00:00:05:00 - 00:00:06:18
Stephanie
Hi, I'm Stephanie.

00:00:06:20 - 00:00:19:08
Seth
I'm Seth. And this is the Forever Young Show. The most powerful force in this world is a woman who knows who she is, why she is here, and what she wants to accomplish.

00:00:19:10 - 00:00:26:12
Stephanie
And that's where self-care comes in. As a woman, it is my opportunity and my responsibility to take care of me.

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Seth
Self-care for your mind.

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Stephanie
Self-care for your body.

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Seth
Self-care for your money.

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Stephanie
Our mission is to serve women as they fulfill their irreplaceable roles in families, society, business, the fabric of humanity.

00:00:40:17 - 00:01:03:01
Seth
So let's get this show on the road. We are excited, babe. I'm excited. And I'm excited for everybody who's listening and watching because this is a new beginning in life. And you and I can say this and we'll let everybody know why this is important to us. But life's about new beginnings. And I heard a quote recently that goes something like this.

00:01:03:03 - 00:01:34:10
Seth
You can say one day or day, one one day or day one, and this is day one. This is day one for us, starting something that's been on our minds for a while. Super important. This podcast, because this podcast is dedicated to women and even beyond simply sharing this, having some experiences and the interviews, we're actually starting something that we hope is much bigger than any one of us, much bigger than just a podcast or only a podcast.

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Seth
We're here because we think that together we can create a movement.

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Stephanie
So like Seth said, we are to make an impact on the world, to make it a better place. And one of the most powerful ways that we can make a positive impact on our world or in our world is to serve the amazing women in this world. If you're interested in self-care, this is for you.

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Seth
If you're into or interested in emotional resiliency, this is for you.

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Stephanie
If you're into physical vitality and longevity, this is for you.

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Seth
If you're into financial literacy, entrepreneurship, owning your life, this is for you.

00:02:11:01 - 00:02:18:20
Stephanie
If you're into being you, even if that's different than anybody else, if you're willing to be labeled as a rebel, this is for you.

00:02:18:22 - 00:02:32:15
Seth
That is you. And if you've got spunk, tenacity, and a healthy dose of sass, I'm even going to call it a holy sass. Amen. This is definitely for you.

00:02:32:17 - 00:02:35:14
Stephanie
What does that mean, Seth?

00:02:35:15 - 00:03:00:10
Seth
It's kind of an inside story because I was I was giving a sermon recently, and I was speaking in a congregation, and Stephanie happened to be there because she's incredibly supportive. Two of our daughters were with her, and I was talking about one of our daughters and how she had confidence and some sass. And I said, well, now it's a holy sass.

00:03:00:12 - 00:03:01:16
Seth
But it's true.

00:03:01:18 - 00:03:07:18
Stephanie
Definitely. It's definitely true. I just didn't expect it over the pulpit.

00:03:07:19 - 00:03:35:08
Seth
That's the way we roll. So we're going to be inviting amazing women from around the world. We professionally and really, I think in our ministry are in contact with amazing women from all around the world. It just said on these notes, I said, cue get emotional.

00:03:35:10 - 00:03:36:16
Stephanie
So I'm just.

00:03:36:18 - 00:04:01:12
Seth
Following the cues, their stories, their experiences, their triumphs, their failures. We all have them. We're going to be interviewing. We're going to be diving into those and they're going to be inspiration for you. They're going to be education for you. It's going to be life changing. And we're going to make it. We're going to do it together as a community.

00:04:01:14 - 00:04:14:00
Stephanie
Do you know stuff we've been saying? We're going to start this podcast for a while. We've been saying one day. We're excited to be with you because it's day one.

00:04:14:02 - 00:04:28:21
Seth
It is day one. Let's get it on. So keep in mind, we're going to keep this real and raw. And that means that we're not going to be perfect because we're not perfect. Amen. Stephanie, Stephanie's lived with me long enough to know. Amen to that.

00:04:29:02 - 00:04:32:08
Stephanie
I was saying it for myself.

00:04:32:10 - 00:04:51:17
Seth
But we're going to get emotional. We hope there's going to be a lot of crying here because that can be cathartic. It can be healing. You've taught me that. Hey. Hey, man. Over there. It's okay to cry. We're going to be laughing a whole lot because we would not be having fun if we weren't laughing. And it wouldn't be true to Stephanie if if we weren't laughing.

00:04:51:17 - 00:05:15:22
Seth
There probably going to be some holy sass and some downright correction because, you know, we're imperfect people, so we're going to invite you along this journey with imperfect people who are seeking perfection, whether we're wherever get there, certainly won't get there on our own, but God willing, we'll all get there. So we're going to keep it real and raw and have some fun.

00:05:16:00 - 00:05:20:23
Seth
I have a tendency to not have a difficulty talking.

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Stephanie
Amen.

00:05:21:16 - 00:05:35:02
Seth
Because God has put so much inside of me and I just want to get it out there. And sometimes I tend to to take some of Stephanie's. Well, I just don't stop. We're going to be learning together.

00:05:35:06 - 00:05:37:07
Stephanie
I was going to say, you're learning. You're doing better.

00:05:37:08 - 00:06:02:06
Seth
I am doing better. Like for the last three days, I have been doing better. More than three days, more than I can, three and a half. But we're going to be meet with some amazing women and we're going to be diving into these topics of health and vitality and longevity. Women from all walks of life and and women who absolutely have a story.

00:06:02:08 - 00:06:07:18
Seth
I have a story to tell. And you need to hear that story. And that's what this community is all about, right?

00:06:07:20 - 00:06:08:12
Stephanie
Amen.

00:06:08:14 - 00:06:33:20
Seth
We are excited to introduce you to one of these powerful, amazing women who has a story to tell and experiences to tell. And it was my bright idea, actually, to reach out to this woman. We want to bring her on stage right now. But up and there she is. When I said we've been talking about this again one day for a while and I've had some great ideas.

00:06:33:20 - 00:06:51:16
Seth
We have people we are already, you know, moving forward to and talking about interviewing and this amazing podcast, this movement. But when I said I know who needs to be the first, the first woman on this podcast, it needs to be you. What were you thinking?

00:06:51:18 - 00:07:13:04
Stephanie
Wait, me? Yeah, you. I thought. I thought we were just going to jump in and interview all these other amazing women. And so I think I was taken aback by how excited you were to interview me. You know, it made me start thinking about, Whoa, what in my life does he want to share with other people?

00:07:13:06 - 00:07:38:10
Seth
I'm pretty open. You know, sometimes I might share too much, but I really feel strongly about this work that we're doing, you know, professionally in our mainline business. You know, in our ministry, we seek to bless people in our ministry, in the business world and our ministry. And we're going to get to Africa. We but I just I have a heart for women, you know?

00:07:38:14 - 00:08:10:00
Seth
I have a heart for you, babe. You have to understand context, right? You have to stay in contact. You just can't take everything you know, You can't miss misinterpret that. Okay, stop. Right. My mom was a single mom growing up. Most of the coworkers I worked with growing up and a lot of the mentors I've had in entrepreneurial field have been women and then I met you, and my life changed again.

00:08:10:02 - 00:08:32:06
Seth
And the mentorship and the coaching that you've given me and the strength I. There are a lot of amazing women out there that that you and I are teamed up to, to serve, to work with. You know, as much as we might say mentor and coach. It's it's we're all getting in the in the ground level, you know, in the trenches.

00:08:32:08 - 00:08:33:23
Stephanie
Locking arms, rubbing shoulders.

00:08:34:03 - 00:08:35:06
Seth
Yeah.

00:08:35:08 - 00:08:36:02
Stephanie
Helping each other.

00:08:36:06 - 00:08:45:02
Seth
Yeah. So but I couldn't think of anybody, honestly, that I would rather start this whole day. One off, a new babe.

00:08:45:03 - 00:08:45:19
Stephanie
Thank you.

00:08:45:21 - 00:09:15:02
Seth
And I know. And I think it's really important for the for the our listeners and our community that as we jump into this again. I'm kind of I'm already changing because I know that I'm going to be saying plenty of things. I want to everybody understand your perspective in your context. You know, this doesn't happen without you. And so I just I'm like, I'm so I'm so proud to to be your husband, honestly, and your business partner.

00:09:15:07 - 00:09:28:21
Seth
So, like, right now, wherever you are right now, do a little do a little dance or like, get some emotion or a fist pump or a yeah, or whatever, whatever you do just to kind of join us on this movement.

00:09:28:23 - 00:09:31:14
Stephanie
Eat some chocolate.

00:09:31:16 - 00:09:45:23
Seth
All right, everybody eat some chocolate. And I'm one who can understand chocolate because, in fact, I think just a little funny story. So when we're dating chocolate, walk us through the chocolate thing, because I am you know, I enjoy good chocolate.

00:09:46:01 - 00:09:59:08
Stephanie
now, Seth doesn't eat chocolate all the time, but when he does eat chocolate, he puts it away. But our second day, he brought some Haagen-Dazs and it was just the two of us. And he brought like at least six bars or more.

00:09:59:08 - 00:10:01:03
Seth
It was a full box. Six. Six bars? Yes.

00:10:01:06 - 00:10:01:22
Stephanie
Two boxes.

00:10:01:22 - 00:10:03:11
Seth
Honey. was it two by two?

00:10:03:13 - 00:10:06:01
Stephanie
I think they might have been a four count.

00:10:06:03 - 00:10:06:16
Seth
Out or.

00:10:06:16 - 00:10:21:01
Stephanie
Six count. So he, you know, put probably three away that night. And then I think one he let me keep the rest, which, you know, brownie points, chocolate points. I think you're referring to the candy bar one where I am.

00:10:21:05 - 00:10:22:18
Seth
I had forgotten about the Haagen-Dazs.

00:10:22:18 - 00:10:45:02
Stephanie
Yeah. So he, one night when I was single, mom, he, he came to my house and I was putting my two kids to bed. I didn't have to meet him until I knew we were serious. Thought that was a big deal to me. And so he brought some chocolate and he was waiting out in the truck. He was on a phone call and I hop in the truck and I'm just waiting for him.

00:10:45:02 - 00:11:02:02
Stephanie
And he like whispers to me and like, shows me this chocolate. Hey, honey, do you want some chocolate? And I was like, You know what? I'll probably have some later. Angela's like, Okay, Well, he took that as liberty as I can eat all the chocolate tonight right now. And he did this year.

00:11:02:04 - 00:11:09:19
Seth
Fortunately. And date number two, I had already I had chocolate points in the bank, so I was just going to make a withdrawal.

00:11:10:01 - 00:11:13:01
Stephanie
You know, you already made a withdrawal.

00:11:13:03 - 00:11:23:21
Seth
We might get to that story. We might get to that story. So just so everybody understands these, like, I don't I don't typically mess around with the small bombs. Right. This was good chocolate. I remember what brand it was, but it was it.

00:11:23:21 - 00:11:25:01
Stephanie
Was definitely quality.

00:11:25:01 - 00:11:30:04
Seth
It was quality. Chuck was like the kick, like the bigger than king size. Like it was big. I don't know.

00:11:30:07 - 00:11:30:23
Stephanie
I don't know about that.

00:11:30:23 - 00:11:41:00
Seth
I only remember as multiple bars and eating a lot of chocolate and then you staring at me as you came back from talking to kids in through the window like I didn't know you were there. And I was just, like, enjoying eating the sugar. That's how I remember it.

00:11:41:02 - 00:11:42:04
Stephanie
It's not.

00:11:42:06 - 00:11:44:12
Seth
I think you were pretty much.

00:11:44:14 - 00:11:52:00
Stephanie
Like it was already in the truck. I was trying to be quiet and just like, if you really eating my chocolate.

00:11:52:02 - 00:12:12:06
Seth
She said later, What does that mean? And what I found with you, honestly, it's like, Well, we'll buy chocolate or I'll buy chocolate. And I feel like, you know, we share so many things, right? We often share meals and I but I feel like my chocolate appetite most of time is bigger than your chocolate appetite. And so sharing a king sized bottle.

00:12:12:06 - 00:12:12:12
Stephanie
About.

00:12:12:12 - 00:12:34:05
Seth
That. So I always feel like, okay, if we buy one, then like we're spending and half and half, I get that. But then I kind of feel like I have to buy an extra one for me. But then it's like, do we have to split the extra one? Because you tend to save things until until they oxidize because you like, you do a one square at a time and I do one bar at a time.

00:12:34:07 - 00:12:37:01
Seth
So I'm, I'm still figuring that we don't have it all figured out.

00:12:37:01 - 00:12:46:02
Stephanie
So I guess because my body can't handle a ton at once anymore. Yeah. So, and I like to say I like to enjoy it slowly, whereas you're like, give me all the chocolate. I love.

00:12:46:02 - 00:12:48:15
Seth
To savor it.

00:12:48:17 - 00:12:49:20
Stephanie
In that moment.

00:12:50:00 - 00:13:08:17
Seth
Yes. I mean, very much in the moment. So anyway, I couldn't think of a better way and I'm just excited for us to start this. And so I hope you are all excited and I hope you will make a habit of, I think, pulling out a chocolate bar like kick off your shoes, not if you're driving, but enjoy chocolate bar.

00:13:08:17 - 00:13:13:14
Seth
And let's let's just talk. All right. Stephanie Molder, who is Stephanie Molder?

00:13:13:16 - 00:13:24:10
Stephanie
That's a big question. I mean, I'm going to be 40 tomorrow, so that's like that's a lot. Can you get more specific and a detail oriented person?

00:13:24:10 - 00:13:51:18
Seth
So you are one of the first thing? Well, this has nothing to do with details but you telling me who you are. Remember when when we met nine years ago this year. Right. And you're like, Hi, I'm Stephanie, and I like bold colors. I'm in for something here, so thanks for telling me where you are. So tell us, you know, Stephanie, a little about maybe where you came from, youth, childhood, where you grew up, kind of a thing.

00:13:51:18 - 00:13:52:04
Seth
Family.

00:13:52:09 - 00:14:21:02
Stephanie
I was born and pretty much raised in Arizona. Sometimes I refer to this how because there is a very hot there. I am the third of seven daughters, no brothers. Yeah, I think of all the emotions and hormones that come with that. You know, even when I was I was before I was 12 for sure, we lived in I believe it's 900 square feet.

00:14:21:04 - 00:14:26:17
Stephanie
Luckily, it was on the property of my grandparents so we could run around. Otherwise we all probably would have died.

00:14:26:19 - 00:14:28:14
Seth
A 900 square foot home?

00:14:28:17 - 00:14:34:00
Stephanie
Yes, with nine of us. My youngest sister was was just born recently before that.

00:14:34:02 - 00:14:36:12
Seth
That's old school. That's doing it. Old school?

00:14:36:14 - 00:15:03:01
Stephanie
Yup. Frequently would. I don't know if I should share this frequently with your my dad be like, because he, you know, you'd find hairs that you probably shouldn't find long. I can't believe I'm sure that just just I mean, with that many girls, you know, eight of us, there's a lot of hairs and hormones going on here.

00:15:03:03 - 00:15:16:01
Seth
And that that actually, you know, I appreciate brainstorming, baby. Maybe we're going to call this podcast Hairs and Hormones that, if you like that just kind of send us a comment.

00:15:16:03 - 00:15:19:02
Stephanie
And it's.

00:15:19:04 - 00:15:21:00
Seth
So six six sisters.

00:15:21:02 - 00:15:21:15
Stephanie
Yes.

00:15:21:18 - 00:15:23:14
Seth
So you're that your number and where do you fit in?

00:15:23:14 - 00:15:25:02
Stephanie
Number three.

00:15:25:04 - 00:15:32:19
Seth
What were you like when you were growing up? Man, I wish I was. I wish I was like that little Dennis the Menace Kit Well, not really. I don't want to ruin it. But you.

00:15:32:21 - 00:15:34:09
Stephanie
Yeah.

00:15:34:11 - 00:15:45:07
Seth
I guess maybe someday in the next, you know, in the next part of our existence in life, I'll get to look back at all the. The, you know, the heavenly videotape. Yeah, right. Of all those things that you did.

00:15:45:07 - 00:15:57:01
Stephanie
But we can ask your mom. Maybe you were like, Dennis that night. I would. I like to call a Tom girl I love, you know.

00:15:57:02 - 00:15:58:11
Seth
Tom boy or Tom girl?

00:15:58:13 - 00:15:59:06
Stephanie
Tom girl.

00:15:59:07 - 00:16:00:18
Seth
Okay. I don't even know. Yeah.

00:16:00:20 - 00:16:07:10
Stephanie
I it Tom girl is more of somebody who likes to do things that are typically labeled for boys.

00:16:07:10 - 00:16:08:05
Seth
Can.

00:16:08:07 - 00:16:26:16
Stephanie
Be an outside outdoorsy, you know, not not afraid of dirt or hard work, enjoying all those those fun things. But also, you know, I enjoy getting dressed up here and there or, you know, doing girl things, too. So Tom Boy just seemed a little too boy for me. So. Tom Girl, it's got healthy balance.

00:16:26:18 - 00:16:33:01
Seth
And putting that in my my lexicon, I did not I didn't realize the difference. So glad to know. Thank you.

00:16:33:01 - 00:16:35:19
Stephanie
It's actually made up word that I heard from my Aunt Kim.

00:16:36:01 - 00:16:36:11
Seth
I okay.

00:16:36:11 - 00:16:51:17
Stephanie
Sister. And I was like, my goodness, you know that I love it. That's me. So shout out to her. Yeah. So I love just exploring outside being the nature I love, you know, getting dirty, just having fun outside.

00:16:51:19 - 00:17:12:05
Seth
What about what do you remember about your schooling? Exclusive big. A big subject for people. Well, let's call it education, because there's different ways that people school. I think education, you know, whether you're homeschooled or, you know, a charter school or private school or, you know, Catholic school or church school, whatever, you know. But what was your education like?

00:17:12:07 - 00:17:39:05
Stephanie
So my education as far as my childhood, I honestly don't remember a ton. I do remember some things in there. So I do remember that my parents were really big into education. It was very important to them. It wasn't, what's the closest school is a good enough for my children. It was, Where are the best schools? A lot of times we would need to drive 2030 minutes each way just to go there.

00:17:39:09 - 00:17:54:23
Stephanie
And a lot of people thought we were crazy because there were plenty of schools between our home and and where we were receiving our education. My parents were also not afraid to pull us out of that school and send us to another school if it wasn't meeting our needs or giving us the education that they felt was appropriate.

00:17:54:23 - 00:18:05:06
Stephanie
I came from a very patriotic parents, God family country. That was a common theme between all the schools, and it's honestly a part of who I am now. I have a great love for this country.

00:18:05:06 - 00:18:25:12
Seth
You are very we can call it patriot patriotic, right? Sometimes, you know, there's a lot of that's kind of a hot topic. Right? And you might people have a certain construct. What is patriotism? Is it just flag waving or whatever. But but yeah, you you are, you definitely love your country. And the principal saying.

00:18:25:17 - 00:18:40:21
Stephanie
Principles I love, you know, just the whole foundation of the country and I have a lot of respects appreciate and admire those who have given so much to keep our lands free. And thank you. Thank you for your service.

00:18:40:23 - 00:19:08:10
Seth
We and we have family members. We have a son in in the armed forces, in the military, and that's his career. And I remember as as you and I were getting to know each other, you made it a point when you see people who've made contribution, particularly in the military, you know, 85 year old man or whatever, in awareness, you know, US Marine Corps had or Vietnam vet had or whatever.

00:19:08:10 - 00:19:11:03
Seth
Right. That what do you usually do Like.

00:19:11:05 - 00:19:31:01
Stephanie
I, I try to approach them gently because a lot of them actually if you come up to them too fast, it can start with them. I've learned that and sometimes I'll extend my hand and I'll just say thank you. I look in their eyes, you know, and my granddad taught me that, you know, to give respect, to look them in the eyes and and say, thank you for your service.

00:19:31:05 - 00:19:40:20
Stephanie
I've also had a lot of great conversations with those gentlemen because they were taken aback by my gratitude.

00:19:40:22 - 00:20:00:16
Seth
Just a little moment of silence. That's awesome. Anybody? So many relationships when you're growing up, you know, you you know that that if I if you asked me who's somebody from your past in your family, potentially that's made a great impact. You know who I'm going to say?

00:20:00:18 - 00:20:05:20
Stephanie
yes, Grandpa, just.

00:20:05:22 - 00:20:16:12
Seth
Yeah, my grandma, my grandparents and my granddad. And again, there's so many people. Where do you start?

00:20:16:14 - 00:20:18:17
Stephanie
You don't know.

00:20:18:19 - 00:20:43:02
Seth
That's right. So this tremendous, tremendous, you know, respect and love and gratitude for those relationships. And when I get to the other side of those are, you know, I hope that they're waiting for me there. What about you? Who is somebody? Let's just say somebody passed. Well, I don't know who somebody that's deceased that has made a huge impact in your life that you can't wait to see on the other side.

00:20:43:06 - 00:20:45:22
Seth
We'll just dive right into one of these really spiritual questions.

00:20:45:22 - 00:21:03:06
Stephanie
That I you know, I would probably say my grandparents I saw I have one grandmother who is alive and I have always loved and adored her grandma. Peggy, I know you said deceased, but I thought I'd throw that out there, too. In fact.

00:21:03:08 - 00:21:06:12
Seth
Remember the whole rebel thing doing thing your own way?

00:21:06:17 - 00:21:07:07
Stephanie
Yeah.

00:21:07:09 - 00:21:11:02
Seth
Yeah, that's good. That's good. This is your podcast.

00:21:11:04 - 00:21:39:16
Stephanie
It's ours. So she's definitely somebody who has always made an impact to my whole life. In fact, when I was young and married at one time, we went to her house and she's like, Stephanie, I found this picture and I want you to see it. It reminded me of you. So we pulled it out and I was dumbfounded how much it looked like it was me in my youth and I was so excited, so excited to age, hopefully gracefully.

00:21:39:21 - 00:22:05:00
Stephanie
But to be as beautiful as she is, you know, as I was really excited about that, she's always been someone who is super fun. She loves to laugh, she loves her her chocolate or her her goodies. She loves people. You know, she has a big heart. Her home is always open to others. And she is frequently found, you know, cooking or serving or doing something for others.

00:22:05:00 - 00:22:08:06
Stephanie
And that's made a big impact on who I am.

00:22:08:07 - 00:22:14:06
Seth
I feel like we talk about your grandma. We talked about you like this.

00:22:14:06 - 00:22:15:01
Stephanie
Is.

00:22:15:01 - 00:22:17:16
Seth
Like, check the boxes.

00:22:17:18 - 00:22:26:02
Stephanie
Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's been passed down to my mom who was just like that too. And now to me to pass that on to our children.

00:22:26:04 - 00:22:30:00
Seth
Just a really quick jumping back to education. How did you do in school?

00:22:30:02 - 00:22:54:16
Stephanie
I was horrible at school. I hated school. In fact, when you just brought it up, I'm like, Really? We're going to go there? Yeah, I didn't like it. I wasn't very good. You know, I I've never been diagnosed with anything, but, you know, I've been told that maybe I have ADHD or ADT or learning disabilities, and a part of me, the Rebel in Me is like, that's a big.

00:22:54:16 - 00:22:56:09
Seth
Part, actually.

00:22:56:11 - 00:23:14:00
Stephanie
You know, pushing it off. And, you know, as I've gotten older, it doesn't really matter because I am who I am and I love who I am. I'm becoming more of who I want to be. And so for me, it's like I'm not going to give myself a label. I'm just going to keep trying to learn and grow and become a better version of me.

00:23:14:00 - 00:23:25:05
Seth
So you also had some pretty tremendous challenges, what, in like middle school you got the education thing and then you've got a you have a health.

00:23:25:07 - 00:23:25:22
Stephanie
Yes.

00:23:26:01 - 00:23:27:02
Seth
Health crisis.

00:23:27:07 - 00:23:51:20
Stephanie
I did have some health issues. So I looking back from what I remember is to specifically in like a moment was we were on vacation. I was with my sisters and my parents. We had two different rooms and they were kind of down the hall from each other and we were being cute little kids. Well, I thought we were being cute and, you know, just running back and forth, kind of playing tag and whatnot and trying to go in a room and shut the door before they could get you.

00:23:51:20 - 00:24:14:12
Stephanie
And I just remember doing that, like running as fast as I could and shutting the door. And all of a sudden, I, I could tell I was going to block out. And so I was like, I told myself to drop to the ground before I fell over. And it just lasted for a second or two. And that became really concerning to my parents, obviously, and to some other things.

00:24:14:12 - 00:24:35:15
Stephanie
And so we were just trying to figure out what was going on. You know, I had some fatigue and pain and lack of motivation and different things. And we ended up going to several different doctors, you know, asking a lot of questions, doing bloodwork, getting an MRI done and during that, they actually found a benign cyst behind my left eye in the left lobe of my brain.

00:24:35:17 - 00:24:40:05
Stephanie
That was kind of scary because we weren't sure if it was cancerous or not. For a while.

00:24:40:06 - 00:24:42:20
Seth
And then you're you're in eighth grade at this point. So you're.

00:24:42:20 - 00:24:44:22
Stephanie
Yes, I was eighth grade.

00:24:45:00 - 00:24:45:11
Seth
12.

00:24:45:11 - 00:24:54:13
Stephanie
Third leave at the seventh or eighth grade 14. Okay. I was probably a little older. I actually was held back in second grade. And so I'm I'm older in my class.

00:24:54:16 - 00:25:01:22
Seth
Because you wanted to play. There's more. There's more chocolate. There's more chocolate for second graders in the third grade, as we all know, that.

00:25:02:00 - 00:25:26:01
Stephanie
Probably I actually wasn't a huge chocolate lover then, so it's probably candy. We just kept, you know, doing different things. And and back then it was actually very uncommon. But I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, Epstein-Barr virus. And so we asked the doctors, you know, what what can I do? What can I do to help come away from this?

00:25:26:01 - 00:25:52:18
Stephanie
Because I started sleeping 4 hours a day. For example, in eighth grade, I would go to school and I would come home and I would sleep for, you know, a few hours or so. I would eat some dinner. And then I was exhausted again, but I would go back to sleep to the point where I couldn't really get my studies done very much and almost flunked eighth grade by the grace of God and some some good friends and teachers by I passed.

00:25:52:23 - 00:26:12:16
Stephanie
But it was very difficult, you know, not having the energy that I needed, having an extreme pain, you know, in my muscles all the way down to my bones. The doctors, they essentially said, no, there's not much you can do. Just, you know, go live your best life. And I'm like, wait, what? At least from what I remember, you know, I was very surprised.

00:26:12:16 - 00:26:21:16
Stephanie
So they said, you know, you might want to get scanned again, you know, for the the nine cyst in your brain. But other than that, it's not much we can do for you.

00:26:21:18 - 00:26:25:04
Seth
So how long did this Like what was that like? Do you remember any of the emotions?

00:26:25:09 - 00:26:48:22
Stephanie
I don't remember a ton. I do remember being frustrated and sad and it was really disappointing to hear, you know, here I'm this eighth grader and these medical professionals, you know, you think they know everything. You expect them to help you and you know, I finally got a diagnosis, which was fabulous. You know, it's a great start, but it felt more like an end then.

00:26:48:22 - 00:26:49:23
Stephanie
It was a start.

00:26:50:01 - 00:26:51:09
Seth
And there was no treatment then.

00:26:51:11 - 00:27:02:07
Stephanie
No, no, they didn't have any treatment, you know, except for the normal. Be healthy, eat well, exercise, get rest. I was doing that.

00:27:02:09 - 00:27:04:22
Seth
So what happened? Where did you go from there?

00:27:05:00 - 00:27:14:14
Stephanie
I just was me, you know, Didn't really do anything for years and years trying to be a kid, enjoy life, be positive, you know?

00:27:14:16 - 00:27:17:18
Seth
Did the symptoms change over time or.

00:27:17:19 - 00:27:27:22
Stephanie
Several years later, it went into remission, but that was like in young adulthood. I mean, it was there. It might have like ebbed and flowed. How bad? But yeah, it was difficult.

00:27:28:00 - 00:27:29:15
Seth
Something you still live with today?

00:27:29:17 - 00:27:46:14
Stephanie
Yes, I do. I do. With Epstein-Barr virus as far as I have come to find out, you know, through studies or talking to doctors or other people that I can go into dormancy and it can come out of dormancy. And so, yeah, I've been working on that.

00:27:46:15 - 00:27:50:15
Seth
So let's talk about 18.

00:27:50:17 - 00:27:53:09
Stephanie
Okay.

00:27:53:11 - 00:27:55:17
Seth
You you get married?

00:27:55:19 - 00:27:56:11
Stephanie
Yes.

00:27:56:17 - 00:28:04:19
Seth
Just kind of take us to that point in your life and. Okay, I want to talk about motherhood, but. Okay. But you get married at 18.

00:28:04:19 - 00:28:09:16
Stephanie
And so I got married too young.

00:28:09:18 - 00:28:11:19
Seth
Why do you say that? Why do you say that?

00:28:11:21 - 00:28:33:12
Stephanie
Just because I didn't really have the knowledge and experience to pick the best suitor for me. You know, I definitely at that time I thought I was making the right decision. I don't necessarily regret it because I have. It's part of who I am. Yeah, but it definitely came with some some big obstacles and difficult things to go through.

00:28:33:14 - 00:29:04:18
Stephanie
However, I grew through those too. So yeah, I was two weeks before my 19th birthday and got married, was happy. We actually, without going into too many details, but we actually ended up having issues on our honeymoon. Actually, I'm sorry. Even before that, the day of our wedding, we had some issues and I was like, Whoa. But being young and naive, I don't really think much more beyond that moment and not really recognizing how it could also kind of predict my future.

00:29:04:19 - 00:29:10:17
Stephanie
And then we had issues on our honeymoon, too, that were very difficult. You know, nobody wants to fight on their honeymoon.

00:29:10:18 - 00:29:11:03
Seth
Yeah.

00:29:11:07 - 00:29:14:05
Stephanie
To be a time of joy and foundation.

00:29:14:07 - 00:29:21:08
Seth
We we talked about you. We talk about me. Surprise, surprise.

00:29:21:10 - 00:29:22:21
Stephanie
Yeah. Yeah.

00:29:22:23 - 00:29:30:00
Seth
So, but I mean, you've been saying that you and I've been married almost nine years. This year, and marriage is challenging, right?

00:29:30:00 - 00:29:30:21
Stephanie
Yes, It's hard.

00:29:31:00 - 00:29:36:06
Seth
It's not like, you know, we you and I haven't had our issues. I mean, you know.

00:29:36:09 - 00:29:37:01
Stephanie
To that degree.

00:29:37:01 - 00:29:51:03
Seth
No, no, no, that's true. That's true. But, you know, understanding that, hey, just because you have issues isn't isn't it doesn't mean necessarily something's wrong or something's wrong or something's wrong with a relationship.

00:29:51:08 - 00:30:08:04
Stephanie
And anybody who says that they don't have issues or somebody else doesn't have issues, they're lying. Or they don't recognize that because every single marriage is going to have some type of stuff to go through and to grow through, you know, to help each other and to help connect people. So it's a part of marriage.

00:30:08:06 - 00:30:28:12
Seth
Sometimes I think about our marriage and just how I feel. It's an amazing blessing. It is just an amazing, amazing relationship. And every once in a while you remind me. But yeah, remember when you had this issue and I'm like, as sucked. It's like, I didn't do.

00:30:28:12 - 00:30:30:13
Stephanie
That.

00:30:30:15 - 00:30:37:09
Seth
I wouldn't have said that. But I mean, you know, like, I haven't been crazy bad, stupid.

00:30:37:10 - 00:30:41:05
Stephanie
Yeah. Just. You wouldn't be married if you were.

00:30:41:07 - 00:30:44:18
Seth
Normal, bad, stupid. You know, just just the just the ups and downs being.

00:30:44:20 - 00:30:45:06
Stephanie
Human.

00:30:45:10 - 00:31:02:09
Seth
And. Yeah, and, you know, past life, we'll probably get into remarriage and whatnot in a bit, but I don't know, I just, I think about how we all have these challenges. We can overcome them and I just laugh sometimes. I think I really do that. Did you really do that?

00:31:02:09 - 00:31:06:02
Stephanie
Yeah. Yeah, I definitely put me in that category too.

00:31:06:04 - 00:31:08:01
Seth
Did you want to or did you also want to be a mom?

00:31:08:03 - 00:31:19:16
Stephanie
Absolutely. I was. I had a few dreams since childhood. That idea, remember, since I was very young, one was to be a model.

00:31:19:18 - 00:31:23:06
Seth
Hey, baby.

00:31:23:08 - 00:31:43:02
Stephanie
You know, looking at the industry, I'm so glad I did that. And the other one was to be a mother and a wife and, you know, to serve them and to serve God in that way. And I was one of the big family. And I was so excited, so excited to be a mother.

00:31:43:04 - 00:31:46:12
Seth
So you get married and you become a mother?

00:31:46:14 - 00:31:50:10
Stephanie
Yes. A few months before I turned 21, I had my first child.

00:31:50:12 - 00:31:56:14
Seth
You married for three years nearly. no. Two years.

00:31:56:14 - 00:31:57:10
Stephanie
To two.

00:31:57:10 - 00:31:59:13
Seth
Years. Okay. Yeah. You become a.

00:31:59:13 - 00:32:22:07
Stephanie
Mom? Yes. I'm one of those odd women that love being pregnant. Like, I absolutely love it. And so that just. Just that feeling of creating a human being from scratch in your body and, you know, you're just giving life and that that baby is going to be a part of your life forever. You know, you just have that connection.

00:32:22:07 - 00:32:33:05
Stephanie
And the more I learned, actually about the process of pregnancy, the more I love it. And I just am in awe of of it all and what our bodies are created to do.

00:32:33:07 - 00:32:49:14
Seth
Speaking about this in intense, if you will, this focused love of pregnancy and the creation process, you actually have interest in participating in that like professionally, right? You want.

00:32:49:14 - 00:33:13:05
Stephanie
To. yes. I've after experiencing that myself and the more I learned about the body, you know how amazing it is and just the joy that I get from being pregnant and seeing other women, especially those close to me that are pregnant and just watching, you know, their bellies grow and get to see and feel the baby's kicking and just having that connection for a good number of years.

00:33:13:05 - 00:33:21:22
Stephanie
Now, I've wanted to either be a labor and delivery nurse or a midwife, you know, I've I've lean more towards midwifery or even possibly just being a Dula first.

00:33:22:00 - 00:33:22:11
Seth
I do.

00:33:22:11 - 00:33:25:06
Stephanie
What do I do?

00:33:25:11 - 00:33:41:14
Seth
Well, I do love, I'm sure a lot of women. No, no that no, I don't think you're saying it wrong. Like I'm the man here in the conversation. I'm like, What? Right. And I've heard you say, do love before. Yeah, but maybe not everybody might not know what a dula is.

00:33:41:16 - 00:34:04:00
Stephanie
So a Dula I've actually never had one because my labors are so fast that I've been told I don't need one. But they're there to help take care of you during your labor and delivery. They actually have postpartum do lists now too, that can help you transition with that baby and just your body helping you to heal. So the one during labor and delivery is there to support you.

00:34:04:05 - 00:34:21:13
Stephanie
They have different techniques that they can help you with to help ease the pain or discomfort while you're in labor. They also are an advocate for you. So you're in the hospital because you can have a do at home birth, you know, in a in a midwifery clinic or at the hospital. And they are there to advocate for you.

00:34:21:13 - 00:34:27:23
Stephanie
So they get to know kind of what your wants are for your pregnancy or your delivery plan. They just help assist you.

00:34:28:01 - 00:34:50:00
Seth
You've experienced hospital births, you've experienced homebirth. Spoiler alert. We're going to talk about homebirth. Yes. I don't want to move too fast into that. So you've experienced doctors and nurses and midwives. And again, spoiler alert and maybe nobody being they're kind of not saying I'm a nobody.

00:34:50:02 - 00:34:55:05
Stephanie
Amen. Most important person there for me.

00:34:55:07 - 00:35:04:07
Seth
Thank you. Why do you think you I think you would be an absolute amazing midwife for Dula. Why do you think you would be?

00:35:04:09 - 00:35:07:22
Stephanie
Wow, I've never been asked that.

00:35:08:00 - 00:35:32:01
Stephanie
I feel like I have a huge heart and I'm an empath and so I can connect with people really easily. And I just love people. I genuinely love people. And because of those two things, I can read people really well. I can read the energy in the room, which is super important during labor and delivery. You don't want bad labor because that can really affect the woman laboring.

00:35:32:03 - 00:35:34:17
Stephanie
In fact, it can reverse it.

00:35:34:19 - 00:35:36:04
Seth
The environment and.

00:35:36:05 - 00:35:38:02
Stephanie
Energy. Yes, yes, yes.

00:35:38:04 - 00:35:39:03
Seth
Sections of people.

00:35:39:04 - 00:35:55:19
Stephanie
Exactly. Let's say there's somebody in there that you have conflict with or, you know, you know, previous conflicts and you're like, do I want him in there or not? And you invite them in. And if they have a energy like that, it's it can set you back. There are all kinds of things that can set you back during during labor.

00:35:55:19 - 00:36:26:17
Stephanie
But I feel like I can bring a grounding presence can be really helpful. And I love serving people. I love you know, you can attest to this to give massages. Yeah. And I love learning and growing. And I have that passion and fascination with with the human body and birth and these beautiful spirits that are coming to Earth.

00:36:26:19 - 00:36:47:07
Seth
I will attest to all of that for you. I am the witness here. You have an incredible way of connecting with people and reading people things that I miss like now I'll have an observation about a situation or whatever, and you're like, this is what was going on. Like.

00:36:47:09 - 00:36:49:16
Stephanie
What?

00:36:49:18 - 00:36:53:13
Seth
So that's definitely that's definitely telling because.

00:36:53:14 - 00:36:59:22
Stephanie
Sometimes that also just comes. I feel like women are a little naturally better at that.

00:37:00:00 - 00:37:05:01
Seth
Yeah, probably on the average. Yes, definitely on the average, yes. And any love babies too? I mean that.

00:37:05:02 - 00:37:06:18
Stephanie
I do love babies.

00:37:06:20 - 00:37:09:18
Seth
And I feel like you're the baby whisperer.

00:37:09:19 - 00:37:10:07
Stephanie
Thank you.

00:37:10:11 - 00:37:20:17
Seth
Right? Yeah. Like, you know, you're talking to somebody. can I hold your baby? Yeah, I'd love it if you hold them. But just so you know, they're kind of cranky and then get to Stephanie's arms. It's like.

00:37:20:19 - 00:37:22:20
Stephanie

00:37:22:22 - 00:37:29:18
Seth
Like, how did you do that? He doesn't do that for anybody. He doesn't even do that for his dad. Like, I don't know.

00:37:29:20 - 00:37:34:03
Stephanie
They feel my love. Yeah.

00:37:34:05 - 00:37:49:16
Seth
So you become a mom at 21 and then you have another child a couple of years later. So you have a girl and a boy, Correct. How do you feel about that time in your life and motherhood, your experiences?

00:37:49:18 - 00:38:19:00
Stephanie
You know, honestly, because of the deep trauma that I was going through, I actually feel like becoming a mother saved my life. I don't really talk about that. It became really dark and hard and I became very depressed. And the one thing that kept me going was I had a baby, you know, who's going to take care of my baby if I'm gone?

00:38:19:04 - 00:38:52:19
Stephanie
Or, you know, how would that impact my child's life? And I knew that I had to live for that child. So that's one thing. It was a joy to have children to play with them and to even the hard thing of feeding them, you know, like it just motherhood was a joy, but it was also very hard. And I know some of that stems from just being in a really bad marriage, not having the support that I needed.

00:38:53:01 - 00:39:10:06
Stephanie
Also being able to do my best and connect with them. And to the biggest thing for me was to connect them with God and my Savior, Jesus Christ. And I knew if I did that, that everything would be okay.

00:39:10:08 - 00:39:22:10
Seth
So you're married at 18, almost 19. And and it take us to your mid-twenties. You ended up going through a separation and ultimately a divorce, is that right?

00:39:22:12 - 00:39:48:05
Stephanie
Yes. So we went through a few separations and just having that connection with God and realizing that the marriage was getting worse and it wasn't going to get better. And that stemmed from him not wanting to change and do the things that he needed to do for us to have a healthy marriage and family. And so I knew that it was time to leave.

00:39:48:08 - 00:40:13:21
Stephanie
I was I believe I was 25 when I left and I had two children and two and a half and four and a half at the time. And it was very, very scary. But I knew that it was a better option than staying. And so I knew with God by my side that it would all work out. I didn't know how, but I know it.

00:40:13:23 - 00:40:34:18
Seth
But you said there were multiple separations, so this wasn't just a you know, things are really bad, right? We're not going to get a resolution. You know, it takes two. It takes two to tango. It takes two, truly takes two people to make a great marriage and or even a good marriage. And if if one party says matter, which one?

00:40:34:18 - 00:40:51:22
Seth
But if one party is disconnected or unwilling, like it's a you can't you know, you can't move. Right. But you didn't make an initial, hey, this is bad. We're done. It sounds like there was like a transition period of what, months or a year or two?

00:40:51:23 - 00:41:13:20
Stephanie
it was years. I mean, we were only married six and a half years, but it definitely was like I don't necessarily remember when the first separation was, but like I said, we had issues from day one. So the span of the marriage, I think we had six or seven separations, anything from like a week or two, I think the most was like two or three months.

00:41:13:22 - 00:41:40:08
Stephanie
And I just knew at that those points that it was either separation or divorce because I couldn't live in the environment that was going on there and change needed to happen. And I'm not I don't just jump into divorce. I don't you know, when people talk to me and want to counsel with me and try and get my perspective, you know, from their marriages or or why I don't jump in and say you should get a divorce, because I don't think that's the first option.

00:41:40:13 - 00:41:52:20
Stephanie
So I knew that I had to give my all and then some I had to give over 100%. And I had to know that that it wasn't going to get better in order for me to leave.

00:41:52:22 - 00:41:56:12
Seth
So at 25, you're divorced, two kids.

00:41:56:14 - 00:41:58:16
Stephanie
I think I was 26 when the divorce was.

00:41:58:16 - 00:42:00:16
Seth
Final. What next?

00:42:00:18 - 00:42:29:16
Stephanie
boy. Single motherhood. Single motherhood. It was very difficult, but it was also like, I can look back on it with fondness. I definitely learned so much about myself, about motherhood, about what I wanted, and a future spouse. I and I don't say this to toot my own horn, but I went on a lot of first dates. People, you know, are frequently asking me, Are you dating a lot or whatever?

00:42:29:16 - 00:42:52:10
Stephanie
And I'm like, on a lot of first dates, I felt like God blessed me with intuition of, you know, whether I should go out with a guy again, you know? And I think some of that was just because I didn't have time, you know, to to mess around and find somebody I knew there was someone out there. And in a way, God worked with me on that.

00:42:52:10 - 00:43:19:20
Stephanie
And that was for about five years that I did that. And interestingly, you know, like the guys that I were I was interested in probably at least 95% of them were not interested in me. And the other 5% thank you know, the other 5% that were interested in me, they don't typically last very long. They became disinterested. And a few times I was too.

00:43:19:20 - 00:43:23:07
Stephanie
But yeah, yeah, that's that's how it was for about five years.

00:43:23:09 - 00:43:38:04
Seth
You ever get concerned that, you know, I mean, you're young, you're 26 years old, capable, you know, healthy or you're a single mom. Did that ever become an issue when you were dating, being a single mom?

00:43:38:06 - 00:44:00:08
Stephanie
well, I, I don't necessarily want to say that it was an issue because I was very forthright with that. You know, when a guy was interested, I would tell him, Hey, I've been divorced, I have two kids. And so to me that was really important because I didn't want to waste my time or his time. I think there was one guy that I did that and that did not end well.

00:44:00:10 - 00:44:06:06
Stephanie
I was like, Well, you know, I've had people tell me, Well, why would you do that? A first date? So I'm like, okay, I guess I'll try it out and.

00:44:06:06 - 00:44:07:03
Seth
And not tell.

00:44:07:05 - 00:44:07:17
Stephanie
Yeah, I mean.

00:44:07:23 - 00:44:09:14
Seth
Not, not make it a point of conversation.

00:44:09:14 - 00:44:10:23
Stephanie
Yeah. Yeah. And it's.

00:44:10:23 - 00:44:13:01
Seth
My name. Stephanie and I have two kids.

00:44:13:03 - 00:44:15:09
Stephanie
Yeah, exactly.

00:44:15:11 - 00:44:16:05
Seth
Where you want me to go from.

00:44:16:05 - 00:44:33:03
Stephanie
There. I mean, it wasn't like right off the bat, it was into some conversation, but. But yeah, and honestly, I felt like I was lying on the first date with that guy, and, like, they're a part of who I am. You know, they're literally this package here. yeah.

00:44:33:05 - 00:44:35:13
Seth
This is. This is not a solo package.

00:44:35:14 - 00:44:36:17
Stephanie
No.

00:44:36:19 - 00:44:38:21
Seth
Mama. And one and two.

00:44:39:01 - 00:44:43:09
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah. Exclamation point.

00:44:43:10 - 00:44:46:03
Seth
Does. Yep. People tell you you're too picky.

00:44:46:05 - 00:45:03:14
Stephanie
Yes, I did. I did. I had at least one friend's close friend and a few guys that they would like. okay. I want to say, you know, who can I set you up with? What do you want? And so I would tell them of things. Obviously, I did not think I was going to get all the things on the list, but there were a few deal breakers.

00:45:03:14 - 00:45:21:22
Stephanie
And then I had other things that I'm like, You know what? These are things I'm interested in all of them said, Stephanie, why don't you just settle? And I was like, Excuse me, what did you just say? Did you just tell me to settle? Like, I'm not going. I'm not going to settle. Like, why didn't I just stay with my first husband if I was just going to settle?

00:45:22:00 - 00:45:30:13
Stephanie
I knew that being single was better than settling for somebody who, you know, wasn't going to be the best option out there for me.

00:45:30:15 - 00:45:40:03
Seth
I'm dying to know what was on the deal breaker list. Let's go into the archives. Can somebody can somebody bring that up? Can we get a visual of the list?

00:45:40:05 - 00:45:40:19
Stephanie
Are you asking?

00:45:40:19 - 00:45:52:02
Seth
Yeah, I'm asking. I don't know how to put it. It's like, okay, two question marks instead of one. What was on the list? what's important to you? Like, this doesn't have to be an important to everybody. This is your life. What was important to you?

00:45:52:06 - 00:46:18:16
Stephanie
Well, honestly, I can't really. I mean, the list was kind of long, you know, but the deal breaker part wasn't. But I'm trying to remember exactly what those were. I definitely they had to share the same views religiously. For me, that was very important. Had a good connection with God and Jesus. They had to be an incredible man That, I should say, would be an incredible father to my children.

00:46:18:22 - 00:46:44:04
Stephanie
One thing that was on there that was not necessarily a dealbreaker, but I honestly wasn't looking for a man with kids. I knew that the percentage of that or the outcome was probably going to be that I married a man with kids, but I wasn't necessarily looking for it and I also wasn't looking for somebody. And I was hoping not to marry a man with several children.

00:46:44:06 - 00:46:59:03
Stephanie
what else was on that list? Something that I was like, This isn't a deal breaker, but I would absolutely love was a man that dances country. Swing was my preferred method of dancing. I made the list, and then I worked really hard at being those things.

00:46:59:07 - 00:47:03:07
Seth
When you say you made the list, was this did you write this down?

00:47:03:09 - 00:47:14:19
Stephanie
I did. I wrote it down and and kept it close by so that I could see it because I'm like, if I expect these things, you know, in a man that I need to be able to work on them. And so I want them front and center.

00:47:14:21 - 00:47:41:17
Seth
One thing I learned here I've talked about this is that especially when you go through relationship changes the separation of divorce. I experienced that myself. You realize quickly, and when you get good coaching and good mentoring, they say, okay, the past is the past, but you look to the future. You got to change yourself. Right.

00:47:41:23 - 00:47:42:06
Stephanie
Definitely.

00:47:42:10 - 00:47:52:17
Seth
So you don't change yourself. If you don't change anything, you might be an amazing person, but if you don't change anything, then you actually might end up back in the same place.

00:47:52:19 - 00:48:11:11
Stephanie
Statistically, you will. You will, because there's a reason why you attracted that person and that they were attracted to you and so if you're not willing to take an honest, humble look at yourself, you're you're going to still have those things there with you and you're still going to be attracted to those things.

00:48:11:13 - 00:48:14:12
Seth
Absolutely. So the list I want to see that list someday.

00:48:14:17 - 00:48:16:22
Stephanie
I don't know that I have it. Really? Yeah.

00:48:16:22 - 00:48:18:14
Seth
I don't need it anymore, I guess.

00:48:18:18 - 00:48:23:09
Stephanie
No. So my list is right here.

00:48:23:11 - 00:48:28:09
Seth
I like I really like this conversation. So tell me. Let's. It's like tall.

00:48:28:09 - 00:48:31:05
Stephanie
Dark and handsome.

00:48:31:06 - 00:48:34:21
Seth
Okay, Well, okay. What about the cut? What about the country boy cowboy thing? Was that on the list?

00:48:34:23 - 00:48:53:22
Stephanie
I don't remember if I wrote it down, but it definitely was something that I wanted. I mean, even to the point where, like, my mom knew I was, you know, moving to Utah, and she's like, well, Stephanie, there's lots of cowboys in Logan, Utah. Maybe you should move up there. Yeah. So, yeah, so it was is definitely known beyond just me and God.

00:48:54:00 - 00:48:57:03
Stephanie
That was something I wanted.

00:48:57:05 - 00:49:22:02
Seth
Since we all know the outcome of your single motherhood, right? So we end up getting married. I mean, I like this conversation. So tell me, what were you looking for? It kind of reminds me of of Disney's Aladdin, right? When Jafar is talking to Jasmine and he's like, So let's talk about me anyway. So you're a single mom.

00:49:22:02 - 00:49:30:18
Seth
You're you've you've been doing this thing by yourself. You're living with your parents. Yes. Right. I suppose they probably were a huge help.

00:49:30:20 - 00:49:31:10
Stephanie
Absolutely.

00:49:31:10 - 00:49:42:04
Seth
At that time. Support. But you decide that, hey, I'm not going to or you decide or I'm like, what happens five years into this?

00:49:42:06 - 00:50:03:15
Stephanie
Well, I think it actually stems further back than that, you know, because I am interested in the medical field. My sister and her husband, he was going to school. I can't remember what for. At the time, I believe it was the same trade school I ended up going to. And they encouraged me to look into being a medical assistant.

00:50:03:17 - 00:50:11:21
Stephanie
And I bring that up because I didn't even end up using that degree or whatever you want to call it.

00:50:11:22 - 00:50:12:13
Seth
Officially.

00:50:12:16 - 00:50:33:22
Stephanie
Officially, yes. I definitely carry that knowledge with me. But I never got a job with that. But it's really important to me because it was something that gave me a lot of confidence that I didn't have before, and that leads in to what happens next. So I went to medical assisting in school. It's kind of funny too, because like we said, schooling was not my thing.

00:50:34:00 - 00:50:52:04
Stephanie
That was one thing that made me really nervous and I almost didn't sign up to go do the trade school because of it. But I looked into it and I got excited and I felt like it was right. So I'm like, okay, I'll just do this. So I go to school and I'm at the beginning. They say, Okay, there's a couple ways that you can earn, you know, the special ropes for, you know, we're under neck at graduation.

00:50:52:09 - 00:51:21:18
Stephanie
So they said, well, there's my goodness, what is it called? There's perfect attendance and the honor roll. And I was like, You're definitely not making the honor roll. So I'm going for a perfect attendance because I want a special rope. And oddly enough, I mean, I should have seen this because I am a single mom at the time, but I did get perfect attendance, but I did get the honor roll.

00:51:21:20 - 00:51:33:17
Stephanie
So I had that special rope and I was very proud of it. And I think that's also part of what boosted my confidence in myself and what I'm capable of and what my future can hold.

00:51:33:19 - 00:51:43:11
Seth
Do you feel like many women have similar experiences that they don't necessarily understand or believe in what they're capable of?

00:51:43:13 - 00:52:09:19
Stephanie
100%. 100%. I think maybe even as a society, women are made to believe that they're not as capable as we really are. And I think that's partly why we see a lot of women trying to fill men's roles. I do believe that there are some things in life that are more of a man's role and a woman's role, and we see a lot more women trying to step up and fill those shoes to prove themselves.

00:52:09:21 - 00:52:13:15
Seth
So you get you're on the honor roll, you graduate.

00:52:13:15 - 00:52:25:06
Stephanie
What's next So soon after that? I mean, this this could probably be a podcast in and of itself, you know, this journey. So I need to figure out how to sort it out.

00:52:25:07 - 00:52:32:03
Seth
This is the first episode and continuing Stephanie's interview. Episode 3737 Episode.

00:52:32:03 - 00:52:53:16
Stephanie
37 I'm just getting so I just started these different thoughts about moving to Utah and I had different friends within like a 24 hour period, maybe 48 at the most who didn't even know each other. And they were all saying, Well, why don't you go to move? Why don't you move to Utah? And I'm like, What? Like the first several?

00:52:53:16 - 00:53:17:23
Stephanie
I was like, What? You know, like, here, let me back step and say that my ex-husband had moved to Oklahoma at that time. And so I had the majority of custody. So it definitely was a possibility now, whereas before it wasn't. And so it never even crossed my mind, even though he had been, you know, out of the state at that point for about six months or so.

00:53:18:01 - 00:53:36:22
Stephanie
And and so I was like after several people have said, I'm like, my goodness, like, I could actually do this. Like, I don't have anything keeping me here in Arizona. I don't have a job right now. You know, I'm looking for a medical assisting job and wasn't having any success. And it which was so odd to me.

00:53:37:04 - 00:53:53:23
Stephanie
And so after hearing it from so many people, I talked to my mom and was just like, hey, mom, like, this keeps coming up from several different people that don't even know each other. I don't know what's going on, but I'm wondering if I need to move to Utah. And just like, well, sometimes that's how God works. You know, He brings things up through other people.

00:53:54:01 - 00:54:15:02
Stephanie
So I ended up praying about it. I didn't receive that answer right away. It was actually like a six month process to where it just kept getting stronger and stronger, stronger. The feeling of needing to be there. A super long story short, I decided to move to Utah and my parents were shocked. I felt like everybody else was cheering me on, saying, Yeah, go, go.

00:54:15:03 - 00:54:33:22
Stephanie
And I found out later they were actually terrified for me. But I mean, I didn't have any family in Utah. I didn't have a job. I literally had nothing. So my parents were very concerned, rightfully so, that I would be moving a state away. You know, they were hoping it'd be like down the street or something, not to another state.

00:54:34:02 - 00:54:50:07
Stephanie
So I just finally said, you know what, I it keeps getting stronger. I need to go. I would love your support, whatever that looks like, whether it's helping me move up there or just a big loving with a mil, you know, to to send me off with my children and I'll pack all my stuff in my car and go.

00:54:50:07 - 00:55:05:03
Stephanie
And they were like, All right, well, let's do this, you know? And they, they helped me pack up and move. And my brother in law, Krista, too, I reached out to a friend who was like, Stephanie, why don't you come live with me? Come live with my family. You just really get on your feet. So I said, All right.

00:55:05:05 - 00:55:09:23
Stephanie
So we took off for Utah, went and lived with my friend Jen.

00:55:10:00 - 00:55:11:09
Seth
Found a job.

00:55:11:11 - 00:55:34:19
Stephanie
I did. I it was a horrible job. Horrible. I had never had anxiety before until that job. It was like call center. I don't recommend them. Yeah. About three months into that, I. I found a place to live that was affordable. I'd saved up some money after a few months and a couple of small down payment on it.

00:55:34:19 - 00:55:51:09
Stephanie
It was a triplex had absolutely incredible family living in one of them that were the owners and they were a godsend and yeah, we lived we we lived there. But before before we moved there, that's when I met you.

00:55:51:11 - 00:55:56:08
Seth
What was it like? Being on your own? You'd been with your parents for five years? Yeah, As a single mom.

00:55:56:12 - 00:55:56:23
Stephanie
Yeah.

00:55:57:00 - 00:56:00:11
Seth
Which is his own. Has its own challenges.

00:56:00:13 - 00:56:00:23
Stephanie
yeah.

00:56:01:01 - 00:56:07:11
Seth
But you've got family and parents, which can be its own challenges. But there's a lot of support.

00:56:07:16 - 00:56:08:09
Stephanie
Definitely.

00:56:08:09 - 00:56:08:21
Seth
There, right?

00:56:08:21 - 00:56:09:06
Stephanie
Yeah.

00:56:09:12 - 00:56:30:23
Seth
And and then you're like, Hey, I'm moving away. I need to do this. It's great to be with a friend. There's maybe a little support, but it's got its own challenges. Yeah. And then you're in your own little apartment. Working kids are going to school. Like, what are the realities? Because I think every single parent, especially single mothers.

00:56:30:23 - 00:56:37:14
Seth
I was a single father, right? I know. I have some idea, but what was your experience? What was that like.

00:56:37:16 - 00:57:05:01
Stephanie
Living on my own, being a single mom? Yeah. I'm a part of me. Absolutely loved it because it was my own home. You know, like, I could have my own schedule, I could play or do whatever I wanted without worrying about anybody else in the home. I actually can look back and say, I mean, there were some things that made me nervous, you know, like my kids would get home an hour before I would, you know, and they were pretty young, different things like that that made me nervous and was a little stressful.

00:57:05:02 - 00:57:25:06
Stephanie
I can definitely say that earning enough money was a huge stressor for me. Putting food on the table. However, it it it was really good. You know, It was like, hey, let's go on a walk. You know, I have to check in with anybody or or anything. You know, we could just do our thing. We could make plans or we could counselor plans or whatever.

00:57:25:06 - 00:57:29:09
Stephanie
Like, it was just it was really good, really good to be on my own.

00:57:29:11 - 00:57:45:21
Seth
Professionally. You and I work with a lot of women from all around the world. And one of the drivers there are a lot of drivers for women getting into entrepreneurship. But you talked about the stress of making enough money. Like how tight was that?

00:57:45:23 - 00:58:04:04
Stephanie
it was extremely tight at the time. I was not receiving child support for quite some time before that. And, you know, making I think was like 1125 an hour, which those $0.25 counted. You know.

00:58:04:06 - 00:58:14:11
Seth
Knowing you, you would you would knowing you, you'd find something at the, you know whatever store Ross dress for laughs or the thrift store.

00:58:14:12 - 00:58:15:11
Stephanie
Going to say die the.

00:58:15:11 - 00:58:31:16
Seth
Thrift store right. And it'd be like a $27 item that you got for $0.25. I believe that you would make that twice and then you lost it and then you'd bring home like 25 of those things in grocery sacks.

00:58:31:18 - 00:58:38:14
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah. I like to reuse things like those grocery sacks like it is a lot of times.

00:58:38:16 - 00:58:40:09
Seth
Absolutely.

00:58:40:11 - 00:59:00:22
Stephanie
Yeah. So I think the biggest thing it was, I will say that was one of the biggest stressors for me as a single mother having my children, you know, ask if we could get ice cream and I would have to say, well, you know, and I didn't want to put that burden on them. So I try to word it in a way that wasn't we can't afford this.

00:59:01:00 - 00:59:11:17
Stephanie
It was more of, you know what, let's keep it special. Let's wait till your birthday. You know, like, let's have ice cream only on your birthday. I mean, that's three times a year, you know, just for our birthdays.

00:59:11:17 - 00:59:31:09
Seth
So, yeah, I think that's powerful, too, though. It's a powerful motive. You're not just you're not simply covering up that we don't have the that's not in our budget, but but focusing people on the positive. You know, and I think I think we need to be careful about we can't say, well, yeah, it's not in your budget right now and that that's okay.

00:59:31:09 - 00:59:40:18
Seth
And there are probably other ways you could have you could also handle, hey, it's not in our budget now, but let's do this in this mess. In this case, hey, let's celebrate and make it special.

00:59:40:20 - 01:00:02:15
Stephanie
And, you know, honestly, I probably did say it at some point, but I think for the most part, I tried focusing them on it being a special thing and keeping it positive for them because they were young. You know, I think even being a little older would be, you know, if I could present it in a different way with different maturity and and not be a downer for them versus a little child.

01:00:02:17 - 01:00:22:21
Stephanie
So, yeah, you know, I'm like, yeah, let's do cake and ice cream on your birthdays and we'll keep those, you know, things special. And I remember specifically and I talk about this a lot when people ask me about being a single mom. I remember one time taking my kids to the grocery store and I had a list of all the things that we needed and some of the things that I wanted.

01:00:22:22 - 01:00:47:13
Stephanie
I can't remember if ice cream was on there might have been looking at my list and being so grateful that I had money in that moment to get everything on my list. And I cried and I told our children. I asked them like, maybe we should say a prayer and thank Heavenly Father for blessing us. We got everything on our list today.

01:00:47:14 - 01:01:08:17
Stephanie
And so we did. We stopped immediately and thanked them for blessing us. We also had a lot of people in our ministry that would bring fruits and vegetables. Hey, my garden had extra this. Can I give you some? Or my trees have extra fruit? Would you like to come pick some? So I know that also helped carry us through that hard time.

01:01:08:19 - 01:01:45:07
Seth
I think you're tremendous at being grateful. You know, you have a real knack for and maybe it's because you. I don't know why. You know, maybe it's because when you don't have when there's lack, but you see all those necessities. Because I know if you're making $11.25 an hour and you're raising two kids and you're talking about, well, I got all the necessities and I got some of my wants, those wants must have been pretty limited because there's only so much in a budget, you know, only for that.

01:01:45:08 - 01:01:56:08
Seth
And I know I've always found that you're extremely grateful. In fact, I was talking about your sport. You know, I feel like I'm spoiled. I'm like, You're not spoiled if you're grateful.

01:01:56:10 - 01:01:59:12
Stephanie
Yeah, You know, but I stop saying that I'm spoiled. Did you notice.

01:01:59:12 - 01:02:02:14
Seth
That I have? Yes. In seven. Wow.

01:02:02:16 - 01:02:28:15
Stephanie
Because, yes, I am. I am grateful. And I agree. I think it does come from lack. Yeah. I mean, even when I was married previously, he was going to school and, you know, I didn't get a job after a while. And and so we lacked a lot in our home in my first marriage, too. So I've had plenty of lack in my life.

01:02:28:17 - 01:02:36:04
Seth
Even with all those blessings and the prayers. Were you hungry when the kids hungry as a single mom?

01:02:36:06 - 01:03:02:11
Stephanie
Yes. So I. I don't believe the kids knew this, but they didn't know. You know, they were I would make a meal and then they would ask for more sometimes. And so sometimes I was really hungry and I wanted to say there's not enough because I wanted some. But, you know, trying to be a good mom. I said, Sure, yeah, absolutely.

01:03:02:13 - 01:03:14:15
Stephanie
And I would feed them the rest of it if I remember correctly. They would even ask, Well, you know, are you are you hungry? Are you good? I'm like, I'm good, I'm good. I would go to bed with some pains in my stomach sometimes. Yeah.

01:03:14:17 - 01:03:25:05
Seth
I want to say, did you do the right thing? I know you did it. And moms are doing this all the time. Not saying you shouldn't do that. Is there another way to handle that, do you think?

01:03:25:07 - 01:03:48:01
Stephanie
definitely. I think looking back, I definitely could have reached out for more help. Thankfully, that period that I went through, it wasn't super long. You know, I had my ecclesiastical leader asking if I needed help and I told him, no, I don't think I'm comfortable with that. And looking back, I should have said yes and I should have I should have embraced it with open arms and gratitude.

01:03:48:03 - 01:03:52:16
Stephanie
I'm also grateful that, you know, what I did go through taught me a lot.

01:03:52:17 - 01:03:57:14
Seth
You and I meet you and I meet on the dance floor, by the way.

01:03:57:16 - 01:03:59:04
Stephanie
Right? Yeah, baby.

01:03:59:06 - 01:04:20:07
Seth
Check that off the list. In fact, I remember I remember seeing one of the things that I did after I went through as I was going through separation and divorce, got some great, great counsel. Seth, God wants Seth Mulder to be Seth Mulder. In other words, you have to be you. And sometimes when you go through traumatic relationships, you lose.

01:04:20:07 - 01:04:47:13
Seth
You. Or you or you isn't accepted or isn't, you know, isn't isn't protected. And it's up to you. One thing it's to you to be you. You can't expect somebody else to to be you for you or to say what you is acceptable. Right. So it's not acceptable that maybe this is a no deal. Yeah, right. So I started dancing again and started practicing with one of my my daughter.

01:04:47:13 - 01:05:10:03
Seth
I had five boys and a girl and she loved to dance. And we started practicing again because I had kind of put dancing on the shelf for a decade and a half. And so I was going quite a bit. And I remember and I knew I knew a lot. I knew pretty much all all of the girls there, you know, at this one particular place, actually, a couple of places that I went.

01:05:10:05 - 01:05:27:01
Seth
And so when when I saw you cross the dance floor halfway, by the way, it was not all the way halfway across the dance floor. I knew exactly where it was and where I was. And there you are. You're like, Who is that? Who's that pretty woman over there? I was about to start singing Roy Orbison. Pretty Woman, right?

01:05:27:02 - 01:05:27:20
Seth
And that might.

01:05:27:20 - 01:05:30:00
Stephanie
Have been a little creepy.

01:05:30:02 - 01:05:39:10
Seth
There's a lot of things that I might've done that could have been, and I did some of it. And, you know, you know, I don't I don't think we ever going to get into this in this podcast, but.

01:05:39:12 - 01:05:40:17
Stephanie
Like the beard.

01:05:40:19 - 01:05:59:14
Seth
Like to be, yeah, I three months before that, I had a beard that made me look like an Arab man, you know, 12 inches from my you know, it was it was pretty it was I must say it was good. It was it what would have happened if I would have had the beard when we met?

01:05:59:16 - 01:06:03:03
Stephanie
You know, I don't know that I would have gone out with you. It was kind of.

01:06:03:05 - 01:06:04:03
Seth
Like you would have.

01:06:04:09 - 01:06:05:09
Stephanie
No.

01:06:05:11 - 01:06:05:21
Seth
you would have.

01:06:06:02 - 01:06:10:13
Stephanie
Maybe after you shaved it and I saw you again, but I wouldn't probably even know that it was you.

01:06:10:15 - 01:06:12:19
Seth
All right. I could have been two identities.

01:06:12:20 - 01:06:13:21
Stephanie
Yeah.

01:06:13:23 - 01:06:31:12
Seth
So I remember seeing you and asked you to dance. And that's your name. And my name's Stephanie. I'm like, What a great name. I know. I don't know. I never said that before, but it just was like, I like that name. And then we started dancing and 7 seconds into this dance, because I. I did a lot of dancing.

01:06:31:14 - 01:07:15:22
Seth
Yeah. And I got in pretty good. And you, when you start to partner with somebody on the dance floor and there's just a a mutual rhythm, it's an incredibly refreshing, wow feeling. There's a instant connection. And I couldn't help but blurting out Daphne, You can Dance. You're probably like, Well, no duh, right? In fact, I wish. I wish, you know, I wish all of our I wish all of our instruments weren't being used for recording right now because, like, I would put on some music, it doesn't matter.

01:07:15:22 - 01:07:25:00
Seth
It could be it could be Latin music with a little salsa, be, you know, with a little salsa rhythm. It could be some country, you know, Florida, Georgia Line or Tim McGraw.

01:07:25:02 - 01:07:29:09
Stephanie
And it would have to be something sassier than that. Okay.

01:07:29:11 - 01:07:36:18
Seth
Because what would start happening is you would start shaking those hips. And I wish everybody could see like.

01:07:36:22 - 01:07:39:12
Stephanie
my goodness. Okay. Anyway.

01:07:39:14 - 01:07:50:12
Seth
So anyway, you and I, you and I date for eight months. We get married eight months to the day. And I didn't actually meet all the criteria necessarily, Right. I mean or some of your image.

01:07:50:14 - 01:07:51:07
Stephanie
You pretty much.

01:07:51:07 - 01:07:52:14
Seth
Dead. I much did, except I.

01:07:52:14 - 01:07:55:12
Stephanie
Pretty much did the list.

01:07:55:14 - 01:07:56:10
Seth
And then some.

01:07:56:12 - 01:08:04:09
Stephanie
But I didn't. It wasn't a deal breaker. True. I prefer a man with no kids. But if he does, you know, preferably a couple.

01:08:04:11 - 01:08:08:18
Seth
And I reminded Stephanie, I'm 39 with six kids.

01:08:08:20 - 01:08:10:02
Stephanie
Yeah.

01:08:10:04 - 01:08:11:13
Seth
And you said.

01:08:11:15 - 01:08:20:00
Stephanie
I'm open thinking it was probably going to be another, you know, first date. So the first thing.

01:08:20:02 - 01:08:36:23
Seth
So eight months to the day later, we get married, we start integrating family. What was it like? You know, just, just a message, a shout out to all of our our, you know, women and men out there who are blending families.

01:08:37:01 - 01:08:38:17
Stephanie
God, that is a.

01:08:38:19 - 01:08:50:22
Seth
That's a podcast. That's that's a lot of conversation. We don't have a lot of time to touch on it. But I think there are a lot of people who are in that situation struggling with it. Some are triumphing and we've had our ups and downs. Yeah, and.

01:08:50:22 - 01:08:51:09
Stephanie
Ups.

01:08:51:11 - 01:08:52:17
Seth
Yeah. I mean.

01:08:52:19 - 01:09:13:05
Stephanie
But I think for the most part it's been a constant ebb and flow up and down with the blending part. However, I do think the one thing that we have going for us that has made a tremendous difference compared to looking at other families or friends that I have that have tried blending families and stuff is that our marriage is rock solid.

01:09:13:09 - 01:09:37:03
Stephanie
I know that if things are going wrong, you know, amongst the children whether it's with themselves or with us or, you know, outside or whatnot, that we're going to be okay. You know, we're actually going to come out stronger going through this. And I think that's a tremendous advantage that we have. And lot more marriages, second third marriages could benefit from that.

01:09:37:07 - 01:09:39:20
Stephanie
Making sure that the relationship is rock solid.

01:09:39:22 - 01:09:47:20
Seth
I think this was on your list. I know it was on it was on my list. You know, was part of a it was a it was a how characteristics.

01:09:47:22 - 01:09:48:11
Stephanie
I yeah.

01:09:48:12 - 01:09:57:18
Seth
I had a list. I don't know. You're right. I don't know. I don't think I wrote it. I probably should. I mean I should probably I probably should have written it down because I'm was like, you got to write your, your goals down. You got to write your I.

01:09:57:18 - 01:09:59:12
Stephanie
Want to see this list.

01:09:59:14 - 01:10:13:22
Seth
You look in the mirror, babe, but somebody who could who could love my children much as I love my children. And that's that's asking a lot.

01:10:14:00 - 01:10:46:00
Stephanie
For both people. I felt like like we talked about I have a huge heart and I connect with people really easily. And for me it came naturally. And I think that was one big sign for me that I knew this was going in the right direction and this could be really good and and might be it was because, I mean, I've, I've dated other people that had children, and I don't necessarily connect with them like I did our children when I, you know, would be a few at a time.

01:10:46:02 - 01:10:51:12
Stephanie
I felt like it was natural and that just instantly I felt like they were a part of my family.

01:10:51:14 - 01:11:08:21
Seth
And they felt that way about you, too. I think that that has been special I think for other people we often talk about yours, mine and ours. We had two beautiful little girls since we got married and they've been a huge blessing six and two and two. So we're at ten.

01:11:08:23 - 01:11:09:07
Stephanie
Yes.

01:11:09:07 - 01:11:10:01
Seth
Right.

01:11:10:03 - 01:11:12:05
Stephanie
And two incredible daughter in law.

01:11:12:07 - 01:11:13:09
Seth
Absolutely.

01:11:13:09 - 01:11:15:20
Stephanie
And five amazing.

01:11:15:21 - 01:11:18:11
Seth
Yes. And and growing.

01:11:18:13 - 01:11:19:11
Stephanie
Yes.

01:11:19:12 - 01:11:44:12
Seth
But I think that that your acceptance, you know of. Listen, I'm not your mom. I don't I'm not your mother. In this case, there wasn't we didn't have death involved. Yes. And even if her death wasn't, I'm not here to replace your mother. She's not married. Your father. Right. But I'm. I'm here to be a friend and a support and.

01:11:44:14 - 01:11:45:15
Stephanie
A motherly figure.

01:11:45:16 - 01:11:47:22
Seth
Yeah, a motherly figure. I mean, absolutely.

01:11:47:22 - 01:11:49:15
Stephanie
Yeah.

01:11:49:17 - 01:12:04:21
Seth
So we often will talk to other people so that they can understand. Okay, yours, mine, hours and, a lot of. A lot of family. And there's different ways to do this. your stepchildren. In fact, I had I had a you know, a buddy of mine say that today. so you've got, you know, six kids, you know, and step kids.

01:12:04:21 - 01:12:14:03
Seth
And and that's that's acceptable. That's an acceptable way to put it. But we've always been this is these are our children for the most part.

01:12:14:05 - 01:12:34:21
Stephanie
Yes. Right. I think we've actually done an incredible job at that, making sure that the children all knew that it was one family. It was one home. Also not discounting the home and family outside of our home, but that there is a level of respect. Well, they asked what they could call me and I said, you know, as long as it's respectful, I don't mind what you choose to call me.

01:12:34:21 - 01:12:39:05
Stephanie
Could be Stephanie or, you know, whatever, you know, I'm a staff or.

01:12:39:07 - 01:12:41:00
Seth
You know, Yeah, another name, you know.

01:12:41:02 - 01:13:05:05
Stephanie
Yeah. You know, for a while they called me Mom and I was like, okay, if that's what you're comfortable with, and then that's fine. But yeah, I was open to whatever was, was comfortable for them. I say also that I don't like to refer to children as my stepchildren. So if I do need to clarify something, you know, people are asking, well, which children are yours?

01:13:05:05 - 01:13:23:21
Stephanie
And I keep saying they're all mine. And they keep saying, I know, but which ones are yours? I'm like, But they're all mine. Then I will will say either, well, you know, six of them are my bonus children because I feel like Step kind of has a feeling to it.

01:13:23:21 - 01:13:25:07
Seth
Maybe some separation.

01:13:25:11 - 01:13:26:21
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:13:26:21 - 01:13:28:16
Seth
And so that's meant or just.

01:13:28:18 - 01:13:39:18
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I prefer to call them my bonus children or I'm their bonus mom because I like to think that I'm a good addition to their life, just like I feel like they're a good addition to mine.

01:13:39:20 - 01:13:48:09
Seth
Bonus Yeah, And you And nobody likes a good bonus more than you. Six children in grocery sacks, right?

01:13:48:09 - 01:13:51:12
Stephanie
They're like.

01:13:51:14 - 01:13:58:00
Seth
So much I'd love to talk about. What books are you reading right now and are you a book? Are you a bookworm? Like, is that, is that your dad?

01:13:58:04 - 01:14:27:17
Stephanie
So I actually am not a bookworm, but I do know that I can gain a lot from reading books. So this last year I knew that I was going to be turning 40 and. I was like, crap, I'm going to be old. Like, I was so not excited about this. And so I, I saw somebody that made a list for their 30th birthday and while they were 29 and it was, a 30 by 30.

01:14:27:17 - 01:14:30:13
Stephanie
So 30 things she wanted to complete by the time she turned 30.

01:14:30:14 - 01:14:32:12
Seth
Let me guess, you saw this on Pinterest?

01:14:32:14 - 01:15:00:14
Stephanie
No, I actually didn't. I No survey says no. So I decided like, my goodness, this is brilliant. This is something I can work towards. And it's it's like a longer term. It's not just like, hey, a few weeks or whatever. And so I made a list of 40 things that I wanted to complete before I turned 40, and one of them was I'm like, you know, I know I need to read more.

01:15:00:14 - 01:15:16:21
Stephanie
I know I do. And so I decided I'm going to read 12 books, you know, in the next year, which for me is astronomical. It really is. So I'm actually in the middle of three books right now to complete up to number 12.

01:15:16:23 - 01:15:18:16
Seth
But you've got quite a bit of time before this.

01:15:18:18 - 01:15:19:12
Stephanie
No, tomorrow.

01:15:19:18 - 01:15:20:18
Seth
Your birthday's tomorrow.

01:15:20:22 - 01:15:28:11
Stephanie
Yes. So sadly, I will not complete the 40, but I have done over 30. I don't remember.

01:15:28:11 - 01:15:31:16
Seth
And you've got I mean, you've got nearly all in progress or me or.

01:15:31:22 - 01:15:33:19
Stephanie
A lot of them. Yeah. Yeah. I've got two. Good.

01:15:33:20 - 01:15:35:10
Seth
And you've done over 30 yet.

01:15:35:12 - 01:16:01:05
Stephanie
I mean the other some too. Like I wanted to go on 20 and I've done what is it, 17. You know, I wanted to cook 40 new recipes and I've done over 30 different things. So I mean, I probably set the bar a little too high, but it's, it's pushed me and made me grow and, you know, helped me to do things that I normally wouldn't allow myself to do or spend money on or or whatever, because I'm frugal.

01:16:01:07 - 01:16:22:00
Stephanie
And it's it's helped me to also realize that it's okay to spend money, you know, And it's it's an investment in myself, you know, so the things I really love and I want to do more of. I've also realized that I am not pursuing my dreams or my goals like I should be. And so it's kind of opened up that path for me.

01:16:22:02 - 01:16:24:10
Stephanie
So anyways, you're asking about the books I'm reading.

01:16:24:12 - 01:16:50:13
Seth
Yeah, I'll get to the books. One of the things you said and I absolutely love, I want to bring out is I see this as an investment in myself and it's wonderful to be frugal or, or to make wise use right of the talents and the things the time, the talents, the resources, the money that you have. And I mean, you know, me, it's like I don't have problem doing that.

01:16:50:15 - 01:16:53:23
Stephanie
This is true.

01:16:54:01 - 01:16:56:06
Seth
I want to enjoy life as well.

01:16:56:10 - 01:16:58:05
Stephanie
Yes.

01:16:58:07 - 01:17:19:05
Seth
But if we if we change the narrative to is this something I want to invest in? Because if you're investing, then then there's the expectation that what, after you invest, there's a return, like an investment grows. It's something that's going to yield more than if it just sits there. Right now, you're not just spending money.

01:17:19:07 - 01:17:20:22
Stephanie

01:17:21:00 - 01:17:31:19
Seth
Now, women all over the world are. They're saying I'm just investing in my happiness right? Whatever is at Macy's or Saks Fifth Avenue or or.

01:17:31:19 - 01:17:32:11
Stephanie
Shanghai.

01:17:32:11 - 01:17:58:15
Seth
Or that or Stephanie, the thrift store. She doesn't even say thrift store. She's. She names our local thrift store. Right. All 37 branches that they have. But just like for me personally, it's like, no, she's going to the thrift store. Like, how bad could it really be? It's it's actually not the monetary hit. It's the 43 bags that come come back.

01:17:58:17 - 01:18:00:15
Seth
And what are we going to do with this stuff?

01:18:00:15 - 01:18:03:05
Stephanie
Remember, I reuse the grocery bag, but.

01:18:03:07 - 01:18:21:22
Seth
She puts it all to good use. Mostly. Mostly. So I love that kinds of investing, you know, And you have to be willing you want to change your life. You got to be willing to invest in yourself. And I think that's really come through in this in this episode today. And it is time and time again in your life.

01:18:21:23 - 01:18:24:19
Seth
This is going to be a decision to invest in myself.

01:18:24:21 - 01:18:43:13
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah. And I will say that in some of those things, like I did with our children or like you and I went and tried acro yoga and you were batik yoga. I was so excited that you at the end you were like, Yeah, this is awesome. Let's do it again. And I'm like, this is amazing. I'm so glad I put this on the list.

01:18:43:15 - 01:18:44:18
Seth
This is on the 40 by 40.

01:18:44:18 - 01:18:51:03
Stephanie
Yes Yes, it was. So it was an investment in relationships as a whole, not just myself.

01:18:51:05 - 01:18:58:03
Seth
I'm going to tell you Acro yoga, acrobatic yoga like still like I'm getting a dopamine hit right now.

01:18:58:03 - 01:18:58:18
Stephanie
I'm talking about.

01:18:58:18 - 01:19:01:03
Seth
Just I'm serious.

01:19:01:05 - 01:19:03:09
Stephanie
Me too. I can feel it again.

01:19:03:11 - 01:19:22:17
Seth
Like I literally have chemical reaction going through my body right now. That was so fun and challenging and connecting acro yoga all all that. I just want to take this dopamine in right now. So back to the books. What three books? What are your these final three books on your 40 by 40 list?

01:19:22:17 - 01:19:45:07
Stephanie
So these final three books, I have to remember the titles of them to be honest. So one of them is called I Am a Mother, and it touches on essentially the importance of being a mother. And there's a small part that touches on how society as a whole doesn't appreciate motherhood like it used to or like it should.

01:19:45:08 - 01:20:11:17
Stephanie
And it's really helped open my eyes to I mean, a lot of the things that I've read, I've actually already heard or several times, honestly, but for some reason it's hit me differently. It's really helped me to see just how important moments are or the investments into our children or into myself, you know, like letting myself know that what I'm doing.

01:20:11:17 - 01:20:42:11
Stephanie
I'm not just a mother there's there's a section out of the talks about that this woman was a function and they were going around saying all their professions or the things that they've accomplished in their lives and she's like, I was really disappointed to hear so many women say, I'm just a mom. And so she challenges you to change that, to boldly take that on as I am a mother, you know, because mothers create the foundation of human beings, society as a whole.

01:20:42:15 - 01:20:43:11
Stephanie
Yeah.

01:20:43:13 - 01:20:46:09
Seth
Life. I mean, guys have something to do with it.

01:20:46:11 - 01:21:04:15
Stephanie
absolutely. Absolutely. They they can make or break a child. You know, their experiences. So it just really helped to open my eyes and my heart to more in motherhood and and how I can invest into and be proud of it. Be proud of.

01:21:04:15 - 01:21:08:14
Seth
It. Thanks for being an amazing mom to our children.

01:21:08:16 - 01:21:09:12
Stephanie
Thanks, buddy.

01:21:09:14 - 01:21:11:11
Seth
That's book number one. Book number two.

01:21:11:13 - 01:21:41:21
Stephanie
I'm really trying to remember this is funny. I have them stacked together and I guess the mother one is the one that's just sticking out. I'm 21 days closer to Christ. They take different attributes and biblical stories along those, and they're typically two to like five or six pages. And then they have you read scriptures specific to those stories and ask questions for you to think about.

01:21:41:23 - 01:21:49:17
Stephanie
So that one is as really powerful. And the third one, I'm loving all of them. So I can't even believe that I can't remember it.

01:21:49:19 - 01:21:56:08
Seth
Sorry. There's a third one that you'll be up tonight. I'm sure, reading all this.

01:21:56:10 - 01:22:19:12
Stephanie
It's creating temple patterns in your home, I believe, is what it is. So yeah, just talks about, you know, the different patterns in your home, not just organization and cleanliness, but also the things that you do as a family or, you know, things like that. Goals, dreams, lots of different things. And how they pertain to the beautiful.

01:22:19:12 - 01:22:22:17
Seth
Temples, temples, houses of the Lord worship places.

01:22:22:19 - 01:22:23:08
Stephanie
Yes.

01:22:23:10 - 01:22:47:22
Seth
Awesome. Wow. Powerful. This is a bigger discussion. But you can you just tell us a little about an experience you had really recently? I know you have a heart for You talked about this, this massive heart. And I think one thing and I truly believe this, you know, as we work with entrepreneurs to create prosperity and success financially, what are you doing today?

01:22:47:22 - 01:23:08:05
Seth
The template that you're living today, even if you're not where you want to be, is probably the template you're going to be living tomorrow. It's just going to be expanded potentially. But if you're for example, if you're not taking time out of your schedule today to serve people, even if you have a lot of lack or scarcity, like that's who you are, that's what you do, and we need to strive for that.

01:23:08:07 - 01:23:17:18
Seth
I think sometimes we think as soon as I make money, then I'm going to give more money. Soon as I have more time, then I'm going to give more time.

01:23:17:20 - 01:23:26:06
Stephanie
And which is true. I mean, if you do have those and then have a broader range to use those resources.

01:23:26:06 - 01:23:54:00
Seth
Yes. But if you're not if you don't make very much right now, if you're if you're really truly going to bed hungry, but at the same time, there's always somebody who's worse off than you usually is. There's a lot of people right? If it's so critical, I think that you make it an absolute characteristic and habit that even if I have lack, I know that there's something I can still give.

01:23:54:00 - 01:23:55:20
Stephanie
Absolutely.

01:23:55:22 - 01:24:22:17
Seth
Because if you wait to give until you have more. Right. Even if you can only give this much, the whole Bible story of the widow's might right. Christ talks about she gave more than all, but she didn't give more than all. Like I'm in accounting basis on a spiritual accounting basis. If she would've had $1,000,000, she would have she would have been given a whole big chunk right that day from abundance gave she from her lack gave.

01:24:22:17 - 01:24:55:07
Seth
So anyway, I guess I just I think it's really important that we create these patterns. And even if our budget is small, there's there's part of that budget's earmarked for giving money, buying meals, making bread. One, you know, giving time so that when you have more, those actually expand. It's not like they're poof. Now I'm giving because I became successful, which usually doesn't happen that way now.

01:24:55:09 - 01:25:01:11
Stephanie
So you get far more in return when you do give whether you have a great lack or a small lack.

01:25:01:11 - 01:25:03:01
Seth
Yeah.

01:25:03:03 - 01:25:19:21
Stephanie
I feel like, yeah, you can give time. You know, as a single mom, I, I would frequently babysat my nieces and nephews or other people that I knew needed and help because I knew that it was important to me to help, love and help others.

01:25:19:23 - 01:25:26:08
Seth
So let's talk about little that you're giving and then and then we'll probably wrap up day one.

01:25:26:10 - 01:25:35:18
Stephanie
Yeah. So Africa. my goodness. I seriously could do a whole podcast on this and maybe we should with Tish.

01:25:35:20 - 01:25:37:08
Seth
yeah. From Hearts and Hands.

01:25:37:08 - 01:26:05:17
Stephanie
Yes. So I went with an organization called Hearts and Hands. We flew over to Africa and so much good. I mean, you know, I called you face time to go a few days then, and you're like, Stephanie, you're glowing. I'm like, How can I not be like, pinch me. I'm in Africa serving all these beautiful people. You know, we got to take sandwiches to orphanages and play with the kids there and speaking of like, you know, they they get maybe one meal a day.

01:26:05:19 - 01:26:25:22
Stephanie
And they were so excited to see us and they knew we had food and we spread the peanut butter on really? And I was thinking, my goodness, are we being stingy? I will buy more peanut butter. Are you kidding me? Like, you know, all that frugality goes out the window and they're like, no, no, no. 70. It's because their bodies can't handle more than this.

01:26:26:04 - 01:26:49:23
Stephanie
Peanut butter is kind of a luxury anyways there and the other bodies can't handle more than that. So it was just so wonderful to we we brought lots of donated homemade toys, dolls, bears, wood cars. We brought ring pops and suckers, which most of them didn't even know how to open because they don't have those things. They I mean, they have them at the convenient store there.

01:26:49:23 - 01:27:05:13
Stephanie
But how many of them have money to even get to the convenient store or to spend their money on that? You know, they they've got to use it for food if they can, if they have it. So we had to open the wrappers for it and give it to them. And a couple of the kids, we did it and they they started eating the wrapper because they thought that was part of the candy.

01:27:05:15 - 01:27:35:07
Stephanie
We got to teach high school girls about their bodies about menstruation and how beautiful their bodies are and how it's their friend and and how God loves them. God loves them and we taught the boys, you know, the men, male volunteers taught the boys about how to be a gentleman, how to take care of women and girls, and how to serve and look out for that, you know, protect them, how to be a protector.

01:27:35:08 - 01:28:02:21
Stephanie
So important over there. We did also get to go on a safari, which was super, super cool. They took us to waterfall and and the tiger caves. So did some history, had some local Swahili food. So it was very rounded trip. But I will tell you, the heart of it was what's going on, serving and playing with these children, blowing bubbles and them lighting up or my goodness, the the orphanage that I went to.

01:28:02:23 - 01:28:21:16
Stephanie
And we brought some sandwiches again and we brought a few donated toys and they were wolf balls and we started throwing them to a couple of the kids and one girl in particular, like all the other kids, went and played with other toys after a while. And this girl was probably nine or ten. Want to say I'm really bad at guessing.

01:28:21:16 - 01:28:38:10
Stephanie
They just like, could be totally off. But she did not want to stop wearing that ball. Even when I'm with you, with me, even when it came down to them coming out and saying, Hey, we've we've got food, come get the food. And mind you, they they typically have one meal a day. And she's like, No, no, no, I'm good.

01:28:38:14 - 01:28:56:10
Stephanie
I'm throwing this. And so they're like, okay, you know, a little kid and the kid came back out, You need to come get some food. And so it's like, okay, I'll be right back. So she went inside, grabbed her sandwich, came back out, put it on the windowsill and kept her in that ball. She did not want to stop to eat because it meant so much to her.

01:28:56:12 - 01:29:18:01
Stephanie
And that continued until we left. She she absolutely wanted to throw until I got on that bus to leave and whatever, whatever, you know, we brought four for her to eat, you know, a little treat so much. She sat on the side and that, you know, just growing that ball made a huge impact because at that orphanage in particular, they have over 30 kids there.

01:29:18:03 - 01:29:29:06
Stephanie
And there's one woman and her her 16 year old daughter running it. So they don't have that connection, that affection that I was able to give her.

01:29:29:08 - 01:29:30:16
Seth
Future podcast.

01:29:30:18 - 01:29:32:11
Stephanie
Episode will.

01:29:32:13 - 01:29:57:20
Seth
Be meeting with meeting with the individuals who organize this. There's so many great, you know, charities and organizations. You know, you and I've been to Mexico with with our partner companies and charity organizations to build houses again. You got to make time now, right? Well, however small, if you have one minute extra today to do for somebody else, put that in your in your time budget.

01:29:57:22 - 01:30:03:03
Seth
It'll change somebody else's life. And guess what? It'll change yours, too. What's your next step with Africa?

01:30:03:04 - 01:30:24:15
Stephanie
man, there's so much to do there. I would love to get a team of people to go build a house. So one of the things that they do over there is they they drill for wells, water wells because the clean water there is very scarce. And when they do get water, they have to walk and travel miles every day to get it.

01:30:24:16 - 01:30:28:08
Stephanie
And it's actually very dangerous for the women and children that do that.

01:30:28:10 - 01:30:29:05
Seth
Why's that?

01:30:29:07 - 01:30:56:19
Stephanie
I think the biggest thing that is dangerous is I'm trying to figure out how to say this just the abuse that happens there. Rape is very frequent and it's it's a part of many of their lives. And so to build a well that is in their community, it supports schools and supports, there's one that that they've built that they also put a soccer field on there.

01:30:56:19 - 01:31:24:06
Stephanie
And so that keeps kids out of trouble. You know, all these young men and young women that can come and play soccer and have tournaments, it gives them something to do, something to live for. And but it helps them, you know, hundreds of them to come together. They can use this well to to drink. You know, the water that they drink is oftentimes looks like to be water.

01:31:24:08 - 01:31:46:16
Stephanie
It's very dark. A lot of them actually get diseases from it and die from it. So clean water, you know, it's a source of life. And they they don't have it there. So that's a big thing that they do. So it is really neat to be able to go and throw down the first pipe. They they have a drill team that does it by hand.

01:31:46:18 - 01:31:55:18
Stephanie
They crank this will and to help throw down that first pipe and to know that it's going to make a difference in hundreds lives.

01:31:55:20 - 01:32:11:18
Seth
And that's a great place to end. Thank Stephanie. Like this is weird. It's like you're actually the host of the Spot podcast, but this has been who is the host? Who's the woman behind the microphone. So thanks. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. This has actually been tremendous.

01:32:11:20 - 01:32:20:16
Stephanie
Thank you. I really appreciate you coming up with this and pushing me out of my comfort zone.

01:32:20:18 - 01:32:23:08
Seth
this day one.

01:32:23:10 - 01:32:26:09
Stephanie
And you know what? After doing this, I'm a little excited.

01:32:26:11 - 01:32:38:13
Seth
Awesome. So we'll be back with you for more episodes, incredible experiences and stories from our lives, but importantly, from incredible, talented, tenacious women from around the world.

01:32:38:15 - 01:32:41:00
Stephanie
And looking forward to that.

01:32:41:02 - 01:32:44:23
Seth
And cut. It's a wrap.

01:32:45:01 - 01:33:00:03
Stephanie
Thank you so much for being here today and thank you for sharing this episode with that one friend who needs this conversation. Thank you for all the ratings, the reviews, the comments, and especially the support we so appreciate you.

01:33:00:05 - 01:33:14:04
Seth
Now, if you want to take a peek behind the curtain and be the first to know about special previews, backstage updates here at the show, and especially some private collection content that doesn't come out in the regular show.

01:33:14:06 - 01:33:19:04
Stephanie
Be sure to join our VIP community at the Forever Young Show dot com.