.

00:24:38:15 - 00:24:40:18

So what's the main message of the quote.

00:24:41:00 - 00:24:47:18 Stephanie Essentially that, you know, her heart is so towards God that she has to find God to find her.

00:24:47:20 - 00:24:52:00 Kate Oh, I love that. Yeah. That's good. That's so good. Yes.

00:24:52:00 - 00:24:53:11 Stephanie Yeah, it's really good.

00:24:53:13 - 00:25:13:04 Kate I think that is a really I think you're right. I think that's number one. And I think that I have learned in the last year especially. I mean, I've always been a believer, but the last year I was like very intentional about, okay, I'm going to have a relationship with you, like, and I'm going to be intentional about this.

00:25:13:06 - 00:25:18:20 Kate And, and it transformed my life. I mean, I really I know that's why that.

00:25:18:20 - 00:25:36:21 Stephanie Was one beautiful gift that came from my divorce for me was I've always had a foundation of God. I grew up with having God and Jesus in my life, but I think that going through that divorce and being alone for so long, you know, I'm sure you understand this. But when you're you can be surrounded in a room full of people that you love.

00:25:36:21 - 00:25:38:02 Stephanie Yeah. And still feel alone.

00:25:38:06 - 00:25:39:09 Kate Oh, absolutely.

00:25:39:09 - 00:25:50:14 Stephanie And so it really turned my heart and soul, like every fiber of my being, to find God and and develop that relationship the most that I could with him and Jesus Christ.

00:25:50:18 - 00:25:51:02 Kate Yeah.

00:25:51:02 - 00:25:56:04 Stephanie And I think that's what really started my true healing path. I mean, I'm still on it.

00:25:56:06 - 00:25:57:13 Kate Yeah. I don't think it ever ends.

00:25:57:13 - 00:26:03:03 Stephanie Right. I don't think it does either. But I think that was the biggest thing that that prepared me to find stuff.

00:26:03:05 - 00:26:07:20 Kate Yeah. And then he just, like, brought him to you. Yes. That's what I, I believe that like and I want.

00:26:07:21 - 00:26:26:03 Seth Actually I have to say she brought he, he brought her to me because I was already in Utah like I was in the land of milk and honey. Right. And she had to get out of health. Don't take that wrong. What we're talking about is temperature here. She was in Arizona. All right. That's what she. Sure.

00:26:26:05 - 00:26:27:13 Kate Oh, my God.

00:26:27:15 - 00:26:43:10 Stephanie That reminds me of a story. One time, Seth was, across the world, I think, in Thailand. Yeah. And I looked at the weather and it was freezing and snowing in Arizona. Yeah. And it was one of the coldest temperatures in the west. I was like, well.

00:26:43:10 - 00:26:49:09

Which is froze over. So we you were in Arizona and he was in Utah.

00:26:49:11 - 00:26:51:09 Stephanie Before we met? Yes. Oh.

00:26:51:11 - 00:26:53:14 Kate But where was the dance place? So that's.

00:26:53:14 - 00:26:55:07 Seth In Utah. So God tells her.

00:26:55:09 - 00:26:55:22 Kate Okay, you.

00:26:56:01 - 00:27:01:09 Stephanie Told me to, pack up my two kids and move to Utah.

00:27:01:11 - 00:27:03:04 Kate Wait, no one was there?

00:27:03:06 - 00:27:05:19 Stephanie No, there was just this.

00:27:05:21 - 00:27:08:11 Seth Obviously, I was here.

00:27:08:13 - 00:27:10:08 Stephanie But I didn't know that yet.

00:27:10:08 - 00:27:11:00

Yeah.

00:27:11:02 - 00:27:12:20 Seth That's a minor consequence.

00:27:12:20 - 00:27:16:00

No, I'm trying to understand. Like you. Just like what?

00:27:16:01 - 00:27:18:23 Kate Where in Utah did he tell you to go?

00:27:19:00 - 00:27:36:12 Stephanie If he just told me to go to Utah. Yeah, that's like. Okay, okay, well, what does this mean? Yeah. It was like, I want to say a six month journey or more. Okay. Actually. So he he prepared me year before. So like the summer before I was going to explore that. Okay. And he was like, okay, next year you're going to move.

00:27:36:12 - 00:27:51:13 Stephanie And I was like, okay, well, I had gotten so close to God that I knew what the Holy Spirit felt like, and I was like, okay. And I went, told my mom. I remember like yesterday, I went sat on the couch with her and was like, hey, mom, just, you know, the spirit's telling me that I'm going to move next year.

00:27:51:15 - 00:27:53:02 Stephanie And she was like, oh, okay.

00:27:53:04 - 00:27:55:04 Kate Oh, she yeah, that was well received.

00:27:55:04 - 00:28:02:15 Stephanie Okay. But when I told her that God told me to move to Utah, she was like, oh, well, we thought it was going to be like down the street or something.

00:28:02:18 - 00:28:04:07 Kate Oh that's funny.

00:28:04:09 - 00:28:06:04

I was flying feet down the street. Yeah.

00:28:06:07 - 00:28:13:20 Stephanie I was like, yeah, I didn't think it would be out of Arizona either. Yeah. At the time, my ex still lived in Arizona. Okay. So I shared custody with. Yeah with him.

00:28:13:20 - 00:28:15:04 Kate So how does that work?

00:28:15:06 - 00:28:18:05 Stephanie Well, he ended up moving the next summer.

00:28:18:08 - 00:28:19:00 Kate Okay.

00:28:19:00 - 00:28:33:22 Stephanie And so he he had a lot less time. It was mostly just like the summer time. Had a certain amount of weeks moved to state. I'm sorry. Yes. He moved to Oklahoma. Oh. And so he essentially gave up some of his his parenting time.

00:28:34:04 - 00:28:35:05 Kate Because he moved.

00:28:35:05 - 00:28:40:22 Stephanie Just voluntarily. It wasn't even necessarily for anything. And so they're like, okay, well, since I've been.

00:28:40:22 - 00:28:41:14 Kate Interesting.

00:28:41:14 - 00:28:43:04 Stephanie We went to like mediation and.

00:28:43:07 - 00:28:44:04 Kate Yeah.

00:28:44:06 - 00:29:01:18 Stephanie he got less time. He actually didn't even because he could have had every other winter. Right. And then I can't remember what the I think it was spring and fall break plus the weeks on the summer. And he ended up only taking like five weeks in the summer and each summer just for a few years. and then he stops.

00:29:01:20 - 00:29:03:23 Stephanie I'll contact with how did.

00:29:03:23 - 00:29:05:21 Kate That affect the kids.

00:29:05:23 - 00:29:06:11 Stephanie Oh.

00:29:06:13 - 00:29:17:22 Kate I don't I don't know that part of the story. That's that's so sad. Yeah. Like, why do you think he's did that? does he have a new wife?

00:29:17:22 - 00:29:22:01 Stephanie He does. He got married, I believe. It was like a year after our divorce was final.

00:29:22:01 - 00:29:23:03 Kate Did he have more kids?

00:29:23:05 - 00:29:23:18 Stephanie he had one.

00:29:24:00 - 00:29:24:03 Kate

00:29:24:05 - 00:29:40:05 Stephanie Yeah. Interestingly, my grandfather, whom, had in the ministry had counseled many, many, many couples. Yeah. And he actually told me when I went through my divorce he said, you know, and he went through an outline to if this happens, like if he gets remarried, if he has any kids with her, if they move away, like, and I can do other things.

00:29:40:05 - 00:29:48:06 Stephanie But he laid it out. He was like, he'll eventually stop talking to them. Wow. And I was like, no, not now. That's not going to happen. And it totally did.

00:29:48:06 - 00:30:00:15 Kate And there was three kids, right? So you had your two. You you had two, you had four. That's right. You had five. Six. I'm saying keep getting these. I think there's just so many numbers like I can't.

00:30:00:17 - 00:30:03:15

My brain can't compute like it can't.

00:30:03:17 - 00:30:05:11 Kate Retain.

00:30:05:13 - 00:30:06:01

because yeah.

00:30:06:01 - 00:30:09:05 Kate There's like ten kids I had total right. I had six.

00:30:09:06 - 00:30:10:01 Seth That had two.

00:30:10:05 - 00:30:23:04 Kate And then you had an additional two to, that are here in the other room that are fabulous. Hannah and Ruth. Yeah. Ruth, the six year old that's like 45 inside.

00:30:23:04 - 00:30:28:02 Seth She does. She kind of has that, you know, an Incredibles.

00:30:28:04 - 00:30:28:14 Kate lady.

00:30:28:14 - 00:30:31:00 Seth Who makes these super suits.

00:30:31:02 - 00:30:32:10 Kate Yeah, I know the number.

00:30:32:12 - 00:30:34:17 Seth Edna. Yes, Edna. She has.

00:30:34:17 - 00:30:39:12 Kate Well, she's kind of, like, serious, you know, the way she talks and carries herself.

00:30:39:13 - 00:30:40:00 Stephanie Oh, yeah.

00:30:40:00 - 00:30:50:14 Kate They. It's not like a child. It's not a child. Like. It's like she's. She's ready for business. Yeah, like she could, like, host. you know, meeting in the conference room is like the vibe.

00:30:50:18 - 00:30:54:12

That's literally the vibe I get from her. It's it's fantastic. Yes. Like, she's.

00:30:54:12 - 00:30:58:03 Kate Probably going to be running your calls in no time for all these women.

00:30:58:03 - 00:31:00:20 Seth She's she's been in business. Yeah, yeah, she's in business.

00:31:00:23 - 00:31:06:07 Kate Wow. I didn't realize that. So how old are your kids now? The two that are from that marriage.

00:31:06:07 - 00:31:09:12 Stephanie So my oldest biological child, she'll be 20 next week.

00:31:09:17 - 00:31:12:01 Kate Okay, 20 and then.

00:31:12:01 - 00:31:16:03 Stephanie And then the next. My son, he will be 18 in June.

00:31:16:05 - 00:31:16:20 Kate Okay.

00:31:16:20 - 00:31:20:04 Stephanie So when I went through the divorce, they were four and a half in two and a half.

00:31:20:04 - 00:31:26:11 Kate Are they were really little. Wow. Yeah. So do they kind of consider you like a dad then at this point.

00:31:26:13 - 00:31:27:19 Seth Yeah I feel that role.

00:31:27:20 - 00:31:28:14 Kate Yeah. You know I've.

00:31:28:14 - 00:31:33:06 Seth Always I've always you make space.

00:31:33:06 - 00:31:33:14 Kate Yes.

00:31:33:15 - 00:31:37:21 Seth Right. They can call me whatever they wanted as long as it was a respectful. That was just kind of the.

00:31:38:00 - 00:31:38:14 Kate Yeah.

00:31:38:16 - 00:31:39:19 Seth The rule of our house.

00:31:39:19 - 00:31:40:06 Kate Right. Sure.

00:31:40:07 - 00:31:41:23 Seth Going both ways. All the children, I mean.

00:31:41:23 - 00:31:48:19 Kate Yeah I want to get into that because then how does that dynamic work when you have it's interesting. It's very.

00:31:48:21 - 00:31:51:22

Studio time. So it's rodeo time, man.

00:31:51:23 - 00:31:53:15 Kate Oh my God. I got to get my cowboy.

00:31:53:15 - 00:31:54:02

Boots.

00:31:54:02 - 00:31:55:23 Kate And and not the left.

00:31:55:23 - 00:31:56:15 Stephanie Side in the car.

00:31:56:18 - 00:32:01:15 Seth Yeah, yeah. We have an extra pair actually I'm traveling with two and traveling the two. So.

00:32:01:20 - 00:32:05:02 Kate Okay. So tell me yeah the the two sets like what.

00:32:05:04 - 00:32:06:19 Seth Are we going to get back to the Utah thing.

00:32:06:21 - 00:32:11:08 Kate Yeah. But hold on I do want to get back to that. But I might need to go into that okay.

00:32:11:10 - 00:32:23:08 Seth Oh so so being a dad again. So interestingly enough, when I got married first I was 22. I married into two children. my first wife had been married. Her husband passed away at age 26.

00:32:23:10 - 00:32:24:21 Kate Jeez.

00:32:24:23 - 00:32:26:00 Seth 24.

00:32:26:02 - 00:32:27:10 Kate Anyway, really, I've been married.

00:32:27:16 - 00:32:32:05 Seth They had boys that, When when their father passed, the boys were six and three.

00:32:32:11 - 00:32:33:01 Kate Okay.

00:32:33:01 - 00:32:45:21 Seth And I met them a year later. We got married pretty quickly, and so they were seven and four. Okay. And I remember those boys, like, from the day I met them to pick up their mother for the first day, I, I, you know, we became best friends.

00:32:45:23 - 00:32:47:02 Kate The you and the absolutely.

00:32:47:04 - 00:32:49:05 Seth Best friends buds, pals.

00:32:49:05 - 00:32:49:22 Kate Yeah.

00:32:50:00 - 00:32:52:16 Seth and I'll tell you, being a 22 year old dad.

00:32:52:20 - 00:32:53:08 Kate Yeah.

00:32:53:09 - 00:33:00:04 Seth You know, doing, like, Cub Scouting, right? All that. I mean, I'm made for that anyway. Sports coaching.

00:33:00:05 - 00:33:00:22 Kate

00:33:01:00 - 00:33:09:02 Seth It was awesome. Yeah, it was awesome. I remember thinking, wow, parenting takes a lot of time.

00:33:09:04 - 00:33:10:15 Kate Oh, good parenting. Yeah.

00:33:10:16 - 00:33:20:03 Seth Okay, then you are 22 and I'm working full time, going to school full time. And, and I've got these two boys and we had our, our next son, our first together a year later.

00:33:20:05 - 00:33:20:18 Kate Okay.

00:33:20:21 - 00:33:24:10 Seth Less than a year later. And so I love being a dad.

00:33:24:11 - 00:33:24:19 Kate

00:33:24:20 - 00:33:34:01 Seth Right. And so when, when I had these two new, these two new kids, you know, I just you've got to give them space to make their own decisions.

00:33:34:06 - 00:33:36:13 Kate How old were they when they met you.

00:33:36:14 - 00:33:37:16 Stephanie Trying to remember?

00:33:37:17 - 00:33:39:02 Seth Well, it's ten years ago.

00:33:39:04 - 00:33:41:20 Kate So they were eight. I were ten, they were nine.

00:33:41:20 - 00:33:43:09 Stephanie He was almost or something.

00:33:43:09 - 00:33:47:17 Kate Yeah. Yeah. So about the same age as my girls. Yeah. Seven and nine. Yeah. I think they were. Yeah.

00:33:47:19 - 00:33:48:11 Seth Yeah, yeah.

00:33:48:16 - 00:33:54:09 Kate And so did they receive you. Well they did not like that. No, no. Oh that's.

00:33:54:09 - 00:33:54:21 Seth Super awesome.

00:33:54:23 - 00:34:05:03 Stephanie At this point my ex had dropped out of the picture. Okay. not for long, but I think it was like the summer after I met you or something like that. Oh, no, it was for the next summer.

00:34:05:03 - 00:34:06:22 Seth I'm sorry. I would say they were 100% open.

00:34:07:04 - 00:34:07:13 Kate Okay.

00:34:07:13 - 00:34:09:19 Seth And that's a great relationship.

00:34:09:19 - 00:34:10:04 Kate Yeah.

00:34:10:05 - 00:34:11:15 Seth They decided they want to call me dad.

00:34:11:16 - 00:34:12:18 Kate Oh, yeah.

00:34:12:18 - 00:34:21:07 Stephanie We got engaged. They're like, oh, so when can we call them dad? Can I call him? And I'm like, well, let me talk with him and see what. Yeah, what we want to do. And so yes, they were very open for that.

00:34:21:07 - 00:34:38:02 Kate I call, my step dad, Jim, because I met him when I was three. I didn't call him dad at first, but then they had my sister. And so then, I can't remember how old she was, but they're. I mean, maybe she was, like, four, and I'm like, you know, I should just call you dad. Do you know?

00:34:38:02 - 00:34:56:18 Kate Because you are like a dad to me. And, I mean, he treated me that way, so. But I still had my dad, right? So I just I had two dads. Yeah. And he's. I don't have my biological dad anymore, but my stepdad is still alive and very present in our lives. So. So they were they were great with you.

00:34:56:18 - 00:35:00:00 Kate And you didn't have issues with that? No, no.

00:35:00:00 - 00:35:07:03 Seth Yeah, I here's an interesting part. When I, when I first became a dad because I married into it and I adopted those boys.

00:35:07:03 - 00:35:07:13 Kate Okay.

00:35:07:15 - 00:35:28:18 Seth Later, it was the greatest thing in the world. Right. And then we had four more kids. Love being a dad. And like, if I'm going to be completely just transparent because I think that's what people need to see. Yeah. You know in the shops when Magdalene and Isaac came into my life, I was going through this.

00:35:28:20 - 00:35:49:20 Seth Well I had been through a nasty divorce. Parental alienation, just all kinds like my whole this beautiful world that we created was now in some respects right. Certain relationships crumbling. And I've been a bit on that too. So you know I worked I'm an entrepreneur and the reason we want to, we do our own business is so we can create our own schedules.

00:35:49:20 - 00:35:50:02 Kate Yep.

00:35:50:08 - 00:35:52:12 Seth So my kids knew me.

00:35:52:15 - 00:35:52:19 Kate Yeah.

00:35:52:21 - 00:36:03:02 Seth Like I'm there like I'm helping with homeschool. Yeah. Right. I'm I'm coaching games. I'm not I wasn't perfect. What was going on is I only had my kids half the time.

00:36:03:04 - 00:36:04:04 Kate Okay. Right.

00:36:04:06 - 00:36:09:19 Seth And because of our circumstances, these two kids were with us all the time.

00:36:09:19 - 00:36:10:05 Kate Yeah.

00:36:10:05 - 00:36:23:04 Seth So I was kind of like, I was trying to. We talked about trying to find yourself. Yeah. Like I was in a totally new situation because I thought I knew who I was as a dad. And now I've got, you know, I'm a dad. Step dad.

00:36:23:04 - 00:36:23:16 Kate Yeah.

00:36:23:16 - 00:36:24:09 Seth Full time.

00:36:24:09 - 00:36:24:19 Kate Yeah.

00:36:24:20 - 00:36:27:21 Seth I've got my own children who are being yanked back and forth.

00:36:27:21 - 00:36:30:05 Kate Yeah. That's like a lot of different things going on.

00:36:30:05 - 00:36:50:15 Seth Yeah, yeah. And I think it was really hard for me, to be quite honest, just. Yeah, trying to navigate, you know, and, and now I have different perspectives like. Well yeah, it says in the Bible, the Lord give the Lord, take us home. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Like, here's what your situation is. Now, what are you going to do, Joseph?

00:36:50:17 - 00:36:53:06 Seth You got thrown in a pit and you lost your coat.

00:36:53:06 - 00:36:53:16 Kate Yeah.

00:36:53:17 - 00:37:05:02 Seth You know, or you're sold in the Egypt or you're now in Potter's, you know, you know, you're in the dungeon. I mean, like like, how are you going to adapt? And I think, I, I think I just, I stumbled really.

00:37:05:03 - 00:37:05:11 Kate Well, I.

00:37:05:11 - 00:37:16:03 Stephanie Yeah, I think to go more in detail without something that made it really tricky is so says biological children when it's a call me mama stuff.

00:37:16:05 - 00:37:16:18 Kate Okay.

00:37:16:19 - 00:37:18:12 Stephanie Well their mother found out and.

00:37:18:12 - 00:37:20:13 Kate That that didn't go very well. Yeah.

00:37:20:14 - 00:37:34:07 Stephanie It was it was very intense. Yeah. The kids still wanted to call me that. So it was really difficult for them to hear Maggie and Isaac call him dad. I see they felt like they allowed to call me mama. Steph. Yeah, because of their mother's feelings.

00:37:34:07 - 00:37:35:00 Kate Sure.

00:37:35:02 - 00:37:37:09 Stephanie And so I think that just heightened everything.

00:37:37:09 - 00:37:38:09 Kate Yeah. There were just all.

00:37:38:09 - 00:37:47:15 Seth These inconsistencies, you know, and, you know, my kids were thinking, you know, they're you're their dad, but you're our dad.

00:37:47:19 - 00:37:51:07 Kate Yeah. And yeah, there's a lot of different dynamics.

00:37:51:13 - 00:37:51:21 Seth Huge.

00:37:51:21 - 00:38:00:13 Kate Dynamics. So going on that's okay. And then and then you had two children together. So then we've had that's like another thing.

00:38:00:17 - 00:38:03:13 Seth For different sets of genetics. So among the ten kids.

00:38:03:14 - 00:38:33:17 Kate Yeah I mean not in I mean many ways I'm sure you know how to communicate more effectively with a lot of people and a lot of relationships because you had to wear different hats that most people don't ever experience, like in that way, because it's not like you're just a SAT parent. You had like multiple things going on here when you had the two girls, Hannah and Ruth had, were they like so excited or what was that like?

00:38:33:17 - 00:38:34:17 Seth Oh, they were on board.

00:38:34:22 - 00:38:35:06 Kate Yeah.

00:38:35:10 - 00:38:39:10 Seth Like they were in a sense glue in a sense like healing. Like.

00:38:39:12 - 00:38:42:03 Kate Yeah, everything. They brought the family together.

00:38:42:06 - 00:38:51:11 Seth Step parents. We got step. We've got parents that hate the other side. You know, we've got parents that kind of disappeared. You know, we've got these parents who are.

00:38:51:11 - 00:38:51:22 Kate Yeah.

00:38:51:23 - 00:38:58:02 Seth Awesome. And and struggling. Yeah. To try to juggle these emotions and feelings and the inconsistencies.

00:38:58:02 - 00:38:58:11 Kate Yeah.

00:38:58:14 - 00:39:01:05 Stephanie Well and finding our places, you know, and.

00:39:01:06 - 00:39:02:06 Seth Our roles and it was.

00:39:02:06 - 00:39:03:00 Stephanie So hard.

00:39:03:01 - 00:39:11:10 Kate Well or you're even just like, how about falling in love and this relationship with all of that. like, what is that like?

00:39:11:12 - 00:39:19:04 Seth Well, here's, here's, you know, why we're here and why we've been able to to weather the storms is because our relationship.

00:39:19:06 - 00:39:26:06 Kate Yeah, was our rock. But how did you how do you get to that place? How do you create this rock of a relationship?

00:39:26:08 - 00:39:39:12 Stephanie Well, I think, you know, like we going back, we talked about how God is the center of both of our lives. Okay. Even recently we've talked with our, our girls that came up because of a song by Ian Music and country singer.

00:39:39:17 - 00:39:41:01 Seth Course.

00:39:41:03 - 00:39:50:06 Stephanie I love country and how he talks about how this woman that he found her heart is so with God that she knows that he's number two in her life.

00:39:50:12 - 00:39:54:04 Kate Oh, which is good, right? That's what she wants. And you want God to be number one?

00:39:54:05 - 00:40:15:07 Stephanie Absolutely. God knows better than any of us, right? And, you know, he brought us together. Yeah. So I'm so glad I followed his plan instead of mine. I think that's probably the foundation of it all, is that both of our hearts and our focus is on God first. Yeah. And then each other second. I think another thing that really helped was a therapist that we went to, I think about a year into our marriage, we both agreed, okay.

00:40:15:07 - 00:40:17:07 Stephanie We think, yeah, not necessary that we needed.

00:40:17:07 - 00:40:18:22 Kate Help, but just wanted to be.

00:40:18:23 - 00:40:19:09 Seth There, I needed.

00:40:19:09 - 00:40:20:09 Kate Help. Well.

00:40:20:11 - 00:40:22:10 Seth It wasn't like falling apart, but we needed help.

00:40:22:10 - 00:40:26:11 Stephanie Well, yeah, that when I brought it to him, he said, we don't need help. And I said.

00:40:26:11 - 00:40:27:06 Kate Yeah, that's.

00:40:27:09 - 00:40:29:20 Seth Baloney. I, we definitely I want, you know.

00:40:29:23 - 00:40:31:14 Kate Like you said that that.

00:40:31:17 - 00:40:33:13

Like I'm looking I'm looking for.

00:40:33:15 - 00:40:36:09 Seth Wisdom right now. I can say that's been.

00:40:36:10 - 00:40:37:05

Hey that's good.

00:40:37:05 - 00:40:42:12 Kate For a lot of guys to hear. Because why do you think you said that in that moment?

00:40:42:14 - 00:40:46:03 Seth well, you don't want to, like, oftentimes you don't want to be vulnerable.

00:40:46:08 - 00:40:47:10 Kate Yeah. You don't want especially as.

00:40:47:10 - 00:40:57:00 Seth Manly as a man. You know, you want to be, right, you know, or or you don't even have to be right. You just don't want to necessarily be called out. Yeah, you know that you're wrong.

00:40:57:01 - 00:40:57:13 Kate Yeah, yeah.

00:40:57:13 - 00:41:01:03 Seth And I think it was just one of those things to say, no, no, no. But I'm strong.

00:41:01:08 - 00:41:03:13 Kate Yes. Right.

00:41:03:15 - 00:41:07:03 Seth Absolutely. We need that. Like like you need counseling everybody.

00:41:07:03 - 00:41:08:01

Everybody needs.

00:41:08:07 - 00:41:25:12 Seth Yeah. Everybody needs certain modalities. Yes. Like including prayer and including, you know, affirmations and meditation and and great talk therapy and other therapies like. And I've been to counseling too, like during the divorce, I'd sought out some.

00:41:25:12 - 00:41:25:20 Kate Yeah.

00:41:25:21 - 00:41:31:00 Seth Counseling because I wanted help, but I didn't really I think it was different for me at that time.

00:41:31:00 - 00:41:31:11 Kate Yeah.

00:41:31:11 - 00:41:33:17 Seth As we got remarried, I thought, well no, I'm a little stronger now.

00:41:33:17 - 00:41:34:04 Kate

00:41:34:06 - 00:41:42:14 Seth Right. But we needed, we needed some help because we were at an impasse. And if you're at an impasse with yourself as an individual guess what. You need something.

00:41:42:19 - 00:41:43:10 Kate Yeah. You need.

00:41:43:15 - 00:41:44:15 Seth An intervention.

00:41:44:15 - 00:41:44:20 Kate Yeah.

00:41:44:20 - 00:41:49:14 Seth Which could be counseling. Could be therapy. There's so many modalities if you're in an impasse with your spouse.

00:41:49:17 - 00:41:50:00 Kate Yeah.

00:41:50:01 - 00:41:56:21 Seth Guess what. You need something. You know, if your wagon is stuck, you got to pull it out.

00:41:56:23 - 00:42:04:03 Kate I know some people just don't want to. I guess it's pride, you know, that stopping them.

00:42:04:03 - 00:42:05:02 Seth Pride and fear.

00:42:05:03 - 00:42:05:21 Stephanie Ego?

00:42:05:23 - 00:42:06:09 Kate Yeah.

00:42:06:09 - 00:42:08:14 Seth Pride and fear. Like, I think fear.

00:42:08:18 - 00:42:10:22 Kate Is the number one driver.

00:42:11:00 - 00:42:21:06 Seth I think they're just. There are a lot of proud people. There is a lot of pride and enmity, you know, and anger facing to God. Right. But again, I think there's a whole lot of fear.

00:42:21:08 - 00:42:48:19 Kate Yeah. No, I think so too. I mean, not even just with social media. Right. Like and so many people, you put a camera on them and it the all the insecurities come to the surface, which I actually think is a beautiful thing because when you really see them, you know, and then you can kind of break through those and just become a better communicator and you develop that self-worth.

00:42:48:21 - 00:42:50:09 Stephanie It's an opportunity to heal.

00:42:50:10 - 00:42:50:17 Kate Yeah.

00:42:50:17 - 00:42:51:08 Stephanie You let it.

00:42:51:10 - 00:42:56:19 Kate Yeah it is. It doesn't have to be this like toxic thing that people kind of make it out to be.

00:42:56:21 - 00:43:11:23 Stephanie When he did tell me you know well we're okay. We don't need help. Well I had a friend that had told me, you know, she was planning a family and she was a few years ahead of us. Yeah. And so I said, well, honey, it's not necessarily because we need help, but we know for sure that we're going to need help.

00:43:12:01 - 00:43:29:01 Stephanie So it's more of a preventative measure, right? Like if we can get it right now, then it will prevent other things from happening. Totally. And within that therapy, one of the things that he told us was because of the dynamics of the other parents, that it was our responsibility to show them what a healthy marriages.

00:43:29:03 - 00:43:29:18 Kate Oh, that's.

00:43:29:18 - 00:43:38:07 Stephanie Good. And so we have worked really, really hard to tell each other that even if we have some disagreements or, you know, things come up that we're on the same team.

00:43:38:12 - 00:43:38:23 Kate Yeah.

00:43:38:23 - 00:43:51:03 Stephanie And so we actually aren't fighting each other. We were fighting, Satan or, you know, these things that are coming up. We're doing it together. So, yeah, I don't know if that makes sense. Now, that.

00:43:51:03 - 00:43:51:21 Kate Does make sense.

00:43:51:21 - 00:43:56:07 Seth The number one gift. And I'm going to change what we've said. So watch watch this ad lib here.

00:43:56:08 - 00:43:58:21 Kate Oh my God you guys.

00:43:58:23 - 00:44:05:17 Seth Well we used to say we used to say the number one gifts we could give our children, is a happy and healthy marriage.

00:44:05:17 - 00:44:06:18 Kate Yeah.

00:44:06:19 - 00:44:12:12 Seth I think that's number two. As long as we're reordering things. I think the number one as a couple, that is the number one thing that we could do.

00:44:12:13 - 00:44:12:20 Kate Yeah.

00:44:12:21 - 00:44:25:17 Seth Parent as an individual, the number one thing, the number one gift you could give your children, is to be a happy you a happy, healthy, vibrant, complete, authentic, growing you.

00:44:25:19 - 00:44:26:03 Kate Yeah.

00:44:26:06 - 00:44:34:13 Seth Because we often want to look at the children and say, I just I want to give it to them. I want them to. That's great. Do you want your children to be healthy? You got to be healthy.

00:44:34:15 - 00:44:35:01 Kate So your.

00:44:35:01 - 00:44:36:13 Seth Children to have deep faith.

00:44:36:14 - 00:44:36:23 Kate

00:44:37:03 - 00:44:38:17 Seth You got to go on that journey.

00:44:38:17 - 00:44:42:20 Stephanie Yeah I was going to say that goes back to the relationship that you have with God right.

00:44:42:22 - 00:44:43:14 Kate Yeah.

00:44:43:16 - 00:44:43:23 Seth Yeah.

00:44:44:04 - 00:44:45:12 Kate No I think that's really good.

00:44:45:12 - 00:44:47:12 Seth So for me that a priority.

00:44:47:14 - 00:44:52:05 Kate So I mean I know you work with a lot of single moms right.

00:44:52:10 - 00:44:53:17 Seth We thousands of women.

00:44:53:21 - 00:44:54:20 Kate Lots of women, women.

00:44:54:20 - 00:44:55:17 Seth And lots of them.

00:44:55:20 - 00:44:56:05 Kate Yeah.

00:44:56:10 - 00:44:57:14 Seth Based on the numbers. Right.

00:44:57:15 - 00:44:57:23 Kate Based on the.

00:44:57:23 - 00:45:13:14 Seth Demographics. And one of the reasons that we're in this space working with women, both in our, you know, our business, our mainline business, in the entrepreneurial world as well as podcast. Yeah, right. Is because we want to serve women, you know.

00:45:13:16 - 00:45:43:05 Kate Yeah, a lot of single women. I mean, I think it's really beautiful what you guys are doing. And what do you feel like their biggest like insecurities are with becoming successful in starting this business. Like what do you work on on these calls with them and what is the. Yeah, I mean, sure, you see a theme, right? Or a lot of things that come up for them that are kind of holding them back from really, I don't know, even in just investing in themselves.

00:45:43:05 - 00:45:48:03 Stephanie Helping them to know who they are is a big one, believing that they're enough.

00:45:48:05 - 00:45:48:14 Kate Yeah.

00:45:48:15 - 00:45:55:01 Stephanie You know, we talk a lot about affirmations and, finding out who you are and not being afraid to be you.

00:45:55:03 - 00:46:01:00 Kate Yeah. What do you think is like, what about being themselves? Scares them.

00:46:01:03 - 00:46:11:04 Seth So we're we're in Japan? Yeah, the four of us. So me and Stephanie, two young girls with exaggeration, 37 pieces of luggage, right?

00:46:11:05 - 00:46:13:02 Kate Train like, serious, like.

00:46:13:02 - 00:46:21:23 Seth Imagine a eight year old, six year old with 10,000 people in a station going 93 different directions. Bullet trains coming in from 150 miles an hour. Oh my.

00:46:21:23 - 00:46:22:11

Gosh.

00:46:22:15 - 00:46:26:04 Seth Right. And and we've got camera equipment because we're shooting.

00:46:26:04 - 00:46:28:09 Kate Yeah. We're they're you're dedicated there to your.

00:46:28:09 - 00:46:31:01 Seth Business and we're there to film with women.

00:46:31:01 - 00:46:31:15 Kate Yep.

00:46:31:16 - 00:46:40:01 Seth But we did six cities in Asia, three in Thailand, three in three in Japan. And, and all four of us were speaking.

00:46:40:03 - 00:46:40:10 Kate Yeah.

00:46:40:10 - 00:46:44:05 Seth At these conferences. Wow. Some of them are small, small rooms, you know.

00:46:44:07 - 00:46:44:16 Kate Yeah.

00:46:44:20 - 00:46:55:13 Seth 20, 30 people in them, some with hundreds. Yeah. You know, five, 600 people, all of that. And all four of us were on the speaking. I love the agenda. Right. Yeah. Six year old laying it down.

00:46:55:14 - 00:47:00:01 Kate Oh, yeah. I teach a business. Hey, give Ruth the mic and.

00:47:00:03 - 00:47:00:16 Seth You learn how.

00:47:00:16 - 00:47:02:23 Kate To listen. Yeah. And Hannah. Yeah.

00:47:03:04 - 00:47:13:15 Seth So Steph had her section is exactly what we're talking about. Right now she can go into the detail on that. But, but then we would also meet with these women afterward.

00:47:13:17 - 00:47:14:01 Kate Yeah.

00:47:14:02 - 00:47:21:14 Seth Bring some lighting in, bring a camera and, and ask them, you know what made the biggest difference for you.

00:47:21:16 - 00:47:22:05 Kate Yeah.

00:47:22:07 - 00:47:23:07 Seth And why.

00:47:23:09 - 00:47:24:01 Kate Okay.

00:47:24:03 - 00:47:41:18 Stephanie So I, you know talked a lot about the power of affirmations and also how one of my friends recently, I at the time I had been talking to her about how I have been doing affirmations for a couple of years and how they've really helped me in my confidence and yeah, everything. And she was like, oh, I was just talking to my therapist about this.

00:47:41:20 - 00:47:55:09 Stephanie And she said that her therapist told her that if she would do a cold shower for a few minutes and she would repeat those affirmations that when hard times came up, that her brain would automatically go back to those affirmations.

00:47:55:09 - 00:47:56:01 Kate Interesting.

00:47:56:01 - 00:47:58:20 Stephanie Yeah. And so I was like, it's a positive trigger.

00:47:58:22 - 00:47:59:21 Kate Yes. I was.

00:47:59:21 - 00:48:02:00 Stephanie Like, man, I hate cold water.

00:48:02:01 - 00:48:10:16 Kate Right? But is it like it's a it's like an interruption to the brain. Right. So then that's how you can. Yeah. Associate it. Yeah.

00:48:10:16 - 00:48:28:10 Stephanie Okay. And so I was like okay I'm going to try this out. Yeah. And so I did and it totally works. Yeah 100%. And so I'm a big believer in sharing that experience with them. And then I would go through with about a list of ten affirmations really simple ones because a lot of them had never done them before.

00:48:28:12 - 00:48:28:19 Kate Yeah.

00:48:28:20 - 00:48:38:13 Stephanie And just went through and repeated, I mean, you'd see some of them like writing them down and yeah, it was kind of blown my mind because I'm like, wow, you know, I didn't realize that, you know, yeah, people aren't doing this.

00:48:38:18 - 00:48:40:04 Kate No.

00:48:40:05 - 00:48:56:03 Stephanie And so I did that. And then when I went on to speak later, you know, two more would come or three more would come. So I just kind of add them to the list. Yeah. And one of them, I was really surprised, and I know it was God telling me to write I am me. Yeah. Like, that's so basic.

00:48:56:06 - 00:49:16:05 Stephanie Yeah. And so strange. And I was like, well, I'm not sure why, but I know how God talks to me, so I'm just going to do it. Yep. And, and so when we ended up interviewing one of the women afterwards and asked her what was, you know, inspired her the most, what was the most touching? She brought up the affirmations and she actually started crying, you know, and she was like, when you said, I am me.

00:49:16:07 - 00:49:23:17 Stephanie It was like it gave me permission to be me. Yeah. Not just be mom. You know, I, I don't think she was married.

00:49:23:18 - 00:49:24:09 Seth No. She's married.

00:49:24:11 - 00:49:25:09 Stephanie Oh, she was well.

00:49:25:09 - 00:49:27:05 Seth She was at one time, I think she was still married.

00:49:27:09 - 00:49:33:11 Stephanie Oh. Okay. but she said, you know, I've. I've never given myself permission to just be me.

00:49:33:13 - 00:50:04:09 Kate Yeah. I think that that's the struggle is like, with women. And you've probably experienced this, right. Like, if you. I get this right. I work a lot, but I love what I do. So I enjoy it. But I also love being a mom. But I'll get like well for instance somebody said Jean the other day like I haven't seen any posts about the children lately and like oh yeah, they're, they're still around.

00:50:04:09 - 00:50:26:09 Kate They're great. You know like still there. You know, I just, you know, it was like the way and maybe I maybe that triggered something in me, I don't know. But I was like, that's an interesting question. Like, the way it was phrased. And, but then that's what will happen, right? Like if you work hard, then it's. Well, are you not being present with your kids?

00:50:26:11 - 00:50:37:13 Kate And then if you're with your kids too much, it's well, you know, what are you going to do about work or what are you going to do about this or that, or I mean, it's like there's you can't wait.

00:50:37:13 - 00:50:39:05 Seth I'm working those out with my therapist and I'll talk.

00:50:39:05 - 00:50:41:14 Kate To them, you know, you know, like that's when I.

00:50:41:18 - 00:50:42:10 Seth To get a.

00:50:42:10 - 00:50:59:09 Kate Woman. I feel it is a little bit different with a woman. With a man. It's like, okay. Yeah, you go to work, you provide. As long as you're a good provider and you treat your wife right, and the kids and, you know, like, but with a woman, you know, I think it's different. Like.

00:50:59:11 - 00:51:14:03 Stephanie Yes. I've seen some people make rules or different things about, you know, when men are present in a child's life and how they get all these accolades like, oh my goodness, you're still amazing. I can't believe it. You're the best dad. But when a woman is, it's like, well, are you doing enough?

00:51:14:05 - 00:51:15:23

Yes. So true.

00:51:16:01 - 00:51:35:16 Kate That's so true. Because but I mean, I think that just goes to show you, like, you cannot please everyone, no matter what. I mean, this applies to any topic. Yes. But I think that as women, we have such a nurturing like spirit that we I and for me, I think it's just that obviously being a mom is my most important role.

00:51:35:19 - 00:51:54:03 Kate Of course. Yeah. So if anyone kind of judges that or makes me feel, I mean, I guess they can't make me feel right or my feelings, but this questions my intentions as a mother, then that does trigger me. I'm not gonna lie. I'm like.

00:51:54:05 - 00:52:03:23 Stephanie I don't want you there. I definitely saw a heightened when I became a single mom, and I'm like, inside me. I'm just thinking you didn't really do this as much before, at least vocally.

00:52:04:00 - 00:52:04:08 Kate

00:52:04:11 - 00:52:07:12 Stephanie So why are you doing it? Just because I don't have a husband? Well.

00:52:07:12 - 00:52:10:06 Kate And wouldn't you think they'd be more supportive of you?

00:52:10:08 - 00:52:12:00 Seth More supportive instead of more judgment?

00:52:12:05 - 00:52:34:08 Kate The same thing I was very shocked myself. It's like, wait a minute. How about good job for taking care of everything? You know, being the the dad and the mom, like, I mean, most of the time because you still have these different, like, roles, even if you're one person. So you got to show up in that masculine energy and the feminine.

00:52:34:08 - 00:52:50:16 Kate Yes. And, and then. Yeah. And then you get the judgment like, are you kidding me. Yes. It's unreal. Yeah. Yeah. So we need to support each other. And that's why you get involved with, you know, a company like you guys because they have that support. Yes.

00:52:50:18 - 00:53:02:09 Seth I think going back to this, this experience in Japan, which with that woman, much of her life has, is defined by her roles.

00:53:02:11 - 00:53:04:20 Kate Yes. That's good. Yeah.

00:53:04:21 - 00:53:26:17 Seth And men get that because we have roles in the lines of demarcation. you know historically you know contextually I mean that we just right there, here this is the work time. And here if you're in the ministry and here, you know, you showed up as a dad like great women's women are wearing all of those hats, right?

00:53:26:19 - 00:53:33:13 Seth Without maybe the the lines of demarcation. And they're, they're defined, but they're also defined by those roles.

00:53:33:15 - 00:54:01:22 Kate Right. I think that's a bigger problem, right? Yes. For all of us. Right. Because especially with men, I work with a lot of men. So I see this a lot. But they attach their worth and identity to their, career and their professional accomplishments. And then when that doesn't go exactly as planned, then they don't know who they are.

00:54:02:00 - 00:54:18:12 Kate And I think it's really sad because like you said. Yeah. Like you're perfect just as you and those things that doesn't make you, you, that's just an extension of your life right. Of what you do. But like that's not who you are.

00:54:18:14 - 00:54:29:02 Seth Right. So and you said this is, this is every part of your life. Applying it to the business world. Right. You as a professional it's not about the how.

00:54:29:04 - 00:54:30:07 Kate

00:54:30:09 - 00:54:36:01 Seth It's about the who. And if you can establish and reestablish rediscover.

00:54:36:06 - 00:54:36:16 Kate

00:54:36:16 - 00:54:39:06 Seth Right. That identity.

00:54:39:06 - 00:54:39:23 Kate Yeah.

00:54:40:00 - 00:54:42:00 Seth It opens up the destiny. And then the.

00:54:42:00 - 00:54:42:23 Kate How.

00:54:43:01 - 00:54:43:06 Seth The.

00:54:43:06 - 00:54:45:21 Kate How we kind of go back to that, say that again.

00:54:46:01 - 00:54:46:23

What did you just.

00:54:46:23 - 00:54:58:17 Seth One of our, this one of our little. There's one of our, our fun little twit tweets that we like to. That was so your identity unlocks your destiny. And when when you solidify and rediscover that identity.

00:54:58:22 - 00:54:59:08 Kate Yeah.

00:54:59:10 - 00:55:11:08 Seth Then everything else falls into place in that and the how that's like, yeah, you need to figure out how how can I build social media. You're your rock star in social media. You did that in the real estate world as well right.

00:55:11:08 - 00:55:11:18 Kate Yeah.

00:55:11:20 - 00:55:22:15 Seth Now you're helping people create content. But you show up way different and way more authentic and way more full and fulfilled. Now when Kate has got her feet grounded.

00:55:22:17 - 00:55:23:07 Kate

00:55:23:09 - 00:55:30:23 Seth You know, kind of like fully grounded, know who she, who she is and how can you know who you are unless you know where you came from.

00:55:31:01 - 00:55:50:13 Kate Yeah. Right. Well yeah. That's like the our creator. Right. Like. Yeah. So it's funny you say that because she knows not knowing the how. Right. This is a good point. And I completely agree with you because I, I experiences like when I started to do the work on myself and build their relationship at the same time. Right.

00:55:50:13 - 00:56:02:03 Kate Well, it goes together. and then I asked him just I've been to just trust you. You tell me where you want me to go and, like, let's do this. Like I, I surrender.

00:56:02:03 - 00:56:02:15 Stephanie Yes.

00:56:02:21 - 00:56:27:16 Kate And that's he led me here to the sales floor upstairs, and it didn't really make sense, to be honest at the time. And so. But but I just had to that was what I was being called to do. So I did it. So then I'm on these sales calls and on zoom. Right. And that is where I discovered what I'm supposed to be doing, which is coaching.

00:56:27:18 - 00:56:54:01 Kate And because I would sell, but then they would keep coming back to me. And, and so then that's literally how I got to where I am today. Like it wasn't a plan at all. It just happened. So then I went from selling to coaching and really helping our clients in that way. And and I love it. And I mean, I've been able to help a lot of clients.

00:56:54:01 - 00:57:07:21 Kate And so but I put it right. I wouldn't have known, you know what I mean? Like, I didn't know that. I didn't know that was going to happen. But I had to say like, okay, like lead me. But I think people are afraid to do that. Right? So that's where you have to, like, lean in.

00:57:08:02 - 00:57:08:16 Stephanie Yes.

00:57:08:16 - 00:57:16:02 Kate And trust and have the courage to kind of like go places. Maybe you maybe they don't logically make sense.

00:57:16:02 - 00:57:17:11 Seth You tell them, you know.

00:57:17:11 - 00:57:17:16 Kate Yeah.

00:57:17:18 - 00:57:27:21 Stephanie Like me moving to Utah was so, so hard for me. So hard because I literally I don't have any family in Utah. I didn't have a job. I had nothing.

00:57:27:21 - 00:57:28:19 Kate I know that's why.

00:57:28:22 - 00:57:44:08 Stephanie Nothing. And so it took so much of my faith. Like my faith grew 100% going through that experience and just saying okay. God. Yeah. You asked me to go to Utah. So you need to open doors for me.

00:57:44:08 - 00:57:44:21 Kate Yes.

00:57:44:21 - 00:58:00:03 Stephanie And I had the thought to reach out to a friend and I said, yeah, you know, just just chatting with her and talking about how she's in Utah. And I was wanting to move to Utah and she's like, well, why don't you move in with me on your feet? And then you can, you know, get a job and then save up little and then move out.

00:58:00:05 - 00:58:14:12 Stephanie And I was like, oh, okay. You know, that's where it where it led. But, I mean, I remember sitting in the car with my sister at one point and with my friend on the other and just crying and crying and crying because it would be different if it was just me. But yeah, when you have two children that rely on you.

00:58:14:12 - 00:58:15:01 Kate Sure.

00:58:15:01 - 00:58:21:03 Stephanie And an ex who you know is not very reliable, that's one of the scariest things to do.

00:58:21:05 - 00:58:22:22 Kate Yeah, that would be very scary.

00:58:22:23 - 00:58:23:16 Stephanie Yeah.

00:58:23:18 - 00:58:27:22 Kate But then how long before it all kind of came together?

00:58:28:00 - 00:58:40:16 Stephanie it was actually pretty quick at that point. Before that, I had come up here for a church function and, would go pass out resumes for like, half a day, and then I would go to the church thing, you know, because it's like an all day, a week long thing.

00:58:40:16 - 00:58:41:03 Kate Okay.

00:58:41:04 - 00:58:56:07 Stephanie And, my sister, my friend came up for that, and they went to that all the time while I went on pass on my resume. Okay. Well, I passed out, I don't know, 100 or 200 resumes by the end of the week. And I got two calls back and both of them had said, we want you to work nights and weekends.

00:58:56:07 - 00:58:59:23 Stephanie And I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's not going to work for me. Like I have.

00:58:59:23 - 00:59:00:15 Kate Kids. Yeah.

00:59:00:15 - 00:59:23:10 Stephanie You know, so this door opening with my friend was exactly what I needed. It was difficult. Our our beliefs in some ways didn't completely match some of our standards and stuff. And she was in a toxic marriage at the time. Yeah. Anyway, so that kind of money did a little. But I learned a lot about myself, and it really strengthened some things in me that I believe attracted Seth to me.

00:59:23:12 - 00:59:26:01 Stephanie Oh, and so I know it was a step that I needed to take.

00:59:26:01 - 00:59:29:19 Kate You had to go through. Yeah. it was like part of that journey.

00:59:29:19 - 00:59:36:08 Stephanie Yes. So from the time that I moved to Utah, until I met Seth, how long was it, like three months.

00:59:36:08 - 00:59:38:11 Kate I was pretty fast. Yes.

00:59:38:13 - 00:59:40:04 Stephanie Yeah, it was really fast.

00:59:40:06 - 00:59:55:02 Kate Yeah. So. And at the same time, because I'm trying to imagine that. So she's two, three months before you met her. Okay. Were you, like, praying and asking for certain things to do or to be guided in some way?

00:59:55:04 - 00:59:58:19 Seth Absolutely. So glad he didn't ask me to move to Arizona.

00:59:58:21 - 01:00:02:15

Oh me too.

01:00:02:17 - 01:00:06:13 Seth You know, it was so.

01:00:06:13 - 01:00:08:05

Sometimes good.

01:00:08:07 - 01:00:09:15 Seth When I went through my divorce after.

01:00:09:15 - 01:00:18:21

50 years. Got a lot of jokes, but not all of them were like, super funny. Oh, it's good that one was again. well, cause when you're a jokester, I.

01:00:18:21 - 01:00:19:10 Kate Mean, they can't.

01:00:19:10 - 01:00:23:10

All be. You got that one? Really got me. Yeah.

01:00:23:11 - 01:00:35:12 Seth Okay, so, you know, I've been married for 15 years, and. Yeah, again, I what was important to me, number one is family. Why do I run a business so I can spend more time with my family so we can go do these things? We can create experiences.

01:00:35:12 - 01:00:38:07 Kate Yes. Right. Yeah. So my speech enough?

01:00:38:09 - 01:00:57:23 Seth Yeah. Speaking there. Right out there. but it really rocked my foundation. Not my spiritual foundation with God like that. Yeah, that was strong, which helped me to weather the storm. But it was that okay. God. So what. Why this way. Right. Again getting worried in the house.

01:00:58:01 - 01:01:00:04 Kate Yeah. Yeah. Right. I can relate to that. Yeah.

01:01:00:08 - 01:01:11:16 Seth Like well knowing that but this whole like happy family thing like we were the, we were the front row the front pew family. Like when my best friends found out about this are like yeah. No no not your family.

01:01:11:17 - 01:01:12:00 Kate Right.

01:01:12:00 - 01:01:13:15 Seth Like happen to anybody.

01:01:13:15 - 01:01:17:00 Kate Folks know it can happen. So true. That's so true.

01:01:17:00 - 01:01:24:22 Seth But I was really rocked inside like my my who am I. Yeah sure. Yes I know I'm a son of God, but this sucks.

01:01:25:03 - 01:01:34:18 Kate Well, in that day I respect the identity to for me a little bit like I didn't like that the I don't know if you felt like that because if you were this perfect family quote unquote, right.

01:01:34:19 - 01:01:35:09 Seth Yeah.

01:01:35:10 - 01:01:38:09 Kate I, I'm like, I don't want that. I don't want that label on me.

01:01:38:09 - 01:01:39:09 Stephanie The Scarlet Letter.

01:01:39:09 - 01:01:40:01 Kate Like was.

01:01:40:03 - 01:01:43:18 Stephanie Kind of what I felt like, oh, I've got the big D thing on my forehead.

01:01:43:18 - 01:01:53:21 Seth I'm like, yeah, now, now, you know, honestly, I'm proud to have the scar, if you will. Like, like it's experience.

01:01:53:21 - 01:01:54:14 Kate Well, now it's.

01:01:54:14 - 01:01:55:01 Seth Like when we.

01:01:55:04 - 01:01:56:14 Kate Yeah. In that moment.

01:01:56:14 - 01:02:15:11 Seth It's like when we met with Erin Brockovich recently. This Lexie's thing, right? And she's like, what I learned to the dyslexia. I thought it was going to sink me. Became something I actually came to absolutely love because it was part of me and, you know, going to church by myself because I wanted my kids to go to their to their home congregation.

01:02:15:11 - 01:02:31:08 Seth And I'll be back and forth. Right? So like, like, dude, I'm alone, like truly alone. And I had to figure out who I was. Really. What do I really like? I had a great spiritual mentor and has going through this at the beginning of it, when I found out this is happening in my life, are you kidding me?

01:02:31:08 - 01:03:03:09 Seth I'm going to be going through a divorce. I'm gonna lose my children to any success God wants. Set molder to be self molder. And nobody else. And that was like rain in the Sahara desert like that poured so much positive divine power into my life because like you I had acquiesced away so much of my personality.

01:03:03:11 - 01:03:03:20 Kate

01:03:03:21 - 01:03:09:06 Seth Because it didn't function. It wasn't, you know, it was almost like it wasn't allowed.

01:03:09:07 - 01:03:10:15 Kate Yeah. Right. Yeah.

01:03:10:16 - 01:03:31:14 Seth Like I'm, I'm, I, I'm not going to go into that. But it was so apparent that I was like the shell of who I really was, wasn't playing with my friends. Right. I wasn't dressing like I would dress, I wasn't speaking, I wasn't smiling, I wasn't singing, I wasn't doing like I give all the.

01:03:31:14 - 01:03:32:11 Kate Things that.

01:03:32:13 - 01:03:58:17 Seth Give up. My business lost millions of dollars. Like all all of those amazing, beautiful things that surround who I am. They were all gone. And when he said that, it was like God saying, yo son, it's time to be you again. And I just took this big, deep divine breath and said, okay, it's go time. I went. I went to the boot store the very next day.

01:03:58:17 - 01:04:03:08 Seth Yeah, I bought two pairs of cowboy boots. Yeah, and I bought boots for all my kids at home.

01:04:03:12 - 01:04:04:01 Kate Okay.

01:04:04:03 - 01:04:06:13 Seth And I started being me again.

01:04:06:16 - 01:04:07:02 Kate Yeah.

01:04:07:02 - 01:04:25:15 Seth And it was the most. I was like, this whole being me thing. This is seriously fun, right? Right. Yeah. And, and so that was the path that I was on, deepening my spirituality and trying to walk with God. Even a really tough times. Because, like, we can talk about it. It's all nice or smiling. They were hard.

01:04:25:15 - 01:04:27:09 Kate Times. Oh, yeah. You know how it is, right?

01:04:27:10 - 01:04:29:08 Seth Like balling myself.

01:04:29:08 - 01:04:32:10 Kate Yes me too I yes, exactly. Yeah.

01:04:32:13 - 01:04:38:02 Seth I remember being in an apartment. Yeah. Because I didn't want my marriage to end like I was open. Let's see how we can figure this out.

01:04:38:02 - 01:04:40:03 Kate Same for me. I didn't want that.

01:04:40:03 - 01:04:41:23 Stephanie Yeah yeah I left yeah.

01:04:42:01 - 01:04:49:04

She's like he's out. I'm out of here. Prison. God told me there's so many really good. And you.

01:04:49:06 - 01:04:50:21 Kate Know.

01:04:50:23 - 01:05:05:22 Seth Six years later, yeah, I really I remember getting a knock on the unaware. I think it was Wednesday morning. I think it was March and knock on the door, I'm like, who's here? My kids weren't there.

01:05:05:22 - 01:05:06:18 Kate At the time, and.

01:05:06:19 - 01:05:16:15 Seth I had my kids and I opened the door and Seth Molder. Yeah. Okay. Sign and hand me some papers. Those are those were the final. Oh, papers.

01:05:16:15 - 01:05:17:06 Kate Like, yeah.

01:05:17:12 - 01:05:19:14 Seth You you were a single boy.

01:05:19:18 - 01:05:20:10 Kate Yeah.

01:05:20:11 - 01:05:23:01 Seth And I just remember just sobbing.

01:05:23:04 - 01:05:23:16 Kate Yeah.

01:05:23:18 - 01:05:39:03 Seth Right. But that was all part of the process. Like sometimes like if, if again looking back now and what I learned about marriage was the foundation of marriage is not love. Now love's pretty high up on the list.

01:05:39:04 - 01:05:40:01 Kate Yeah.

01:05:40:03 - 01:05:43:11 Seth But way before love is choice.

01:05:43:13 - 01:05:44:05 Kate Wow.

01:05:44:07 - 01:05:56:20 Seth Because choice is connected to your accountability to yourself and God gave each one of us that agency like he didn't come and force me to do any of this.

01:05:56:22 - 01:06:03:20 Kate But did I get to like, feel him in this room or something? What's happening? Like, I'm getting emotional.

01:06:03:22 - 01:06:16:05 Seth Because I realized, you know what? That my wife needed to make a choice. And it sucked. At the time. Yeah, but I wish her nothing. I just want her to be happy. Right. And. And she made her choice.

01:06:16:07 - 01:06:25:23 Kate Right? Yeah. But, like, that's what heard Dre. Because it's like they didn't choose us. Yes. True. Like we. And then you feel like what? I wasn't good enough to be chosen. Oh, yeah. You know, you have to go through that.

01:06:25:23 - 01:06:32:08 Stephanie And even, like, I had my ex's family that blamed me for the divorce, blamed me for.

01:06:32:08 - 01:06:33:08 Kate Leaving me too.

01:06:33:10 - 01:06:40:11 Stephanie And I'm just like, well, actually, it's from his choices that forced me to make a choice.

01:06:40:11 - 01:06:42:05 Kate And to probably have a boundary.

01:06:42:05 - 01:06:54:20 Stephanie Exactly. And and I had given him chance after chance or chance and then some. And then I finally, you know, new with God, which is a whole nother story. Yeah. Of that it was over.

01:06:54:22 - 01:07:14:23 Kate Yeah. I can remember having this, like there was like three months. I mean, it's more than that, but significantly the three months where I was like, just praying I have these written down and done all these prayers where I'm just like, please, like speak to him, you know, like this. Just I'm just fighting for this to work, right?

01:07:14:23 - 01:07:19:01 Kate I'm like, why is this not working? Like, what do you why are you doing this? You know.

01:07:19:03 - 01:07:20:06 Seth You can heal anything.

01:07:20:06 - 01:07:20:21 Kate You know? Yeah.

01:07:20:22 - 01:07:22:07 Seth Why aren't you healing this?

01:07:22:07 - 01:07:44:08 Kate And I'm like, don't you want to keep this family together? You know, those are like the thoughts, right? And and then it just kept, like, hitting this wall and wall and and then things that were. And like, there's just this. I don't know why this is so hard. And then I still was fighting. And then he, he was like, I think we should just go our separate ways.

01:07:44:09 - 01:08:00:22 Kate And I'll never forget those words because it was just like that, like as if I was, I don't know, a high school girlfriend or something. Yeah. I think, you know. Yeah. Like I think we should just go our separate ways. And then he said, don't worry, you're attractive. You'll find someone.

01:08:01:00 - 01:08:02:01 Stephanie Oh my goodness.

01:08:02:03 - 01:08:27:21 Kate And I just those words, I was just like, I, I'll never forget that moment we were sitting in the Cheesecake Factory having dinner, like, across from each other to talk about this. And, and I just remember looking off into the light side and I'm like, did he really just say that to me? Yeah. After 12 years, like, did he really just say that to me?

01:08:28:01 - 01:08:58:10 Kate But we and we've talked about it since and he has admitted that that was just him being defensive. Right. And like detaching from the situation. but I yeah, that really struck me pretty hard that moment. But then now like so he's in a new relationship and I from what I know he's very happy. And so you know and that's what I want for him.

01:08:58:10 - 01:09:25:18 Kate Like I've always that's why I always wanted for him was to be happy. I never wanted to like cause him issues or make him unhappy. But sometimes I think that's I don't know, that's. Yeah, part of the journey and in you just were meant to be together for this amount of time and, and then things happen and that's hard to wrap your head around because like you said, if it's choice and if it's you commit, right.

01:09:25:20 - 01:09:31:03 Kate This is where it gets like complicated in the mind. Yes. So but yeah, I don't.

01:09:31:03 - 01:09:35:02 Seth Know. I mean it took me a long time way after the divorce.

01:09:35:02 - 01:09:35:10 Kate Yeah.

01:09:35:13 - 01:09:43:12 Seth Even let go. But I was on that path to being me and just saying, you know what? Me me showing up is me and authentic.

01:09:43:12 - 01:09:43:19 Kate Yeah.

01:09:43:20 - 01:09:45:12 Seth Unapologetic.

01:09:45:14 - 01:09:48:08 Kate Yeah. Right. Which is very hard. Yeah.

01:09:48:10 - 01:10:08:10 Seth That that was like medicine for me. And even through all the challenges. And you know what? Like I don't today I don't look back and judge it. Part of it is because guess what it's like in the Bible. You know, in general, Joseph, I love the story of Joseph because I feel like I lived the part of the study, you know, the part of Joseph where he's he's got the birth, right.

01:10:08:10 - 01:10:31:09 Seth He's got that sweet digging coat. Right. And and then his life just gets real tough. Wait a second. Like when God was with him the entire time. Why does God let allow? Because sometimes we need to be broken in order to be healed. Sometimes we have to allow ourselves to be broken in order for other people to be healed.

01:10:31:09 - 01:10:36:03 Seth Let's call Jesus Christ. Yeah, right. Sometimes we have to give in a healthy way again.

01:10:36:03 - 01:10:36:15 Kate Yeah.

01:10:36:17 - 01:10:51:23 Seth And I just realized, like today, I just look back and I say, wow, I would never want to go through that again. But I'm so glad I had that experience. I would I couldn't separate me from that experience so I wouldn't choose it.

01:10:52:04 - 01:10:52:16 Kate

01:10:52:18 - 01:10:54:20 Seth I see the wisdom.

01:10:54:22 - 01:10:55:08 Kate Yeah.

01:10:55:08 - 01:11:15:21 Seth Of how God has taken my life from that point. That wasn't my choice. Yeah. But even if it was, even if, even if I'd stepped out on my family and just been a real idiot, like where God's going to meet me where I am today. And if I, if I, if I just heal that right there.

01:11:15:22 - 01:11:16:17 Kate Yeah.

01:11:16:19 - 01:11:38:19 Seth Then in the, in the future I'm going to look back and I'm going to say the wisdom of God in helping me turn around my life or helping me, you know, create a family life. Like I'm going to tell you, okay. Like my happiness in my life is something me married to this incredible woman is something I'd never even dreamed that I didn't know.

01:11:38:19 - 01:11:40:20 Seth It could be this amazing.

01:11:41:01 - 01:11:41:20 Kate Wow.

01:11:41:22 - 01:12:07:06 Seth Now it's hard to me like we go to counseling because we needed it. I always said we needed. Right? But. But I can't imagine just how amazing. Well, I can't imagine where I would have been without what God brought into our lives. Right. So I don't try to figure it all out because it kind of gets entangled from our perspective.

01:12:07:06 - 01:12:08:21 Kate Yeah, yeah, for sure.

01:12:08:23 - 01:12:14:22 Seth But I just I made a decision that I was going to be me and that I was never going to turn my back on him.

01:12:15:03 - 01:12:15:19 Kate Yeah.

01:12:15:21 - 01:12:28:22 Seth And I was going to look and I said, okay, this is a bitter pill. It's a bitter pill. Jobe had a few bitter pills like a few bitter pills. Like I didn't get boils. I didn't lose everything right? I didn't fall on my children.

01:12:28:22 - 01:12:30:02 Kate Like, yeah, right.

01:12:30:03 - 01:12:35:02 Seth I had friends who still supported me like I had it. Good. Even though it was bad.

01:12:35:04 - 01:12:47:14 Kate Right. Like there's always something good you need to be grateful for, right. Yeah. What about like the, the financial side of it. Like were you always successful financially or did that come later in life.

01:12:47:16 - 01:12:56:09 Seth So I've been blessed. I've been blessed. you know, I, I became an entrepreneur 24 years ago.

01:12:56:11 - 01:12:56:21 Kate Okay.

01:12:56:21 - 01:12:58:18 Seth So I was baptized 24.

01:12:58:20 - 01:12:59:07 Kate Okay.

01:12:59:07 - 01:13:15:12 Seth 25 2425 I've been in corporate America since my teens, so I'd wrote $5 billion New York Stock exchange firms and. Wow. Since I was 15. Oh, okay. For about ten years. And then I started at the bottom. Wasn't like I was the president of the board of directors.

01:13:15:13 - 01:13:15:19 Kate Oh, my.

01:13:15:19 - 01:13:20:01 Seth God, you know what? It's it's a people. You know what? Your network. It's what we teach. I.

01:13:20:01 - 01:13:21:22 Kate Yeah, but I thought you were, like, on a farm.

01:13:22:00 - 01:13:24:16 Seth Like when I was really young. When I was really.

01:13:24:16 - 01:13:25:20

Young, where it.

01:13:25:22 - 01:13:29:15 Seth When I was seven. When I was eight, my parents moved to Provo, Utah.

01:13:29:15 - 01:13:30:02 Kate Okay.

01:13:30:02 - 01:13:36:12 Seth My dad could go to school. Right. And so I moved away from that whole. Okay, back part of my life.

01:13:36:12 - 01:13:36:22 Kate Yeah.

01:13:36:22 - 01:13:42:02 Seth Which is why I couldn't take it away from me. But then I became a city kid.

01:13:42:04 - 01:13:42:17 Kate Okay.

01:13:42:19 - 01:13:56:06 Seth Then we'd go back to the farm and, you know, brand and do all that and vacation with my grandparents. But no, I had a neighbor who who had a company. And before the company went really big, I got a job packing boxes right before the New York Stock Exchange.

01:13:56:06 - 01:13:57:06 Kate Yeah, okay.

01:13:57:11 - 01:14:12:17 Seth And I just continued, I thought I was I was a corporate kid. I was going to be there for the rest of my life until my mid 20s when I we had some health challenges in our home. And I realized what I really want to do. You know, like, I love this coming home and being a dad thing.

01:14:12:19 - 01:14:15:20 Seth What I'd really love to do is do it all the time.

01:14:15:21 - 01:14:16:12 Kate Yeah.

01:14:16:14 - 01:14:25:15 Seth Like, and this is, this is like the late 90s. So this isn't in the economy that we're in today into in 2024 where you can pull out your iPhone.

01:14:25:16 - 01:14:26:01 Kate

01:14:26:06 - 01:14:29:20 Seth And you create a social you can you can become an expert.

01:14:29:22 - 01:14:30:12 Kate Yeah. Right.

01:14:30:12 - 01:14:48:05 Seth You you share your expertise and I'm telling you you're listening to the show. You have expertise. You have a story worth telling. I'm not talking about the what you need to go do in order to be worthy of a story. You got a story right now, right? And so way before that, I just thought, could I just work at home, right, and be present?

01:14:48:05 - 01:14:55:03 Seth And guess what? Dominoes started coming into place. I started a clothing company with some friends, wedding dresses.

01:14:55:05 - 01:14:56:00 Kate Wow.

01:14:56:02 - 01:14:56:11 Seth Yeah.

01:14:56:15 - 01:14:59:06 Kate You are just full of surprises and surprises.

01:14:59:06 - 01:15:02:18 Seth Yeah. Imagine. Imagine this customer had no.

01:15:02:20 - 01:15:05:01

My goodness.

01:15:05:03 - 01:15:10:05 Seth Which then led me into the health field. I was there for a couple of years, made, made more money and never made real.

01:15:10:06 - 01:15:11:22 Kate It wasn't millions, but yeah.

01:15:11:22 - 01:15:21:19 Seth You know it for for where we were like, if you can make if you pay for all your bills. Yeah. Like this is how I looked at it. If I could pay for all my bills with a business that would let me work from home.

01:15:21:19 - 01:15:22:18 Kate Yeah.

01:15:22:20 - 01:15:28:17 Seth And invest more money that I've ever been able to invest in my life and develop myself at the same time.

01:15:28:17 - 01:15:31:21 Kate That's great. Right? Yeah. Take that. Right.

01:15:31:22 - 01:15:41:22 Seth I'll choose that door for sure. and then I had another friend call me and say, hey, listen, I want you to look into the health and wellness field. So glad I've always loved health and wellness. I was a pre-med major.

01:15:41:23 - 01:15:42:16 Kate And then turned.

01:15:42:16 - 01:15:43:13 Seth Business instead of being a.

01:15:43:13 - 01:15:44:10 Kate Doctor.

01:15:44:12 - 01:16:05:08 Seth And he's like, well, you're kind of in sales and marketing and team building, network marketing and direct selling. And I'm like, that's not me. Yeah, right. Like I don't have that skill set. But what ultimately attracted me to the profession was the result. Like, I didn't want to do the work. I didn't necessarily enjoy that. That's not.

01:16:05:08 - 01:16:05:15 Kate Okay.

01:16:05:16 - 01:16:21:03 Seth Oh, this is going to be great. I'm going to call people. Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to do some recruiting, call some sales, call some demos. with a product that I love that just sounds so fun. No like that does not that was had zero appeal to me. But what had appeal was the lifestyle.

01:16:21:05 - 01:16:21:13 Kate Right?

01:16:21:18 - 01:16:27:19 Seth Right. Like I could do what I was doing for the wedding dresses 2X3X5X ten x.

01:16:27:20 - 01:16:28:12 Kate

01:16:28:14 - 01:16:47:22 Seth Wait a second. Like that's that's what I. When I became an entrepreneur, I realized I didn't want to be a slave to my business. Yeah, right. I've had I've had my ego trips, you know, and you know, oh, you made some money. Want to buy that nice car? Right. Be seduced by success. You think it might be you?

01:16:48:00 - 01:16:50:11 Seth Fortunately, my blips have been short lived.

01:16:50:11 - 01:16:50:20 Kate Yeah.

01:16:51:01 - 01:16:54:09 Seth

01:16:54:11 - 01:16:59:18 Seth Yeah. I want to run $1 billion company so that, you know, I want to fulfill that inner desire that I'm actually worthy and.

01:16:59:18 - 01:17:01:10 Kate I'm in not. Right, right.

01:17:01:12 - 01:17:07:14 Seth But when I really got down to it, what I really want to do is be a great person and get my talents and serve people.

01:17:07:17 - 01:17:08:04 Kate Yeah.

01:17:08:04 - 01:17:31:11 Seth And make a difference and get healthy. And so we've been doing that for 22 years and stuff. And I got married, we became partners. And she's better at it than I am in many respects. But yeah, I would say for me, and I know most, most single parents can't say this. And so it's it's one of the reasons I think we feel really strongly about so many single parents and single moms we get to work with.

01:17:31:13 - 01:17:38:12 Seth Is that when I was a single dad, like the one thing I didn't have to worry about was money. Was money.

01:17:38:14 - 01:17:38:22 Kate Right?

01:17:38:22 - 01:18:00:04 Seth Yeah. Like when my kids came to me, I was 100% present. Yeah. And when they went back to their mother, I did whatever I wanted. And, you know, I had my business, but I, I'm all about. We're all about residual income. Like, what can you create today that's great longevity. What could you build today that could pay you over and over and over.

01:18:00:07 - 01:18:05:04 Kate So why do you think that's so hard for people to even believe? It's possible.

01:18:05:06 - 01:18:28:11 Seth The same reason that we grew up with crappy mindset about ourself because we heard about it. Because we live in that context, because we live in that environment, because our parents told us that way. I mean, that's like somehow, right? That's how I grew up. Somehow a friend of I had a crisis. And here's how it works. Like, you don't have time for something until you have a crisis.

01:18:28:13 - 01:18:41:22 Seth that that maybe humbles you enough to look right. I'm going to look at it now. I've been ignoring it. Right. Well, I don't need it or I don't understand it, or I'm ignorant, but you have a crisis and it's in front of you, and then you have a choice.

01:18:42:01 - 01:18:42:10 Kate

01:18:42:11 - 01:18:47:15 Seth Oh I'm going to look and I looked. Yeah. And a friend handed me a book.

01:18:47:17 - 01:18:48:23 Kate You were open.

01:18:49:01 - 01:18:56:11 Seth I became, I was closed for a long time. But the crisis made me reevaluate.

01:18:56:13 - 01:18:58:03 Kate You know, what was the bucket handed you.

01:18:58:07 - 01:19:04:05 Seth Rich dad, poor dad by Robert Kiyosaki. Yeah. And kid I hate, I hated read.

01:19:04:05 - 01:19:06:16 Kate I don't like to read. You couldn't I like to listen? Yeah.

01:19:06:17 - 01:19:08:15 Seth You couldn't give me to read books growing up.

01:19:08:15 - 01:19:08:20 Kate Like.

01:19:08:20 - 01:19:28:10 Seth Yeah, I can count maybe 1 or 2 books series. Like, I hated reading. I was out on the basketball court. I was out, you know, doing something adventurous. Yeah. I was playing football like like even in school, like, what can I do to avoid reading. Yeah. Here's how you, you know what happens when you avoid reading. You get bad grades.

01:19:28:14 - 01:19:34:16 Seth Yeah. You know, in honors English because, like, listen, I don't want to read, you know, catcher in the Rye.

01:19:34:16 - 01:19:35:22 Kate Yeah. Right.

01:19:35:23 - 01:19:43:12 Seth Right. That book changed my psyche, and I became the most voracious reader.

01:19:43:14 - 01:19:44:18 Kate Like rich dad. Poor dad.

01:19:44:20 - 01:19:45:00 Seth Yeah.

01:19:45:00 - 01:19:45:13 Kate Oh, yeah.

01:19:45:16 - 01:19:46:18 Seth Okay. Yeah. Not catcher in the Rye.

01:19:46:18 - 01:19:48:21 Kate Yeah. I'm like, just for clarity, right?

01:19:48:21 - 01:19:55:02 Seth No no no no. Yeah. No, I, I became a voracious reader because there was a point to it now.

01:19:55:02 - 01:19:55:20 Kate

01:19:55:22 - 01:20:00:14 Seth And I wanted to be if anybody read had has read Rich it's.

01:20:00:14 - 01:20:01:03 Kate A great book.

01:20:01:03 - 01:20:18:18 Seth The Cashflow Quadrant, which I thought was actually even a better book. I realized that I was in I was an employee in that quadrant. And what people don't realize is like, we you look on social today or you look in the movies, the, you know, back in the day, lives of the rich and famous.

01:20:18:18 - 01:20:19:23 Kate Yeah, right.

01:20:20:01 - 01:20:28:23 Seth And we see what those people have. And it's nice to dream about a fantasy island. Right? The plane. The plane you tour.

01:20:29:00 - 01:20:30:08 Kate I don't know what it is.

01:20:30:10 - 01:20:33:21

Know. I'm just like I've been with it. Oh, my God.

01:20:33:23 - 01:20:42:12 Seth You know, you're so courteous, right? Everybody over 48? No, this fantasy island. But,

01:20:42:14 - 01:20:43:10 Stephanie Yeah. Your age.

01:20:43:10 - 01:21:00:23 Seth What you see? Yes. I mean, I'm happy. I'm proud of. But you see people living this way. Are you. You know, maybe you're you're familiar with with neighborhoods. Yeah. There might be money, but you have a context about how they are, and they're this way where they got it this way or you completely don't even know. And you're just right.

01:21:01:01 - 01:21:06:04 Seth I mean, here's the deal. The poor and the lower middle class basically spend all their money.

01:21:06:06 - 01:21:06:21 Kate

01:21:06:23 - 01:21:08:07 Seth To subsist.

01:21:08:09 - 01:21:08:18 Kate Yeah.

01:21:08:18 - 01:21:10:14 Seth And for some entertainment.

01:21:10:16 - 01:21:11:00 Kate Yeah.

01:21:11:01 - 01:21:32:11 Seth Right. And if you grow up in that and you don't see outside of that. Right, right. You don't you might fantasize about it, you might watch it on the Travel Channel. And that trips your endorphins enough to say, well wouldn't that be nice, you know, one day. But then you go and do your job that that keeps you right?

01:21:32:13 - 01:21:32:22 Kate Yeah.

01:21:33:02 - 01:21:43:15 Seth That box. And I realized I'm going to live on the other side of that line of demarcation. I'm going to be a business owner where systems make me money.

01:21:43:21 - 01:21:44:04 Kate Yeah.

01:21:44:04 - 01:21:45:21 Seth And I'm going to be an investor.

01:21:45:23 - 01:22:06:17 Kate Yeah, yeah. I remember feeling like there's the one of my favorite phrases is there has to be a better way. Like when I feel that I'm like this, this doesn't seem right. There has to be a better way, you know? And I remember feeling like that a lot of times in my life, like school being one of them.

01:22:06:19 - 01:22:26:11 Kate I has to be a better way. Like, what are we learning? Like, yeah, I don't know. It just didn't seem like it made sense, a lot of it. And then when I found personal development books, I'm like, oh, this is great. Like, I love this. Like, I'm like, I'm learning right? Or anything. I'm like, yeah, I'm emotional intelligence and just the psychology and human behavior, like all that stuff.

01:22:26:11 - 01:22:53:11 Kate I'm like, okay, this is interesting. Yeah. Like you just think there's got to be a way that there's more. And the only way, you know that is if you get around different people. I really think because then it doesn't seem it just doesn't seem so out of reach. And then you're, I guess you develop. Yeah. Different beliefs when you're surrounded by it.

01:22:53:14 - 01:22:54:13 Seth Yeah. Change your circle.

01:22:54:13 - 01:23:18:07 Kate Yeah. I mean, like, I hardly watch TV anymore. I'm like, there's what's the point of it? You know, because we I'm so busy doing other things that I enjoy. And there's nothing wrong with TV. I'm not saying that. Like, I think it's fine for entertainment, like, but it shouldn't be. It's very easy for people to just, like, get lost in that, get sucked in.

01:23:18:08 - 01:23:29:16 Kate Yeah. Yeah. So. Oh wow. Well you just I yeah. This is getting good. I don't know what Seth did there when he was like making me cry. But that was.

01:23:29:16 - 01:23:30:13 Stephanie Weird.

01:23:30:15 - 01:23:55:14 Kate Yeah. No this has been great. I'm like I, I feel I hope that what this does is just allows people this episode specifically to see. That doesn't matter what you're going through. Like, you, your life can look so great, you know, and it's you have to go through certain things. It's just part of what what do people say?

01:23:55:14 - 01:24:09:07 Kate It's like it's either a blessing or a lesson and like, that's it. You know, that's life. So no, it's been great to get to know you guys. Warren, I'm so glad we finally did this podcast. So.

01:24:09:09 - 01:24:13:07 Seth And cut. It's a wrap.

01:24:13:09 - 01:24:28:09 Stephanie Thank you so much for being here today. And thank you for sharing this episode with that one friend who needs this conversation. Thank you for all the ratings, the reviews, the comments, and especially the support. We so appreciate you.

01:24:28:11 - 01:24:42:10 Seth Now, if you want to take a peek behind the curtain and be the first to know about special previews, backstage updates here at the show, and especially some private collection content that doesn't come out in the regular show.

01:24:42:12 - 01:24:47:10 Stephanie Be sure to join our VIP community at the Forever Young show.com.